Listen to my latest podcast episode:

TMHS 782: Microdosing Exercise, Staying Motivated, & The Best Way to Build Muscle – with Mark Bell

TMHS 773: The Secret to More Happiness, Success, & Wellness – With Lisa Nichols

Your mindset, attitude, and beliefs are critical factors in determining your success in life.If you want to create change, identifying and addressing your thought patterns is ofupmost importance. And if you’re in need of some motivation and inspiration,there’s nobetter influence than Lisa Nichols.LisaNicholsis a bestselling author, entrepreneur, and motivational speaker.

On this compilation episode of The Model Health Show, you’re going to hear the most powerfulinsights from my past conversationswith Lisa.Her personal story ofimprovingher lifeand her health serves as a powerful testament to her message of taking personalresponsibilityand how your mindset can help you reach your potential.

You’re going to learn invaluable tools for making yourself a priority and transformingyour life. Lisa is sharing the transformative moments that changed her life, and thecritical mindset shifts that accompanied her personal growth.Her message is anempowering reminder of the potential we all hold to create the life, career, and healthoutcomes we aspire to; I hope you enjoy these messages from the one and only, LisaNichols!

In this episode you’ll discover:

  • The painful moment that inspired Lisa to change her life.
  • Why we need to recognize that true transformation takes time.
  • The difference between running from your past and taking your past with you.
  • What it means to have gifts wrapped in sandpaper.
  • How to stop postponing your happiness.
  • Three buckets you can use to sort your priorities.
  • How to stop trying to prove yourself to others.
  • The importance of increasing your internal sense of value.
  • What forgiveness really is.
  • Why you should operate like a laser, not a flood light.
  • An exercise you can use to expose the lies you tell yourself.
  • Why growth requires letting go of familiar discomfort.
  • How taking a risk on yourself can lead to success.
  • The power of opting out of comparison.
  • Why an energy of certainty is contagious.
  • The importance of action in The Law of Attraction.
  • Why you have to allocate time for yourself before you serve others.
  • The one question you need to ask yourself to improve your health.

Items mentioned in this episode include:

This episode of The Model Health Show is brought to you by Onnit and Organifi.

 

Visit Onnit.com/model for an exclusive 10% discount on human performance supplements and fitness equipment.

 

Visit organifi.com/smarterkit to claim your FREE copy of the Eat Smarter Family Cookbook when you buy the Eat Smarter Kit of superfoods.

Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Model Health Show. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute and leave a quick rating and review of the show on Apple Podcast by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!

Transcript:

SHAWN STEVENSON: Welcome to The Model Health Show. This is fitness and nutrition expert, Shawn Stevenson. And I'm so grateful for you tuning in for me today. It's not just you are what you eat. Indeed, that is a wise statement because we're literally making our bodies and our brains out of the nutrients that we're taking in from the food that we're consuming.

 

Absolutely. What we're eating is making the tissues of our heart, our brain, our skin, the list goes on and on. But it's not just you are what you eat. It's also you are what you drink. It's also you are what you breathe.  A lot of the elements in our bodies is a result of this amazing process of breathing. 

 

But on top of all that,  it's not just you are what you eat, you are what you drink, you are what you breathe, but it's also you are what you think. You are what you think. As a man thinketh, so is he.  And so our beliefs are determining our lives. Our beliefs determine what is making up our bodies what our psychology is made of what our very brain is made of. Every thought that we think is creates change in our brains physical change. That's how powerful it is 

 

So with that in mind today, I wanted to provide you with an incredible thought meal not just food for thought but thought for food  And this is coming from somebody who is a true inspiration for millions of people around the world and  deeply for myself as well. She's had such a big impact on my life, on my thinking, on my family.

 

I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate her and her work. And when she talks, you listen, when she talks, my attention perks up to a hundred. And I'm so grateful to be able to share this with you today. Again, as food for your soul and to remind you of how powerful you are to create the life that you want to create the health that you want.

 

And so on this powerful episode, you're going to hear from multiple conversations that I had with New York Times bestselling author and also to help celebrate Women's history month. She's the number one female motivational speaker in the world. I'm talking about Lisa Nichols and I'm telling you, this is going to absolutely fill your cup today, feel your spirit.

 

And by the way, one of the things that she's going to talk about is her years of struggle with her personal health and how she was able to transform her life. And today is shout-out to Lisa because she is about that fitness life. Like she's  really about that life and it's just incredible to see. 

 

Now, another inspiration for this episode today is she just moved back closer to me. And so now that she's back here in town, I've got a gift for her. I'm going to give her a gift of fitness, and I'm going to tell you where I'm getting this gift from. I get this gift actually for a lot of my friends.  And if you're wondering also, what am I having post-workout after I'm doing my training thing?

 

What am I having?   The post-workout protein that I use and also where I get the fitness equipment that I share with my friends is from Onnit. There are several types of protein supplements available on the market today. From plant sources to animal sources, but the vast majority of clinical evidence supporting the benefits of using a protein supplement are from studies done on whey protein, a randomized double-blind study published in The Journal of Nutrition found that overweight test subjects who were instructed to consume whey protein daily for 23 weeks lost more fat mass, had a greater loss in waist circumference, and had a greater reduction of circulating ghrelin levels, this is our body's major hunger hormone, compared to test subjects taking a daily soy protein or an isogenic carbohydrate drink. 

 

What's really powerful about this study is that the test subjects were not instructed to make any other dietary or lifestyle changes. Just adding in the whey protein led to those results. Now high-quality grass-fed whey is the key. But if you are looking for a plant-based protein, Onnit's got your back. With that as well because they're leading the industry in that too. And they've got the science to back it up. You can check out all the science on their website. And when you go to onnit.com/model , you're going to get 10 off their amazing protein products their science-based pre-workout supplements and also They're exercise equipment as well.

 

All right. 10 percent off storewide, go to onnit.com/model. That's ONNIT.COM/MODEL for 10 percent off store-wide head over there. Check them out. And now let's get to the apple podcast review of the week. 

 

ITUNES REVIEW: Another five-star review titled relatable, reliable, pop culture, passionate info.

 

Shawn  is one of my favorite health and wellness voices. Not only does he have a cool and smooth voice that hugs your ear, but he also includes reliable and interesting research based on aspects of health that he is very passionate about. Coming from his own personal struggles, he is empathetic, and playful, and exudes an infectious resilience.

 

I really appreciate his pop culture references as well. I don't tend to write reviews, but I was really taken by Dr. Nita. I'm excited to get her book. She is incredibly empathetic, compassionate, funny, and provide a fantastic mindset, trauma, and emotional discovery tools that I look forward to using. In other words, I recommend this podcast.

 

I'm grateful for you, Shawn. 

SHAWN STEVENSON:
I'm grateful for you too. And you got me in a nutshell right there.   That's powerful. Thank you so much for acknowledging me and my character. And  it really does mean a lot. Thank you so much for leaving that review over on Apple podcast and just taking the time to share your heart.

 

And yeah, it means so much. And listen, if you yet to do     pop over to Apple podcasts, make sure that you are following The Model Health Show. Most importantly, and if you feel called to do it, please leave a review for the show.  And on that note, let's get to this powerful conversation with New York times and bestselling author Lisa Nichols.

