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TMHS 543: 7 Powerful Ways To Strengthen Your Mindset & Create Unstoppable Momentum
“We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives… not looking for flaws, but for potential.” – Ellen Goodman
Every year when the calendar flips to a new year, millions of folks set out to create change in their lives, their relationships, and their bodies. Unfortunately, many resolutions fail because they are simply wishes paired with little follow-through. Today I wanted to highlight your immense capacity for cultivating change.
You are immensely powerful. Your thoughts, your words, and your actions all hold the potential to change the world around you. To remind you of this, I’m sharing seven clips from some of the impactful educators, best-selling authors, and thought leaders. You’re going to hear about the power of your words and the stories you tell yourself, how to build a network of support to help you reach your goals and the importance of investing some of your time into yourself.
This episode features some of the most inspiring and intelligent experts I know, including Dr. Michael Beckwith, Tim Grover, Lisa Nichols, and more. I sincerely hope that this episode gives you the tools and inspiration you need to step into your unique, innate power. So listen intently, apply what resonates with you, and enjoy the show!
In this episode you’ll discover:
- The importance of putting intention behind your words.
- How to use “what if” in an empowering, positive way.
- What it means to fine-tune your mental algorithm.
- Why burn out happens.
- The power of community and contribution.
- How the stories we tell ourselves can inform our decisions and outcomes.
- Why your beliefs (and not your thoughts) create your reality.
- A powerful method for rewriting old, disempowering stories.
- Why having support is the key to greatness.
- How to filter the advice you receive from others.
- The importance of creating a supportive environment.
- What the pandemic taught us about clutter, productivity, and creating a space to thrive.
- An important distinction between getting ready and staying ready.
- The problem with grinding, and how to reframe the way you think about hard work.
- How to cultivate mental toughness.
- The difference between keeping score and keeping track.
- What it means to put yourself at the front of your line.
- How to reclaim your time and protect future memories.
Items mentioned in this episode include:
- DrinkLMNT.com/model — Get a FREE sample pack for the cost of shipping!
- Organifi.com/Model — Use the coupon code MODEL for 20% off!
- Master Your Mindset with Dr. Michael Beckwith – Episode 495
- Use These Tools to Rise Above Fear & Unlock Your Potential with Jim Kwik – Episode 521
- Transform Your Struggles Into Strength with Cynthia Garcia – Episode 519
- The 6 Pillars of Wealth with Patrice Washington – Episode 520
- Overcome Fear & Develop a Winning Mindset with Tim Grover – Episode 483
- Use Adversity to Your Advantage with Inky Johnson – Episode 518
- Investing in Yourself & The Truth About Visualization with Lisa Nichols – Episode 474
Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Model Health Show. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute and leave a quick rating and review of the show on Apple Podcast by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!
Shawn Stevenson: Welcome to The Model Health Show. This is fitness and nutrition expert Shawn Stevenson and I'm so grateful for you tuning in with me today. There's a principle in physics that states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed. All of the energy that is, is already here. It's just cycling in and out of things. Transitioning in and out of form, in and out of our bodies. If you even think about the circle of life. This principal dictates the very containers in which we live, the cultures that we exist within, and even this concept of the day and night, of seasons of change and cycles that we all adhere to. Because we can see physical changes within the environment, for example, but there are also physical changes within our bodies that depend on the various cycles. Again, everything is changing and shifting. Energy is changing form.
And right now, we're approaching a new transition opportunity, a new change in life that we can take full advantage of. Every time a new year rolls around it's presenting an opportunity cognitively, but also if we're talking about the very fabric of what life is made of, there's a change taking place. Our big blue beautiful planet is spinning around the sun, and we're adhering to the laws of the universe. And every time a year changes on the calendar for many people, psychologically and physically, we feel a drive towards making a change. Now, most often the changes don't last that long. And so, what I'm wanting to provide for you today is some insight, some empowerment, and some momentum for you to take with you as you move into this new year.
And today you're going to hear from some of the most empowering thought leaders, best-selling authors and educators in the world today. Because this year in particular is very special. We're going into 2022, as of this recording... I know some people are listening to this in the future, right now... We have thousands of people who listen to the very first episode of The Model Health Show, every single week, which is incredible, incredible. And thank you everybody who's taken this ride along with me throughout these years. But this year in particular, at this moment, moving into 2022 is incredibly important because we want to make sure that 2022 isn't 2020-two. We want to make sure this is not like 2020 all over again. Alright. That's 2020-two. Or we can make this 2022 a new beginning, a new opening, a new opportunity for change or growth or success. And so, to kick things off with a very important reminder of how powerful you are, how powerful your words are, how powerful your intention and attention truly are, we have best-selling author and the founder of Agape International, Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith. He's here to kick off this important compilation of empowerment, insight, and inspiration for you to take into the new year.
Michael Bernard Beckwith: So oftentimes, people are just casual with their conversations, not understanding that they're actually setting something in motion... "Oh my poor back. Oh, I don't like this person." Gossiping, talking bad about themselves even... They're setting things in motion. So, I like to say, "I don't want to say what I don't want to experience. I want to say what I want to experience." So, I'll say, "It's a magnificent day. Life is good. There's a way out of this. There's an answer to this issue. There's a solution somewhere. I'm going to stay there until that becomes flesh." But it's practice because individuals, particularly now, people have normalized negativity. They've made fear popular. You know what I mean? And that's become... You're an odd ball. If in fact you're operating at a different level. They think you're just weird... You know...
And so, you'd rather be an odd ball in a crazy world, than to be normal in a crazy world. Yeah, but I always caution people... And I'll check people when they're with me. I say, "Well, wait a minute." There's unlimited good here. Just because you can't see it, it doesn't mean it's not here. There's unlimited possibilities. Don't block yourself in to what your mind thinks is possible. This is the only way that some good is going to come into your life, it becomes... That's blocked. No good is going to come in... Infinite ways. Infinite ways can... Miracles can happen. Your mind will call it miracles, but they're just demonstrations of truth. So why block yourself in... Just stop it. Just say, you don't know how it's going to happen right now, you're available to it, let's see what happens. Let the universal presence through its laws, shock, and surprise you...
Shawn Stevenson: Normalize that.
Michael Bernard Beckwith: Right. Normalize that.
Shawn Stevenson: Oh... Yeah. I'm literally just still ruminating on normalizing fear... It's a system within us that of course, it's provided us value over our evolution for sure. But today to live in that state habitually... We never... We're not wired up to live that way. We're not designed to be that way. And so even with so many folks having their aspirations, goals... Everybody listening right now has incredible potential to achieve things beyond our wildest imagination... But I think so often... And fear being a big driving force of this, we get caught up in what if instead of what is... So how do we go from what if to what is?
Michael Bernard Beckwith: Yeah. Well, what if can also be used positively. What if everything works out? What if I have more than enough money? You can go there, and you'll get to what is. 'Cause what is that right here and right now all of the power, all the presence, all the intelligence, all of the love, all that is, is already here. It's already here. It may be latent within us, but it is here. And as we begin to think like that, and contemplate that truth, our frequency rises. We begin to hang in that awareness. Now, what has happened is that individuals have normalized fear, which means their attention is more on what they don't want, than on what they do want. So, what people don't understand is that anything you don't want, you're having a relationship with it. It's existing, and you're not wanting it. And so, people walk out, "I don't want to be broke. I don't want to get sick. I don't want to contract the Rona. Collect... I don't want to catch the coronavirus... I don't want to... I don't want to."
So, in that moment, if I don't want to... The law doesn't distinguish between what you want and don't want, it only knows what you're interested in. And so, if you're interested in not getting robbed, not getting poor, not catching a disease, you're in relationship with that, and then that's what you manifest. Now, you may not manifest that exactly, but your body temple doesn't know the difference. You'll still produce toxic chemicals. Immediate toxic chemicals... Immediate create the condition for disease. So, I teach people, you get what you want or don't want. The law doesn't differentiate. So, stop placing all of your attention on what you don't want to happen, and begin to place your attention on what you like to see unfold in your life. Begin to describe it. The law says, "You don't describe what you see, you see what you describe." So, if you're living in an accurate description of possibility, then the law starts to bring that into manifestation. You see.
And... Now, most people... People should be taught this in elementary school, but instead... We have the nefarious forces that keep people in fear... And keeping all pumped up about what to be afraid of next. Oh, the Russians... Oh Corona... Oh... Aliens... Oh... Whatever it is, people are nervous... We're not meant to be like that... We are an absolute reflection of the entire cosmos. What do we have to be afraid of? There's no such thing as death. You see... So, there's no loss in the cosmic scheme. But everybody is... They've allowed themselves to shrink into being a little old something. And then they normalize they're fear... Shakespeare said, "A coward dies a thousand deaths." Constantly... Even before anything even happens. They've rehearsed all the negative stuff... It's not funny, but it is kind of a comedy, what human beings do to themselves.
What I see is that we're in the middle of a great awakening. And you're seeing the crumbling of the old paradigm, and you're seeing the emergence of what's happening new, both in the same space and the same time. In Newtonian physics, that can't exist. You can't have two objects in the space, same time. But in quantum reality you can have everything in the same space at the same time, but they're vibrating at different levels. So, you have the old paradigm fear, fear, fear, fear, worry, worry, worry, worry, lack, limitations, scarcity, not enough, not enough jobs, not enough this, not enough that. That's not real. That's made up. And so, what's happening is the crumbling of the old, where people are going to be forced to really get a sense of who they are and stop leaning on external things like governments and politicians, and things of that particular nature. I tell people, the only authority you have is the authority of your own conviction. That's the authority. You can't outsource your authority to someone out there. Those people work for you. You don't work for them. They work for you. And so, your attention has to be on what kind of life you want to live, and how that can assist you to live that life.
Now if you don't have a vision then they're going to tell you what your vision is. If you don't have your possibility for your own life then you're going to listen to these people, and they're going to run your life. You see... So, the idea is that we're in a great awakening... Everything is shifting. The world of phenomena is moving really fast, and there's an emergence taking place. There's people becoming more sovereign, people taking their authority back, people that are saying, "Hell no." I mean it's very similar to the vibration of during the Vietnam War, when people wake up and said, "Whoa, wait a minute. We're going to kill these people we don't know. Why? This is... Why are doing this?" And nobody could give an answer... You know what I mean?
