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TMHS 387: Reprogram Your Mind For Better Health And Success - With Guest Marisa Peer

Increase Your Sense Of Value & Stop Postponing Happiness

Scientist believe that approximately 50 percent of our happiness is genetically predetermined, while 10 percent is due to life circumstances, and 40 percent is the result of our own personal outlook. Whether or not you believe in genetic determinism, none of us can argue that our personal outlook (and in many ways our life circumstances) are within the power of our own hands to change.

Why, then, is happiness at a deficit today? With so much connection and so much opportunity, why has happiness become the exception and not the rule? There’s a relatively new field of science focusing on positive psychology and the underpinnings of what creates happiness from us. But nothing compares to the education that we get from someone who’s cracked the code on happiness personally. It’s the stories of success that really speak to hearts, and it’s the real world tools that help us to put what we learn into action.

Today you’re going to hear one of the most outstanding stories of how we can achieve happiness and success no matter what our circumstances have looked like. This person is an absolute superstar in so many different domains of personal development. She’s so good at it because she has been through it. I mean, really through it. And by braving her path, she’s figured out a thing or 20 that’s going to make an impact on your life for many years to come. Grateful, honored, and excited to share with you the incredible Lisa Nichols. Enjoy!

In this episode you’ll discover:

  • Why being broke is easier than being broken.
  • Why we need to welcome the things that makes us decide.
  • What it means to have “gifts wrapped in sandpaper.”
  • How to stop postponing your happiness.
  • Three “buckets” we can put our experiences in to bring us more fulfillment and success.
  • How having nothing to hide can free you from a lot of stress (and why the truth is sexy!).
  • How to increase our sense of value within ourselves (this is important!).
  • The life-threatening challenges that led Lisa to make one of the toughest decisions of her life.
  • Why shame can be one of the toughest burdens to carry.
  • How Lisa brings her healthy lifestyle with her (and how she changed the culture for the people around her).
  • Why it’s important to serve from your overflow.
  • How good health spills over into other areas of your life in a positive way.
  • Why it’s a MUST to “live like you know it“.
  • What simple exercise we can do to help flush out the false things we believe about ourselves.

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Items mentioned in this episode include:

Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Model Health Show. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute and leave a quick rating and review of the show on Apple Podcasts by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!

Transcript:

Shawn Stevenson:  Welcome to The Model Health Show. This is fitness and nutrition expert, Shawn Stevenson, and I've got a studio full of amazing people, my production team, because we've got a very, very special guest in the building. I'm very excited to introduce her to you today. 
 
Now you know a big part of transforming our body starts with transforming our minds, and so often people are pining away trying to find a new workout when they really need to work in, and this is really where our transformation ultimately is going to begin.  
 
And so that's why I always want to bring the best- absolute best people in the world to help you to really get your inner gain together. And today- I mean she is a true superstar in this field, so I'm very excited to introduce her to you. 
 
Now really quickly, I've got to give a shout-out to my drink this morning because it helped me dealing with some stress, dealing with some unexpected twists and turns in the morning, but I had Lion's Mane Tea.  
 
So the University of Malaya actually published a study finding that Lion's Mane does in fact have neuroprotective and neuroregenerative properties, so it literally has been found to support and protect the myelin that coats your nerve cells.  
 
Alright so we've talked about myelin on the show before, so myelin is basically the insulation that helps to kind of reaffirm and protect nerve pathways. So any activity that you're doing repeatedly, your body starts to lay down more myelin so that that process or that practice becomes automatic.  
 
Think about Steph Curry shooting a basketball the very first time he tried, which is probably close to my son Braden right now who's five. It starts with the underhand toss-up, and eventually I came to pick him up the other day and he was shooting overhand. Not very consistent, but over time it becomes automatic, and that's because more myelin gets laid down. 
 
So literally you've seen Steph Curry probably falling out of bounds with his eyes closed shooting a three and making it, and that's because of that myelin. 
 
And our brains are so amazing in its ability to automate behavior, however those things can get broken away, those things can get torn apart through damage, through toxic foods, through trauma. But Lion's Mane has the ability to protect your brain.  
 
So this is why I love it, because it's backed by science.  
 
Now here's the key. Four Sigmatic does a dual extraction of the Lion's Mane. So they're doing an alcohol extraction and a hot water extraction. Most companies just do one, so they're not getting all of the beta-glucans, all the polysaccharides, all the terpenes, all the different compounds that are unique in different extraction methods.  
 
You're getting all of it plus it tastes really good. And so here's how I like to do it, this is what I did today. I had strawberry emulsified MCT oil, a little bit of grass-fed butter, hot water, and I did a couple drops of some chocolate Stevia along with the- you know chocolate strawberry vibe to it, and the Four Sigmatic tea.  
 
And it was fantastic, and I'm still feeling that just wholesome feel in my body.  
 
So if you're not using them already, head over there and check them out. It's www.FourSigmatic.com/model and you're going to get an exclusive 15% off all of their incredible mushroom coffees and mushroom elixirs, so head over and check them out. 
 
And now let me get to the iTunes review of the week.  
 
So this review is from SinderChola on iTunes, and it's a five star review. And it says, 'I'm so glad I found you. I've been listening to your show for about half a year and I'm already caught up now.  
 
I just finished listening to the coconut oil episode and yes! Useful, practical, smart knowledge I used going ape in my conversation recently and chuckled to myself because you guys speak to me. 
 
Your podcast along with my FitBit and yoga practice has enabled me to have an 8.5 pound weight loss since March of this year. Keep up the fantastic, positive work.' 
 
Thank you so much for leaving us that review. I truly, truly do appreciate it. And wow, just you should be so proud of yourself for the progress, that's what it's really about.  
 
It's progress, not perfection, and I'm incredibly proud of you and just grateful for you taking the time to leave a review.  
 
And everybody, if you've yet to do so, make sure to head over to iTunes and leave us that review. I truly, truly appreciate it, and hopefully we can get you featured on the show as the review of the week at some point. 
 
And on that note, let me get to our special guest who is in the building with me today. 
 
My guest today is the one and only, Lisa Nichols, and she is one of the world's more requested motivational speakers as well as a media personality, corporate CEO whose global platform has reached and served thirty million people. 
 
And Lisa's courage and determination has inspired fans worldwide and helped countless audiences break through to discover their own untapped talents and potential.  
 
As founder and Chief Executive Officer of Motivating the Masses Inc., now listen to this, this is so amazing. This is one of the country's only publicly traded personal and business development training companies.  
 
Publicly traded company this amazing human started, and she's also the author of seven bestselling books, and she's appeared on Oprah, The Today Show, The Steve Harvey Show just to name a few, and now she's here on The Model Health Show to share her insights with you, and I'd like to welcome Lisa Nichols. How are you doing today, Lisa? 
 