 

Now in this first segment, Lisa is going to be talking about what the catalyst was for her to transform her own life and transform the lives of others. Also why it's time for you to stop postponing your own happiness? And she's also going to be talking about why your greatest gifts might come as Lisa shares wrapped in sandpaper and so much more.

 

I think you're going to absolutely love this first segment. Check out this conversation with the amazing Lisa Nichols  

LISA NICHOLS:
In 1994. If I pick a moment I was broke and broken and I knew that being broke was easier than being broken, being broke. I just need to go find out how to make money being broken.

 

I needed to find the willpower and the desire to get up and the belief in myself to tell someone I was worthy of being paid. That was the hardest journey. And  I had my son in 1994, which it was a combination of the most beautiful time in my life and the lowest point in my life, because it was the time that I had something outside of me, my child, something that I saw my heart for the first time outside of my chest.

 

And I was willing to  kill away my ego.  for this child. And I had to eight months after he was born when I had to go get on government assistance. I had to stand in the line and ask someone to help me pay my bills and to help me feed my child. And it was one of the most humbling experiences of my life because I was very independent.

 

I'd been working since I was 14. And at 28, I just hit, I hit a place that I didn't know was rock bottom until I kept feeling that feeling something on my back going  I think that's the bottom circumstances   and one of those circumstances was when he was eight months old, I ran out of Pampers and I went to the ATM to get 20 out to get my son Jelani Pampers and it said insufficient funds. And  I was just saying the other day I was delivering a sermon at a church and I said, people, I was interviewed 155 times in a five-month period  because I was the first  woman in the self-development industry to get paid a million dollars to write one book and it just created a lot of buzz.

 

And I was, I'm very grateful for it. And everyone kept asking me the same question. What did you do? What did you do? What was the moment? What was the moment? And everyone was looking for a moment. So I started looking for a moment.   What was the moment? Cause it wasn't a moment. Yeah. But if I had to give it a moment, I said  to a lot of people that interviewed me, I said, listen, I said, I don't know if you remember that thing that made you decide, but I remember that thing that made me decide.

 

It said 11 dollars and 42 cents. That I looked at that 18, I looked at that balance and it was at  7 11 I'll never forget it. That's how broken my life was. I was banking at 7 11. I was just going to the ATM, paying all the extra charges cause I didn't even want to go to the bank. I knew I had some NSF  checks there. So just the, just everything was in chaos and I saw $11.42 and I didn't know at the time that was my moment.

 

But when I look back at it because everyone kept asking me, what was the moment? The thing that came in my head was $11.42.  And then what happened after that?  I had to wrap my son Jelani in a series of towels  for two days.  And  someone asked me on another occasion, because every time I tell the story, tears come up. 

 

And they said, you've told the story so much. Do you ever just  make the tears come up to make the moment more important? I said, no, I'm a mama.  Every time I tell the story, I'm a mama  who had to wrap her son in a towel for two days. I don't get excited about telling the story, but I owe you the story because you see a public company.

 

I run a multimillion-dollar business. I travel the world. I inspire people. I live a first-class life, but you want to know more importantly, how did I get there? And what was the inspiration? $11.42.  It was my moment and   I didn't know how to get out of there. It didn't happen overnight when I decided I'm done.

 

There was no, the ceiling didn't open up and lights didn't come down and, oh,  angels singing and all of a sudden everything got great. No, nothing changed in my life but my mind. I was bankrupt. And I love the use of the word bankrupt because bankrupt means there ain't nothing left. I'm done with this version.

 

I'm ready to press reset. I was bankrupt with being  broken. So I began to search. I began, I became an explorer.  And I wasn't a,  in school, I was a C average student. I never got above a C plus. I wasn't extraordinary in anything except for track. I just got to say, I was state champion for the record  I held the 330 little hurdle records for 18 years at my high school.

 

I'm just going to say, that academically I didn't surpass anything other than average. Academically. I struggled for 12 years in school. I was considered right above special ed. I found out in my twenties that it was primarily because I'm severely dyslexic.  But I didn't know my dyslexia. Now I use my dyslexia for my advantage.

 

I teach  holistically. I go back, I go both directions when I teach, right? But then I didn't know. And so $11.42, wrapping my son in Pampers    and towels until I can afford to buy him Pampers was my moment. And then I became an explorer of information. I knew that if my external circumstances was going to change, I had to learn what I didn't know. 

 

I had to learn what I didn't know because I was already using everything I knew and what I knew was getting me this, what I was receiving. So apparently people must know something I don't know and I just literally someone who didn't.  I got, listen, I, the last time I took an English class, I got a fail.

 

The last time I took a speech class, I got a D minus and my English teacher told me I was the weakest writer she had ever met in her entire life in front of the entire class, excuse me, in front of the entire class. And my. My speech teacher said, Ms. Nichols, quote-unquote, I recommend that you never speak in public, that you get a desk job.

 

I kid you not, I kid you not, I kid you not. So I had no confirmation of who I was. Could become. Yeah. Other than my mom and my dad. And they were just like, look, get a good, have a good life, and don't struggle too much. You know what I mean? It wasn't like you can have everything. It was just don't struggle too much.

 

And when I told my dad, I wanna be a motivational speaker, he was like  what is that?  Is that a real job? Yeah. Does that come with benefits? You get a vacation, can you feed your baby on that? Like   it wasn't even a created environment. Now it is. Now it's getting hotter, popular, but it didn't come with any structure.

 

And so I was bankrupt and who I had become. So I was willing to reinvent Lisa. I was willing to kill away any part of Lisa that was going to hold me back from being the woman that I hadn't even met yet. That's a big statement because when you kill away, that means you have to sign up for being in constant disruption for a very long time.

 

And you also have to sign up to walk by yourself for a very long time, possibly. Yeah.  And so I was okay with that. I was okay with that. It wasn't, it was scary, but I knew that I could not sentence  myself and my son  to a future that looked and resembled this. So I got a glimpse   in a very   real way at 7/11, $11.42 of the life. I wasn't willing to live.  And the future I wasn't willing to repeat. So all I kept looking for are new experiences that didn't repeat this, new experiences that didn't look like this. And the further away from what I knew I could get and I wasn't physically aware, I was still living in Inglewood.  I was still driving down Martin Luther King Boulevard, right?

 

Inglewood and I was, I'm still driving my same little citation. I had a car that was so old it didn't have two seats. It had the. The one seat, remember them old cars? They have the one seat. My grandmother had the car and it was a  hand-me-down. I was grateful for it. And  I couldn't turn left.

 

I, when I turned left, it got stuck and then it came unstuck and then it was dangerous. Everything on my left side, cause the car would swerve and I was okay with that. I was going to drive that bucket to my future. If I needed to, I was okay with disrupting everything for the sake of something unfamiliar and unfamiliar possibility.

