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TMHS 520: The 6 Pillars Of Wealth – With Guest Patrice Washington
“The first wealth is health.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
What does it mean to you to be wealthy? For many people, they might think about specific numbers in their bank account or a goal to have a certain car. But true wealth is actually much more holistic than that. Today’s guest is here to share powerful insights on redefining wealth.
Our special guest today is the captivating, uplifting, Patrice Washington. She is a best-selling author, dynamic speaker, and a personal finance expert who is passionate about teaching others how to overcome the mental hurdles that block them from creating wealth. On this episode of The Model Health Show, Patrice is sharing her profound Pillars of Wealth and how you can redefine wealth and live with purpose.
Now more than ever is a time for us to focus on real health, find purpose, and live intentionally. It is also a time for you to tap into your unique gifts, to show up authentically, and to live an empowered, fulfilling life. I hope this interview with Patrice Washington will inspire you to redefine success and wealth in a way that resonates with you. Enjoy!
In this episode you’ll discover:
- What the true definition of wealth is.
- The difference between knowledge and wisdom.
- How finances and well-being are connected.
- What well-being welfare is.
- The power of going the heck to sleep.
- Why having the support of others is the key to greatness.
- How to cultivate an encouraging community.
- The importance of setting up your environment to support you.
- Why clutter will drain your energy.
- How the pandemic made us tune into the importance of having a healthy environment.
- What Money Monday is, and why you should implement it into your family’s routine.
- The definition of spiritual malnutrition.
- Why unnecessary spending is an ineffective way of trying to fill a void.
- The difference between having a purpose and having passion.
- How to find a career that aligns with your gifts.
- What it means to treat yourself as the CEO of your life.
Items mentioned in this episode include:
- Organifi.com/Model — Use the coupon code MODEL for 20% off!
- Beekeepersnaturals.com/model — Get 15% off raw honey & other natural remedies!
- Redefine Wealth for Yourself by Patrice Washington
- The Wealth Choice by Dennis Kimbro
- The Truth About Wealth – Free Download
- Connect with Patrice Washington Website / Podcast / Instagram
Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Model Health Show. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute and leave a quick rating and review of the show on Apple Podcast by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!
SHAWN STEVENSON: Welcome to The Model Health Show. This is fitness and nutrition expert, Shawn Stevenson, and I'm so grateful for you tuning in with me today. You are so remarkable, humans are amazing, but I want you to know that you are remarkable. And right now, this is a time where we're receiving a lot of messages that say that you're other than, that put people into a victim mentality, that make us feel disempowered, that put us into fear when in reality we are more capable than we realize to create the life that we desire and deserve. And so, this is why I'm striving so passionately to bring forth some of the greatest teachers, some the most powerful voices to help you to remind you of how powerful you are. And not just that, not just the empowerment, but the real-world practical strategies. So, really, really excited about this episode, because this is another one for my adventures as an AT alien, down in Atlanta, so I'm bringing back these wonderful gifts for you. So, really, really excited about this.
And speaking of creating the life that you desire and deserve, I'm doing a special live meet-up in just a few days, you could tune in from anywhere, just a few days away. We're going to be talking about this time right now where, yes, we're faced with immense challenges, but there is also a massive opportunity for us to really redefine what success looks like, and really what we're going to be talking about today, redefining what success looks like and creating the life that we truly want and doing work that we truly love. So, make sure that you come and hang out with me, again, it's live, coming up here in just a few days. Go to themodelhealthshow.com/takecontrol, alright, themodelhealthshow.com/takecontrol, because this is the time for us to take control of our minds, take control of our health and take control of the empowerment and service that we're providing to the world and being able to share our gifts because the world needs it more than ever.
Now, when I'm on the road, when I'm traveling to speak at events and to record shows at these different locations, I'm making sure, of course, that I'm optimizing my nutrition. I want optimal brain and physical performance no matter where I'm at, no matter what the conditions. And so, this is why simple things like making sure that I'm getting all my micronutrient needs met is of the utmost importance. Now, there was a time when I was in my university setting, being taught by my professors, that folks if we're working with patients to make sure that everybody's getting a multivitamin, right? They're getting on a multivitamin, which are the vast majority of the time synthetic versions of these micronutrients coupled with binders and fillers and all these unnecessary things, which if you look at the data, most folks aren't really even extracting very many benefits from these conventional multivitamins. What you want to do is get real whole food concentrates, superfood concentrates with foods that have a clinically proven benefit.
So, superfoods like spirulina, that has a dense source of chlorophyll, magnesium, vitamin A, the list goes on and on, but rare nutrients like phycocyanin, that's proven to increase something called Stem Cell Genesis, which is the creation of new stem cells in the human body, which there are very few things ever discovered that are able to do that. Plus, this is the most protein-dense superfood ever discovered. Most protein-dense food ever discovered, period. It's 71% protein by weight. Absolutely abundant in amino acids, which are the building blocks for every cell in our bodies. Super powerful stuff, coupled that with Chlorella, which is another incredibly dense source of magnesium, chlorophyll, Chlorella growth factor, its ability to help to modulate chelation, to help the body to eliminate heavy metals and toxicity, couple that with Ashwagandha, couple that with coconut water, and put this together in a formula with some other superfoods in a green juice concentrate that tastes amazing, and that's what you got with the green juice formula from Organifi.
Go to organifi.com/model. That's O-R-G-A-N-I-F-I.com/model. You get 20% off their amazing green juice formula. Alright, this is kid-tested, Mom and Dad approved. This is a great way to actually flood ourselves with superfood Nutrition, organic, cold temperature processed without any nefarious binders or fillers, plus it's easy to travel with their incredible green juice go-packs, they also have go-packs for their red juice formula. Something I'll always bring with me when I'm on the road traveling, go to organifi.com/model for 20% off, and now let's get to the Apple Podcast review of the week.
ITUNES REVIEW: Another five-star review titled “amazing podcast for the health-conscious” by Vegan Egan. “You don't come across people like Shawn too often in the health and fitness space. Very objective, knowledgeable, and practical. Thank you for all that you do.”
SHAWN STEVENSON: I appreciate you so much for leaving me that review over on Apple Podcast. Listen, if you got to do so, hop over to Apple podcast and leave a review for the Model Health Show. It really means a lot. And on that note, let's get to our special guest, star of the day. Our guest today is Patrice Washington, and she's an award-winning author, speaker, coach, and media personality, and she teaches a multifaceted proven approach to redefining and creating wealth. She's been a featured expert on The Steve Harvey Show, Dr. Oz, Cosmopolitan, Essence, Success Magazine, and many other media outlets. And now she's here on the Model Health Show to share her wisdom, let's jump into this conversation with the amazing Patrice Washington. Alright, Patrice Washington, welcome to The Model Health Show.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Oh, thanks for having me.
SHAWN STEVENSON: It's my pleasure, it's my pleasure. We've had some adventures already before we even got started. My wife actually just left the studio, you guys literally were dressed the same, which is kind of eerie, you know?
PATRICE WASHINGTON: It was a little spooky.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Yeah, I mean...
PATRICE WASHINGTON: We look like a group though, that's appropriate for where we are, a little singing group. Although I can't sing, it's not my ministry, but I can look like.