Lisa Nichols:  I'm grateful to be here. I'm loving the content. I'm here going, 'I've got to write this stuff down,' but I'll look at the video. So thank you for having me, Shawn. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  It's my pleasure. I'm so grateful for you taking the time to be here with me. And I would love for you to just start with your superhero origin story.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  Oh my gosh. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  You know, let people know how you got here. Where did you get started? 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Yeah, you know it started far away from here not just geographically; emotionally, spiritually, financially. I started the journey of self-development to save my own life.  
 
I started the journey of human potential development to find out who I was. I felt like I was seeing a version of me, but I wasn't seeing all of me. 
 
You know you said something very critical in the opening, you talked about it's an inner game. And I knew that my external circumstances in 1994 if I pick a year. I could pick '92, I could pick '97, because there was a period of time. There wasn't a moment, there was a period of time. 
 
But in 1994 if I pick a moment, I was broke and broken, and I knew that being broke was easier than being broken. Being broke I just needed to go find out how to make money. Being broken, I needed to find the willpower and the desire to get up, and the belief in myself to tell someone I was worthy of being paid. 
 
That was the hardest journey. And I had my son in 1994 which was a combination of the most beautiful time in my life and the lowest point in my life because it was the time that I had something outside of me, my child, something that I saw my heart for the first time outside of my chest, and I was willing to kill away my ego or my 'she-go' for this child, and I had to eight months after he was born when I had to go get on government assistance.  
 
And I had to stand in the line and ask someone to help me pay my bills, and to help me feed my child, and it was one of the most humbling experiences of my life because I was very independent. I'd been working since I was fourteen, and at 28 I just hit a place that I didn't know was rock bottom until I kept feeling something on my back going, 'I think that's the bottom of circumstances.' 
 
And one of those circumstances was when he was eight months old, I ran out of Pampers, and I went to the ATM to get $20 out to get my son Jelani Pampers, and it said 'Insufficient Funds.'  
 
And I was just saying the other day, I was delivering a sermon at a church and I said, "I was interviewed 155 times in a five month period because I was the first woman in the self-development industry to get paid a million dollars to write one book." 
 
And it just created a lot of buzz, and I'm very grateful for it, and everyone kept asking me the same question, "What did you do? What did you do? What was the moment? 
What was the moment?"  
 
And everyone was looking for a moment, so I started looking for a moment like, 'What was the moment?' because it wasn't a moment. But if I had to give it a moment, I said to a lot of people that interviewed me, I said, "Listen." I said, "I don't know if you remember that thing that made you decide, but I remember that thing that made me decide. It said $11.42."  
 
I looked at that balance, and it was at 7-Eleven, I'll never forget. That's how broken my life was, I was banking at 7-Eleven. I was just going to the ATM paying all the extra charges because I didn't even want to go to the bank, I knew I had some insufficient checks there.  
 
So just everything was in chaos and I saw $11.42. And I didn't know at the time that that was my moment, but when I look back at it because everyone kept asking me, "What was the moment?" The thing that comes to my head was $11.42, and then what happened after that, I had to wrap my son Jelani in a series of towels for two days.  
 
And someone asked me at another occasion, because every time I tell the story, tears come up, and they said, "You've told the story so much, do you ever just like make the tears come up to make the moment more important?" I said, "No, I'm a mama." 
 
Every time I tell the story, I'm a mama who had to wrap her son in a towel for two days. I don't get excited about telling the story, but I owe you the story because you see public company, I run a multi-million dollar business, I travel the world, I inspire people, I life a first class life, but you want to know more importantly how did I get there and what was the inspiration? 
 
$11.42 was my moment, and I didn't know how to get out of it, it didn't happen overnight when I decided, 'I'm done.' The ceiling didn't open up, and lights didn't come down, and angels singing, and all of a sudden everything got great. 
 
No, nothing changed in my life but my mind. I was bankrupt. And I love to use the word bankrupt because bankrupt means there ain't nothing left. I'm done with this version, I'm ready to press reset. I was bankrupt with being broken. Broken.  
 
So I began to search, I became an explorer. And I wasn't- in school I was a C average student. I never got above a C+. I wasn't extraordinary in anything except for track.  
 
I've just got to say I was state champion for the record. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Let's go, let's go. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  You know I held the 330 hurdle records for eighteen years at my high school, I'm just going to say, but academically I didn't surpass anything other than average. Academically I struggled for twelve years in school. 
 
I was considered right above special ed. I found out in my twenties that it was primarily because I'm severely dyslexic. But I didn't know- now I use my dyslexia for my advantage. 
 
I teach holistically, I go both directions when I teach, right? But then I didn't know. 
 
And so $11.42, wrapping my son in towels until I can afford to buy new Pampers was my moment, and then I became an explorer of information. 
 
I knew that if my external circumstance was going to change, I had to learn what I didn't know. I had to learn what I didn't know because I was already using everything I knew, and what I knew was getting me what I was receiving. 
 
So apparently people must know something I don't know, and I was just literally someone who didn't- listen the last time I took an English class, I got a fail. The last time I took a speech class, I got a D- and my English teacher told me I was the weakest writer she had ever met in her entire life in front of the entire class. And my speech teacher said, "Miss Nichols, I recommend that you never speak in public, that you get a desk job." 
 
I kid you not, I kid you not, I kid you not. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Crazy, crazy. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  So I had no confirmation of who I could become other than my mom and my dad, and they were just like, "Look have a good life and don't struggle too much," you know what I mean? 
 
It wasn't like, "You can have everything!" It was just, "Don't struggle too much." 
 
And when I told my dad I wanted to be a motivational speaker, he was like, "Well what is that? Is that a real job? Does that come with benefits? Do you get vacation? Can you feed your baby on that?" 
 
Like it wasn't even a created environment. Nowadays, now it's getting hot, it's popular, but it didn't come with instructions. So I was bankrupt in who I had become, so I was willing to reinvent Lisa. I was willing to kill away any part of Lisa that was going to hold me back from being the woman that I hadn't even met yet. 
 
That's a big statement because when you kill away, that means you have to sign up for being in constant disruption for a very long time, and you also have to sign up to walk by yourself for a very long time possibly.  
 
And so I was okay with that. I was okay with that. It was scary but I knew that I could not sentence myself and my son to a future that looked and resembled this.  
 
So I got a glimpse in a very real way at 7-Eleven, $11.42, of the life I wasn't willing to live and the future I wasn't willing to repeat. 
 