 

Now, I want to be clear. I wasn't running from my past. I bring it with me. That's how   about in my books  about when I'm on stage, I'm okay. I own all Lisa  every single aspect of Lisa. Eight months after that moment, my son's father went to prison  and my son is 23 and my son's father is still in prison today  and  I had the journey of pulling the blessing out of that     and understanding  what was about  and finding forgiveness in my heart  and not using that as a crutch.  And so I had all these beautiful gifts that came wrapped in sandpaper.  I have  beautiful gifts that came wrapped in sandpaper. And some took me a month to understand. And some took me 10 years to get to the gift because the sandpaper was so thick. 

SHAWN STEVENSON:
Love that.  One of the things that I'm also hearing in the story is something that we often do, which you made a decision to follow a path to find happiness and to find success, but so many of us postpone happiness, right?  Can you talk a little bit about that? 

LISA NICHOLS:
Absolutely  We wait for a moment in time. Something has to happen in order for us to be happy and to me happy isn't something that you go and find you can't Google download   Happy grows from you.

 

Happy grows from a moment and happiness isn't something you arrive at, and it's a destination that you stay at. Happiness is something that you seek to evoke, and emanate, and grow, and experience, and touch as much as possible, and you're willing to leave it to revisit it. Happiness comes in freedom. See, whenever something is rigid and it has to stay, then, You just left happiness because now you have to stay at happiness.

 

Happiness is a place that you move in and out of, it expands and contracts with you. Happiness is something you can measure. I always say I'm as happy when I look at my child, I'm as happy as his saddest day sometimes. Because he's my heart outside of me. And  then I detach from him, I let him define his happiness and I watch.

 

But there's never a moment I'm not connected to my child. And so if he's going through a dark part. There's a part of me that is always with him and happiness is not something that someone else can gift you. Happiness is not something your wife can give you. Happiness is something your wife can celebrate and elevate with you.

 

Your children can celebrate and elevate with you. Happiness is something that you sit and you look at, you touch, you breathe. Happiness is something you  take a step away from and you look over there and say, what makes me happy? I just spent 32 days in Barcelona. You had to wait until I came back from Barcelona to make this happen.

 

And I went to Barcelona for to put my life in three buckets. To put my life in  the first bucket was makes me really happy and I want to live like I choose it. You know how you can get to a place where things are coasting? I don't want to coast. If I'm madly in love with the time that I spend with my grandmother, then I want to be madly in love with it when I see my grandma.

 

So last night before coming, getting on the plane and coming to you, I was in the living room dancing with my grandmother. I put on some of her favorite songs, you would be surprised. That my grandmother loves Tupac, NDRE, and Alicia Keys.  I don't understand it, but  she was like, which one are you gonna put on baby?

 

I haven't heard Tupac in a while    exactly. So she was, she    and I just danced with her in the living room. Cause that just brings a sense of joy. That's I can't explain. I can't explain what dancing with my grandmother does for me.    And the second bucket. So the first bucket is to choose what I want to, what I want in my life, what I love in my life, and then to re choose it powerfully and to let it be seen and evidence of how I show up with it, that I chose it and I choose it versus just coasting. The second bucket that  I put my life  in Barcelona was I choose this, but it needs modification. 

 

It needs modification, like I love it, but it needs modification because I'm tolerating some things in this experience that I would be happier if I didn't tolerate, but I love, I want it, I just need modifications. I need some things to shift. I need  some experiences in this experience to, to shift.

 

And then the third bucket was I choose to release it,  that our time is complete.    The experience of living in overwhelm, the experience of saying yes when I want to say no, the experience of wanting to be liked and loved by everybody, the experience of opening my doors to everyone   who knocks on the door and says I need to come in, the owning my no so that my yes can become more valuable. 

 

The experience of some people in my life that our season is complete. Like I, I put my entire life in three areas. I choose you. I choose you and I want to live like I chose you.  I choose you, but I need to adjust this experience so it can feel better for the both of us. At least for me, I don't know how you doing it, but I need it to feel better.

 

And then I choose to release this. Behaviors, thoughts, actions, and people. So I spent 32 days in Barcelona having that experience so that I can keep revisiting happy and stay in    and live and not expecting happiness to always be there as prevalent as those moments when I'm dancing with my grandmother. 

 

 And to allow it to be fluid and flexible in my life and to allow happiness to move away from me at times so I can honor it and own it more.   And not to expect and assume.  

SHAWN STEVENSON:
It makes so much sense.  I think that it's  ingrained in our culture because of movies and things like that. We have these very romantic ideas of,  for example, like the Jerry Maguire, you complete me  when we have two incomplete people getting together, it's going to be some serious drama  and not even putting that on another person and understanding that we're responsible for our own happiness. 

 

Thinking of those three buckets, we've been talking a lot, and I've brought on some of the top people in the world, just on exercising your NO muscle, right? So we talked with James Altucher, who wrote the book, The Power of No, instead of The Power of Now, and also Michael Hyatt, and talking about  having  those standards, because the reality is, I think one of our big issues is that we think we have more time than we do  and to really take advantage of our life and this human experience,   And to have our standards  for what we're willing to  take on, for what we're willing to accept and for  where we're headed.

 

And it's not that we don't love those situations, those people  the environment  it's still gratitude there, but  You can't take everybody with you as well and everybody doesn't want to come right,  And I used to have this kind of mentality of like we're not leaving till everybody's on the bus.

LISA NICHOLS:
I'm gonna help everybody I'm gonna help you help yourself, right? Yeah. Yeah,  and the reality   is When you look at it when you look at why we do what we do like I love the study of the human mind I love the study of behavior right  and when we say yes, we want to say no  when our ego flexes, when we, it comes from four areas is what  I've reduced.

 

And when you realize that these four areas are false  and they're just false illusions that you made real, then you operate differently. So whenever my students step on my campus, I say, listen, you're going to, it's going to take you years to get to here, but      let's talk about where we want to get to.

 

I want to get to a place where you have nothing to prove.  You have nothing to protect.  You have nothing to hide. And you have nothing to defend  now. Each one of those are big because we live in proving that we're smart enough, proving that we're good enough. Women, we want to prove that we're equal to men. 

 

Blacks want to prove that we're just as smart as that white guy.  It'll go, it goes across cultural lines. It goes across geographical lines. It goes across economic lines. We live in proving, but if you can begin and just start now, I don't know when you'll get there, but start now living like you have nothing to prove. 

 

There's an elevated sense of freedom. Then, if you can live like you have nothing to hide.  I, there are no secrets there. There are no skeletons in my closet because I opened the closet door and I dragged them all out and I brought them with me because when you get me, you get that. And I'm whole and complete with who I am.

 

Like I've fallen in love with the darkest part of myself. And when you can fall in love with the darkest part of yourself, your insecurities, your need to be loved, you need to be. Prove your need to be embraced     your lack of clarity, your dyslexia, your, if you can fall in love with the darkest part of yourself and bring him or her with you into every experience, not wearing it, not putting out in front of you, but just by the way,  I went on a date once and the first. part of the day. I said, so let me tell you the, all the stuff I don't want you to find out about me so I can not try to hide all that    and then  then he fell in love. Then I had to figure that out because I wasn't in love.    But if you can bring that with you, so there's nothing to hide.