SHAWN STEVENSON: There's a booth right there If you guys want to lay out some vocals. Hey listen, I don't know if you remember from American Idol, I think it was William Hung, but it was this guy who, you know, he got rejected from the show, of course, then he went on to have this best-selling song and it was honestly terrible.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Right.
SHAWN STEVENSON: But there was beauty within the terrible, you know what I mean? So, there's a booth right there. Actually, I didn't tell you this, that's a surprise with The Model Health Show today, after we're done, you're laying down some vocals.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: I think that I should stick to what I'm presently doing.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Yeah. I think too.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: I think that'd be the best use of my time.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Yeah. But the options on the table. So right now, obviously, it's a big-time of challenge, it's a big-time of change for a lot of people, but I also believe it's a great time of opportunity, and you've been teaching people about redefining wealth, so, what does that mean?
PATRICE WASHINGTON: For me, redefining wealth is not succumbing to what culture says wealth is. So, for many of us, we've grown up with this idea that wealth is just chasing money and material possessions, right? We were taught growing up, oh, you go to school, you get a good, good grades, so you can go to college and get a good job and live this American dream and have the house and the two cars, right? And so, people have been for years just trying to go for bigger and better and bolder, but we don't really lean into what the true definition of wealth is, right? That's the very surface-level definition, money, and material possessions. But for me, when I went through my season of pivoting and changing and going from this seven-figure business I started out of college to literally scraping up change in the middle of the recession, losing everything, home foreclosed, cars repossessed, applying for welfare. When I was at my lowest point, money and material possessions was not the thing that I was most focused on, it was becoming well again.
Because when you have money challenges, it's not just the money, it's never just the money, there are so many other things, and so, I have what I call my bathroom floor moment. I don't know if you've ever had a good ugly cry, Shawn. I don't know, men, don't always talk about it, but a good... Oh my gosh, what is happening? This is not what I thought it would be. I've been a good person, I did all the things, I tried to live my life in integrity, and still, here I am chasing the power man, trying to ask him to put the lights back on or my baby's milk is going to spoil, that's where I was. And this is actually March 2009. I got in the mirror, and I was like, God, why me? Why me? I shouldn't be here; I did all the things they said to do. I should be straight, I should have money in the bank and be good, I shouldn't be coming home to eviction notices in this teeny-tiny apartment in the hood. This is not what I bargained for. And God why me turned into a little sniffle and then it turned into just plain old crying, weeping, and then it turned into that that ugly cry, you know?
SHAWN STEVENSON: Yeah.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: That ugly cry where you can't even recognize yourself anymore, and then it turned into me being on my knees with my forehead on the linoleum in fetal position, just straight out bawling. And that's when I heard what I call the Holy Spirit, but like a still small voice that was like, Get your Bible. And I ended up grabbing my Bible, and what I found was this Scripture, it was Proverbs 17:16, and it said, what good is money in the hands of a fool if they have no desire to seek wisdom? What good is money in the hands of a fool if they had no desire to seek wisdom? And that was the first time that it hit me, right? I've been really good at chasing the way I was taught to chase.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Checking all the boxes.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: I've been really good at getting the certification. I was a real estate and mortgage broker at 21, that's when I passed the exam, I got introduced to real estate at 19. I had a seven-figure business by 25. So, I had gotten really good at like, oh, I'm smart, but I confused knowledge with wisdom, and knowledge is information, gathering information, which a lot of us are good at. We listen to podcasts, we got books, we got a Google, so we're good at that, but we don't necessarily have wisdom, which is the application. So here I am after all these things, bathroom floor, bawling and snorting and crying saying, God, why me? And that was the first time he hit me. I've been really at pursuing wealth, money from this perspective, but there's got to be more. So, I dug a little deeper, and it was actually the next day, I dug a little deeper and I was like, Well, what's wealth really? And I saw money and material possessions first, and then I kept going, but would it like... Go deeper, go deeper.
When you dig really deep, you'll finally get to the fact that the 12th-century definition of wealth was the condition of well-being. It's never money, to begin with, it was never all the things that we associate with wealth, and that started my journey. That was March 9th, 2009. And that started the journey for me wanting to get out here and just try to teach people that this journey can't just be about chasing money, because a lot of people, including myself have money, but we had no peace, I didn't have joy, I had no fulfillment. My relationships were in a shamble, there were a lot of other things that were wrong with my life, but it looked good, 'cause I was chasing money. No, that can't be it.
SHAWN STEVENSON: It is in the word wealth, well, well, it's in the word, and it's so powerful. And because of that experience, this is something that's a recurring theme with some of the most remarkable people that a lot of us aspire towards and want to learn from, is that these things happen, this moment happens where life was going in one direction, and then the entire thing gets turned upside down or something unexpected happens, and so, I'm so grateful to have you here right now and everything really aligned itself. My wife has been actually telling me about you for some time like, you have no idea. You have no idea.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Well, I have to tell you...
SHAWN STEVENSON: Plus, you guys are dressed the same.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: But you don't know, in 2019, I actually discovered Sleep Smarter, and because the first pillar at Redefining Wealth is the fit pillar, I actually had hundreds of people read that book with me in Patrice's Pod club in a Facebook group, had no idea that my friend on Instagram was even your wife. I never made the connection. She just made the connection for me recently. So I do think it's just divine that things align when they should.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Yeah, that's powerful. That's powerful. And speaking of powerful, again, a lot of people's lives, they're experiencing that moment right now where an unexpected thing is happening, and I love the fact... And I was just sharing this with her as I was going through your book, I mean, truly, like, everything is so pun intended on the money, like, it's literally on the money, because you're breaking down what wealth really is. And so, I want to go through some of this, and you have the six pillars of wealth, right? And the first one, just right out the gate, I was like, ah, I love her, where the first pillar is fit.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Yeah.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Why is that?
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Becoming your best self, that's what fit is about. Again, we live in a culture that has us so consumed with this idea of chasing money, so we team no sleep, we're hustle and grind, Who's up at 3:00 AM? I don't... You know? I haven't slept in days. We wear exhaustion like a badge of honor, like that proves that you're really about your business or you're really doing something. And I had my wake-up call when I was actually on a book tour years ago, and I was praying all the time, Shawn, Lord, enlarge my territory. Enlarge my territory. I'm going to go all over the world, right? The truth is, I could barely breathe in my townhome at the time. I couldn't really breathe, walking up and down the stairs, I was getting short of breath, but I ignored it. I played it to the left like it was no big deal, because hey, I'm out here moving in purpose and I'm doing my thing and I'm blessing the people, and I got to go. And then I got food poisoning and ended up in the emergency room, and when the guy came in, when the doctor came in after they got me the fluids and all this stuff, he's like, you know, you have more problems than just food poisoning. And I felt some kind of way. I was like, Sir, that is unkind to say to a woman of a certain age, right? He's like, you know, your hemoglobin levels are really low, a woman of child-bearing age should have them like, 12 and up, you're in the 4s, that means you don't have enough blood to even really be...