So all I kept looking for were new experiences that didn't repeat this, new experiences that didn't look like this. And the further away from what I knew I could get- and I wasn't physically away, I was still living in Englewood. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Englewood. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  You know, I was still driving down Martin Luther Boulevard. Right, 
Englewood. I'm still driving my same little citation. I had a car that was so old it didn't have two seats, it had the one seat. Remember them old cars that had the one seat? 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah we drove one of them, too. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  My grandmother. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Right, my grandmother.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  My grandmother had the car and it was a hand-me-down, hand-medown, and I was grateful for it. I couldn't turn left, and when I turned left it got stuck, and then it came unstuck, and then it was dangerous everything on the left side because the car would swerve.  
 
And I was okay with that, I was going to drive that bucket to my future if I needed to. I was okay with disrupting everything for the sake of something unfamiliar and unfamiliar possibility.  
 
Now I want to be clear, I wasn't running from my past, I bring it with me. That's how you know. You know about it in my books, you know about it when I'm on stage. I'm okay on all of Lisa, every single aspect of Lisa. 
 
Eight months after that moment, my son's father went to prison. And my son is 23 and my son's father is still in prison today.  
 
And I had the journey of pulling the blessing out of that and understanding what was that about, and finding forgiveness in my heart, and not using that as a crutch. 
 
And so I had all these beautiful gifts that came wrapped in sandpaper. I had beautiful gifts, beautiful gifts that came wrapped in sandpaper, and some took me a month to understand, and some took me ten years to get to the gift because the sandpaper was so thick. 
 
And so that's who I am. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Wow, this is just- there are certain things I've heard some of your story before obviously, but there are certain things that you just expressed that is so interesting because I do the same exact thing. 
 
Oftentimes we think there's this moment when something magical happens, but it's a process. And you actually did the thing that I do, which is- I've never heard anybody else do this, but I was diagnosed with this so-called incurable condition with my spine when I was twenty years old, and that was really my rock bottom.  
 
And I proceeded to gain a lot of weight, and dabble into depression, and just really losing a sense of purpose because my identity was like, 'I'm going to complete school, I'm going to be successful,' and now I've just lost everything, even the ability to pay my own bills.  
 
And when I finally decided to get well, which is the key, and so many people look past that. It's mostly like, 'I'll give this a try, we'll see what happens. I wish this would change.' 
 
But I really decided that no matter what, I'm going to get well. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  You had certainty. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Exactly. And that happened instantly, but it's not like the clouds parted, you did the- 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Angels sing, right. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  That's what I do when I'm telling my story. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Right. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  And unicorns didn't come out, none of that, but the awakening process happened and it was- I just asked my wife recently who happens to be in the studio here today looking so good. 
 
I asked her, "When we first met, did I tell you my story?" And she was like, "No you didn't. It was just kind of like you told me pieces like this thing happened, and you started to do this." 
 
But the story was still unfolding, and it wasn't until I met her, and then several years after when I actually saw that's when the transformation took place. 
 
So I love that that you can- and also bringing the past with you. It's not like you cut ties, it's who you are.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  I need that. That's the soil that this- Lisa grew from that soil. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  I love that. You know, one of the things that I'm also hearing in this story is something that we often do, which you made the decision to follow a path to find happiness, and to find success, but so many of us postpone happiness. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Right. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Can you talk a little bit about that? 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Absolutely. We wait for a moment in time, something has to happen in order for us to be happy. And to me, happy isn't something that you go and find. You can't Google download happy. Happy grows from you, happy grows from a moment, and happiness isn't something you arrive at, and it's a destination that you stay at. 
 
Happiness is something that you seek to evoke, and emanate, and grow, and experience, and touch as much as possible, and you're willing to leave it to revisit it.  
 
I think- because happiness comes in freedom. Whenever something is rigid and it has to stay, then you just left happiness because now you have to stay in happiness. 
Happiness is a place that you move in and out of, it expands and it contracts with you. Happiness is something you can measure.  
 
I always say I'm as happy when I look at my child, I'm as happy as his saddest day sometimes because he's my heart outside of me.  
 
And so then I detach, I left him define his happiness, and I watch. But there's never a moment when I'm not connected to my child. And so if he's going through dark, there's a part of me that is always with him.  
 
And happiness is not something that someone else can get you. Happiness is not something your wife can give you, happiness is something your wife can celebrate and elevate with you, your children can celebrate and elevate with you. Happiness is something that you sit and you look at, you touch, you breathe.  
 
Happiness is something you take a step away from, and you look over there and say, 'What makes me happy?' 
 
I just spent 32 days in Barcelona, you had to wait until I came back from Barcelona to make this happen. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  And I went to Barcelona to put my life in three buckets. To put my life in- the first bucket was, 'This makes me really happy and I want to live like I choose it.'  
You know how you can get to a place where things are coasting? 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yes. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  I don't want to coast. If I'm madly in love with the time that I spend with my grandmother, then I want to be madly in love with it when I see my grandma.  
 
So last night before getting on the plane and coming to you, I was in the living room dancing with my grandmother. I put on some of her favorite songs- you would be surprised that my grandmother loves Tupac, India.Arie, and Alicia Keys. I don't understand it.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Hey, no judgment zone. Go ahead, Grandma. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Right, right. My grandmother, she was like, "Which one are you going to put on, baby? I haven't heard Tupac in awhile." 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  'I'm a straight rider.' 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Right, right, right exactly. So she- and I just danced with her in the living room because that just brings a sense of joy that I can't explain. I can't explain what dancing with my grandmother does for me. 
 
And the second bucket- so the first bucket is to choose what I want in my life, what I love in my life, and then to re-choose it powerfully and to let it be seen in evidence of how I show up with it, that I chose it, and I choose it versus just coasting. 
 
The second bucket that I put my life in in Barcelona was, 'I choose this but it needs modification.' It needs modification. Like I love it but it needs modification because I'm tolerating some things in this experience that I would be happier if I didn't tolerate. 
 
But I want it, I just need modifications. I need some things to shift. I need some experiences in this experience to shift. 
 
And then the third bucket was, 'I choose to release it, that our time is complete.' The experience of living in overwhelm. The experience of saying yes when I want to say no. The experience of wanting to be liked and loved by everybody. The experience of opening my doors to everyone who knocks on the door and says, "I need to come in." The owning my 'no' so that my 'yes' can become more valuable. The experience of some people in my life, that our season is complete. 
 
Like I put my entire life in three areas. 'I choose you. I choose you, and I want to live like I chose you.'  
 
'I choose you, but I need to adjust this experience so it can feel better for the both of us. At least for me. I don't know how you're doing, but I need it to feel better.' 
 
And then, 'I choose to release this. Behaviors, thoughts, actions, and people.' 
 