So, it's a stream of consciousness that's happening. And again, you don't see it 'cause it's not on the news, but there's many people that are coming to an understanding that their own authority is here. It's their connection to the universe, not connection to a party, Republican, Democrat, or Independent. It's connected to something else. And you'll also notice these days that people that used to be diametrically opposed to each other are now sharing some of the same... They're in agreement with some of the same things. It used to be everything was black or white, Republican, Democrat. Now, it's like that guy over there, I agree with what he's saying. So, there's a...
Shawn Stevenson: For a growing number of people that's happening. Yes.
Michael Bernard Beckwith: Yes. So, there's a whole breaking down of what used to be black and white, this and that to, "Hmm, there's something happening." And I think that's a precursor to something breaking down to something else, emerging. We have our inner authority connected to the presence, we begin to have a vision to the kind of world we want to live in, and we start to walk in that direction. Again, the reporters are reporting from the old paradigm. We're seeking to report from something new that's emerging. That means you have to see the invisible in order to do the impossible. Every great thing that's ever happened in life... It was invisible. Somebody saw it... Nobody... People... I remember when people used to say, apartheid was going to be here forever. That was the thing. There's no way that these people are going to give up control and power, but it was... Somebody saw it. And then one day...
That was the new paradigm. The Berlin wall came down. That was never going to come down. So, there are a lot of things we're dealing with now... The highest frequency always wins. That's the law. The highest frequency is more powerful than the lower frequency... A thought that emerges from a field of fear, worry, control, domination, manipulation has less power than the thought that's emerging from a field of love.
Shawn Stevenson: Up next in our compilation of empowerment and creating momentum as we move into 2022, we have New York Time's best-selling author, an accelerated learning expert, Jim Kwik. Jim and I have been friends for over a decade. And he's continued to add so much value to my life and so many incredible insights and so many lives we've been able to impact together collectively... Going way, way back. It's got to be getting close to actually 15 years now. But he's one of my all-time favorite human beings. And in this clip, he's going to be sharing with you why it's important to take control of your mental algorithm. Just like we have these social media algorithms, these internet algorithms that are following us around and feeding us what we're attuned to... We also have a mental algorithm that we need to take control over. And also, he's going to be sharing a way to help overcome the feelings of divisiveness that are rampant in our world right now. Let's check out this segment from my conversation with my amazing friend Jim Kwik.
Jim Kwik: Part of self-care is realizing when you say yes to somebody or something, you're not saying no to yourself. And a lot of people, they're burnt out because they have too many tabs open, and it's still taking up a lot of space, it's requiring a lot of energy. People are over-committing all the time to things that they can't fulfill on. And so, there's a kind of a breach with your own... Or your own commitments and your own trust with yourself. I would also say that part of self-care is making the choice when you say yes to something, like, all the craziness that's out there... It's interesting... Like a lot of us are on social media... And there is an algorithm to social media clearly. And one of the algorithms, is whatever you engage with, you get more of. So, if you just happen to be really into... We mentioned this before, but cat videos or whatever... That you just engage, like, share, comment, watch all the cat videos, then they're going to show you a lot more cat videos. And that's going to be your perception. That's going to be your newsfeed.
Well, your mind has a similar algorithm. Whenever you're consistently engaging with, they're going to show you more of... And media marketing knows this... If it bleeds, it leads... If something is threatening, your... Part of your brain, let's say... The amygdala gets hijacked, and you have to pay attention 'cause that's your survival, so you have to pay attention to what's dark, threatening, and scary. And the challenge is if that's what you're engaging with, just like the cat videos, they're going to show you more of it. Your mind is going to see literally in your observation, in your perception, more of that darkness, scariness, the threatening things, because that's what you're engaging with. You're training your nervous system saying, "This is important." And the challenge though is that leaves you very little bandwidth for hope. That leaves you very little bandwidth for opportunity. That leaves you very small bandwidth for solutions. For the things... Leaves a less bandwidth for gratitude... The things you can be grateful for.
And so... Just remind... With care... Part of it is just... It's like self-love... It's falling in love with that person in the mirror that's been through so much, but is still standing and making self-care a party for you, your family, your team also... Also, as well. And that's why we're always feeding our minds with great podcasts like yourselves, with books, and with great conversations and people... And again, it could be 10 minutes just like the other ones. It could be just going for a 10-minute walk with your dog that day. Something that... 'Cause little by little, a little becomes a lot. So, the question here would be like, "How can you take some of your time, your talent, your treasure, to make a difference?" I think when we're making a difference, it's something that gives us... It gives us fulfillment; it gives us joy. And again, these are emotions that could drown out the fear and the negative self-talk and all those sensations where we feel immobilized. It gives us our power back again... A lot of these conversations are about getting your agency back. 'Cause when we're in fear, we feel like we're at the effect... We feel like we're a thermometer.
A thermometer just reacts to the environment. And as human beings sometimes we react to the environment. We react to politics. We react to what's going in the world, and the economy or people treat us. But in actuality, the strongest, most successful, happiest fulfilled people, the ones that have joy, they identify more with the thermostat. A thermostat doesn't react to the environment. It gauges... So be a thermostat. Gauge... Know what's going on in the world, right? But then, you set a temperature and the environment reacts to you... And you set a goal, or you set a vision for what you want to do... A mission... How you want to disrupt things and make things better. And then make it the way you see it. So, if you feel fear, what do you need to do to feel like that you're prepared. And I think that skills, those knowledge, those abilities will give me more courage.
Shawn Stevenson: Just awesome. Awesome. I love that question because this is using this innate ability of the mind to answer any question, we pose it. To just take a moment to just grab the reins of our mind just a little bit, grab the wheel and ask, "What is this fear trying to teach me?" What is this fear instructing me about? And even from that place, we could start to break down... Oftentimes it becomes an irrational thing, we can break down identify what it really is that might be bothering us. But oftentimes it's also creating the opportunity to develop a certain capability.
Jim Kwik: Very much so.
Shawn Stevenson: So, it could be a capability or capacity of resilience, of creativity, or of being able to perspective take to see things from different dimensions, whatever the case might be. So, these are all very powerful.
Jim Kwik: So, people have a fear of money, maybe that that's a signpost to say, "Hey, I need to get some financial literacy." If people have a fear of numbers. They could take something... If they have fear of forgetting things, they could do a memory course. You know what I mean? There're things that the people could do. If they have a fear of starting a relationship because they have had trauma in the past or they're dealing with some self-esteem issues, maybe it's taking a course or reading something. And then that knowledge and those skills and abilities help us to level up. I would actually add just in the spirit of this conversation, I would add a sixth one... So, I want to be really abundant here in a time of fear... Potentially. What's that fear of like... What's the acronym? False Evidence Appearing Real. Community, you want to get out of fear, be part of something. And that's like a hunter gatherer... You have a village, and it takes a village. But you know people have your back. Like you and your community.
And it's one of those things where it's just... Those are the people that would survive... It wasn't the lone hunter. And so, everything kind of comes back to that. And again, fear, could be a good thing. Now, if you have a fear or just... It could save your life. Right. Being fearful of falling off of a cliff or a fear of... You wear your seatbelt... You do certain things, but the challenge is irrational fear. Which is happening a lot... Where people know that fear is one of the most powerful ways... Powerful, and proven ways to manipulate people to do things they wouldn't normally do unless their survival brain was on alert. So, community... People ask that African proverb, "If you want to go faster you go alone, if you want to go further go together." How do you become limitless in a limited world? We do it together. And that's the only way.
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah. So good. So good. So, I want to dive a little bit deeper into community because I think that this is an under-utilized super power... Especially when you're facing a larger than life villain... You get a Thanos situation. It's SARS-COV Thanos showing up.
Jim Kwik: Yeah.
Shawn Stevenson: You get the Avengers together for a situation like this. You don't try and do it yourself. So, what can folks look to if they're feeling like... And I know a lot of folks are feeling this way, that they're kind of cut adrift. A lot of folks are having issues with their family, with their co-workers, whatever the case might be based on their sense of sovereignty and their own personal choices and freedoms, whatever the case might be. Or maybe they're participating in the change that's going on... The mandates, but they just feel like, "Hey, I believe that everybody should be able to make their own decisions, whatever the case might be." But even going a little bit outside of the dictator type narrative, people are feeling like they're at odds with other people. So, what can folks do to galvanize and get together with a community of like-minded people who are not here to necessarily fight against something, because ultimately... And I got to share this, I don't think that we're fighting against each other, I think that's the framing of the media making us hate each other.
Jim Kwik: Divisiveness for sure.
Shawn Stevenson: We're really fighting together against idiocy, I think that's one of the things that were fighting against, but ultimately, we're fighting for the spirit and the souls of people. That intangible, universal, timeless thing about us and understanding our place in all this. Right now, I think we're very short-sighted, and I think that that's what we're really fighting for. We’re fighting for freedom of thought; we're fighting for Human Potential. So, I just want to share that little nugget, but what can folks do right now to cultivate and get themselves plugged into a community when they might feel like they're a little bit kind of drifting alone?
Jim Kwik: Yeah. I think this is a very important conversation that if somebody's listening to this right now and they're fearing feeling alone. If they feel isolated, if they somehow feel marginalized, you're not... First of all, that person's not alone, because there are so many people who are feeling the same way without a doubt, and sometimes it could be tough when we're going through trauma or depression, or an anxiety and we all go through different stages. I think everybody is fighting a battle that no one knows about. That's why I think now more than ever, kindness is important. That kindness is a real superpower. I was saying before it's important to, if you haven't found that community or that person to be able to back you or support you or just be there, just to be that person for somebody else.
So, I think we always should be giving the thing that we sometimes need the most. I think also part of it has to do with acknowledging that it's okay to feel this way and then... 'Cause I think self-awareness is the starting point for anything, you need to be consciously aware that something is going on. And then you need to sometimes take a little bit of courage... I saw this movie recently, I didn't really watch it 'cause I had it in the background, it's with Matt Damon. It was, We Bought A Zoo. You see this movie? But there's just quote, this line that just kind of struck me when I was listening to it. Something like, "All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage, and I promise you something amazing and profound will come from it." And so sometimes knowing that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, that certainly it's certainly a sign of courage and it's a sign of strength, now. And so, I would say, acknowledge that you're in this place.