 

The third is there's nothing to protect. There's nothing to protect. There's no image to protect.  Now that my brand is  a global brand  there's always this conversation of brand management and I go, let me.  Always be a part of that conversation with my PR rep, with my manager. Let me be a part because my version of brand protection and your idea of brand protection might be different and I'm committed to helping you see what's important to me. Because brand protection is not about hiding. Brand protection is not about defending. Brand protection is about standing in my authentic truth at all times.  So I have some health things. I hope we'll talk about that. I've had some health transition and that was a big deal conversation in my camp.

 

Like, how are you going to tell people and what's going to happen? And I was like, hold on. The truth is sexy. Yeah. The truth is so sexy. Oh my God. I'm so attracted to someone who says, so listen, here are my issues.  Now, if you can work with that, we're cool. 
If you want  don't try to hide them.

 

Just tell me what we're working with. And   and so nothing to prove, nothing, protect, nothing to hide and nothing to defend. There's nothing to defend. It sounds like a tough one. It is because our natural ego wants to defend.  Our ego will rise up and say, I got this. And it's your humanity and your humility and your servant leadership that will say, hold on.

 

I'll take care of this.  And when you can apologize and fall on the sword on behalf of your brother or your sister, when you can love the perceivingly unlovable, When you can love the perceivingly unlovable  and you can forgive the perceivingly unforgivable. That the society will give you permission to not forgive, you forgive it anyway.

 

That the society will tell you, you don't have to love that, you love it anyway. And you don't just love and forgive, you love and forgive out loud.  That's when you have an elevated sense of freedom.  And that's when you become a change agent. And   your life has a timeline, but your legacy doesn't. 

SHAWN STEVENSON:
I love that. Infinite. I feel that a big part of our   struggles to have happiness, to find success that we all really desire has to do with our lack of a sense of value  and I feel that we continuously undervalue ourselves, downgrade and degrade ourselves because we don't understand our inherent value.

 

And I would love if you could share any insights that you have on. How do we actually start to understand our value? Because I think that it's something that it's a epidemic right now. And people don't really understand how much they matter.      

LISA NICHOLS:
I believe that in this climate  and I think it happened before it existed before 15 years ago, 20 years ago   50 years ago, but now more than ever  we listen to the noise  that my, my grandmother says other people's perception of you ain't none of your business  that who you woke up as this morning has to be enough irregardless of the activities of the day. And so if you look at who do I see myself before anything else happens and my whole incomplete inside of my imperfection, especially with social media  you look for the likes    I was just saying    in the message I was delivering the other day in church.

 

Your job is to get up and like you,  and every other like on Facebook is bonus.  But you liked you first. And I think the journey to liking you, the journey to getting to that place, that's   where everyone's seeking. That's what people seek when they step on my campus. That's what people seek, and ideally we watch people get to that point when they've studied with us for a while. And what that looks like is if you want to know my opinion, the first thing to do is to become whole and complete with every decision you've ever made,  because  we're holding ourselves hostage to our past decisions, actions, behaviors, the things we did that we felt we shouldn't do and the things that we felt we should have taken a leap on that we didn't take a leap on. So one become whole and complete with all of your past decisions because when you know more, you do more and you made all your decisions based on what you knew at the time and you can't measure the man or woman you are based on the decision you made back then based on what you know now you didn't know then what you know now.

 

If I knew then at 29  what I know now at 51 Excitedly, my 51, I wouldn't have made those decisions, but I knew what I knew and so I did what I did based on what I knew. So one become whole and complete with your  with all your decisions to recognize that forgiveness is not about partnering anyone else in your life.

 

Decision is about opening up more internal real estate for love and possibility in yourself.  So I think forgiveness of yourself and forgiveness of others. So if you ask me the two things, one is to become whole and complete with your decisions and your actions from 20 years ago. Become whole and complete with those because you knew what you knew, that's why you did what you did.

 

And two, recognize that forgiveness  is not about partnering a behavior, it's not about giving  it's not about giving acceptance to what occurred. It's about opening up more real estate in your body. In your heart and in your soul for what's possible in the future because two things can't occupy the same space. So where there's hate anger shame blame there cannot be love and possibility  Those two things if you just focus on those two things.

 

Yeah, I can give you a list of 12 things Those two can keep you busy.  So laser focus. We're we often operate like a floodlight trying to cover a whole lot of ground when we should operate like a laser. Let me penetrate this. Let me master this. Let me heal this. Let me go back. When I decided to heal my, to forgive my son's father, that's all I worked on for a year.

 

That's every exercise I did was about him because I don't want to keep touching it for the next 10 years. Now I have a beautiful relationship with him. I spotlighted him at my conference. I call  he calls me on the phone.  He calls me on the phone. I put them on the mic system.

 

I spotlight him. He's written 14 books in prison. Like now I use them as the model example for get it done. No matter where you are  because I did the work, I forgave myself.  I was in an abusive relationship where my fiance at the time picked me up and threw me three feet across the room and then he choked me until I passed out.

 

13 years later, I ran into him at a conference. I used to, couldn't go to his state. I was so afraid that I would run into him and he's six, nine, 310 pounds. He was huge. So he was physically      imposing  as well as physically imposing in my life. And I did the work on him. I did the work on him for nine straight years.

 

Nine straight years. So when I ran into him, not ran into him, he came to my conference. So it was very intentional.  He came to ask for my forgiveness and I said, I needed to give myself life.  So I forgave you a long time ago for me. So you just need to forgive you because I already did the work. I had no angst or energy or anger around him.

 

I felt a little uncomfortable, but I had no, there was no residual anger because I love, I had to fall madly in love with Lisa. The woman  sitting here as simply the result of saying, what does it look like to fall madly in love with me and not in a bragging way, not in a way that spews onto other people in a way that I say every day, I'm gonna give myself a chance.

 

 Every day I get to press reset. I get to press reset a thousand times. And when I get to 999, I get to press reset on the reset button. And what happens if I did that? And so you're right. Valuing who I show up to be means   pardoning myself from all my choices that I've been judging and I've had shame around.

 

And then it also means forgiving myself and others  for the times in which their actions didn't align with mine. They're heart. I think it's those two things accepting and forgiving and those have been the two biggest things in my life. I do this exercise. I recommend if you're listening do this exercise.

 

I do this exercise called expose the lies.  I get a pencil. And a red pen and a lot of paper and in pencil, I write down every lie. I'm telling myself that don't nobody else here, but I know it because I'm with me and I write down all my lies around money, all my lies around relationship, all my lies around my, my, my physical appearance, all my lies around my family, all my, and I have a lot of them because the bigger you play, the more lies you have, by the way.

 

So don't get all caught up beating yourself up. If you only, if you have seven pages of lies, the bigger you play, the bigger your breakdowns. Bottom line. Just be okay with that. If you ain't having breakdowns, you ain't playing big enough. Your job is to walk through them breakdowns.   And people sitting on the couch every day, watching whatever, what housewives or somebody, they're not having a lot of breakdowns because they're not up to a lot.

 

That's okay. No judgment. So I would write down all my lies in pencil. And I was sitting  I'm crying, ugly crying down my lies. And  I put this in my first book,  writing down the lies, expose the lies in pencil, right down. Give me an example of a lie. Oh yeah. Money is hard to make. Yes. I can give you that poem.