So I spent 32 days in Barcelona having that experience so that I can keep revisiting happy, and stay in, and live, and not expecting happiness to always be there as prevalent as those moments when I'm dancing with my grandmother. And to allow it to be fluid and flexible in my life, and to allow happiness to move away from me at times so I can honor it and own it more, and not to expect and assume.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  It makes so much sense. I think that it's kind of ingrained in our culture because of movies and things like that, we have these very romantic ideas of- 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Oh yeah. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  For example like the Jerry Maguire, "You complete me." 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Yes, yes. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  When we have two incomplete people getting together there's going to be some serious drama. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Right, right, right. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  And not even putting that on another person, and understanding that we're responsible for our own happiness. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  We won't find perfection. You said it earlier, I loved it. We won't ever find perfection and it's a false hope that always leaves you lacking something. But if you can find and discover how to perfectly work with your imperfection.  
 
And what I've done, and some days better than most, other days not, is I've learned how to dance inside my imperfections.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  I like that.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  And so I loved when you opened with that, I loved it. I was like, 'Yeah.' Because it allows us to be more gracious with ourselves.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  I love those three buckets. It reminded me of The Bozo Show. Do you remember that? 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Yeah. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  There was like the little game at the end. I was like, "I'm going to get on there one day" when I was five. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  "And I'm going to get the little ball in the bucket." 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah, and then the show of course was cancelled shortly thereafter. But thinking of those three buckets, we've been talking a lot, and I've brought on some of the top people in the world just on exercising your 'no' muscle.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  Yes.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Right so we talked with James Altucher who wrote the book 
'The Power of No' instead of 'The Power of Now.' 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Yes. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  And also Michael Hyatt in talking about having those standard. Because the reality is I think one of our big issues is that we think we have more time than we do, and to really take advantage of our life and this human experience.  
 
And to have our standards for what we're willing to take on, for what we're willing to accept, and for where we're headed. 
 
And it's not that we don't love those situations, those people, the environment. It's still gratitude there, but you can't take everybody with you as well, and everybody doesn't want to come.  
 
And I used to have this kind of mentality of like, 'We're not leaving until everybody's on the bus.' 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Right, 'I'm going to help everybody. I'm going to help you help yourself.' Yeah and the reality is when you look at why we do what we do, like I love the study of the human mind. I love the study of behavior. Right? And when we say yes when we want to say no, when our ego flexes, it comes from four areas is what I've reduced. 
 
And when you realize that these four areas are false, and they're just false illusions that you made real, then you operate differently.  
 
So whenever my students step on my campus I say, "Listen it's going to take you years to get to here, but let's talk about where we want to get you. We want to get to a place where you have nothing to prove, you have nothing to protect, you have nothing to hide, and you have nothing to defend."  
 
Now each one of those are big because we live in proving that we're smart enough, proving that we're good enough. Women, we want to prove that we're equal to men. Blacks want to prove that we're just as smart as that white guy. I mean it goes across cultural lines, it goes across geographical lines, it goes across economic lines.  
 
We live and prove it, but if you can begin- and it's just start now. I don't know when you'll get there, but start now living life. You have nothing to prove. There's an elevated sense of freedom. 
 
Then if you can live like you have nothing to hide, like there are no secrets. There are no skeletons in my closet because I opened the closet door and I dragged them all out, and I brought them with me because when you get me, you get that, and I'm whole and complete with who I am.  
 
Like I've fallen in love with the darkest part of myself, and when you can fall in love with the darkest part of yourself, your insecurities, your need to be loved, your need to be approved, your need to be embraced, your lack of clarity, your dyslexia; if you can fall in love with the darkest part of yourself and bring him or her with you into every experience not wearing it, not putting it out in front of you, but just, 'By the way.' 
 
I went on a date once, and the first part of it I said, "So let me tell you all the stuff I don't want you to find out about me so I can not try to hide all that." You know? 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Right and then he fell in love and then I had to figure that out because I wasn't in love. But if you can bring that with you so there's nothing to hide.  
 
The third is there's nothing to protect. There's nothing to protect. There's no image to protect. Now that my brand is a global brand, there's always this conversation of brand management and I go, 'Let me always be a part of that conversation with my PR rep, with my manager.' 
 
Let me be a part because my version of brand protection and your idea of brand protection might be different, and I'm committed to helping you see what's important to me because brand protection is not about hiding, brand protection is not about defending. Brand protection is about standing in my authentic truth at all times. You know? 
 
So I have some health things, I hope we'll talk about that.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  I've got some health transition and that was a big deal conversation in my camp like, 'How are you going to tell people? And what's going to happen?' And I was like, 'Hold on. The truth is sexy.' 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yes! 
 
Lisa Nichols:  The truth is so sexy, oh my God I'm so attracted to someone who says, "Listen, here are my issues. Now if you can work with that, we're cool." 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yes. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Like if you want- don't try to hide them, just tell me what we're working with. And so nothing to prove, nothing to protect, nothing to hide, and nothing to defend. There's nothing to defend. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Oh this sounds like a tough one. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  It is because our natural ego wants to defend. Our ego will rise up and say, 'I've got this,' and it's your humanity, and your humility, and your servant leadership that will say, 'Hold on, I'll take care of this.' 
 
And when you can apologize and fall on the sword on behalf of your brother, your sister, when you can love the perseveringly unlovable. When you can love the perseveringly unlovable and you can forgive the perseveringly unforgivable.  
 
That the society will give you permission to not forgive, you forgive it anyway. That the society will tell you, 'You don't have to love that,' you love it anyway. And you don't just love and forgive, you love and forgive out loud. 
 
That's when you have an elevated sense of freedom, and that's when you become a change agent, and your life has a timeline, but your legacy doesn't. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Oh I love that. Infinite. You know, what I want to do is help people to get to that place where they can employ these insights a little more readily. So I'm going to talk about that, and also your transformation too, I want to talk about that as well, and we're going to do that right after this quick break so sit tight and we'll be right back. 
 
Alright we are back and I am talking with the one and only Lisa Nichols, and we were just going through some of her incredible insights on how to really make some changes to our inner game, to really enjoy our life more, to really experience more success and happiness and health.  
 
And I feel that a big part of our struggles to have happiness, to find success that we all really desire has to do with our lack of a sense of value. You know? 
 
And I feel that we continuously undervalue ourselves, downgrade and degrade ourselves because we don't understand our inherent value. And I would love if you could share any insights that you have on how do we actually start to understand our value?  
 
Because I think that it's something that's an epidemic right now, people don't really understand how much they matter. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Right. Well I believe that in this climate, and I think it happened- it existed before, fifteen years ago, twenty years ago, fifty years ago, but now more than ever we listen to the noise that- my grandmother says other people's perception of you ain't none of your business. 
 
That who you woke up as this morning has to be enough irregardless of the activities of the day. And so if you look at who do I see myself before anything happens, am I whole and complete inside of my imperfections? 
 
Especially with social media, you look for the 'likes.' You know?  
 