And then try to make a decision, going back to choice, saying that I want to be able to serve somebody else and by through service you could connect. And that's how a lot, even... I met a lot of the people growing up and my grandparents and everything else like that, we didn't have connections and everything, but I would serve... I would be active parts in charities and fundraisers and allowed me to connect and get out of my own mind and my own heart and my own fears when I was going through my challenges like everybody has. So, I would say seek community, that there are people out there that you fit in with. For me, I was looking for my X-Men, for people that just, were just kind of weird and different and little mutants like myself, but a lot of people are feeling like this is endgame.
And I'm not saying that you have to be the Hulk and Iron Man and the Scarlet Witch, but I would say, make a decision to connect with people and it's that simple, but it's that difficult sometimes too. So, I'll acknowledge that also as well. It's tough, especially when it's family and friends, 'cause they are doing their act... If they're acting a certain way and sometimes their intent is positive, but they can be sincerely wrong with how they're approaching things. And so, it's a big challenge right now, and I think now more than ever, we... It's about creating your own team. T-E-A-M. Together Everyone Achieves More. Right? Together Everyone Achieves Miracles.
Shawn Stevenson: Now, as mentioned, Jim Kwik is an accelerated learning expert. Teaches masterful speed reading, improving memory and also teaching people how to think, not just what to think, but also how to think and really access the capacity of our amazing brains. And he's also been somebody that I've seen first-hand, really dial in and share with people, all the millions of people that he impacts, the importance of taking care of our brain's health through our nutrition. And one of the foundational things that is so overlooked in our world today, again, this is a foundational thing that our brain is built upon. Number one, our brain is mostly water. 80% of the human brain is made of water. Of the dry weight of the human brain, and we're talking about the construct of dietary fat, so we might bring in... Also, our brain creates its own fats from the raw materials that it gives us, but something that's incredibly important for the very communication of all of our brain cells resides in the electrolytes, because these electrolytes are minerals that carry an electric charge, enabling signal transduction, enabling our brain cells to actually talk to each other.
Not only that, one of the most important electrolytes, sodium, actually helps to maintain water balance in the brain. And so, if we're deficient in sodium, some really negative things can start to take place. Researchers at McGill University found that sodium functions as a "on-off switch." in the brain for specific neurotransmitters that support optimal function and protect our brain against numerous diseases like epilepsy, for example. So, this is not only improving function, but also protecting our brain from degradation. Very, very important. Another electrolyte, magnesium. This is from a double-blind, placebo-controlled study published in the Journal of Alzheimer's Disease, found that improving magnesium levels in adult test subjects, and these folks were between ages of 50 and 70, could potentially reverse brain aging by over nine years.
Improving the form and functionality of the human brain in later years, in advanced years, this would be unheard of, but it's a very simple science, it's giving the brain what it actually needs to create tissues to create connectivity and communication and give yourself the gift of better brain health in 2022. As a matter of fact, this is a true gift because you're going to get to try my favorite electrolytes for free. The electrolytes that I utilize with the right combination of magnesium, of sodium, of potassium in the right ratios is from LMNT. That's L-M-N-T. Go to drinklmnt.com/model and they're going to send you a variety pack right to your doorstep for free, all you need to do is pay a little shipping, they're going to send you this incredible electrolyte formula, right to your front door.
No binders, no fillers, no added sugar, just the electrolytes that your body can utilize to thrive. Go to drinklmnt.com/model for your free sample. And if you've been on LMNT already, this is a time to re-up. Get yourself stocked up on LMNT as we move into 2022. Now, moving on in our compilation here of inspiration and creating momentum as we head into the new year, we have on somebody who was a real life, close friend of mine. I see her all the time, I actually just saw this weekend. She's the bestselling author and founder of the Institute of Transformational Nutrition, ITN. I'm talking about none another then Cynthia Garcia. This is one of my favorite moments of 2021, one of the most inspirational moments, and that's really what this compilation is. Some of the most inspirational moments for me personally as well, and in this conversation, she's going to be sharing why our identity is at the very root of all of our choices. Our choices are literally creating our life, is creating the results in our life. But it stems from our thoughts create our choices, but our thoughts are stemming from our identity, our beliefs, our beliefs about ourselves, our beliefs about the world around us as well. So again, she's going to talk about why our identity is at the root of all of our choices and also, she's going to be sharing why shifting our story is the real key to sustainable changes and success moving forward. Check out this clip and the amazing Cynthia Garcia.
Cynthia Garcia: It's definitely been a volatile time and a lot of people were thrown out of their comfort zone, and that resulted in a lot of things. As you know, we saw issues with mental health skyrocket, suicide rates skyrocketed, people were at home with nothing but their thoughts and their feelings and their emotions. And it's funny, I had a friend of mine call me up, she was also a coaching client, and she was like, "I just need something to do." And I was busy at the time, and I said, "Oh, just watch something on Netflix." And she said, "I finished it." And I was like...
Shawn Stevenson: What?
Cynthia Garcia: "Like all of Netflix? You just finished it?" And we did that, right? Netflix... We did all the things. But then, at some point that gets old and it's just us and our thoughts and our feelings about ourselves, about our past, about where we're going or what we're doing or where we're not going or what we're not doing. Right? And so, I think what's happening now is we've had a bit of time to get some perspective and to really look at our lives and to re-evaluate, what are we doing and what is this one precious life going to be for us? But you're right, not to get off track, because we do have stories that we've created and been telling since we were children and we know through Narrative Psychology, which is the study of how we tell ourselves these stories, that we make up stories to explain things that happen to us.
And then we just decide that they're true and then those stories become rooted as beliefs. People like to think, "Oh your thoughts create your reality." And spoiler alert, they don't. It's your belief that actually create your actions, your thoughts, your responses to things. And so when we look at changing our lives and when we try to do that through just changing our thoughts, it's not sustainable long-term because that's not where the real action is coming from. It's coming from these deep-seated beliefs. And fortunately, we... Our success, our happiness, our health is all determined by those stories and until we learn how to rewrite them for good, we're stuck. We're stuck in these perpetual cycles. Starting, stopping, starting, stopping. And so, here we are.
Shawn Stevenson: This is so true, because if we really look at it for ourselves and also in the lives of other people, during this time, especially when we're under pressure and I remember it's Wayne Dyer who made the analogy, when you squeeze an orange, what comes out of it? It's going to be orange juice. What's going to come out is what's in it. What happens when life squeezes you? What's going to come out of it is what's already in you. So, during this time I believe that worriers worried, fighters fought, people who were empaths empathed, they felt...
Cynthia Garcia: Yeah, yeah.
Shawn Stevenson: And it's because of our pre-existing experiences and what we bring forward. You know, I do believe that some of this is in our DNA, but I also believe that humans are not just a product of our environment. We're creators of our environment, we're creators of our experience. We can choose to be more of a fighter, we can choose to be more of a warrior, we can choose to be more empathetic, these are all things that we can cultivate. So, with that being said, how do the stories that we tell ourselves out picture themselves into the world around us?
Cynthia Garcia: That's such a great question. And before we dive into that, I also want to say, what you said is so true. When we were alone, we did these things. Empaths empathed, they felt... We all kind of did our default response. The other really interesting thing that was happening is that we found ourselves again, coming face-to-face with ourselves. And when we're out and about, when we're all hanging out, we have mirror neurons, and you know this, it's just brain science. So, if you... If I show up to your house and you're kind of in a crummy mood, I'm going to feel that and my neurons want to mirror that. It's why they say you are an average of the five people you spend the most time with, because it's true. And so, what we do in groups often times is we'll say, "Well, what do you think?" Or we'll go along with the group consensus or even if we want to do something different and somebody says, "Let's go to a movie." We go to a movie 'cause we don't want to upset the apple cart, so to speak. And so, we weren't able to do that. And so, a lot of people were left wondering like, "Well, what do I want? What do I want to eat? What do I want to do? Do I like this podcast, or do I actually like this movie that I'm watching on Netflix?"
Shawn Stevenson: Do I like this person I'm with?
Cynthia Garcia: "Do I like this person I'm with?" And so, we had to really have those hard conversations, and for a lot of us, that was almost too hard at times, that's where the mental health concerns came in. But you're right, our stories, the things that make them so powerful is we're not always aware of them. The majority of the time, we're not aware of them. So, it's kind of like an iceberg, like 10% of it is above water, but those 90% just kind of run and we don't always notice them, but they are having a huge impact on our decisions. So, here's what people don't always think about, and again, it's just a neuro-science. When you're given an opportunity, you'll just make a decision immediately, and that's done unconsciously through your stories or you'll take an action unconsciously and then you'll logically back it up with what you just did, which was driven by these old stories, these old beliefs that you had.
So, we like to think we are making decisions when we're not. What's happening is, we made a decision when we were seven or eight years old and that's running the show now and you're just thinking that you're actually in the driver's seat and you back it up with logic and reason and you do those things. But it's so important and that's why it's so important to know how to go back and rewrite these old stories, because if you don't, you're forever traps with an 8-year-old, a 6-year-old, a 12-year-old's stories running your life. And I don't know about you, you were probably super evolved at that age. I was not...
I was not at that level. So, it's not a good idea. You know, we have limiting beliefs that keep us stuck and... But again, the good news is we can rewrite them.
Shawn Stevenson: So, I want to ask you about, how do we actually... What are some steps that we can take to begin to change the story that may be disempowering us? Is there anything that folks can start to look to even today, starting now, to start to change those stories?
Cynthia Garcia: Oh yeah, there's so much we can do and... And you're right, it's funny. I think a lot of us think our stories are normal. Just like in health, people will eat something that they have a food intolerance for. Eggs... You know all the common things.
Shawn Stevenson: 7/11 Nacho's with chili and cheese?
Cynthia Garcia: Well, I mean, you went there.
Shawn Stevenson: For example.