 

Like I'll never have a long lasting love.    I make too much money for men to  to really see me as their equal and to really value me and to get into a loving relationship. My family will always think that I'm different because I travel the world and I'm around a lot of white people all the time. 

 

 Like all the stuff is   stupid stuff, but it's true. It's in your head. It's the chatter in your head, going on in your head all the time. 

SHAWN STEVENSON:
Yeah,   but we all tell ourselves these lies and to expose them.

 

LISA NICHOLS:
In your head they got a lot of power because they're just between these ears in your head. But in out here in the world, they're so small. You go  as you're writing the lie, you're laughing. Like I'll write the line and go, that's so stupid. But  it has value and power in your head.

 

So I've been doing this for years. All my students who step on my campus, I go, come on y'all, let's do expose the lies. And so we just  write in pencil. You write the lie in pencil and   you skip four lines. If it's on line paper or you skip a space, if it's on blank paper, and then you write another lie and we'll just sit quietly for  45 minutes.

 

Everybody's  Oh, I put on some like nice healing music. Cause you're going to feel like you're sludging through your mud. And then you feel like a fraud. Then you feel shame. Then you feel guilt and you write these lies and it feels ugly. Then I say, get out the red pen  and now write the truth.  And everyone gets stuck.

 

I don't know what the truth is. Okay. But you knew that was a lie  because you wrote it down. You chose it. You chose it as a lie. So that means there is a truth that exists out there somewhere. You don't have to believe the truth today.  But you know that there is a truth because you identified that as a lie.

 

So write the truth where you, whether you can own it now or not. So then everyone's writing the truth in red ink. Then I tell them for one day, read the lie and the truth, the lie and the truth together. Because neuro linguistic programming says that if you do an association, your mind will naturally  jump to the association.

 

So the last time you told yourself that lie, there was nothing there. to counter it with. But the next time after reading lie, truth, lie, truth, lie, truth, lie, truth, right? You do that. If you really want to cement it, you do it three times. The next time you read the lie, your brain will naturally see the truth in that red ink. 

 

It's juicy stuff. So then you read the lie, the truth, the lie, the truth, so that now you have an association with the truth. The next time the lie comes up, right? Then the final step is you take an eraser, a big eraser, and you  erase all the lies is written in pencil.  And so I do that. I would constantly do that.

 

I've done that exercise for  the last nine years. I'm consistent to do it. I used to do it once a month cause stuff would come up and now I do it like every eight, nine months. I just write, okay, what are my lies? What are my lies?  I'm in a new relationship. Okay, new lies just came up      and of course I'm in a relationship that's international.

 

So he's in another country. So I'm like, I can't make an international relationship work. Okay, that's the lie. Now. What do I need? What's the truth, right?  And the truth is I can make anything work because I have time, freedom, space, freedom, and financial freedom. What are you talking about chick?

 

SHAWN STEVENSON:
As we, and you said it  as you grow and evolve, it becomes more, you get more of that   VIG said more money, more problems  but really as we grow in and achieve more success, it's easy to start coasting and so to do this practice to keep yourself accountable so you can keep reaching your potential, which is limitless. 

 

I really love that. And    there's a term for that as well. It's called a crazier is where we work against our better judgment is where we work against our knowledge of what actually is truth. And so often we will fight. We will fight to protect our lives.   

LISA NICHOLS:
Break down the house, break down the relationships, break down the job  we will, it will all go to crap to protect 

SHAWN STEVENSON:
And time is what I want people to understand is that time is going to pass anyways.  So you might as well spend your time working on your truth than on the lie. 

LISA NICHOLS:
And the truth is sexy. The truth is attractive. If you look at my brand. My brand is not a brand of protection.  My brand is a brand of truth.

 

It's a brand of transparency Someone said what if they find this out about you? I said  if they tell the story wrong I'm gonna correct them and tell the story   like I don't know if you remember way back in the day You might not know I don't know how old  you may not know but way back in the day The Phil Donahue Show  used to come on    and Phil Donahue used to bust people out.

 

He loved busting people out. You'd have someone on stage saying, yeah   I stopped drinking 20 years ago and now I live a clean life. And then Phil said  you know what? We happen to have on the phone someone who was in the bar with you last week and   Phil Donahue would bust people out. And I always said I will never have a Phil Donahue moment because I'm going to sit on stage and said, I had a drink last week, but today is a new day.

 

Can I get a new chance?  That's who I choose to be, which is why I knew last year  at my conference, I stood in front of about 1100 people  between those who were live in my room and those who were online, and I shared the story of my health journey, and I shared my journey.  That I had surgery because  I wanted to share my truth and I wanted it to come from me.

 

And at the time I wasn't ready for it to be public. And I asked everyone in that conference, it was about 600 people in the room and about another   700 people online. I said, could we just keep this between us right now until I'm ready? Do you know it's been a year and a half, not one person has mentioned it online.

 

Isn't that amazing? When you share your truth. When you share your truth. And here's what, the last thing I want to share with you is people want to be convinced. They want growth and convenience. They want expansion and convenience. And the moment it becomes challenging, they want to quit.

 

My grandmother says, baby, she starts every sentence with baby.  I'm sure it's because she can't remember our names.  She says, baby, your conviction  And your convenience don't live on the same block.  She said, you have to be willing to be mildly, to moderately, to significantly inconvenience for that thing that you have a conviction for, that thing that you're passionate about, or at least tell the truth. 

 

And say, you really didn't want it in the first place, but don't sit here and complain and then quit when it gets hard. Because everything on the other side of your possible is everything on the other side of what you thought was possible is the impossible waiting to happen in your life. But you will never find your next best version of you sitting inside your comfort zone.

 

So I'm amazed at how many people come to me and they tell me the list of what they want. Then when I give them the what to do, they go  that's hard. And then I look at them  and you know me, I'm edgy. I just give them a look. I said. Did you think I was going to give you the easy route and I didn't and I don't know it for myself.

 

There's no easy in transformation, but   you can decide what you want to call difficult. See  I welcome challenging because I know when I do that thing I don't want to do and I say that thing I don't want to say, I access the woman I've always known myself to be.  

SHAWN STEVENSON:
Alright, I hope that you enjoyed that first segment.

 

We've got so much more goodness to come. And Lisa has been one of the biggest supporters of my work over the years, including with my latest project, the Eat Smarter Family Cookbook. That's another thing that we connect on very deeply is our love for our families. And actually, this is really cool. Right now, you can get your hands on my USA Today National Best Selling Cookbook. If you've already got a copy, you can get another copy for somebody that you care about. My friends at Organifi bought a couple hundred copies of the Eat Smarter Family Cookbook. So there's a limited amount and they're actually giving away free copies along with their amazing superfood kit that focuses on energy, recovery, And in particular, healthy skin for energy.

 

They've included the organic red juice blend. In addition to the berry blend, it includes blueberries that have been found to directly target fat cells according to researchers at the university of Michigan. And one of the other ingredients in this red juice blend is beets. And a study published in The Journal Of Applied Physiology show that drinking beet juice boosts stamina up to 16 percent during exercise and training.