I was just saying in the message I was delivering the other day in church that my job- your job is to get up and like you, and every other 'like' on Facebook is bonus. But you liked you first. 
 
And I think the journey to liking you, the journey to getting to that place, that's what everyone is seeking. That's what people seek when they step on my campus. That's what people seek and ideally we watch people get to that point when they study with us for awhile.  
 
And what that looks like is if you want to know- in my opinion the first thing to do is to become whole and complete with every decision you've ever made. Because we're holding ourselves hostage to our past decisions, actions, behaviors, the things we did that we felt we shouldn't do, and the things that we felt we should have taken a leap on that we didn't take a leap on. 
 
So one, become whole and complete with all of your past decisions because when you know more you do more, and you made all your decisions based on what you knew at the time, and you can't measure the man or the woman you are based on the decision you made back then based on what you know now. You didn't know then what you know now.  
 
If I knew then at 29 what I know now at 51, excitedly my 51, I wouldn't have made those decisions, but I knew what I knew and so I did what I did based on what I knew.  
 
So one, become whole and complete with all your decisions. Two, recognize that forgiveness is not about pardoning anyone else in your life. The decision is about opening up more internal real estate for love and possibility in yourself. 
 
So I think forgiveness of yourself and forgiveness of others. So if you ask me the two things, one is to become whole and complete with your decisions and your actions from twenty years ago. Become whole and complete with those because you knew what you knew, that's why you did what you did. 
 
And two, recognize that forgiveness, it's not about pardoning a behavior, it's not about giving acceptance to what occurred, it's about opening up more real estate in your body, in your heart, and in your soul for what's possible in the future because two things can't occupy the same space. 
 
So where there's hate, anger, shame, blame, there cannot be love and possibility. Those two things, if you just focus on those two things.  
 
Yeah I can give you a list of twelve things, but those two can keep you busy. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Right, yes. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  So laser focus. We often operate like a floodlight trying to cover a whole lot of ground when we should operate like a laser. Let me penetrate this. Let me master this, let me heal this, let me go back.  
 
When I decided to forgive my son's father, that's all I worked on for a year. Every exercise I did was about him because I didn't want to keep touching it for the next ten years. 
 
Now I have a beautiful relationship with him. I spotlighted him at my conference, he calls me on the phone, I tell him- from prison. He calls me on the phone, I put him on the mic system, I spotlight him. He's written fourteen books in prison. Like now I use him as the model example for get it done no matter where you are.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Because I did the work, I forgave myself. I was in an abusive relationship where my fiancé at the time picked me up and threw me three feet across the room, and then he choked me until I passed out.  
 
Thirteen years later I ran into him at a conference. I used to couldn't go to his state, I was so afraid that I would run into him. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  And he's 6'9" 310 pounds, he was huge so he was physically- 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Imposing. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Imposing as well as physically imposing in my life. And I did the work on him. I did the work on him for nine straight years. Nine straight years.  
 
So when I ran into him- not ran into him, he came to my conference so it was very intentional, he came to ask for my forgiveness and I said, "I needed to give myself life, so I forgave you a long time ago for me, so you just need to forgive you because I already did the work." 
 
I had no angst or energy or anger around him. I felt a little uncomfortable, but I had no- there was no residual anger because I love- I had to fall madly in love with Lisa. The woman you see sitting here is simply the result of saying, 'What does it look like to fall madly in love with me?' 
 
And not in a bragging way, not in a way that spews onto other people, in a way that I say every day I'm going to give myself a chance. Every day. Every day I get to press reset. I get to press reset 1,000 times, and when I get to 999, I get to press reset on the reset button. And what happens if I did that?  
 
And so you're right valuing who I show up to be means pardoning myself from all my choices that I've been judging and I've had shame around. And then it also means forgiving myself and others for the times in which their actions didn't align with their heart. 
 
I think it's those two things, accepting and forgiving, and those have been the two biggest things in my life. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  You know when I asked you that question, I had no idea you were going to bring up forgiveness, but it makes complete sense and you just broke it down why. I love the quote from Nelson Mandela when he says that, 'Carrying resentment is like drinking poison and expecting it to kill your enemies.' 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Exactly. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  And so often we don't really- because you don't know what you don't know, you're not paying attention to it, we're carrying around this toxicity because we're carrying around hatred, resentment. 'Why me? Why'd they do this to me?' 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Shame, blame, anger. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  And it's not that it's not real, it's not that it didn't happen, but we need to free ourselves. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Right, right. Energy grows where energy goes, and if you give that energy, that just grows. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah I'm so glad that you brought that up, and please everybody listening, make sure to take heed. And she said it also, this is a practice. 
 
You know sometimes forgiveness can happen in a smaller time period, but sometimes it really does take a practice, and continuing to bring it back up, and working on it, and I'm so glad you brought that up as well.  
 
Now you also, when you were talking you said 51 years old, I about choked on my swallow because I can't believe that you look so good. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Absolutely, thank you.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Now I think it was maybe somewhere around ten years ago I first saw you in The Secret, in the movie The Secret. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Yeah it was about ten years ago. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  My mother-in-law gave us the movie and I remember seeing it.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  You have a good mother-in-law. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah she is, she's the best. She's the best. And so you've had a physical transformation as well. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  I have.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  And I know that you mentioned earlier that even changing what's going on with your company in response to that transformation. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Yes. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  So I'd love to hear like what was the catalyst for you to make this transformation real? 
 
Lisa Nichols:  It was- it's not a beautiful story. It's not, 'I decided one day I needed to change.' It's not, it's not beautiful. And I've got to tell you that this is the largest platform that I would share this in thus far.  
 
I know that I'm being called to share the story because I think that I will have a part in leading particularly women who are dealing with obesity to move away from that space, I believe.  
 
I'm not choosing that, I'm going to be very clear, but I am obedient. And so it just keeps coming up more and more and more. I find myself hearing your show and on other shows, and yesterday and the day before I was in Hollywood meeting with television producers and executives, and the question is am I willing? 
 
Am I willing to share the story? Am I willing to go to this place? My transformation came out of a severe sense of medical need, so what most people don't know about me is while I was making the seven bestsellers either as a contributing author or as a solo author, during that exact same time from 2000 to 2015 I was dealing with private medical hell. 
 
And you know, medical diagnoses and medical challenges are not something that will find their way to the stage, or to your books, or to your conversation effortlessly because they're so private.  
 
And I don't ever talk about a battle that I'm still fighting.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Interesting. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  I don't discuss battles that I'm still fighting. I get to the other side and find out what was the lesson I was supposed to learn? What was the defeat that I had, or what was the victory I created, and how did I get into that battle, and how'd I 
get out? Now let's talk about it.  
 