Cynthia Garcia: For example. Yes. And then they'll be like, "Well, my stomach hurts. But that's normal for me. That's just normal." You ever hear anyone say... Like, I've had so many clients be like, "That's just what happens every time I eat beans... " Whatever. Right? And you'll agree but that's actually not normal. And so, I think a lot of us do the same thing with our stories. I'm writing my memoir now, which is where a lot of this research came into play because people... If you looked at where I came from and you looked at the life I have, and people do, they'll say, "Well, how did you... How? How did you get from there to here?" From this little girl who went to school in dirty clothes and smelled in the Appalachian Mountains to living a pretty cool life now and hanging out with cool folks like you. And it really is through rewriting my stories. And as I went back and I was, again, writing my memoir, it's funny, I turned in the story, because I don't know if I've told you this either. So, at one time when I first moved to LA, I was homeless and there was this whole story behind it, but I wrote this for my editor and I sent it to her and she was like, "This is so crazy." And I'm like, "Is it?" I don't... We just become accustomed to our normal, but you can change those things. So...
Your question was, how, how do we change that? So, I created this method because my head is kind of all over the place and I need things in systems and frameworks and boxes and checklists. That's how I live my life. And so, there's an acronym, and it's STORY. It's called the Stuck Story Coaching Method. It helps you get unstuck from your stories, rewrite a new one, create a life so good you're only jealous of yourself. So, STORY is an acronym, because again, that's the way my mind makes sense of things. And S is for Stuck. So, what that means is, what are you stuck around right now? What is something that you want in your life that you don't have? And that could be anything. It could be a better relationship, it could be a relationship in general, any kind of relationship. It could be, "I want more money, I want to be healthier, I want to lose weight." It could be anything. What is that thing that you want?
And then T is the belief. So why do you believe that you can't have it? So, let's say you're stuck around money, let's say you want to make more money, you know you're worth more, you're just not getting it. And you're stuck. So, the belief, which is the T, might be like, "Meh. Money's for other people. Not for me." So, I'll use myself as an example. When I grew up, again, was growing up, we didn't have a lot of money. My parents would often say things like, "Money doesn't grow on trees." Right? "That's for other people, not for us." So, my belief around money might be that "Well, that's for other people. That's for other people." So now that we have that, what we want to do is the O, and that's the original event.
So where did this belief come from? And we're going to time travel a little bit because a belief is nothing more than an equation, it's made up of three E's. It's made up of the Event that happened, the Explanation, the meaning that you gave it and the Emotion that you felt when you did. Okay. So, let's say, I remember back in time where I had this dress that I wanted, and I had this little dress that I wanted to wear to this little school dance and I go to my mom and I say, "Gosh, I really, really, really want this dress. I'll do anything. Can I just get the dress?" And she says, "No, we're not the kind of people that have money for that. That's not for you." Let's just say she says that. Or let's just say she wasn't even that clear, let's just say she was like, "No. Money doesn't grow on trees, we can't afford that. No. You can't have that dress."
The event that happened was, I asked for the dress, and she said no. But the explanation I gave it was, "Oh, that's not for me. That's for other people." That's where that, "I don't deserve it. I don't... It's not for me, it's for other people." So that's the original event. And then the explanation I gave was, again, it's for other people. The emotion that I felt was probably disappointment, probably hurt, pain. And so, I said earlier, we say that our thoughts create our reality and they don't, the beliefs do. And the difference is a thought with heavy emotion tied to it, that becomes a belief, and that emotion is what anchors it into your subconscious. That's where we decide that this is true for me, and I'll spend the rest of my life proving it. So...
I mean thoughts... We have 60,000 thoughts a day, if they really did determine our lives, we'd all be a little loopy right now. It's our beliefs that do that. So, I know where I'm stuck, I know the thought that, "Oh, money's for other people, not for me." I know the event that happened and where that came from now, and now we get to the R, which is rewriting it. Really simple, because all we have to do, Shawn, is we just have to be able to give a different explanation to the event that happened. And then we'll feel different, so the emotions are different. So, let's say I went back in time, and I said, "Gosh, that explanation that I gave, my mom saying, "No, you can't get this dress," it wasn't true. And it was that she wanted to get it for me as a gift later and surprise me with it." Now, that may or may not be true but here's the cool thing, it doesn't matter. You know this. Your brain doesn't know the difference between something happening straight in front of you and something that you're just making up. So, for example, do you ever get into an argument with someone... You probably haven't 'cause you're just a better person than I am.
Shawn Stevenson: Whatever.
Cynthia Garcia: But did you never get into an argument with someone and then... I mean, 12 hours later, you're still replaying it and you're thinking of the things you should have said and if given the opportunity, you will say those things? It's like you got this loop going on, you're like planning your attack. What happens in your body?
Shawn Stevenson: You feel the feelings.
Cynthia Garcia: Right? Your adrenaline go, and you're like, "Let's go. Let's go, Angie." And so that's an example of your mind not knowing that Angie is not there and you're not about to throw out. In your head, you're ready to go, and so your body responds appropriately, your mind is like, "Yeah, this is really happening. Let's respond to that." So, the same is true for these stories, it doesn't matter if it's true or not, it just has to be different, so I'm just going to go with my mom was a great momma and she was going to surprise me with this dress later, and that's why she said no. Well, now, what emotions do I feel? Well, happiness, love. I feel cared for. So, the belief as it existed before, that this isn't for me, this is for other people, it can exist because again, a belief is an equation, an event that happened, the explanation and the emotion. So, if the explanation is changed and the emotion is different, all that's left is an event where my mom said no to me wanting a new dress. Do you see how that works?
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah.
Cynthia Garcia: So now there's no more story.
Shawn Stevenson: And also, if I can throw this in here as well, this is so powerful by the way, but even within the explanation, I'm thinking about a similar scenario, and then maybe you change the explanation to being in this base being based on a factual occurrence that happened to me, I was told that this isn't for me, so that I can grow myself and have this transformation, and to create the opportunity to have those things that I always wanted that I wouldn't have had that kind of fire had I not had a life of not enough or I'm not enough.
Cynthia Garcia: Right? You're good at this game.
Shawn Stevenson: Thank you. Yahtzee. I've never played Yahtzee before.
Cynthia Garcia: Uno.
Shawn Stevenson: But Uno.
Cynthia Garcia: Poor man is Yahtzee. Yeah, it's true though. You can give any explanation that you want, because remember, it's your story, you're the only one that's decided that it's true. Right, and here's another great explanation, and heaven knows, I've used this one from time to time, Maya Angelou used to say, she would say, "Baby, you ain't even in it, you ain't even in it." Right, and this really comes in handy when we go back and we find stories that are really tough to rewrite, Shawn. When I go back, and I try to rewrite stories around being abused as a child. Man, I don't know. How do I explain that? What's the explanation I give for that? And here's what I give, I'm not even in it. It has nothing to do with me, I just happened to be the one that was there. It was all that person, and that person had some stuff going on and I can't even begin to know what that was, and it doesn't matter, I could dive into psychoanalyzing them and being like, "Well, they were abused when they... " It doesn't matter, right? That's none of my business. That's nothing, I'm not even in it.
And that's the explanation, and that's enough to set me free from that story so that I can go write a new one. Does that make sense?
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah.
Cynthia Garcia: Yeah, so it's all in how we decide, it's the meaning that we give to things, I'm telling you, as you go home today, somebody pulls out in front of you, you can lose your mind and you can be like, "You son of a feather," whatever you want to do or you can be like, "Wow, I hope that guy's family is okay, and there's not an emergency going on." You get to choose in every moment. Once you rewrite your story, that brings us to the why in the story, which is your new identity, your identity, identities are so powerful, and they really do run our lives, so as I said earlier, we make up these stories, like I made up a story I'm not special, that becomes my identity. And my identity for a long time was this poor girl, again, from the Appalachian Mountains who wasn't very educated, whose own family didn't like her, which means how could anyone else. Right, that was my identity for a long time, it's not anymore, and you get to choose.
So, when you go back to where you're stuck, and we said we want more money, who would the person that has the money that you want... How would they act? Right. How would they show up every day? Would they sleep in? Would they get up and eat some Cheerios? Would they Netflix for a couple of hours? Would they be on Instagram or another app? Probably not, right. They're probably up and they're probably about their business, right. So, you create a new identity, and again, the beauty is you get to choose. No one tells you no, you can't be that. Some examples of identities like Kobe Bryant, Black Mamba. Muhammad Ali, when he was in the ring, he was the king of the world, right? That's who... That was his identity. Remember when Beyonce created Sasha Fierce, Eminem created Slim Shady. I'm not a music geek right now, but we do this, we create these identities, and then what did all of these people do, they acted as if that's who they were. I'm sure when Kobe went home, he wasn't like Black Mamba to his little baby. He was Kobe, he was dad. He was...
But on the court, he was very much that identity, and so you get to choose, choose your new identity and then act as if, feel as if. You have to show up, like surround yourself as if you're already... As if you already have the money that you say you want, or the relationship or whatever it is, because that will, of course bring that in. And the other thing that people get caught up on is, how, how do I get the money? Right. How do I get healthy? Shawn, I've tried this thing it doesn't... How? When you shift your identity and you just become the person that is... That has the money that you want, or has the body or the health, it's amazing, your mind will open to new thoughts, ideas, programs, products that you wouldn't have even thought about before because that wasn't the identity, maybe you weren't resourceful before in your identity, and now you are so all these new options about the how will all of a sudden appear before you and then you get to choose.
Shawn Stevenson: As was mentioned, Cynthia is also the founder of the Institute of Transformational Nutrition, the Premier Health Coaching Institute in the world. What really sets them apart it's not just the education around health and wellness, it's the education around creating a sustainable business, doing something that you love, if you're passionate about service, about helping other humans, whether you are already in the healthcare field or you're just passionate about health and wellness, or maybe you're in the fitness domain, what really sets ITN apart just in a whole different stratosphere, is learning from a myriad of experts on how to actually take this education and to create a sustainable business doing work that you love, how can you actually make a dollar and make a difference.
And if you're passionate about health, but you want to transition that into 101 coaching or group coaching, or writing a bestselling book, or being a television personality, the list goes on and on and on, there's so many different domains that the experts at ITN have done firsthand and taught countless tens of thousands of folks to be able to do these things as well, it's just... Nothing else is even close, if you want 2022 to be the year that you really do tune into your passion or health and wellness and start making a difference and also just up-leveling things, sustaining your own livelihood in a powerful way, and being able just to do things that you enjoy in your life, in a world that is so turbulent, taking ownership of your own time, your own schedule, your own finances, and your own health. This is the time to do it. Go to themodelhealthshow.com/ITN, you could find out more information about the Institute of Transformational Nutrition.