 

Now this blend also includes. pomegranate and acai backed by tons of research as well. Now for recovery and better sleep, you'll get the organic gold blend. Now this is featuring turmeric that's been found to improve insulin sensitivity, reduce blood fats, and directly act upon. fat cells as well. Plus research published in the Journal of Ethnopharmacology points to turmeric's potential in reducing severity of both anxiety and depression.

 

Now for radiant skin and a healthier appearance, you're going to get the most amazing collagen blend in the world. It's derived from the very best and most bioavailable sources, and more and more science is coming out each day demonstrating how collagen supports metabolic health, skin health, helping to prevent fine lines and wrinkles, and unlike most collagen products, Organifi's collagen utilizes multiple forms of collagen.

 

Alright, this incredible trio is in the Organifi collection. Smarter kit and when you purchase this trio, you're going to get a free copy of my USA Today national bestselling book, the Eat Smarter Family Cookbook. It's an incredible gift and I'm so happy that they chose to do this. It's amazing and it really speaks volumes about the company itself.

 

I love those folks at Organifi. Go to organifi.com/smarterkit. That's ORGANIFI.COM/SMARTERKIT. All together is one word, smarter kit.  Head over there right now, grab their Superfood Trio, get a free copy of the Eat Smarter Family Cookbook and invest in your family's wellness.

 

Now moving on to our next segment with the amazing Lisa Nichols. In this segment, she's going to be talking about why it's time to make yourself a priority and a powerful mental shift to help you to actually do it. And she's going to start this segment off by addressing what holds people back. From creating the life that they truly want. 

 

Check out this next segment from New York Times bestselling author Lisa Nichols.  

 

LISA NICHOLS:
I'll start with the statement,  personal permission.  So I'm gonna start with that statement, and then I'm gonna follow it with holding themselves hostage to an old conversation and an old awareness and a familiar discomfort.

 

So much so that  it feels impossible to replace a familiar discomfort with an unfamiliar new possibility. Now, I'll give you some context to that. When we're sitting inside of a familiar discomfort, and by the way, discomfort isn't just from lack. Discomfort isn't just from fear. A discomfort could be, I know I've outgrown this place. 

 

Though you might be impressed with me, though I might have accolades and BAs and AAs and MBAs and PhDs or whatever I have, I've outgrown this season.  What I see most, I work a lot with leadership, women in leadership, men in leadership. And while leadership is beautiful, they've outgrown their current leadership and they've been there for a while.

 

But the reason why they haven't moved is because they're more committed to a familiar keyword is familiar, Shawn, familiar discomfort, which discomfort could also be you're ready to grow and you're not, then they are to an unfamiliar keyword is unfamiliar new possibility because one is familiar, even though   I don't really care for it anymore.

 

The other is unfamiliar and the unfamiliar, unknown, uncharted turf makes me hesitate. That's the number one reason that I see. is we want everything to be familiar. We want evidence before we go.  We want you to predict the future that I'm for sure going to make it before I take a step.  And you can't do that in new possibility.

 

You can project, you can strategize, you can action plan, you can get teamed up. And then you, at some level, you got to take the jump at the possibility that you'll fly. Or at the possibility that you'll fall. But most people want to ensure the fly so much that they never jump.  

 

SHAWN STEVENSON:
Oh my goodness. So that's, you just said something really powerful, which is.

 

We, we want to bring this Ms. Cleo vibe to it  to be able to say, I can see the future. I see what's going to happen and get that level of certainty before we act and truly, and you know this, you've been around some of the most successful people on planet earth. And it's really about going into the unknown.

 

That's what the most successful people are doing. 

 

LISA NICHOLS:
Yes. Being willing to take the risk on you,  being willing to take the risk on it, being willing to recognize that there is a chance.  We're trying to control the outcome and take away the chance. There is a chance. And so most of us want to be insured.

 

That's why entrepreneurs for 25 years ago, a lot of us were considered crazy because  there was no trapeze net, like you're flying with your family and the air   you probably heard it. You want to do these things and there's no net.   Here's the reality. Can you trust your fly  or can you trust your get up.

 

Now that's the thing is that most will think when they fall there's no get up I'm the difference between me and most and I'm not perfect. I'm still in this journey. Is that I trust my get up. I won't always say I'm a fly cuz Lord knows my failures these days Are six figures, seven figures and require an attorney and I still and they're big And when  i've been paying for the same poor decision for five years.

 

I've been paying for it. My attorney told me it was going to cost me 300 to 500, 000 to fix it. We're at 1. 7 million.  And so   you still fall. But if you're willing to trust your getup and most people are still wondering if they're get up or the other part, Shawn, is they're trying to protect the fall because they still wanna prove to someone that they won't fall.

 

So if you are in the proving, protecting, defending, or hiding business, hello, proving, protecting, defending, or hiding business, you're gonna hold yourself back all the time because you don't wanna show up as anything other than perfect.

SHAWN STEVENSON:
We gotta talk about those right there though. 

 

Prove, protect, offender, hide.

 

Okay, so the proving. A lot of us, of course, and this can be rooted in our childhood.  We're trying to prove to our  our parents, we are trying to prove to our friends  so I definitely see that one, but I want to talk more about the rest of those two because  those just hit my spirit.

LISA NICHOLS:
Yes,  prove, protect, hide or defend. So most of us grow into that naturally.  We don't even know that we naturally  graduate into it and you have to     you have to take yourself out of it with intensive. It's not a,  normal conscious thing to not have proof protective vendor hide inside your space.

 

So society sets us up to compete. Society sets us up to compare. Society sets us up unless you choose to opt out. I opt out. So when you talk about protecting.   You're protecting your perception of how the world needs to see you when  you're proving that you're smart enough, good enough, wise enough, when you're hiding, most people are constantly hiding their insecurities, you're hiding your  need  if you think your need is making you seem more vulnerable, you're hiding your vulnerability  that's why when you meet people, it's very difficult for them to open up and share immediately.

 

That's why our tribe is so delicious because we've learned how to open up and give me your real you faster, sooner, quicker, faster, right? But most people need to warm up for weeks and months because they're still hiding anything that they think may cause you to lose respect for them or not like them as much or not appreciate.

 

And these are unconscious hid hides, just so you know. People don't consciously do this, right? So prove, protect, hide, or defend.  A lot of us are defending an old limiting belief we had about ourselves or someone else had about us. We're defending it and who we're being now. So I have a friend who, when he was little, his mother told him  that don't wear white shirts cause you get too dirty.

 

Don't wear white shirts. You get too dirty. And as an adult, he says, I have  160 white shirts still defending the fact that I get to wear a white shirt. Like we operate as adults. Still defending, approving, protecting, or hiding even stuff that we've outgrown years ago.  And that comes from the place of needing to be enough, needing to be accepted.

 

I had someone the other day, my assistant reached out to her and was confirming something. And her response to, my assistant called her by her first name, we do first names in my company. And this woman's response to my assistant was, please address me as Miss. such and such. And if I wanted to talk to Lisa's assistant, I would have asked to talk to Lisa's assistant.

 

I prefer to talk to Lisa. My assistant, her feelings were hurt. What I took her to was before you live in hurt,  what is it that she needs?  And she said, confirmation and validation, I said, so what could be the lack she lacks being seen and being appreciated and being valued? I said, so let's give her what she needs.