SHAWN STEVENSON: Right. You could die if you get cut.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: You could die if you got in a car accident right now, that's what he told me. He said if you were any older, you would be getting a blood transfusion now, but I'm going to trust you to leave here and make an appointment with the hematologist, which I did. He said, But have you been paying attention to the symptoms? What symptoms? Are you exhausted all the time? Oh yeah, 'cause I'm on my hustle and grind. Of course, I am, like that's what we do, right? I've been everywhere. Of course, I'm exhausted. That's normal. He started going down the list. Shortness of breath. Oh, that's what that was? He's like, you are running on fumes. You cannot live like this. You're only in your early 30s, you should not be like this. And it was a wake-up call, right? Because if my daughter or my husband had any of those symptoms, I would be calling everybody, I would at least be on WebMD, you know? I'm going to be trying to figure out what's going on. But because it was me, I did what a lot of women do, I just kept brushing it off, it's good, I'm fine, oh, I need to work out a little harder.
Oh, I'll be good. As long as I fit in my dress, I'm fine. Because, you know, I thought, oh, you're a certain way, that the number on the scale meant something. No, the number on the scale looked okay, but I was completely unhealthy, right? And what good is it for you to have a vision and not protect the vessel? We all get one vessel in order to execute the vision that we have for our lives, and most of us are working towards prescriptions we can't pronounce. That's what we're really working for. You think you're working for the house, the car, no, you're working for prescriptions you won't even be able to pronounce. Is that what the goal is? So, there is no wealth without health, and we hear that, but we don't act like it. We don't take care of ourselves; we don't honor and respect our temple. We do none of that. We are some, ah I really drink water. What? You're 40. What do you mean, right?
SHAWN STEVENSON: You're not a child.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Right? You know...
SHAWN STEVENSON: It's a badge of honor.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: I believe it's the first step, not just physically, but also mentally, that's another big thing we talk about in Redefining Wealth because I think that life is life. It's not a matter of if it's when something's going to come like things don't always pan out the way that we want. And a lot of us don't realize that we're cutting ourselves short, mostly because of childhood trauma that's going unchecked. And a young lady said this, Monique coming on my podcast, she said, your business is only going to grow to the extent you're willing to heal. And a lot of us are trying to force and manipulate our way to success, but the truth is, you're not even ready to receive it. You don't have the mental capacity to actually receive and sustain what you're praying for, right? Or what you really desire. And in my story, I don't know if you've read this part yet Shawn, but I grew up as the ugly duckling, like, feeling really insecure about my looks, always being teased. Oh, you're too black, your lips are too big, your cheeks are too this, your eyes are weird. Too tall, too skinny. Always something.
And not just being teased by people at school. This was by also people in my family. This was going on in my household, right? So, I grew up slouching, tucking my lips in, squinting, like, not really wanting to be seen, so all of my worth and validation came from being smart. So, I became addicted to achievement. Like, I may not be cute, but I'm going to win the Spelling Bee, be clear, right? I may not be the pretty one, but I'm going to be the class president. So, I grew up that way. I didn't even realize until I was in my early 20s and I started therapy, like how detrimental that was, how much that kept me from showing up in certain spaces to the capacity that I was actually able, right? And I say that because for someone who couldn't look in the mirror without cringing until they were 25 years old, could not look in the mirror straight on without cringing and wishing I look like someone else until I was 25 years old, I was that person longer than I've been this person, right? And I say that because when I look at my life today and I look at my face on all these books, and I look at all the national television and all the stages and thousands of people served, how could I be this person if I did not get support with that childhood trauma? How could I be this person?
So, we might have the experience, the education, like the desire to do these great things, but at the end of the day, if we're dealing with some unresolved issues and some limiting beliefs, it's always going to stop us from going as far as we really can go. And I'm so grateful that at 22 I started therapy because there's no way I could sit see here at 40 and do the work that I do now.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Yeah, you probably... Prior to it, you didn't make that connection. And it was so many of us, we are running on autopilot these programs that we pick up from our childhood and we have no idea. Basically, we're 30-year-olds operating with the six-year-old program, the program of a kindergartener that you picked up. And so being able to traverse that landscape and actually, a beautiful part is with somebody's beautiful as yourself, turning that into a gift in a sense, and that's the price there. So, thank you for sharing that. It's so funny, this is the quote that I wrote down from your book, it says, "If you neglect your mental and emotional well-being now, you'll make the journey much harder than it has to be." And this is something that I've been talking about for a long time. Part of the reason I do this work is that in a poor state of health, we can absolutely achieve amazing things, we can absolutely be compassion and understanding in a time of much conflict in our world, you could, if you're not in a good state of health, be patient with somebody. It's just harder.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Absolutely.
SHAWN STEVENSON: It makes everything infinitely more difficult when we don't feel well, and as a matter of fact, when you get to a certain level of not feeling well, nothing else matters. And so this is a big reason why I do this work, and even in my latest book, in Eat Smarter, there's an entire section dedicated to getting ourselves more physically healthy so we can be better humans and solve some of these issues. And so, I love that so much, and when I saw that aspect of your book and another piece was understanding that you might be asking for, praying for this certain gift or this certain life to take place, but are you ready? Do you have the energy to do the thing that you say you want to do, do you have the wattage available, the power to hold that kind of force?
PATRICE WASHINGTON: 'Cause I don't think we realize what it actually takes, right? People see your success, but they don't understand the magnitude of the sacrifice in a lot of ways that it takes to really live that out, so an example, for me, I just spoke at an event recently, right? I'm like the last speaker standing, talking to everyone, taking pictures with everyone, hugging everyone. Purpose requires me to be physically well. If you're going to show up for people and pour into them to that magnitude and stand there and allow them to give back to you because people come up to you with all the stories. I mean, and there it is a lot of stories. By the time you've hugged and talk to hundreds of people, you've received so much. If I wasn't mentally or physically well, I wouldn't be equipped to serve at the level that I've been called to serve. I've never been one of those speakers that want to hide out from the people after or I want to just sit there and sign books and not talk to people. No, I like to connect. That's a part of how I'm called to serve. So that means that I need to take care of my body.
That means I have to rest; it means I have to be physically well in order to show up and be that person. You can't want to have all this attention and then you don't want to talk to people or you like, "No, no. What do you want?" Right? It doesn't go together, but that's a part of making sure that you're physically and mentally well so that you can actually operate at the level that you feel like you should.
SHAWN STEVENSON: So good, so good. So, I want to ask you about a couple of these pieces, being that you have to be physically prepared to execute on the opportunities you say you want. Let's talk about this term, you talk get off well-being welfare. What does that mean?
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Yeah. Well-being welfare. Mikki Taylor from Essence magazine taught me about that. And well-being welfare is this idea that you only take care of yourself when somebody else makes it available to you. So, for example, I know people where they'll only get a massage if someone gives them a massage certificate. No, ma'am, you are uptight, stressed, pressed, stressing your family out, you need this. This is not a matter of it being a luxury, this is something that would allow you to really care for self, and people see it as like, "I can't waste money on that." It's not a waste of money. Are you a waste of money? Is your well-being a waste of money, is your self-care a waste of money? Why is everything else more worthy than that? Why can you find the money to get your kid another pair of shoes, but you can't find the money to do something that will help you become well or stay well? So, you see people forgoing a gym membership, 'cause gym memberships are stupid, how? Even if you only show up every other day, it can't be worse than you doing nothing at all, but that's an investment in you, right?