Moving forward here in our compilation, we've got somebody else who's just a powerhouse, she's really again paved her own way, she was able to carve out her own niche within a very crowded field of folks who are financial experts, and she had a traditional education and her life just built up in a certain way very early, but then just came crumbling down and she had to rebuild things, but do this from a place of asking, what does she really want? And to rebuild in a bigger way than she ever had before, to be in this television personality repeatedly featured in places like The Steve Harvey Show, for example, but she's even parlayed that more recently into being just an overall force of empowerment and a voice of inspiration for folks, regardless of if it's in the financial domain or just in life in general, so many wonderful gifts.
I received an overwhelming amount of messages from this episode, I was just blown away, even my team was like this episode just knocked my socks off, and I'm talking about bestselling author and speaker, Patrice Washington, and in this clip, she's going to be sharing with you the importance of breaking free from the idea of accomplishing things by yourself, and also the importance of cleaning up your relationships and cleaning up your environment, so check out this clip from the amazing Patrice Washington.
Patrice Washington: I decided to talk more about people because I think we underestimate the power of people in our lives, I think again, we're kind of taught to just make it happen, and so that feels very individual, it feels very like I'm going to do in my strength, in my power all these things, and we don't realize that greatness cannot be created in isolation, and anything that we want to be great in, it's going to require the support of others, period. It doesn't matter what it is, anything that we want to be great in is going to require the support of others. And in my life, in my career, I know that one of the... The biggest things for me early on is that I didn't know how to ask for help. I think I mentioned that earlier, I didn't know how to ask for support. I used to see it as a sign of weakness. I think many people do, and now we feel like they're so much available to us, we should be able to figure it out, but what I've learned over the last decade or so is that why do you want to figure it out by yourself when there's so many people around you who can help you shorten that learning curve.
I want to get to things sooner, quicker, faster, I'm not trying to work harder than I have to. You know how to do it, hey, I'm just going to ask, and I used to be afraid to ask, but I've built that muscle. At the same time, I've also learned to run any answer through that filter of alignment for myself so that I'm not just taking advice and just immediately applying it, because sometimes you have to learn to reject advice that's not in alignment with your assignment, so although it might have worked well for my mentor, for my coach, for my accountability partner, for my spouse, still has to make sense for me, and I still have to be in touch, in tune enough with myself to make sure that it makes sense, but it doesn't stop me from asking, it doesn't stop me from asking and everything that I've gotten, just think about how I'm here now, I couldn't have pitched myself to be on your show, I really couldn't have just pitched myself all cold and been like, "Hey, I wrote this book, I really love to be on... " Right, because we get pitches all day, every day, but building a relationship with your wife, who I had no idea was your wife, it's just this nice lady...
Shawn Stevenson: Is giving value.
Patrice Washington: That I talk to from time to time, we touch base in the DMs, I had never been to her page, hadn't seen your face at all, I never been to her page, but it was just building relationship, building rapport, and now this person who's book I suggested for a pod Club 'cause I wanted to read it, and I was like, "We're going to read it together." Now, I'm sitting here with you two years later. That has been my experience over and over and over again. So, when people say, "How did you go from sleeping on your brother's couch when you first moved to Atlanta to... " This is years ago, 2009. "To being on the couch with Dr. Oz or with Steve Harvey or with this person?" Never a pitch. Never a pitch. Every single thing that has come has come because of some relationship. And so even when people are like, "How do you make that happen?" If you're doing this, I don't know, 'cause I don't force nothing, I don't have to.
I just have to keep showing up, treating people well, not treating people as if they're your ticket to something, 'cause you know we love that, right? Do you remember when people are like, "Oh my gosh, if I just meet Oprah, my whole life is going to change." And their whole marketing plan, business strategy was to meet Oprah, and meanwhile they neglected all of the people in their sphere of influence, all of the people that they could reach out and touch, they neglected. They didn't respect, we want more clients, but we don't take care of our current clients, we want more opportunities, but we're not really taking care of the ones we have. Why do you want more of that so you can ruin more relationships, so you can leave a string of people out there that can't stand you? Like what's that for?
Shawn Stevenson: Here comes the biz banner everybody.
Patrice Washington: This is the way that I say this, there's always someone watching you who has the power to bless you, but who are they watching you be?
Shawn Stevenson: Alright, that's it. That we're done, we're done. Now, I've got so many other things that... That is powerful. I hope everybody really sits with that one. Hit the little back button and play that again. That is so powerful. I want to ask you about this one because with people you talk about... And this is going to seem captain obvious, but this is the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Are you doing it? Surround yourself with the right people. Talk about that.
Patrice Washington: I think a lot of us have loyalty to relationships that have expired. I think a lot of us romanticize relationships that have run their course, and so we stay loyal to people, whether that be family, friend, or foe, we stay loyal to people that really should not have such proximity to us anymore. And so, when you don't naturally have support, encouragement, whatever it is that you need, you need to go create it, it's your job to go curate the community that you need, we're not all born into it, some people are best friends with their siblings. Wonderful. If you're not, go find your people, and that looks like putting yourself in spaces where people want to speak the same language, or whether that's the language of money or healthy relationships, or healthy eating or whatever, go around people who can speak the language that you want to speak, be what you want to be, it's not enough to be like, "My family doesn't support me." Okay, lots of people come from families that don't support them, so what are you doing about it? Then you go, "Have you invested in a culture mentor? "I'm not paying people for that." "Okay, well, what do you want?"
Where is it going to come from? Because if you don't have it naturally, it's your duty to go and find your people, and I've been finding my people since I was like 19 years old, I would go to just conferences, my friends were not checking for me back then. Right, I was cool. I could party at University of Southern California, I had a wonderful time, and I would go, do you guys want to go to this seminar on stocks and investments? No response, nobody. I had one friend, I went to pick her up and she didn't even answer the door, so I went by myself, and I met my people. I met people since I was 19 years old that I still know to this day, still Facebook friends with. I still have a relationship with. I went and found people who could help me get to my next... And the thing is, you don't always know what next is, you're not going to know until you allow yourself to be exposed. So, if it's not in your environment, you have to put yourself in places where you could be exposed to new ideas, new thoughts, new people, new opportunities, it doesn't happen at the house.
Shawn Stevenson: And speaking of at the house, this gets to the next pillar, which is space. That's another big one. There's so many good nuggets in here with space, one of the things you talk about is... I mean, it's just really simple. Get it together. So, let's talk about space. What do you mean with this one?
Patrice Washington: So, space is about setting up your environment to support you. So, we hear all the time, time is money. We hear that, right? We don't realize how much time we actually waste because our spaces are not set up to support us, so many of us... I know you moved a couple of years ago, cross-country, I moved cross-country, people are moving, they are doing all types of things, and what we do is take things with us from season to season that no longer serve us. And we don't realize the impact that has on our energy, we don't realize how it actually drains us, we don't realize how it blocks us from creativity, because all of that stuff creates an energy, and we think sometimes, I know with my old house in California, but it's beautiful and it's put away neatly, so don't think clutter is like oh, hoarders 'cause that's what we go to like, "Oh, it must be hoarders. It must be awful."
No, it could be neatly packed away, and they can hold and represent trauma and past relationships and past seasons, and all of this stuff that just does not support who you are today or where you want to go, and to get it together, you have to be committed to cleaning it out, because clutter is the physical manifestation of chaos in your mind, clutter is the physical manifestation of chaos in your mind. And so many of us keep asking ourselves the same questions over and over again, and we're spiraling in these cycles of confusion, you're not confused the answer is being presented to you, you can't see it, you just can't see it, you can't receive it yet. And so, cleaning it up... I say this, any area in your life where you're feeling really stuck, I guarantee if you pay close attention, there is physical clutter associated with, if you feel like you have a block in your creativity, in your career, for example, guaranteed there's something in that office that needs to be cleaned up, cleared out, if it's a health and well-being, look at your closet, look at your kitchen cabinets, look at those drawers, you're not clear and free to do what you need to do because you move around letting your energy be zapped. So, you know when you go to look for something and you can't find it, what do you do? You go...
You do that little thing, that little grunt, that little annoying like... Your energy is being zapped. By the time you do that all day, every day, 365 days a year, by the time you keep looking for your keys, your phone, all the stuff you misplaced all day long, over and over again, that's time that you could have used to start your business. That's time that you could have used to come up with a new marketing idea, that's time that you could have used to plot your way to that promotion, that's time that you could have used to really dive in and learn more about investing or whatever it is. Space will block you from creating the wealth that you really desire because it will drain your energy, and we all saw that with this pandemic, when you couldn't go anywhere else, and you had to face that laundry that you didn't fold the last two weeks. When you were stuck at home on lockdown and you're like, "I hate it here, I don't really like this," then everything started getting sold out, people were painting and changing toilets and remodeling kitchens. I know I did it, people were doing everything because you realize I'm in this house and the energy is not right, and I have to work and live and play and do everything I need to do in this space.
Before the pandemic, we ignored it. We didn't pay attention to how much it really drained us, and when we got in that situation, all of a sudden it was like, "Oh my gosh, I have to do something, I have to get on the Zoom call, I better clean up my background, I better add a plant, add something live in here." All of a sudden, we became aware of how much space really impacts us, but it's always had. It's always had an impact; way more than we give it credit.
Shawn Stevenson: There's no way that I cannot include this next expert on this list of inspirational moments from 2021 and the value that this has as we move into 2022, and I'm talking about performance coach and best-selling author, Tim Grover, is a personal trainer for the Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade, the list goes on and on. We're talking about the elite superstars. If we're just talking about competitive nature, if we're talking about resilience, if we're talking about accomplishments, it doesn't get any more remarkable than that, and in this clip, you're going to be learning why it's time for us to shift from getting ready to staying ready, and also the ingredients that enabled Tim to become the go-to personal trainer and coach for Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant, and what you can glean from that, plus why you need to go beyond just learning what to think and learn how to think. Check out this clip from the amazing Tim Grover.