 

So   my immediate response  to her an email was if my assistant  reaching out to you in any form made you feel dismissed.  I apologize.  Was it my agenda  in order for you to get put on my calendar? Okay.  It must go through my assistant cause she manages my calendar.  And so the first thing I did was gave  her need to be validated. 

 

So when you, and the, so the needs don't come up straight.      It's not a needy, it's not a needy portrayed need. It flexes an ego. It flexes and she go, it comes out and being a super sister soldier. It comes out and being a dynamic, strong brother. It comes out and saying, I don't need help. 

 

Cause you, you're still proving that you're good enough by yourself or you're still defending or protecting your fear of being abandoned. Do you know that a lot of people who say they don't need help? I don't want anyone to do it on my own. They're protecting their fear of being abandoned. Now it doesn't come up that way.

 

It comes up as strong by myself, long ranger, solo preneur, right?  Do it with myself, by myself, but really underneath all of those contracting behaviors. Every single contracting behavior is sourced with either need to prove, protect, defend, or hide. 

SHAWN STEVENSON:

Ah, this is so good, so powerful. These four, and I want to share this because you said something a little bit earlier about  being a rogue idea  25 years ago, if you're an entrepreneur, you're just like, they're out here. They're just  taking risks that while and now they need a safe job,  be responsible. And so for me, this was 20 years ago. Now it was knocking on the door 20 years. And I remember  I was still, I was in college at the time and I had this big revelation. My health had transformed. I was feeling good.

 

Now, people at my university were attracted to me and they're asking me for help. So   my professors, fellow students, and they start becoming my clients  so I became a strength and conditioning coach. And when I met this girl, so I was quote, talking to, I was dating this girl. And when she met me, I had a   J O B   sometimes just over broke  but  I had this job, I was working at the arena.

 

There at in our city and also, of course, I was a college student. So she, it checked her boxes. And so when I told her  yeah, she was asking like, so how's work going? I'm like  actually I stopped doing that. And I'm really focused on working in the gym. And she was like, Oh, so you have a hobby.

 

And I was like, Oh, what? No.   This is what I'm doing.  And so what it was for me in these four things, prove, protect, hiding, defending, none of those came up for me. And  I could see that how they could have been there, but this is what I want to ask you about.  What energy do we need to shift to?

 

So for me, it was my excitement.  It was my passion. It was my wanting to serve other people. Those were the energies that like, it actually made it so that even her statement today is, it was funny. Even then it was funny. It was like, Oh, you don't know.     What energy do we shift to?   

 

LISA NICHOLS:
So it is the energy of excitement, the energy of certainty that you can have certainty even   while you're developing the plan.

 

I'm not asking for certainty on the plan. I'm developing that. I have certainty on the outcome. Yes. So that energy of certainty is contagious. I remember I was doing an investor meeting early on. Now, mind you, my first company, 23 years ago  I measured by the age of my child. He was three years old when I started.

 

He's 26 now, three, 23 years ago, I was raising capital for my company. Mind you, I'm raising money for motivating the teen spirit. Teaching teens how to fall madly in love with themselves and how to make integrity based decisions. So I'm raising money to sell an intangible  called personal development to a body of people, teenagers between the age of 12 and 25 that we don't even know if they want to use the service.

 

Right? Think about it. So it was all uphill and no, by the way, I had no experience doing this. I just had a lot of passion and I didn't have a degree that said I increased my credibility uphill battle, but I'm on fire and I'm out there and I'm, and I have my shtick. And I gotta tell you, I can remember my shtick today.

 

Shawn. Hi. My name is Lisa Nichols. I'm the founder and creator of motivating the  teen spirit. We will teach teens how to fall madly and love themselves and how to make integrity based decisions. We're creating a training and development company that will transform teen lives one team at a time. We will be to the team  to the team community, what McDonald's is to the burger community.

 

Who do you know that wants to be a part of this?  I just have my little thing right? And so I was on fire. And the more I stepped into doing the work with teens, the more I was sold out.  On the work I could do with teens. So you gotta be sold out. And when I say a spirit and an energy of sold out, which means I'm inviting you to jump on board.

 

The train has already left the station. I'm not asking you to push the train. I'm inviting you to jump on the train. I'm stopping by to say, All aboard!  And the train's gonna leave with you or without you. So you can choose when you have that energy without saying that you don't have to say the trans gonna leave with you or without you.

 

That's all in context. That's all in movement. I remember I was doing an investor meeting. Now, mind you, Shawn, everything was stacked against me. Everything was stacked against me. I was young. I'm like 33 at the time. Jelani's  three years old at the time. I have no social proof evidence of what I'm going to do.

 

But I am working with teens a little bit. I only work with teens like two years at the time and I'm doing my shtick. And this engineer, I'll never forget his name, I'll never forget him, and he and his wife, he said, Ms. Nichols, my wife and I don't have children.  We consciously decided not to have children. 

 

We don't even know if we like children.  I kid you not, he said these words, he said, but you are so on fire and you're so sold out on what you're doing, I feel like it's our fiscal responsibility to be a part of what you're doing. And he invested 25, 000. And so when you talk about that energy is that energy of certainty and so much so Shawn, that you can say, we haven't figured out the entire path yet.

 

We're still developing our marketing plan. You can even speak to what you're in progress doing. And so  that energy of you didn't know,  you didn't know,  like an energy of certainty versus the energy of wonder. It's contagious and done in an authentic way, not in a way where you're trying to sell someone a shtick, not in a way where you're inauthentic, but in a way where you feel it in yourselves.

 

When I was in The Secret, I didn't even know this part of The Secret would become so famous when I said, I know   like I know. That just got, it got a Millions and millions of views that people would just cut that out and replay that. I didn't know it was going to do that. I was speaking of myself.

 

I was speaking of what got me there. I know   like I know, even without the physical evidence. Then I go back because what I do is I see the outcome with clear detail. I outline the outcome, I outline the deliverables, I outline the results, I outline what people are saying, I outline how they feel, I outline how their life is different.

 

And then I say  that's the outcome that I'm going to create. I reverse engineer everything I have to do to get myself there.  But I begin with the end in mind and I hold on to the end at all costs. 

SHAWN STEVENSON:
You know what?   This is powerful. I got it. We got to dive in deeper here. Because you just mentioned, so a lot of folks know you, obviously millions of people from seeing you in The Secret and this is a film that's really  focuses on the law of attraction.

 

But for some folks that can sound a little bit unrealistic, but what you just said was you got to dive in deeper on this. Your level, it's not just I think of this thing and it happens, your level of specificity is remarkable what you just talked about. So can you make this law make sense for people?

LISA NICHOLS:
Absolutely. I would love it. I went on tour for the next five years talking about how to make the law of attraction really work in your life because so many people said, Oh, I could just sit on the couch  and dream about it. I said, no, you're just gonna have a big butt dent. And that's literally what I said on stage for the next five years.

 

If you just sit and you just sit and believe and you focus on the mailbox and a check coming, you better do something to make someone want to pay you  like that. Don't forget that part. And so I said, the secret was 51 minutes of mindset. If we had another two and a half hours, we would have told you what you have to do when you get up.  