So I'm not one to- because I don't have a 360 view on it yet, I'm still in it, so I'm skewed. I'm skewed, and I was in this battle so I didn't talk about it much. But I had a hormonal imbalance that caused me to have a menstrual cycle for 28 days out of the month, which caused me to have to have six blood transfusions in three years, which caused me to always have a low blood count, which caused me to have a very slow metabolism, which caused me to not burn fat. 
 
And then I gained weight, and then I had sleep apnea, and my sleep apnea turned into a severe case of sleep apnea where the average person with a very strong case of sleep apnea wakes up thirty times an hour. That's a very extreme case. I woke up 62 times an hour.  
 
And so I travel all around the world while I'm doing 'Chicken Soup for the Soul,' 
'Chicken Soup for the African American Woman,' 'The Secret,' I'm traveling with a CPAP machine, and am continuously gaining weight. I'm very athletic, working out, eating clean, and just couldn't kick my metabolism in gear.  
 
And then after awhile I didn't have the energy to work out. I had no energy to work out. I didn't know that I hadn't gotten a good night of sleep in over ten years. I didn't even know. 
 
And you can be inside of a- yeah. You can be inside of a hell and not even know you're there because it's your norm. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yes, absolutely. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  And so I didn't know- I didn't know that I was sleep deprived. I didn't know that I was a danger to having a heart attack. I didn't know that there was no way I was ever going to kick anything in gear because there was too many factors medically. 
 
And you know, add to it your ego. Ladies, my 'she-go.' That I didn't want to think about a medical challenge because I come from an athletic background. Like I'm a gladiator, I go hard, and I go long. I swam competition for nine years, I did synchronized swimming for seven years, I was a state champion for three years.  
 
Like all this stuff, I just kept feeding myself all this stuff to keep me stuck. It was just keeping me stuck.  
 
And then one day after taking a series of tests- I mean I took every test. Blood test, iridologist. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Hormone imbalances. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Hormone imbalances, I did everything. I just did the entire- because I felt- this is going to sound weird, but maybe not to you. I felt a form of life leaving me. 
And it probably was just the exhaustion all the time, but I felt like I was never- I would want to do this, I would try to get my head above a water that wasn't there, but I didn't understand. I couldn't get a deep breath and I couldn't understand.  
 
I could sleep for ten hours and wake up exhausted, and I just couldn't understand it. I can do the CPAP machine and I couldn't understand it, I just couldn't get around it.  
 
But I was grinding hard, I was making bestsellers, I was on the stage with Jack Canfield and Tony Robbins and Les Brown, but I couldn't get this thing. I just couldn't figure it out. 
 
And so I took all these tests, and I knew it was serious when my doctor told my assistant Margaret, whom you've met, "Sit her down, put her in front of a Skype, I need an hour." 
 
I had just got off stage in Utah speaking in front of about 11,500 people, thirteen different countries, thirteen different languages, so all this energy, just energy.  
 
Signing about 375 books for hours. Just signing and smiling and posing. Just energy, right? And then I go into this presidential suite, sit down at this table, turn on the Skype, and literally my life is in front of me. 
 
And she had Margaret print out this packet so I could see, because people like me need evidence, people like you need evidence. I need facts, right? And she walked me through this 42-page report, and in summary she said, "You're no longer obese, you're morbidly obese."  
 
I carried it- and you can look at all my pictures. I carry it very well, I'm proportioned well, and I'm strong. So that can be elusive, and that could be misleading, and I'm wildly successful with all this weight, so that could be misleading. 
 
So everything that was my advantage, everything was the reason why I could go, go, go, everything that was my pride and joy was now my enemy.  
 
She said, "It's not a matter of-" She says, "You have severe sleep apnea, you're over 210 pounds, you don't have enough blood in your body, you travel over 280 days out of the year, and your day at work is not sitting quietly producing something, your day at work is lifting everybody else."  
 
She said, "I'm going to tell you something, and I wouldn't tell anybody else. And I'm going to tell you this because I saw you speak, I'm going to tell you this because I sat in your audience, I'm going to tell you this because I read your books and I need you to get it."  
 
She said, "It's not a matter of 'if' you will have a heart attack. It's a question of where will you be?" She said, "Will you be on stage? Will you be in a hotel room by yourself? Will you be 30,000 feet in the air? Or will you be with your child?" 
 
She said, "Let me take away any wonder. If you don't do anything, we will all lose you." And for two years because I'm stubborn and I've got a big ego, for two years I tried to un-know what she taught me. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  For two years I tried to act like, 'She don't know what she's talking about.' And then it hit me in November of 2015 how selfish I was being. How selfish I was being at the chance that I would take this message that God brought to me away from people, I would take myself away from my son because of something as small as my ego. How selfish was I? 
 
And then I was embarrassed at myself, so I ran to the doctor- like I ignore it for two years and then I ran to the doctor with this apologetic energy like, "I'm late. I was told this two years ago, I need help." 
 
She said- the doctor said, "I'm going to recommend something I don't recommend. You need a boost. You need a medical boost so you need medical help to get the boost because you're not going to lose the weight by yourself because you don't have enough sleep. You need more sleep to get the energy. You need more weight loss to lose the sleep apnea. It's just this cyclical cycle that unfortunately you fell in, and you need help." 
 
So I went to a doctor that did gastric bypass and I said, "Here is my sleep apnea report. I'm not sure if I qualify because I was right on the borderline." And he said, "Miss Nichols, it normally takes us six months to approve someone because you've got to be psychological, you've got a nutritionist."  
 
He said, "We'll get you in in 32 days because you are a walking heart attack waiting to happen and we need to start the weight loss so that we can just balance you out. And I know there's 100 different ways you want to do it." 
 
And I cried every day up for 32 days until I got on that table because my ego didn't want to do it, and I felt like there was another way, and I just don't know about it. And then every day I thought I was on borrowed time. I was on borrowed time.  
 
And so my weight loss started with that surgery, and then I jumped in immediately as soon as I could and got responsible. Eating was not a challenge. I've always over the years, I've eaten clean. That was not a challenge, but I got into the exercise, I got into the movement which was not a challenge because I've always lived very physical.  
 
And then I dealt with a year and a half of shame behind having the surgery. I mean severe shame. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah so tell me about the- 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Post? 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah the shame. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  And it was hard because now I'm telling you 2015- December 16, 2015 to May 3, 2016- so you know that was like yesterday.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  I dealt with severe shame. I felt like I cheated, you know? Because ego. Ego said there's only one way.  
 