Tim Grover: Always guaranteed, we don't know what it is, but there's always going to be something, but it's just what you just... We spoke about before, we got the show on, you got to be ready before that thing happens, too many people get that... When that event happens, then they try to do everything and it's too late because you don't know what's going to be taken away from you. You have a chance, just like there's a win every single day, you have a chance to see those obstacles, you have a chance to see those... Understand those steps. Those are your wins; those are your wins to be able to adjust to anything that's going to come at you. It's like all my clients used to say, "I practice so hard, so the games are easy." So, if you're constantly practicing every single day, when the next thing comes, it'll be easier, it's not going to be easy, but it'd be much easier to handle than other people who haven't practiced.
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, if anybody knows about that is you. This is real, this is real. So really staying ready, so you don't have to get ready.
Tim Grover: Yeah, exactly. That's the simplest way to put it, that's the simplest way to put it. You can fine-tune, but if you're always... If you're not ready, you're in trouble.
Shawn Stevenson: You know what I really love about you, Tim? Is that you don't sugarcoat things, there's no sunshine and rainbows, there's no... You make it clear that success in winning is within us, it is possible for us, but you also make it clear that most people are not going to do what's necessary.
Tim Grover: They are not going to do what's necessary.
Shawn Stevenson: And so, what for you, enabled you to communicate this so bluntly and so honestly about how difficult winning really is?
Tim Grover: Well, you know what? It's just what you said, everybody looks at the 30 seconds when a champion is standing on getting their medal, whatever it may be. And everybody sees what you said, they see the sprinkles, they see the rainbows, they see the confetti, but what they don't understand what it took to get to that, what it took to get to that 30 second, what it took... Everybody looks at you, "Oh, Shawn you're so healthy." But they don't understand the years and years it took for you to get this healthy and how it's a struggle, as fine-tuned as you are, there are still temptations out there, there are still temptations out there and being able to practice to not to give into those temptations. And the reason I came up with this book, and I wanted not to sugarcoat it because people make winning and success as though it's so easy, and it's not. You see all these people that write these books that say, five steps to greatness, or 10 steps to weight loss or whatever it would be. Boy, do we wish it was that easy. Boy, do I wish it was that easy. Now, I work out enough, and I don't care what shape I'm in, when I got... If you told me right now to go run up and down those flights of stairs, it's difficult. So, when people always say, "These steps, these steps, these steps," you got to understand there are no five steps, there are no 10 steps, those steps are infinite, and they're constantly changing, they're constantly shifting.
You don't know if that step is going to be there, you don't know if it's a right step, you don't know if it's a right step, excuse me, the wrong step, you don't know if it's going to shift on you, you don't know if you're going to step in some quicksand. And then you may climb all the way to the top and find out that's actually your beginning, that's you’re beginning. Like you haven't even started the climb, you're just like... The first infinite steps were just a test to see, "Hey, are you worthy to be in this race of winning?" But people want the easiest way-out and... Listen, we're in a life where convenience sells quick, quick 'cause everybody wants it now. And we have that instant gratification, they want that dopamine hit, they want everything now. That's why health is so difficult for individuals because you can't see the results now, just like your health, your body changes from the inside, it changes from the inside and then your results are on the outside. Same thing with winning, the change start from within, and then winning will notice you on the outside, but everybody wants the other way around. They want the fast cars, they want the watches, they want the shine, they want the shiny stuff, they want all the stuff that you see on IG all the time, but nobody talks about what it takes to get those things consistently. Everybody wants to be in great shape, they want to be healthy, they want to live a healthy lifestyle.
And you and I, being in the fitness business, how many times you get individuals that say this, "I'll do anything," but their definition of anything and your definition of anything...
Shawn Stevenson: Very different, very different.
Tim Grover: Is totally... Like you're not even reading the same book. And then you tell them, "Hey, this is what my definition of everything... " They be like, "I'm not going to do that." That's what this book's about, these are the things that the best of the best that I've known, that I've worked with, that I've spoken to, that I've seen not only in sports but in corporate America, CEOs, this is their language of winning.
Shawn Stevenson: The very first professional athlete that you worked with is Michael Jordan.
Tim Grover: Yes.
Shawn Stevenson: Most dominant player in really all sports, arguably. And my question for you, and I really want to know this myself, what are the ingredients that you had within yourself, within Tim Grover, that puts you in that room? And not only that, not only puts you in the room, but enabled you to add so much to him, to where he was able to take his game to another level?
Tim Grover: So, this is interesting because I went to... I have a master's degree in Exercise Science, my bachelors is in kinesiology. So, when I went to school, everything taught me what to think... All taught me what to think, "This is the way the body works. This is the nutrition plan. Here's a body. This is what's going to happen." I was always an individual that knew how to think, so it wasn't always about what I read, sometimes, you just know, you're just like, "Okay, this just looks right, this just feels the way it is." And when I started to talk to him, and he gave me a lot of things about like, "Okay," he said, "This is what I want to do with my body. This is what I want to do."
And I had never met the guy before and I was telling him, "No," I said, "No, this is the plan we need to go, here it is." And I told him, I said, "Listen, I have no... If you asked me for research," I said, "I have no research on this, I just know this is the right thing to do." And I said, "You got to trust me on this." I just said, "This is not about what to think, this is about how to think." He said, "I want to become... " He goes, I want to become strong, I want to become a better athlete. I want to be able to dish out punishment." So he goes, "I need to get bigger." I was like, "Well, let's address the injuries that you constantly have all the time," I said, "If we can address the groin injuries, if we can address the hamstrings, if we can address the ankles injuries that persist all the time. And we can alleviate those things, you're automatically going to become a better athlete, you are going to be able to be more athletic, you're going to be able to run better, you're going to be able to jump higher."
And when I started the program with him, what I would do is I would say, "Okay, on this side of the body, I want you to do this many reps with this amount of weight, and then on the other side of the body, we're going to do either less reps or more reps with a different set of weights." And he was like, "I thought we were supposed to have equal weights on the side?" Well, I said, "Michael, through all the years, I've been watching you, you're left side dominant, this is the side that you use more, this is what's going to happen, so this is where the imbalance is, we need to focus in on this." I didn't read any books on that, it just made sense to me. You watch NASCAR they constantly go left, left, left, turn left, or... I'm not a pit-crew individual, but common sense tells me that if you're constantly turning left, the tires are not going to wear out the same, they're not going to wear out the same.
So, if you're constantly using one side more than using the other side, that side is going to wear out quicker, that side needs to be treated differently than the other side. I was like, "Sounds good to me." I'm like, "It makes perfect sense." And it worked. So, he gave me the ability, not only to use my education, but also use my instincts, use my trust that... Other things that I felt were just right. And now research later, 10, 20, 30 years later, comes out what I was guessing, or what I knew back then, people are starting to do now. And I said, "Michael, when you play the game, are you always out there thinking?" He goes, "No, I'm very rarely thinking." Exactly, because if you're thinking, you're not in the moment. So, what to think a lot forces you to think all the time, how to think is that you trust yourself, and you need both of them." And that's what allowed me to open up the door and create something with an individual that played on how to think and not what to think.
Shawn Stevenson: That's really, really powerful, Tim. I had on... I don't know if you know Jim Kwik.
Tim Grover: I do know Jim.
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, so he's... One of his big tenets is that in our education system, they teach you what to think and not how to think. And when he said that it just spoke to me so much, and you saying that, reiterating, that's a principle of reality for so many of us, but we don't realize it. So that's one ingredient. You really had this capacity of having awareness of how to think and not just what to think, so that's one ingredient, but what other ingredients? Because I know some folks are... They have aspirations of being in that room, of being in situations where they can collide with greatness, where they can access their own greatness. What was another ingredient that you had that put you in that situation?
Tim Grover: Well, it was all the years of preparation to get to that point. Everybody in life is going to get an opportunity or the opportunity. It's just what you said, are you practicing every single day to make the games easier? When that game comes, are you practicing every single day? I practiced every single day on my craft, tirelessly, endlessly, I did it over and over again. So when that opportunity came, whether it was for 30 minutes or it was for 30 seconds, whatever obstacle was going to be thrown in my way, I was going to win. I was going to win. And people talk about the grind, it's like, oh, so everybody goes through... I went through the grind also, and this is another key, important thing that I put about in winning.
If you constantly grind something, what happens? It turns into dust. So, people always say, "Man, I'm grinding. I'm grinding, I'm grinding." What are you grinding? What are you forming when you grind? What is that end result? So, every time I practiced, every time I won, my grind was for a purpose, it was to form something that was going to get me to the next level, I just wasn't grinding just to grind, just to make... It's a way to sound like, "Man, you're working hard, man, I'm grinding." What are you grinding for? What is the shape that you're trying to take in this grind? Winning wants to see the shape of what you're going to look like, what you're grinding for. When you have a party and people have these ice sculptures, it's a big old brick. You chisel away the things until you get the form that you want. When you're grinding for something, that's what you have to do, you have to grind away the unessential’s to have whatever you're looking, whatever form you are looking for, and that was my practice every single day, so when I got that opportunity to win, I knew exactly what form I was in and what I could deliver.
Shawn Stevenson: Tim Grover is the man who helped Michael Jordan go from this remarkable basketball player, just kind of standout talent who was also getting beat up and beat down repeatedly by the Detroit Pistons among other teams. And MJ was like, "Listen, I need to be able to dish it out. And be able to take the punishment as well, I need to get stronger, I need to become more physically imposing." So, Tim was just like, "You know what, we can get to that, but first we got to sure up the weak spots, we got to make sure that you have the sustainability so that we can then add on that." A lot of us try to attack things at the level of where the symptom might be, where we see the expression of an issue instead of looking at the root cause and firming up the foundation.
One of the other things that Tim did, of course, he had some cutting-edge strategies with training, with exercise, with resistance training, but also, he was a massive proponent of right nutrition and right recovery as well of his elite athletes. And this is a time for us to make sure that we're sheering up our nutrition as we are really in some form of fashion, we are life athletes out here, we're working to be competitive against all of the forces that may seek to oppress us, to hold us down, to keep us in a cognitive prison in the sense, to try to hold us back from our success. Be able to power through that stuff, but also of course, physically, mentally providing that fuel for us to be strong and resilient in an ever increasingly complex world.