 

So  when you think about something, number one, I do guided visualizations because you've seen it already.  If you should get distracted, you have a visual to go  wait, hold on. This road goes due East. That's not going to get us to what we want due West because you've seen it already. If you don't have a navigational system, In your visualization, a navigational system in your intention, you can end up floundering and going, how did I end up here and how have I been here for the last three years?

 

I talked to people and coaching people all the time and said, I just  been just living there. Normally they live well, so it's not like they're suffering, but they are in the kids denying themselves of the future. They said they want it because they didn't see it clear enough. They didn't paint the picture.

 

They didn't say I wanted to be emerald green. So they ended up with the aqua blue and aqua blue is beautiful, but aqua blue is not the color you were going for. That   they end up in leadership, but they end up in leadership in an industry that they didn't want to lead in. So watch out that visualization and that certainty helps to navigate and then listen to your intuitive energy when you made a turn that will two nauticals East will end you up in the Bermuda versus Bahamas. Like just two nauticals   just a couple of yeses too many, or a couple of yeses for the wrong reason, or a couple of no's. Because you needed more detail. So understanding that and getting that feedback and letting the universe give you feedback when you got to stop, when you need to go, when you, when it's time to release, when it's time to hold on, when you're the leader, when you're the student, listening to that dialogue, listening to that energetic exchange to know when you're what. When you're where, when you need to pause.

 

I remember this gentleman said he wanted to invest 500, 000 in my company, but I needed to slow down to speed up.  I ended the conversation with them cause I didn't want to slow down. Three years later I said, ah, now I see what he meant. I needed to slow down back then. In order to speed up. He said it. I didn't see it. I didn't slow down and I went do nauticals to the wrong angle and then have to turn around and slow down and here. So I needed to in that moment be a student and a leader at the same time. I thought I was just leader, right? And so understanding and listening to that intuitive feedback and being willing to go back and go, hold on, let me press reset on that.

 

Hold on. Let me go back and let me reassess. Let me look at where I turned. I know exactly where I turned wrong. Three years ago. Know exactly where that turn was. And I know exactly what it cost me. And I'm okay with that. Cause I'm a sure shot. I'm willing to invest that learning lesson on me. I'mma come back no matter what. I'mma go back in. I'mma pay the price. I'mma learn the lesson. I'mma bring the lesson with me. So I don't fail. You don't fail. Only way you fail is if you get nothing out of it. Then you fail. But if you fell forward, then your next decisions are accumulative of all your previous lessons.

 

And that's all I say is, my next decision is accumulative of all my previous lessons. Good choices and the ones that taught me something. 

SHAWN STEVENSON:
I cannot let you go without asking you these two things.   Number one, what you're talking about right now requires some time and energy to work on yourself, to develop that self love and self care.

 

In my clinical practice, that was the number one reason people would give for not taking care of themselves, not exercising, whatever the case might be. I don't have the time.  Can you speak to that?  What advice can you give for folks who are in that paradigm that they don't have the time? And they're seeing that as a challenge from getting from where they are to where they want to be. 

LISA NICHOLS:
I'm going to ask you a question. Now, I'm going to say this in love  from a woman who spent 19 years  over  210 pounds.  Five years. Over 220.  So I don't say it from a place of judgment. I didn't even know clavicles existed until  . I was like, Claver who? Claver what? Claver where? That's the, that's this little part right here.

 

I heard it's supposed to hold a cup of water and when you're doing good, but anyway, I'm gonna ask you this. When you say you don't have enough time,  I'm gonna say  tomorrow you're going to get 24 hours in the day.  You know that   you're not going to get 23   you won't get 25.  So my question to you, sister,  my question to you, brother,  is when will you love you enough to give yourself just one of the 24?

 

You  don't run out of time.  You simply allocated all your time to someone that you put in front of you.  I'm going to follow it with this statement. I say it in love.  You will always as a leader,  as a game changer, as a gladiator, you will always have a long line of people waiting to be served by you. You will always, people will knock down your door to get in your line. 

 

Here's my question.  When will you put yourself at the front of your own line?  And I say that  because it took a doctor telling me  I was in Utah. My doctor called me on zoom  and said,  You are morbidly obese. You're over 220 pounds. You have severe sleep apnea and you travel over 258 days out the year. And when other people go to work to sit down to work, you go to work and get on stage and push out the little energy that you have from your sleep deprived body. 

 

Lisa, it's not a matter of if you're going to have a heart attack. It's a matter of when will you have it and where will you be? The doctor went on to say, will you be on stage in front of your audience? Will you be in the air on a plane? Will you be at home in front of your son Jelani? Or will you be in a hotel room by yourself?

 

I thought she was cruel. I thought she was cruel to make me have that kind of fear. And then she followed it with this.  She said, the only reason why I'm saying this to you this way  is because I've sat in your audience.  And I've experienced your gift  and I need to disrupt you enough to be radical.  And so  I'm not disrupting you or poking you for the sake of doing it.

 

It's because someone  is ready to be blessed by your gift. Someone is ready to be touched by your soul. Someone's ready. And until you handle the self care until you prioritize you, until you move to the front of your own line, the way I had to do.  You won't be able to give the world to all of you that you know you're to do.

 

And my grandmother just transitioned and my grandmother would say, baby, when you get my age, she was 92 years    and nine months when she  transitioned laid down to rest in peace and she's resting in peace cause she played full out. She said, baby, when you get my age, you're supposed to sit in your favorite rocking chair.

 

And I bought granny a good rocking chair, y'all.  And you're supposed to share the stories of your life.  She said, but baby, when you're your age.  You're supposed to do one thing,  do everything in your power to make sure that the story is going to be good to share.  You  are protecting your future memories of yourself.

 

Me being radical about my health, you getting radical about your health, you becoming non negotiable about your health is about protecting your future memories about yourself. That when you sit in that rocking chair, you want to look back and say, I played full out for me first.  And then I served everybody else from my overflow. 

 

That's your job.  That every day, that's your job every day. That's your job. And allow us to witness and be the beneficiaries  of you playing full out.  

SHAWN STEVENSON:
Thank you so much for tuning into this episode today. I hope that you got a lot of value out of this. This was food for the soul. If you want to share this nourishment for the mind, please share this out with somebody that you care about.

 

You can send this directly from the podcast app that you're listening on, send this directly as a DM, as a text message, or you can share this out with your friends, family, and community on social media. And of course, tag me. I'm @shawnmodel on Instagram, and I'm always checking in when new shows come out to see the love getting extended out there.

 

And that's what it's really all about. Sharing is truly caring. We've got some epic masterclasses and world class guests coming your way  very soon. So make sure to stay tuned. Take care. Have an amazing day. I'll talk with you soon.

 

And for more after the show, make sure to head over to themodelhealthshow.com.  That's where you can find all of the show notes. You can find transcriptions videos for each episode, and if you've got a comment, you can leave me a comment there as well. And please make sure to head over to iTunes and leave us a rating to let everybody know that the show is awesome and I appreciate that so much and take care. I promise, to keep giving you more powerful, empowering, great content to help you transform your life. Thanks for tuning in.

 

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