I don't know what you probably thought today was going to be about. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  No, no, no this is so- people need to hear this.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  Right, I always say people call me as an expert and I go, "Okay but I'm a woman first, and if you have a vision of me standing on a mountaintop and staying there and talking to you from there, I'm going to disappoint you because I'm going to come down, because that's where all the richness is for me, and it's just easier." 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yes, absolutely. The best is going to be so many people that relate to this.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  Amen.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Please understand. Please understand.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  Well and I pray- 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  I wrote a bestselling book on sleep, so you know what I'm saying this is- 
 
Lisa Nichols:  But you didn't know? Did you know? 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  I had of course no idea.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  Yeah it's my- it's 'The Secret' teacher's secret. And it wasn't a secret as if it was something that I wanted to fake, it was just this is my private hell. 
 
 Yeah. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  I was meeting with a very well-known television network that we all know two days ago, and they asked me about my transformation, and I shared with them a little bit of what I'm sharing with you, and it was easier because there was just three people in the room. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  And she said, "Well did you feel-" she was trying to feel the sensationalism of a story. And what I don't do is I don't do entertainment.  
 
I don't do empty entertainment. I'm a transformational person. There's enough entertainment in our real drama, and so I can tell she was trying to find the sizzle. 
 
And I said- she goes, "So did you feel like you were a fake when you were going through that?" I just said, "Absolutely not." That I stand by everything I've ever said, that simply was my private hell and I didn't have to share that, that's my private life. And because I'm a public servant and teacher, it does not mean that I don't get to have my private experiences.  
 
And I don't talk about a darkness, I don't talk about a battle that I'm in the middle of because as a shepherd- and this is my role. Everyone has their role. But as a shepherd of transformation and healing, I would be irresponsible to still be in my hurt and pain, and bring you there with me, and not know how we're going to get out.  
 
And I needed to go through it, and be able to turn around and look at it just to sit here with you and have this conversation from the other side to go, 'Here's what happened. Here's how I got there.'  
 
I couldn't tell you my ego got me there when I was still there, I was justifying my ego, right? My ego had good reason, my ego looked like my purpose, and my ego was sexy, it was protecting me, it was defending me, it was keeping the camouflage on.  
 
So I wouldn't have been any service to anyone. I would help more people stay in their hell had I talked about it while I was still in it.  
 
And so I had to get to the other side, and then for the year after, I dealt with the shame. And it literally had been so long since I had shame live with me. I'd pass through shame for moments and then I'd check out, 'Hold on, wait a minute.' 
 
I do my work because I know the work to do to release shame, guilt, anger, resentment. I know the work, I teach the work, I live the work, I'm a student of the work. And I'd wake up and the shame would be with me. And I'd go, 'You're here again?'  
I'd be on stage and the shame would be with me and I'd go, 'What is this?' And everyone on Facebook was talking about my body.  
 
So here I was in this personal private health hell that no one knew about and no one had to know about. Making bestsellers, and transforming lives, and touching millions of people, doing it with this with me.  
 
And then I go through this transformation very difficult to go through and all of a sudden the very thing that's the most private part of my life is the most public and talked about thing without me discussing it. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Right.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  So if you go back and look a year on Facebook, I've never talked about my health. Everyone was like, "Oh my God! You look amazing!" 
 
And anytime someone would say, "What'd you do?" I'd go, "Oh no, no, no, no," because I wasn't at peace yet with my journey.  
 
And then because I'm so athletic and muscle has memory, right? I didn't do any skin grafting, my stomach is completely flat, my arms have got a little cut here and there.  
 
And so now it just elevated the conversation, right? 'Oh my God, it's The Gun Show.' 
 
I do The Lisa Nichols Show on YouTube. 'It's The Gun Show, it's not The Lisa Nichols Show.’ I'm like, 'Oh my God, come on, guys.' 
 
And so I had to make a decision. Do you live with the shame or do you make the most private part of your life public? Like I told no lies so I didn't have anything to clean up, but do you make the most private part of your life- and I knew that I couldn't make a portion of it public. I had to tell you how I got to the surgery table because you said it in your intro, what'd you say about it's internal? 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah working in and not just working out. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Oh my God that's so beautiful. That is such a beautiful statement, oh my God that's so beautiful. And if I am not the poster child of like- it was like in, in, in, out, out, in, in, out, in. I had to let them dance together, and then I had to take them public. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  I'm just so grateful because I didn't know the story, and I was- and the fact that you're sharing it here with us- 
 
Lisa Nichols:  With knees knocking, by the way. With knees knocking and teeth chattering.  
 So many people listening are going to be able to identify with 
this, and it's really- you said it earlier, like it would be selfish of you to not share. It would be selfish of you to not do something to make sure that you're still here and sharing your gift. 
 
And I want to unpack a couple of things for people because again, people listening, there are people in similar situations. You know I get these messages every day, and not understanding that you can literally overeat your way fat, you can under-move your way fat, you can overstress your way fat, and you can under-sleep your way fat as well. 
 
And this is the big gap, and why I decided to put so much time and energy into getting this message out because it's that missing component. You know, I'm a nutritionist so I was like, 'Food is everything' forever, but it just wasn't. 
 
And seeing the stories and having people coming into my office, and it wasn't until- it took about five years for me to actually look at the people who weren't getting the results everybody else was getting, what's going on? 
 
Lisa Nichols:  What's the common denominator? 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  What's going on with their sleep? And it blew my mind, and seeing so many times what you mentioned earlier, this vicious cycle that takes place because you need to sleep in order to lose weight. You need to lose weight in order to sleep. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Yes. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  So how are we going to address this? And there are ways to stack conditions in your favor. Sometimes, and this is part of The Model Health Show, is that you have to understand everything is an option. 
 
A Twinkie is an option. If there's a zombie apocalypse, and you come into a 7Eleven, and you need something to eat, Twinkie is going to last for a little while, however we want to- 
 
Lisa Nichols:  As a matter of fact, they never go away because they're artificial. They will never- 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Exactly, the Twinkie will outlive you.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  Right, right. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  It will be Twinkies and roaches left. But the fact is, is that we need to steer on the side of what our genes expect us to do to start with. You know and sometimes we find ourselves in a complicated spot where we might need this or that.  
 
Maybe it's an antibiotic treatment. You know we talk about the dangers of antibiotics here on the show, but sometimes in a spot instance we just don't want to live reliant on that.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  Right, right, right. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  And so once we get to that case- 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Jump start. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Exactly. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Jump start. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  And that was the word that you used. And so for you to regain that fitness and that athletic identity that you were carrying, which is so powerful, it's really a remarkable story. 
 
And at this point- 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Thank you for saying that. I just want to pause you to thank you for saying that because I've worked through the first four layers of shame, and it's a progress, but I'm grateful when I hear nutritionists and fitness experts align with, 'You may need a jump start.' 
 