So, Mikki Taylor says, a lot of women operate from well-being welfare, we are waiting for someone to give us a pass for our birthday, for Mother's Day, or for some other event, and now we'll do something to take care of ourselves. No, my well-being is first, I'm taking care of myself every month, if not every week, if possible, because the only way that I can show up and operate in purpose, the way that I desire, is to be well. So why is that not first on the list? I've been on welfare, I'm not going to be on well-being welfare too.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Me too. Yes. Yes, I get it. Listen, I really want everybody listening to really imbibe this message. I think it's one of the most important tenets for success in life but also just fulfillment or basic levels of connection with other humans. It seems a little counter-intuitive that you have to take care of yourself first, and so often as you know, the tendency is more for women, the tendency is more for mothers to that thing, they'll put themselves on that wellness welfare, well-being welfare. Because I'll get to that when? And it gets put on the back burner. And I'll tell you that when hardly ever happens and also, we're getting to a position where even though we want to show up for our loved ones and to do all the things, I don't think we realize that our family doesn't just want... Your daughter doesn't just want you, she wants the best of you possible that can show up and you can provide that, and it's a term. It's like, "Well, that's selfish." Once your child is born, it's them first, and now I'm not saying... Calm down, I'm not saying that our children don't become that top priority but to be the best us as possible and to be able to do all the things necessary, especially in the world today, for our children, we've got to take care of ourselves.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Let me tell you what I've learned as a mother to a girl, in particular, that she's watching and whatever I model for her will be her experience. What I love about my daughter, who's 14 now, but since she's been about nine or 10, sister girl don't play with taking a long bath on a Friday night, she will be, "Mom, where's the candle?" She has her own candles, she will do a facial by herself, she will take care of herself. Where did she get that from? Because Mom will be like, "Hey, I'm going to go get a facial, or I'm taking a bath." So, the best thing that I could do for her is model it, it's not tell her, it's not speak to her from the perspective of, "Here's what I wish I was doing." If you wanted to be different for the next generation, you have to model the difference, right? I come from a background, my mom raised me, my single mother raised me, my single grandmother, and they were very hard workers, and I watched them turn nothing into something all the time, right? But I realized after I got married and when my daughter was probably really kindergarten, that I was running my life and my body as if I was a single mother. I didn't even know how to ask for help.
I didn't even know how to get support, I didn't know how to take time for myself, right? My mom lived 45, worked. Excuse me, 45 minutes away from where we lived. I worked in the basement, I had a home office, and I ran myself ragged in the same way. Where my mother maybe didn't have the luxury of doing certain things, I did, and I had the access. Not that we had a lot of money at that time, we didn't, but I had the access, I was more aware of what was possible. There were so many opportunities to get that type of support, why are we still living like generations before us when we really don't have to? It's a choice. It's literally a switch, you can choose today that I'm going to pay for peace, I'm paying for anything that up levels my peace. When, you know, people used to try to make me feel bad that I had someone clean my house. Okay, the time spent on cleaning my house that I could put into writing this book, that I could put into recording this podcast, that I could put into speaking. This is unbalanced. This don't even make sense.
But society teaches us to put ourselves on welfare because we shame people and not just society, women shame women. "Well, big mama always cleaned the house." Big mama had to. Big mama had to. She didn't have these apps where somebody will show up with their cleaning stuff and get it done in three or four hours. They did what they had to do, that's not your story. So why are you taking on that story, why are you living in that story, why are you stressing yourself out, and why are you stressing out potentially the next generation? Because that's a cycle that will keep going if we don't choose to break it.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Yeah. And it starts with that mindset, obviously. And we'll talk more about that for sure. I want to hit maybe one or two of these principles with fit, and one of them, we could just kind of allude lose to this because I very rarely know the joys of this one, which is to take a shower or bath, just because, not because you are about to go somewhere and you're on a clock. I'm bringing this up because it was last night, we just flew in, they got all this stuff going on. I was like, "You know what? I'm going to take a shower." And this is like this one of those overhead showers where it's kind of like a music video, you know? I mean, I can put my hand on the wall if I want to or whatever. But anyway, it's just like I didn't feel any pressure, I just felt like, "You know, I'm just there." And so, it's very nice and just getting out and talking to my wife about it, she's like, "Yeah, of course, I know." 'Cause, she's already kind of tapped into that. So, doing that little bit of self-care, like you said, that time to have a bath, whatever the case might be, the little extra things, but let's talk about one of the basics, which in the book you talk about go the heck to sleep.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: I talk about you, don't I?
SHAWN STEVENSON: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm in there. Yeah, that's so awesome.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Yeah. Go the heck, just go to sleep. You know when you talk about Taylor, he is just trying to fight sleep, you see little kids and there's like dozen, but they don't want to miss anything?
SHAWN STEVENSON: He's like, "I'm up. Am I sleeping?"
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Right. "No, I'm up. What's going on? What's going on? They got to stay alert. We do that, like we have the luxury now, for example, of being able to turn our TV on a stream whatever we want, when we want to. You remember back in the day, you had to be home at 8 PM on Friday. If you were going to catch TGF, thank God it's Friday shows or you needed to be somewhere, there was no DVR, there was no recording, there was no streaming when you wanted to. We have the most access to anything in the world at our fingertips when we want it, and yet we will stay up binging something, right? Like stay up all night and be dead tired in the morning and feel what? You could have got season too on Saturday, right? You could have come back and space that thing out. What are we doing? We are so hyper-connected to everything, to social media, to the apps, we are slaves to algorithms. Like, "Oh, I must engage, I must post, I must do this, I must do that" Not so. Not so.
I'm going to have to be impactful with the time that I choose to dedicate to it, but I'm not going to be on it all night, and I'm not going to respond to people all day, and I'm going to go to sleep when I need to go to sleep, and I don't know if it's that I'm 40 now, Shawn, but listen, I'll be like, "It's 10. It's 10, I'm good, I need a solid seven to eight." But I will also do this thing, get up when you wake up. So, if I go to sleep early and I wake up before, I'm up. I start my day, I'm not trying to force myself to stay asleep either, I think it's just about letting your body get the rest that it needs. And when your body says, "We are good." I'm good.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Yeah, that's powerful. I love that so much. So, the number one pillar here, and these aren't any particular order, but Pillar One is Fit, and then the next pillar that you talk about, and this is another really strong that I can't... I've been talking about this for years, it might be, for me, one of the most important, if not be most important, is people, because you just met my wife, she is the biggest influence on everything in my life, everything. And from a tangible, real-world, she could intercept my past, I'm trying to throw a touchdown of joy and she can come in and intercept it. Just like, "No, not today, bro. Not in my house." And this is the beauty that... And I don't know if I've talked about this before, but it's so interesting, there's this movement of detachment. It's kind of like to reach enlightenment, to not be attached to things, and I think that that's one level where something doesn't have ownership of you, but I believe that it's another level when you can consciously choose to attach yourself to something, and so that's really what I feel about her like I'm aware that I could pull this dependency that I have and I have.
I've worked on that, but I found so much more joy as being a human when I allow her to be an influence in my life like I open myself up for her to hurt me. I open myself up for her to love me, to make me experience these things that I couldn't experience without her in the same form. So, people being such a strong influence on, obviously, our success or our happiness. The list goes on and on. Why did you decide to put that as a pillar in the book? Is it for some of those reasons?