So, here's the truth, over the span of recent decades, really over the span of the last century plus, we've seen this degradation taking place, rapid degradation of our soil in which our food is grown. So even if we're eating high quality organic foods, the soil simply does not have the nutrient infusion that it once did. And so, this is where we need to sure things up, of course... Let's make sure that we're eating real whole foods because it's still going to be far superior than the hyper-palatable, fake processed foods that have become the majority of our diet of the average person here in the United States, so already going to be exceeding that. But this is the time to add that extra layer of insurance here, and for me, this is why I'm a huge proponent...
Now, I encourage everybody to get themselves a Green Superfood Concentrate, this is a way to make sure that we're getting our vitamins, minerals, trace minerals, antioxidants, enzymes, but in a way that is coming from real whole food sources versus the synthetic "multivitamin" that just for years have been taking advantage of folks and not really providing that much value. Again, countless people have been taking multi-vitamins over the years, and we still have been in this very terrible state of health, it's not really plugging up these holes and the ship as it might look. We want to start with a real whole food diet, healthy movement, high quality rest, stress management, all the foundational pieces, and then sure things up with real super food concentrates, and so I don't use the term super food lightly in the slightest.
It has to be something that is so far superior to the average food that it can actually put a cape on and get this title for me. And one of those super foods is Spirulina, it's one of the most nutrient-dense foods ever discovered, it's also the most protein dense food ever discovered, it's upwards of about 70% protein by weight, so it's absolutely abundant in amino acids needed to build our neurotransmitters, our hormones, our muscle tissue, our brain cells, the list goes on and on. These amino acids are very, very important, but in addition to that, a study published in the Journal of the Science of Food and Agriculture revealed that just a small amount of Spirulina each day was able to significantly reduce triglycerides and improve the overall cholesterol ratio of study participants during a three-month study period.
In fact, utilizing Spirulina was able to reduce triglycerides by 16.3%. You know that triglycerides, high triglycerides, are a massive indicator of heart disease risk, of heart attack risk. This is something for us to pay more attention to. What else can it do? It's also rich in a very rare nutrient called Phycocyanin. It's been found to help to stimulate the creation of new stem cells, something called Stem Cell Genesis, and stem cells literally become everything that the body needs. So, whether it's new liver cells, new heart cells, new muscle cells, the root of ourselves being birthed in providing this kind of bank of potential cell development, the very root of this is our stem cells.
So again, another reason why it's remarkable, and this is just one of the hallmark ingredients, the Organifi Green Superfood blend, the Organifi Green Juice blend, all organic, cold processed, so you retain the incredible nutrients that are found within the super foods. Another super food that's in there that I don't talk about often, but I absolutely love is Moringa. According to a study published in Frontiers in Pharmacology, this renowned plant used for both food and medicine for thousands of years is clinically proven as an effective treatment for chronic hyperglycemia, cholesterol-related Dyslipidemia, and also has been found to help reduce cardiovascular disease risk. Both of these incredible ingredients are in the Organifi green juice formula, pop over there, check them out, it's organifi.com/model, and you're going to get 20% off their amazing green juice formula and every one of their incredible superfood blends. That's O-R-G-A-N-I-F-I.com/model for 20% off.
Now let's move on to our next incredible segment here in this compilation of inspiration as we head into 2022. This is one of my favorite moments, top five for me, top five favorite moments of the year, this was with the incredible world-renowned motivational speaker and author, Inky Johnson. Inky's story just will blow you away. If you haven't listened to that episode, definitely bookmark that one to go and listen to right after you finish this compilation today. It's just remarkable. He was on his way to being a first-round draft pick in the NFL, finishing out his season in college at Tennessee, and suffered this freak accident, this devastating injury, he almost died, and he lost the use of his arm. It's essentially paralyzed.
He does have some muscle conductivity there, now, some nerve conductivity to where he still has the arm present, but as far as him being able to use his arm would be looked at like a disability, but he's turned this into a superpower and he's become a voice who is out there speaking to all of these college programs, these Major League programs, he is one of the top guys that folks are seeking out to help their players mentality so they could take things up. And we had the honor of having him here on the show. In this clip, he's going to be sharing how cultivating a new mindset when it comes to adversity is a major key, and also, he's going to be talking about trusting the process. Every great person throughout history has had to cultivate a faith that would help to push them forward despite adversity, whether it's a strong faith in their family or support system, or faith in a higher power, or a strong faith themselves to be able to rise to the occasion. So, trusting the process is a key ingredient as we move into 2022. Let's jump to this clip from the remarkable Inky Johnson.
Inky Johnson: I'm so thankful, Shawn, by the way I grew up with the opposition and adversity, even though... That was the best time of my life in terms of my childhood. Even though I had challenges, but I'm so grateful for my mother and the people and the influences, whether it be coaches, uncles, my father, when he came in my life, like nobody ever let me make excuses starting with my mother. And so even if we were going through something, I'll never forget today, my mom told me like, "Hey, Ink, the world don't owe you nothing." I'll never forget the day... Like I have four touchdowns in a game and I'm excited and I get in the car, with my mom, and I'm like, "Man, I just hit them boys with four of them." And that Monday when she was dropping me off, she didn't even make mention of it. It was almost like, "Alright, that was cool. But today when you go back to work, handle your business. Show up. Work hard. You got to prove yourself every day."
And so, my mentality, I never knew how to quit. Like I never knew how to stop because I never had that liberty. And so, when you talk mental toughness, when you talk perseverance, when you talk resilience, I think it's everything. But I think oftentimes when we do sports or when we do extra-curricular, we think it's a separate mentality. We think if I quit when it gets tough in a sport, that's just a sport. No, that's the mentality we're cultivating for life. And I think the edge that I've always had in terms of when it came to opposition in adversity, I understood the mentality that I was cultivating, this is for my life. This is the individual; this is the man that I'm one day going to become. And so, when I would tell a teammate, "Hey, Bro, you can't give up in wind sprints. It's a wind sprint." They would be like, "It's a wind sprint." I'm like, "No, it's a wind sprint." And they're like, "It's a wind sprint." I'm like, "No. That's life." If you quit in a controlled environment and it's a wind sprint, what do you think one day, you're going to do when life punches you in your mouth? You're going to quit.
And so, we got to press forward because of the mentality that we're cultivating, and mental toughness is everything. But understanding that it's not a dual mentality, even if it comes to corporate, our marriage, our relationship with our children, whatever the case may be. Every single day we're cultivating a spirit, and a mentality when it comes to opposition, adversity, and challenges. And I firmly believe if we can find room to be grateful for it, we can extract the lesson from it. If we can extract a lesson from it, we can learn from it. If we can learn from it, we can take it and apply it to every environment we go into, or a person's life that we come in contact with, to serve as a source of value. And so, when I encounter something that I don't like or don't feel good, I always think about it in terms of the ability to learn is a gift, even if pain is our teacher. I had never been so confused in my life. Because I'm the type of person I like to be intentional. I like to try to plan out the next steps and when I can no longer play ball, I'm trying to find purpose. So, I'm just trying to plan it out.
"Alright, I can't play, I'm going to coach." And the creator was like, "No, bro, like you don't get it. Let go. Let go of the wheel now. You've been trying to control things too much. Like are you not aware you planned out from seven until 20 years old to make it to the NFL, and it still didn't happen? Like is that not confirmation to let go of the wheel. Ain't you still trying to plan stuff?" And I was at a point in my life, Shawn, to where I had just moved back to Atlanta. And I was two blocks away from where I grew up in a two-bed room with 14 people. And I couldn't understand how my life had taken me, and the creator had taken me from that two-bedroom home with 14 people to the University of Tennessee, eating steak and shrimp, pre-game, all the resources in the world, eight games away from the NFL, career ending injury to bring me right back to the same neighborhood, two blocks away to my wife's grandmother's home? And my daughter sleeping in a wagon that somebody bought her for her birthday. Like, I'm like, "Man, I went through all that to come right back? Like why did you even take me there?"
I couldn't understand it. But my whole life, I felt as if the creator had a plan for me. I felt as if, "Man, I'm going to be the one... God's going to do something special with my life." That's why I went back to my high school. It wasn't just off my belief, I felt as if, "Man, the creator got something for me, man. I'm going to be the one in my family... Like, God got me, man." And that was the first time I felt like, "God are you still... Do you still hear me, man? Like, are you still rocking with me, right?" Like, I know this past year and a half some people probably felt like, "Man... " Like, "God... " Like, "Are you still... Are you still there?" Like I had never felt like that before. And so I had just finished my book, my autobiography. And I wrote it because I'm a journal... I journal a lot, but I wrote it because my grandmother... I wanted to get it to my grandmother... It was something big... And that was the only thing I had. And I was like... I was getting up every day, Shawn, and I would go to different places in that land and try to get a job.
People would just say a different thing. "Ah... " Over-qualified, this, that. And I was thinking like, maybe they see my arm. It's cool, I get it. And I get up one day and I look at my wife, and she was a teacher at the time, and she was getting dressed. And my wife had taught for 11 years. And she say, "How are you doing?" And I was like, "Babe, I'm about to go meet Oprah." And she was like, "Ink, you know Oprah?" And my wife... I knew even her whole life. And I was like, "No." And she was like, "Do you know anybody at the studio, Harpo?" I was like, "No." And she was like, "Are you sure about this?" And I was like, "Yes, ma'am." And she was like, "Go for it." And I took off man. Driving... I get to Chattanooga, I call my buddy Jeff, who's an attorney. Jeff, picks up, and I'm like, "Jeff, I'm about to go meet Oprah." And Jeff was like, "Ink, I know how ambitious you are. Hang up the phone. Call me back when you get to Knoxville. The chances of that happening are slim to none. I don't want you to be too disappointed."
I call him when I get to Knoxy. He picks up. He says, "You're still going, aren't you?" I was like, "Yeah." He was like, "Pick me up. I'm going to ride with you." We get to Chicago and Jeff pays for us room. The next morning, I get up. We go over to Harpo. This is when her last shows were happening. And I get out and Jeff was like, "Man, I'm going to up the street to this little shop. I'll see you in a minute. I'm sure this won't be long." And so, it was just people outside the building. And Shawn, I kid you not. I was just walking with a book, a big suit, and whenever I would see a door open, I would just run over to the door. "Hey, I'm Inky Johnson. I drove up from Atlanta. I want to give Oprah my book." And it was, "Hey man, get out of here. We don't do that, man." And I'm like, "Man, y'all rude. I thought y'all give away cars, man. And I've got a book." And they were just doing their job... And I got so discouraged me. And everybody had went in for the show. And I sit down on the sidewalk with a guy... He looked to be homeless. And I said, "Hey man, how are you doing?" And he was like, "I'm great." And he was like, "How are you?"