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Yeah, it's for some of those same reasons, and the way you articulated that was so beautiful. I decided to talk more about people because I think we underestimate the power of people in our lives. I think, again, we're kind of taught to just make it happen and so that feels very individual, it feels very like, "I'm going to do it with my strength and my power, all these things." And we don't realize that greatness cannot be created in isolation, and anything that we want to be great in, it's going to require the support of others. Period, it doesn't matter what it is, anything that we want to be great in is going to require the support of others. And in my life, in my career, I know that one of the... The biggest thing for me early on is that I didn't know how to ask for help. I think I mentioned that earlier, I didn't know how to ask for support. I used to see it as a sign of weakness. I think many people do, and now we feel like there are so much available to us, we should be able to figure it out, but what I've learned over the last decade or so is that why do you want to figure it out by yourself when there's so many people around you who can help you shorten that learning curve?
I want to get to things sooner, quicker, faster. I'm not trying to work harder than I have to. You know how to do it? Hey, I'm just going to ask, and I used to be afraid to ask, but I've built that muscle. At the same time, I've also learned to run any answer through that filter of alignment for myself, so that I'm not just taking advice and just immediately applying it because sometimes you have to learn to reject advice that's not in alignment with your assignment. So, although it might have worked well for my mentor, for my coach, for my accountability partner, for my spouse, it still has to make sense for me, and I still have to be in touch, right? In tune enough with myself to make sure that it makes sense, but it doesn't stop me from asking, it doesn't stop me from asking. And everything that I've gotten... Just think about how I'm here now. I couldn't have pitched myself to be on your show, I really couldn't have just pitched myself all cold and been like, "Hey, I wrote this book, I'd really love to be all right.
Because we get pictures all day every day but building a relationship with your wife who I had no idea was your wife, it is just this nice lady that I talk to, right? From time to time, we touch base in the DMs, I had never been to her page, hadn't seen your face at all, I never been to her page, but it was just building relationships, building rapport, and now this person who's book I suggested for a pod club 'cause I wanted to read it and I was like, we're going to read it together, now I'm sitting here with you two years later, that has been my experience over and over and over again. So, when people say, "How did you go from sleeping on your brother's couch when you first moved to Atlanta, this is years ago, 2009, to being on the couch with Dr. Oz or with Steve Harvey, or with this person?" Never a pitch. Never a pitch. Every single thing that has come, has come because of some relationship, and so even when people are like, "How do you make that happen?" If you're doing this, I don't know, 'cause I don't force nothing. I don't have to, I just have to keep showing up, treating people well, not treating people as if they're your ticket to something, 'cause you know we love that, right?
Do you remember when people were like, "Oh my gosh, if I just meet Oprah my whole life is going to change." And their whole marketing plan, business strategy was to meet Oprah, and meanwhile, they neglected all of the people in their sphere of influence, all of the people that they could reach out and touch, they neglected, they didn't respect, "We want more clients, but we don't take care of our current clients, we want more opportunities, but we're not really taking care of the ones we have." Why do you want more of that? So, you can ruin more relationships? So, you can leave a string of people out there that can't stand you? Like what's that for?
SHAWN STEVENSON: Here comes the bridge burner everybody.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Right, this is the way that I say this, there's always someone watching you who has the power to bless you, but who are they watching you be?
SHAWN STEVENSON: Alright, that's it, we're done. We're done. Now, I've got so many other things, that, that's powerful. I hope everybody really sits with that one too, hit the little back button and play that again. That's so powerful. I want to ask you about this one because with people you talk about... And this is going to seem Captain Obvious, but this is the difference between knowledge and wisdom, are you doing it to surround yourself with the right people? Talk about that.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: I think a lot of us have loyalty to relationships that have expired, I think a lot of us romanticize relationships that have run their course, and so we stay loyal to people, whether that be family, friend or foe, we stay loyal to people that really should not have such proximity to us anymore, and so when you don't naturally have support, encouragement, whatever it is that you need, you need to go create it, it's your job to go curate the community that you need, we're not all born into it, some people are best friends with their siblings, wonderful, if you're not, go find your people. And that looks like putting yourself in spaces where people want to speak the same language, whether that's the language of money or healthy relationships, or healthy eating or whatever, go around people who can speak the language that you want to speak, be what you want to be. It's not enough to be like, "My family doesn't support me." Okay, lots of people come from families that don't support them, so what are you doing about it? Then you go, "Have you invested in a coach or mentor?" "I'm not paying people for that." "Okay, well, what do you want?"
"Where are they going to come from?" Because if you don't have it naturally, it's your duty to go and find your people. And I've been finding my people since I was like 19-years-old. I would go to just conferences. My friends were not checking for me back then, I was cool, I could party, I went to University of Southern California. I had a wonderful time, and I would go, "Do you guys want to go to this seminar on stocks and investments?" No response. I had one friend, I went to pick her up, but she didn't even answer the door, so I went by myself, and I met my people. I met people since I was 19 years old that I still know to this day, still Facebook friends with, still have relationships with. I went and found people who could help me get to my next. And the thing is, you don't always know what next is, you're not going to know until you allow yourself to be exposed. So, if it's not in your environment, you have to put yourself in places where you could be exposed to new ideas, new thoughts, new people, new opportunities, it doesn't happen at the house.
SHAWN STEVENSON: And speaking of at the house, this gets to the next pillar, which is space, that's another big one. There's so many good nuggets in here with space. One of the things you talk about is... I mean, it's just really simple, get it together. So, let's talk about space. What do you mean with this one?
PATRICE WASHINGTON: So, space is about setting up your environment to support you, so we hear all the time, "Time is money." We hear that, right? We don't realize how much time we actually waste because our spaces are not set up to support us, so many of us... I know you moved a couple of years ago, a cross country, I moved across country. People are moving, they are doing all types of things, and what we do is take things with us from season to season that no longer serve us, and we don't realize the impact that has on our energy, we don't realize how it actually drains us, we don't realize how it blocks us from creativity because all of that stuff creates an energy, right? And we think sometimes, I know with my old house in California, but it's beautiful and it's put away neatly, so don't think clutter is like, oh hoarders, 'cause that's where we go to like, "Oh, it must be hoarders, it must be awful." No, it could be neatly packed away, and it can hold and represent trauma in past relationships and past seasons, and all of this stuff that just does not support who you are today or where you want to go and to get it together, you have to be committed to cleaning it out, because clutter is the physical manifestation of chaos in your mind. Clutter is the physical manifestation of chaos in your mind.
And so many of us keep asking ourselves the same questions over and over again, and we're spiraling in these cycles of confusion, you're not confused, the answer is being presented to you, you can't see it, you just can't see it, you can't receive it yet, and so cleaning it up, I say this, any area in your life where you're feeling really stuck, I guarantee if you pay close attention, there is physical clutter associated with, if you feel like you have a block in your creativity, in your career, for example, guaranteed is something in that office that needs to be cleaned up, cleared out. If it's a health and well-being, look at your closet, look at your kitchen cabinets, look at those drawers, you're not clear and free to do what you need to do because you move around, letting your energy be zapped. So, you know when you go to look for something and you can't find it, what do you do? You go, mmm. You do that little thing, that little grunt, that little annoying, uh, your energy is being zapped.
So, by the time you do that all day, every day, 365 days a year, by the time you keep looking for your keys, your phone, all the stuff you misplace all day long, over and over again, that's time that you could have used to start your business, that's time that you could have used to come up with a new marketing idea, that's time that you could have used to plot your way to that promotion, that's time that you could have used to really dive in and learn more about investing or whatever it is, space will block you from creating the wealth that you really desire because it will drain your energy, and we all saw that with this pandemic, when you couldn't go anywhere else and you had to face that laundry that you didn't fold the last two weeks, when you were stuck at home on lockdown and you're like, "I hate it here, I don't really like this." Then everything started getting sold out, people were painting and changing toilets and remodeling kitchens, I know I did.
People were doing everything because you realize I'm in this house and the energy is not right, and I have to work and live and play and do everything I need to do in this space. Before the pandemic, we ignored it, we didn't pay attention to how much it really drained us, and when we got in that situation, all of a sudden it was like, "Oh my gosh, I have to do something, I have to get on this Zoom call, I better clean up my background. I better add a plant, add something live in here." All of a sudden, we became aware of how much space really impacts us, but it's always had. It's always had an impact. Way more than we give it credit.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Yeah. That's so powerful. A big tenet. So I love this, you have these pillars, and one of the pillars of just being healthy overall has a lot to do with, and it might sound again counterintuitive, being financially healthy, because it's such a stressor for people, it's such a bearing force in our relationships, most relationships or about half are ending due to conflicts over money, and it can also be that striving for it, and then an efficacious manner could be a big stressor on the body, so why not have a level of health in that space, getting past all the stories we tell ourselves, and we're going to talk about this more in a minute, but I'm bringing this up to say that how about, what if... Just allow this question to ponder in your mind, what if creating space for money is one of the first parts of making more money? And so, you talk about in here as well, of creating your money-making space, so that's going to be obviously a physical environment, but my wife was telling me to ask you, because she took this on, again, probably a year ago, she started using this term money Monday. So, let's talk about that.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Oh, money Mondays is what I do every Monday, 9:00 AM, excuse me, Eastern, with my husband. We get together and we go through all the finances, we look at where we are at with all the accounts, what's coming up, not just finances, but we also just look at the schedule for the week or the next few weeks, who's traveling? What are we going to do with our child? What are we going to do with our dog if we're all gone? Like those types of things, and it relieved all the stress that we used to have when we were trying to have these conversations in passing, and I think for both parties, it's really helpful to do something like this to create the space for those types of conversations, because when we first lost everything in the recession, I remember I would look at my husband sleeping soundly while I was like freaking out about stuff, and I just wanted to choke him in his sleep, I'm not going to lie, I'm not even going to lie, I'm like, "How is he... " And he snored too. And he is comfortable, he is in La-La Land, and we don't have money. Right? Like what in the world? And it's not that he wasn't just as concerned, but we had different styles.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Right, different expressions, yes.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: We had different expressions, mine was to be up all night worrying, and his was like, "Well, let it come to me in my sleep. Alright" "Maybe an answer will come to me in my sleep." And so instead of trying to say things in passing, which a lot of us do, it's like, "Hey, don't forget that bill." People have a million things on their mind at any given moment, you can walk away from a conversation right now and forget 80% of what was just said, that just is what it is, there's so many things vying for our attention. So, it's not going to happen naturally. You have to be intentional about creating the space. And the thing about creating that space is you get to determine if it's a safe space, because the thing about communication between, especially significant others, is that we tend to come into it with this idea of my way your way, and of course everyone thinks their way is the right way, no matter how it pans out, where the outcome is, we always think we have the right way, and we have to learn that it's not a matter of my way or your way, first of all, we're in this together. It's us against them. It's not us against us, so what is our way? How do we move about this?
In our family, we also had to remove the gender role type stuff that said, "Oh, men handle finances." But my husband doesn't really like to be all in that. He likes to make money, but how it's disseminated is really more my love, my thing. That's what I love. So instead of trying in the early years, we'd be like, "Well, he's going to do it now, 'cause he's the man." So that put additional pressure on him, and then it stressed me out 'cause I want to be behind him like, "Hey, I don't mean to nag, but I'm going to nag." Right? So, it was a constant thing. And when we just accepted like, "Okay, I'm good at making money." That's his thing, how we plan for retirement and making sure we're properly insured and making sure that we're investing, all those things, that comes naturally to me. So why not just take that, but then make sure that we have this consistent communication, so no one ever feels left in the dark. And that's really important to me. My last book was "Real Money Answers for Every Woman", and a part of what really prompted that for me was the number of women I would meet who would experience the death of a spouse or divorce, or their spouse becoming disabled somehow, and they had no idea what was going on in their finances.
So, pile that on top of the grief that you're already experiencing from one of those three D's, and now you don't have the money you thought you had, you don't have the insurance that you thought you had. You don't really have the access to the money that you thought you have. Now you're just out here after you've given five, 10, 15, 20 years to a relationship, that happens more often than we really, really talk about, and it's devastating. So, if we have this upfront communication where everything is laid down on the table, then people are more aware of what's really happening, and now it doesn't have to add an extra layer of grief and stress and hurt and pain to a time that's already painful.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Just sounds so logical. So logical.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: So, we don't do it.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Right. Well, they will, of course.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: They will now.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Yes.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: I have a lot of people that are doing it now, though, I do. I have a whole crew of girls that do financial Fridays now with their significant others, and I have a lot of people who are now doing it with their kids, 'cause one thing that I say too, don't shelter your kids from the realities of adulthood, they out here thinking that we're just living, we're just under this roof, no, they need to know what bills look like.
SHAWN STEVENSON: These are the things that aren't taught in the "education system."
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Isn't that sad?
SHAWN STEVENSON: These are the most important things that kind of govern our life.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: No matter what industry you want to go in, you're going to have to manage your finances.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Yeah, they don't teach you how to do that.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: No.
SHAWN STEVENSON: They don't teach you how to even... You go to school to learn all of these different particular academic skill sets, but not how to actually turn it into something, how do you actually make this sustain your livelihood? But again, this is wonderful to have people like yourself who are out there speaking the language that people can understand and bringing this stuff to life, so it's a gift, so make sure, of course, to pick up Patrice's book for sure, Redefine Wealth For Yourself.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Right.
SHAWN STEVENSON: We've got a quick break coming up, we'll be right back.
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PATRICE WASHINGTON: So, the faith pillar is about believing in something greater, and the thing I always tell folks is, I really don't care what you believe, right? It's not about trying to convert you to believe what I believe, but I do believe you should believe in something because life is going to happen. It's not a matter of if it's when. And I think far too often, we wait until we're in crisis to determine what we believe, right? So now you have the additional stress of like, well, how am I going to navigate this, or what are my beliefs? It's like if you are already practicing it, then when life came, you would just fall into the practice, but we say we believe things and then we don't make time for it in our schedule, well, do you really? You have to actively be practicing this stuff because greatness requires you to expect resistance, it's coming, it's coming. So, when you have your routine and your rituals and your habits associated with your faith practice already together, and I don't care if your thing is, I believe in the earth and I believe... Okay, well, are you making time to go to the park?