I was like, "Man, I've seen better days." The irony of the situation. And I look up and coming down the sidewalk was Oprah and her security guard. And I get up and I start walking toward them. And I'm like, "I'm going to just take my shot." And surely, I'm thinking security is going to come up and move me out of the way. I'm going to still take my shot. And as I'm getting closer, they're getting closer. And they get like right in front of me. And I was like, "Hey, I'm Inky Johnson. I drove up from Atlanta. I just want to give you, my book." And she took the book, and she grabbed my suit, and she shook it and she's like, "Nice, suit." I think she was trying to see if I had something in it. I just had on a plain old black suit or whatever. And I was like, "Thank you." I was like, "Do you mind, I want to take a picture with you." Like, "Sure." And we took a picture. She was like, "I've got to get in and do my show." And so, I was like, "Thank you." And so, as I was walking off her security guard say, "Hey, little man, come here." And I start coming back over to him. And he was like, "I'm not saying anything is going to come of that." He was like, "I just want you to know what just happened never happens."
He was like, "Usually she'll tell me, 'Hey go move him out of the way.' Or they'll send it somewhere, and she'll never get it. I'm not saying you're going to be on the book club. I'm not saying any of that. I just want you to know the interaction you just had, never happens." And I was like, "Thank you so much, man." And I go to walk off and I got the picture... I put it up on Facebook, send it to family, friends. Everybody's hitting me like, "Bro, you met Oprah, you're going to be in a show?" Right... You're going to be on the book club. I was like, "I don't know, man. I don't care." It was like, "What do you mean, you don't know, you don't care?" I was like, "That moment wasn't about that for me." It was like, "What was it about?" I was like, "Bro, I needed to know God was still walking with me." And so, for me, as great as the picture was, as great as the encounter was, and nothing came of it... In terms of Oprah, nothing came of it. No book club, no show, but everything came of it. My belief... My faith was fortified. I said in Atlanta, Georgia. "Alright, God, I'm going to see. I'm going to leave Atlanta and go to Chicago to try to meet one of the most prominent people in the world."... That's how crazy my faith was. That's how much I believed in the creator. Are you still listening to me? I think you are. But let's see."
"That's how insane my faith is... I'm going to go to Chicago and say, I'm meeting Oprah. Everybody's going to tell me, don't go. Don't do it. But I trust you enough, and I think you still hear me. Let's do it." And I went and he put me front and center and put the book in her hand and took a picture with her. And so, when I walked off, I was like, "God, let's go. We can conquer the world, man. Let's go." That was the most powerful moment in my life, because I was about to lose hope, man, because my conditions and my circumstances, they didn't reflect the picture that I saw from my life.
Shawn Stevenson: And running the anchor today in this inspiration compilation as we move into 2022, is somebody who was actually a track star when she was in high school. But today she's much more well-known for being a bestselling author. New York Times bestselling author and one of the greatest speakers in the world today. I'm talking about Lisa Nichols. Lisa is one of my all-time favorite people as well. When we get together, magic happens, it's just remarkable... I've had the great honor of doing some work for her and her programs as well, and it just always... It just really fills me up to be able to spend time with her and to be able to glean some of the inspiration and wisdom that... Again, there are very few people on the planet who's made the impact that she has coming from the place that she comes from. And so, in this clip, she's going to be sharing with you the critical distinction of keeping score versus keeping track, and a powerful way to reframe things to take control of your time in this new year and beyond. Check out this clip, with New York Times bestselling author, Lisa Nichols.
Lisa Nichols: So, number one, recognize if you're keeping score or you're keeping track. Keeping score... Let me tell you the distinction. Keeping score is collecting evidence on why it won't work in your future. And many people are making decisions about their future, business, relationship, friendship, health, and wellness based on keeping score. They're collecting evidence on why it won't work. Why it's hard... I might get hurt. I've tried diets before, and they didn't work. So, you're collecting evidence on why it won't work. Keeping track... Notice this distinction... It's super important to notice this distinction. Keeping score is collecting evidence on why it won't work, keeping track is taking notes of what path landed you where... It's just what path landed you where. When I eat at night after 10:00 I have a harder time losing weight or releasing weight. When I go to sleep after midnight... This is me all the time... But I went to bed early last night, I was happy, because when I got a bed after midnight, it impacts how I spring into my next day. Now, I used to stay up late at night because it was quiet and my brain could think and I could write, but what I realized is when I keep track of what happens the next day, I need to get in bed earlier and just ask everyone to give me, an hour of quiet time at 9 o'clock versus waiting to their asleep at midnight. That's keeping track.
Keeping track is actually looking at where a path has led you in the past. In relationships... If you rush into relationship, 'cause you feel all those endorphins, and you feel the exchange, but you notice that you've done that in the past and then it ended up... You didn't have a friendship... A relationship as a friendship expanded. Ah... It took me a while to learn that. Like hello... Like I don't care how fine they are, I don't care how sexy they are, I don't care how they are... And I don't even care how ready they are... Keeping track shows me that in order for me to have a great relationship I have to first, have a great friendship. Track only taught me that. Keeping score would say, "I can't trust them. They're no good. They hurt me." That's keeping score and collecting evidence on why it won't work. And so that's the distinction. And oftentimes, Shawn, most people are collecting evidence and keeping score, then they are keeping track.
Shawn Stevenson: I cannot let you go without asking you these two things. So, number one, what you're talking about right now requires some time and energy, to work on yourself, to develop that self-love and self-care... In my clinical practice, that was the number one reason people would give for not taking care of themselves, not exercising, whatever the case might be... I don't have the time. So can you speak to that. What advice can you give for folks who are in that paradigm that they don't have the time, and they're seeing that as the challenge from getting from where they are to where they want to be.
Lisa Nichols: I'm going to ask you a question. Now, I'm going to say this in love from a woman who spent 19 years, over 210 pounds... Five years over 220. So, I don't say it from a place of judgment. I didn't even know clavicles existed until... I was like, "Clava who? Clava what? Clava where?" That's this little part right here. I heard it's supposed to hold a cup of water when you're doing good... But anyway, I'm going to ask you this, when you say you don't have enough time. I'm going to say, "You know tomorrow, you're going to get 24 hours in the day. You know that... You know, you're not going to get 23. You know you won't get 25. So, my question to you sister, my question to your brother is, when will you love you enough to give yourself just one of the 24?" You don't run out of time; you simply allocated all your time to someone that you put in front of you... I'm going to follow it with this statement, and I say it in love. You will always, as a leader, as a game changer, as a gladiator, you will always have a long line of people waiting to be served by you. You will always.
People will knock down your door to get in your line... Here is my question, when will you put yourself at the front of your own line? And I say that because it took a doctor telling me... I was in Utah. My doctor called me on Zoom and said, "You are morbidly obese, you're over 220 pounds, you have severe sleep apnea, and you travel over 258 days out the year. And when other people go to work to sit down to work, you go to work and get on stage and push out the little energy that you have from your sleep-deprived body. Lisa, it's not a matter of if you're going to have a heart attack, it's a matter of when will you have it and where will you be." The doctor went on to say, "Will you be on stage in front of your audience? Will you be in the air on a plane? Will you be at home in front of your son, Jelani? Or will you be in a hotel room by yourself?" I thought she was cruel. I thought she was cruel to make me have that kind of fear. And then she followed it with this... She said, "The only reason why I'm saying this to you this way, is because I've sat in your audience and I've experienced your gift, and I need to disrupt you enough to be radical."
"And so, I'm not disrupting you or poking you for the sake of doing it. It's because someone is ready to be blessed by your gift. Someone is ready to be touched by your soul. Someone's ready... And until you handle the self-care, until you prioritize you, until you move to the front of your own line, the way I had to do, you won't be able to give the world the all of you that you know you're to do." And my grandmother just transitioned. And my grandmother would say, "Baby, when you get my age... " She was 92 years and nine months when she transitioned... Laid down to rest in peace. And she's resting in peace, 'cause she played full out. She said, "Baby, when you get my age, you're supposed to sit in your favorite rocking chair... " And I bought granny a good rocking chair y'all. And you're supposed to share the stories of your life. She said, "But baby, when you're your age, you're supposed to do one thing: Do everything in your power to make sure that the story is going to be good to share."
You are protecting your future memories of yourself. Me being radical about my health, you getting radical about your health, you becoming non-negotiable about your health, is about protecting your future memories about yourself. That when you sit in that rocking chair, you want to look back and say, "I played full out for me first, and then I served everybody else from my overflow." That's your job. That every day, that's your job. Every day, that's your job. And allow us to witness and be the beneficiaries of you playing full life.
Shawn Stevenson: Thank you so much for tuning in to the show today. I hope you got a lot of value out of this. This is something to share with the people that you care about. You can share this out on social media, and of course you can tag me. I'm @shawnmodel on Instagram and Twitter. Just take a screenshot of the episode and share it out. And also, of course, you could send this directly from the podcast app that you're listening on. And of course, you could send this directly as a text message to folks. You can just send the link directly to folks and share the inspiration. Listen... And when I say that 2022 is going to be the most remarkable year for The Model Health Show, and our powerful community, this is not an exaggeration. We've got some of the most remarkable masterclasses lined up and world-changing guests as well. So be ready. We've got a great year ahead of us. Take what you learn today, apply it in your life, and let's keep this momentum rolling. Take care. Have an amazing day and I'll talk with you soon.
And for more after the show, make sure to head over to themodelhealthshow.com. That's where you can find all of the show notes, you could find transcriptions, videos for each episode, and if you got a comment, you can leave me a comment there as well. And please make sure to head over to iTunes and leave us a rating to let everybody know that the show is awesome. And I appreciate that so much. And take care. I promise to keep giving you more powerful, empowering, great content to help you transform your life. Thanks for tuning in.
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