Are you making time to hike, are you making time to do whatever it is you say you believe will ground you regularly? Because we can't get by on, I call it spiritual malnutrition, you're malnourished. So now everything that comes your way in life, you fall in for anything and everything, because as soon as something happens, you're crumbling, you're falling apart, you're retreating, you back in the bed, and I'm not talking about people who have actual mental, like mental illness, that's different, but there's a lot of people... Your able body, everything should not be taking you out in this way, you are creating these scenarios and magnifying them instead of magnifying what you say you believe, if you magnify what you say you believe, everything could not take you out the way that it does. I don't feel that I'm particularly special or super strong, but I do feel like I have a level of resilience because my faith has taught me that nothing happens to me, it happens for me, so I've learned to fight for the lesson or the blessing no matter what it is. So even at one of the hardest times, I sat with, Okay, what am I supposed to learn? That may be the wrong thing.
There might be a therapist out there like, well, that's not how you do... That's how I've been able to make it this far. So, no matter what it is, I literally, I'm like, Okay, what am I supposed to learn? And sometimes I realize there's not some big, huge lesson, it could be very small, but one thing can change everything, and so even if a really negative time in my life comes and it teaches me that one thing, I choose to be grateful. It's a choice, it's a choice. And we don't realize that we have the power to choose. And so that's why I see faith is like a big piece of this because I think a lot of people give up too soon. They are so close to what they say they want, they're so close to the vision on their heart, they're so close and then something happens and they are so destroyed by it, but the same thing could have happened to someone else and they were able to move through, and oftentimes, I find it's somewhere between that fit and that faith pillar, that makes the difference in people being able to move through.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Listen, listen, that's so powerful. That's so powerful. And I just want to read to rate this point that you just said it, you get to choose, you get to choose your perception of the situation, but if you have that faith set, the system is already there online, like you mentioned, so you're not just falling into it. The next pillar, again, we just dabble in, it is a little dabble into this incredible... It's an overall incredible message because you said at the very beginning, well, it's in the word, well-being is if we look at the root of it, and now to really flip that switch in our minds because we just think it's just about money because of our culture, and we're going to get to that, that's actually the final pillar we'll touch on, but I just want to touch on this part because this is usually the vehicle that we think about as far as making money, which is work, so let's dabble a little bit in why work is a pillar here.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Work is a pillar because I believe you should live your life's purpose. So, one of the things, I'm not sure if you know that I'm fascinated with financial psychology, so I'm Certified in Financial Psychology. And almost at the end of an MBA in behavioral finance. And so, one of the things that I knew well before I even entered my program, when I was working with people one-on-one all the time, here in Atlanta is a financial management consultant, was that people would often mismanage your finances, not because they didn't understand how to use a budget, they mismanaged their finances because they were unfulfilled, and that un-fulfillment kept creating a void. And the void is how they would try to... Well, how they would fill the void is with stuff, so they would be buying people or things or experiences, but they kept trying to buy stuff to fill the void, but the truth is, you buying stuff to fill the void every other night or on the weekend, does not take the place of what you do more than anything else, which are waking hours, they in and day out, more of us spend more time working than doing anything else.
And if you are in a space where you're not operating in your gifting, where you're not able to do the thing that you naturally were born to do, it's being suppressed and not because you don't recognize it, many of us kind of know we have a gift, right? But it was dim down by someone else, someone in your childhood could have said, hey, you talk too much, and even though your gift is in speaking now, you have learned to silence your voice, so you're in a space where you're doing something that doesn't allow you to operate in your gift. And the only thing that you can do now is, well, I'm going to get a bigger house to show people that I made it. I'm going to get the next version of this car, so people know I'm good, I'm going to pay for pooky in them, all the friends and family that get into a gym, I'm going to be their savior, so they know that I got it all because you're just not really using your voice in the way that you should. And then there are some people who are using their gifts, but they're using it in the wrong ministry, you got the right gift in the wrong industry, and now it's making you question the gift, and so you're questioning.
And the only way many of us have learned to soothe ourselves is with using our money to buy stuff, using our money to show, oh, look at me. I'm good, I'm good. It's really showing, You're not good, but you're like, I'm good, I'm good. It's like a protective layer almost. And so why is the work pillar there? Because I want to encourage people to live their life's purpose, I want to encourage people to understand that there is no greater joy than the fulfillment you feel when you're doing work you know you were purposed to do, when you're able to operate in your gifts effortlessly. And you see it being a blessing to other people because it doesn't matter about passion. Let me just say this Shawn, I don't know if you read this part yet, but one thing I know, passion is not enough. So, we hear, oh follow your passion, and the money will come. That's a lie from the pits of hell, there's no money coming just because you're passionate about something, just because it energizes you and pumps you up and excites you, a lot of people are passionate about things, they're not proficient in, you're passionate about something you weren't called to do.
So, you can have your passion on Saturday, but you better get passionate about what you're actually gifted in, 'cause when you can get passionate about something you're already gifted in, and then you have education and some type of experience that layers on top of that...
SHAWN STEVENSON: It's going to be hard to be.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Yeah, 'cause you can quit jobs, you can't quite a calling when you get passionate about your gift, you start to get called in certain directions, that's why it doesn't feel like you're forcing, you're pushing, you're manipulating. I don't have to ask me; I just show up. I literally just show up. There's no script. There's not a whole bunch of notes. There's no points anywhere. I don't sound the same on every single interview, because this is in me. This is who I am, right? If this were suppressed, do you know all the stuff I'd be trying to buy somewhere? Right? But that's what we do. And that's why with all of these pillars, I lay them out the way that I do, so people understand your issue is not with a budget, there are a million different types of budgets that will fit your lifestyle, your personality, your vibe, it's not a one-size-fits-all thing. The questions that I get, well, which savings account should I choose? Anyone that you're going to be consistent saving in, don't matter to me. That doesn't matter, right? Everything you need to know about money, big mama told you, like people back in that they already told you.
The reason that you don't have the capacity to receive it is because your mind is blocked and cluttered with all of the other pillars, there's no way for you to focus on what you already know to do when you're in a place that makes you show up every day talking about, they try me today. Somebody going to get it. If you show up to work like that every day, it doesn't matter what I tell you to do with your finances, you don't have the capacity to receive it yet, if your relationships are in a shambles, we can say anything, right? You don't have the capacity to receive what we're saying yet, mentally and physically out of shape, it doesn't matter what we say about what you should be doing with money, you don't have the capacity to receive it yet, and the sooner people understand that you don't have to be real with yourself and be honest, and choose one of these pillars to get started with, 'cause one is in a shambles no matter who you are, right? And this is always a lesson, I'm not a 10 in every pillar. Just because I have a certain level of awareness in certain seasons, some things are eight, certain seasons there are six, there are four, and I have to like, hey come on girl, but having the awareness allows me to see where my attention needs to go.
We put our attention on the wrong stuff, and what does that look like? Chasing money, we put our attention on, oh, I just need a new job, Oh, I just need to move, Oh, I just need to insert all of the things that we use, you keep making it about that, but you keep taking you to all of those experiences in those places, nothing's going to change until we do.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Yeah. Wow. Well, this leads us to our final pillar here, and again, you go much more in-depth in this category as well, breaking down gifts, purpose, calling, but we'll dabble, I'm going to dabble a little bit in the Money pillar, and you actually are leading in here, and I'm going to share a quote from this that I really loved, it says "Every change in your life starts with a shift in mindset, a new way of thinking that allows you to make better decisions and see your goals through to completion" and the reason this stands out so much for me is that the truth in it. It's so simple, but it's true. We might want to make more money, we might try and like just tell me which savings account to get, tell me what things to invest in, but truly wealth, as far as that financial component of wealth, it still begins with the way that you think.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Mm-hmm, Mm-hmm. One of my mentors, Dr. Dennis Kimbro, he wrote a book called "Wealth is a choice" and that's that mindset piece, it's remembering this is a choice, many of us don't choose wealth because of programming, we didn't see it, we didn't experience Financial wealth, possibly, some people actually experience financial wealth, but there was so much negativity attached to it that they actually rejected, right? No matter what side of the spectrum you're on, a lot of us have created these ideas of what it means to be rich or wealthy or successful, and that's the lens that we operate from. So, if you believe it takes money to make money, and you don't come from a background with money, you're going to make the journey harder than it probably has to be because you are already in that struggle... Mentality, right? So, we come at that from, nobody wants to help me, I hear this, our family members this way, nobody wants to help me. Nobody wants to support me. That's not true. But you don't even have the capacity to receive support yet 'cause you haven't shifted your mind to say, Yeah, I'm ready to receive my financial dream team, I'm ready for that.
Some people think, oh, I can only start talking to a financial advisor or get support or get life insurance, or whatever those things are, once I make six figures or once I hit a certain dollar amount, which you don't realize, it's who you are with a $100, it's who you won't be with $100,000.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Play that, I'll repeat that. Yeah. Yeah.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: You can be the same, more money doesn't all of a sudden make you more financially astute, it's a muscle that you build, it's a muscle that you build, so when you start to treat yourself like the CEO of your life, like, I run this and when I'm running this, I need to be aware financially of was going on, I don't care if your life right now is $20,000 a year, you got to treat yourself like I'm big business, as one of the coaches in my program says, We're big business, you got to treat yourself like Okay, 20,000... How would a CEO manage $20,000? Where are we allocating resources to, what are we going to be responsible for, do we need someone to take a look at this and give us some support? You don't all of a sudden start doing that when you hit two million. No, that's a muscle that has to be built, and if you all of a sudden start doing that, more than likely, you're going to trust the wrong people, 'cause you're not even in a position to ask better questions yet, you didn't have to ask questions when you have less money, you think your question is going to be better when you have more money? No. So you got to start where you are with what you have.
I have this story about picking up change, right? I pick up change everywhere, I don't care if I'm dressed to the nines and a ball gown, makeup is flawless. If I see change on the ground, I'm going to stop and do a polite bin and I'm going to pick it up because I learned to see even change on the ground is opportunity. It's taught me a lot about how I view money because I used to be a person that will walk over change all the time like You know how we're. Oh, Penny, too good for that. And DeVon Franklin, who you may know, Hollywood producer, he actually was a senior at USC when I came in as a freshman, and he was a speaker back then, and he did this exercise where he put $20 on the ground and said, who wants to get it? It was all the freshmen, everybody sat there, me included, we were like, is this a joke or is this... And he just did there, and it felt like forever minutes went by and finally, someone went up there and picked it up and reluctantly went back to their seat like this is a joke, and he was like, why didn't the rest of you, is 400 or 500 people? Why didn't you guys get up and get it? And that just taught me such a big lesson 'cause I was closer to that 20 than the girl who came to get it, and I was like, I will never just allow an opportunity to pass me by like that again, ever.
And then I started doing that with pennies, dimes, nickels, people could be talking to me, and I made a conversation been down, and they're like, Oh my gosh, you're always picking up change. Yeah, because I realized the reason that I didn't go get the 20 is because I was afraid of what other people would think. I was afraid. And so, we walk over money all the time, and then we complain about not having enough money, but you just walked over a penny, you walked over a nickel, you walked over a dime, you walked over a dollar, because What? You thought you were too good? Or were you afraid? Did you not want people to see you doing that? How does that show up in other parts of your life? When it's time to go for the razor promotion, do you not go 'cause you don't want your co-workers to say anything? Oh, I don't want to look thirsty. I don't want to look like I need it. We got all these conversations going on in our head, and so since the time I was about 18 or 19, I started picking up change, and it taught me to have a greater respect for money and the opportunities that present themselves in my life because I realized the universe doesn't care about denomination, it's the discipline and determination to go get what you say you want.
So, no, I don't chase deals and I don't chase a bunch of other opportunities, I still to this day, I pick up change in a heartbeat, but then I can open my email, and someone say, Hey, we'd love for you to be our partner for this thing. Oh, it pays. Insert nice dollar amount. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, 'cause I've already talked. The universe I'm worthy of. I'm not afraid. I want all the smoke, give me all the opportunities. Anything that aligns with what I'm called to do, I'm here for it. Right? That's a great money lesson. That has nothing to do with the budget. And those are the types of things that I talk about in the book.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Yes, you do. So good, so powerful. And you also talk about mastering the basics, all the things that we tend to think about as far as money is concerned. But you really get to the real stuff, and so, you let everybody know where to pick up your book and also where they can just follow you, get connected. Give more into your universe.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Yes, well, all things Patrice Washington are at PatriceWashington.com. And my favorite place to play though, if you're really going to get to me is Instagram. That's how I met your lovely wife. On Instagram, I'm seewisdompcw. But if you go to PatriceWashington.com, I actually have this download, it's the truth about wealth where you can actually go through the Pillars again and get a quick assessment to help you figure out which pillar you might want to start with.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Yes, and so, of course, redefined wealth for yourself. You can pick that up everywhere books are sold, and I appreciate you so much, Truly, thank you for venturing into the wild to get here today, and you know the pleasant surprise, my wife getting here really at that synchronous time, you guys being dressed the same. It's really freaky 'cause it's like literally the jacket, the jean jacket, if people now are watching the video, that my wife had on, she's worn that one other time, I've been with her for, I don't know, how many years? 17 years. She's only wore a jean Jacket like that one other time and today, and both you guys have the black underneath and the gold and yeah, it's meant to be. So, a little wink from the universe. But truly, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with all of us.
PATRICE WASHINGTON: Thank you for having me, this was great.
SHAWN STEVENSON: Awesome. Patrice Washington, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning into the show today. I hope you got a lot of value out of this. Sharing is caring, make sure to share the love. If this inspired you, share this episode out with somebody that you care about, you can send it directly from the podcast app, you can text it to somebody, you can even post this to all your friends and family and followers on social media, you can tag me, I'm @shawnmodel and tag Patrice as well, and share what you thought about this episode. Again, sharing is caring. Empowerment is at a premium right now; we need more of it than ever. Again, I appreciate you so much for tuning into the show today. When I tell you I got some powerful episodes coming up, it is no exaggeration, you do not want to miss what's coming next, more masterclasses, more world-changing guests, so make sure to stay tuned. I appreciate you so much. Take care, have an amazing day, and I'll talk with you soon.
And for more after this show, make sure to head over to themodelhealthshow.com, that's where you can find all of the show notes, you could find transcriptions videos for each episode. And if you got a comment, you can leave me a comment there as well. And please make sure to head over to iTunes and leave us a rating to let everybody know that the show is awesome, and I appreciate that so much. And take care. I promise to keep giving you more powerful, empowering, great content to help you transform your life. Thanks for tuning in.
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