In my bag, in my travel bag stays my protein bars and my protein powder. And the life I live today is the life that I'm supposed to live, and the me that I am today is the woman that's been waiting to come out for fifteen years. And I needed a particular path to help jump start that, and then to become responsible for my emotional being, my financial lifestyle, and my physical awareness. 
 
So thank you for that because I'm strong, and I'm emotionally healthy, and if I struggled with it like that, then what are my sisters and what are my brothers doing who may not be in the work like this. 
 
So I just want to thank you and hold the space for those of you who are listening who are walking into this- I always say where there's evidence, there's truth, and let there be evidence that there are multiple ways to get to where you need to get to.  
 
And if you are willing to do something you've never done before, you'll get something you've always wanted to get. And that's what I had to do. 
 
 I'd love to talk now about what are you doing now? Because 
again you're 51, and you look- I mean I was like, 'She's maybe late-thirties maybe.' 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Hey man. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  But you know you just mentioned you travel obviously a tremendous amount. Even the average traveler, this is like times ten.  
 
And you mentioned carrying along your protein bars, your protein powder. So what are some of the things that you're doing now? 
 
Lisa Nichols:  I bring my lifestyle with me. Like I don't- there is no excuse. There is no excuse for me to be healthy and to choose healthy. I bring my lifestyle with me as much as I can.  
 
I learned awhile ago that as long as I've got my body weight, I've got weights.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah, that's right.  
 
li Because I would go to a conference in a hotel and I'd go to the gym, and everyone at the conference would be in the gym and so I'd spend all my time in the gym taking pictures on treadmills with my head scarf on. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah, I've seen that before. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  You know because I don't go to the gym looking hot, I go to the gym ready to get my workout on. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  And then you're on Instagram looking like- 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Looking like a hot mess. And everyone- 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Did she just jump a car? 
 
Lisa Nichols:  And they're posting before I get out the gym. So you know, so I stopped going to the gym in hotels because I just couldn't go to the gym. 
 
And so I learned that my bodyweight is enough weight. So my arms exist from pushups. Like I can always do a pushup. I can always do a plank.  
 
So several things, and please write this down because last year if you're listening, last year I traveled 310 days out the year. One average I'm in eight to thirteen different countries in over the course of a year. 
 
I just got back from Barcelona, before that it was Budapest, and before that it was Ireland all before May, you know? And before the end of the year I'll do Barcelona again, I'll do London, I'll do South Africa.  
 
So my excuses for not working out consistently are sexy.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Like they're the kind of excuses even the trainers will go, "Okay. Dang I can't beat that." 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Right.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  So I have to be really aware that I have to bring my lifestyle with me. So number one, I am never without nutrition. I'm never without protein. I'm never stuck to where I have to get that whatever. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Right, Krispy Kreme. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Right, it's not even an option. When I saw people standing in line for Krispy Kreme at 5:00 in the morning, I decided I'm never going to go because I might love that donut. 
 
So I stay away from things that don't speak life into my body. I don't dibble and dabble a little bit because I have an extremist behavior. So number one, I have to know me.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yes, know yourself. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  I don't ever take a teaspoon of anything. Give me a big gulp of whatever, so I've got to big gulp right things. Right? I spend my time and my energy on things that's going to feed my future. 
 
So I believe that my body and my mindset and how I feed is being responsible to my future. I have a large, large calling on my life, I have a big purpose, and it's my job to take care of the temple that's going to live out my purpose. 
 
So my body is not just my body holding up my head like it used to be. My body is the instrument living out my life's purpose. 
 
So I think the first thing is to understand the life's purpose, and you don't have to understand it in its wholeness, because by the way it's going to change.  
 
So my purpose twenty years ago was different than my purpose now. It's revealing itself to me in different forms, and in twenty years I'm going to be doing something different than I'm doing now, and I even have a glimpse of that. 
 
 
So allowing it to unfold in seasons, right? And then to be responsible to take care of the instrument that's going to get you to your life's purpose. 
 
And so I carry my life with me, I'm comfortable in my no, I'm okay with being radical, I'm okay with making bold outrageous requests of me, and people around me, and the universe on behalf of me being able to live out my life's purpose. 
 
Because a part of it's understanding- and I say this in not an ego way, or ladies in a she-go way. That to understand my contribution is so necessary that I have to be willing to be a stand for myself.  
 
Oh it took me years to get there. I've got to be willing to not only celebrate my yes, but own my no. To not only dance hard in the middle of the day, but also require that I get my sleep.  
 
To not only be willing to be radical inside of service, but also know when I need to refuel my tank because I don't do you any good serving you from a half empty cup. I don't even want my cup half full when I serve you. 
 
I didn't come here, I didn't fly in to you on a half empty cup. I came to you in my overflow. I'm serving you right now from my saucer. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Like that's your responsibility, and so when you look at it that way that my body is the instrument living out my life's purpose, it's not just about not having love handles, it's not just about having great quads, and great abs, and great legs, or looking thirty.  
 
Like looking like I'm 35, 39, or 40, that's a benefit. But the true gift is that I can go hard for the next 25 years. You're going to sit down, I'm going to tell you to get up. Like that's my intention is to go, "Oh come on Shawn, we've still got something to do." 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  I love it. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Because the purpose is so big, do you know what I mean? 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  And so when you- 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  You're feeling your purpose. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  And when you attach yourself to something bigger than you, the Twinkie is interrupting the purpose. The Krispy Kreme is interrupting the divine assignment on your life.  
 
See I don't choose things that's not going to serve my body, not because- to be honest I'm not like you, I don't miss the gym when I'm not in it. Is that how he is? His body- he feels a little off if- that's not me. I don't miss the gym. 
 
I miss being able to live out my life's purpose, and hopefully in the path that I'll start missing the gym. 
 
Like my friends- I have friends that go, "If I'm not in the gym in three days it feels weird." I'm like, "I'm waiting to get there."  
 
I'm not there yet but I'm working out because my body has to keep up with the divine assignment on my life as the divine assignment unfolds itself to me. So I don't see the whole thing. I don't see the whole thing. 
 
People are like, "Oh you don't see-" No, no, no. I just see the next two feet, I see the next two hundred feet. I don't know what's 2,000. You couldn't have told me twenty years ago I'd be one of the featured teachers in 'The Secret.' 
 
You couldn't have told me fifteen years ago that I'd have seven bestsellers. You couldn't have told me that. I would have reminded you that I got a fail in English. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Right. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  You couldn't have told me ten years ago that I would be one of the most recognized speakers internationally in Slovenia, in Kazakhstan and Kiev. I didn't know where those places were because I failed geography. You couldn't have told me, right? 
 
And so your assignment is unfolding itself, your contribution to the planet is unfolding itself in seasons as you can digest it. Because the universe knows- God, whatever you want to call it knows you can't even handle knowing everything that you're going to do.  
 
But here's what I do know, I need to be ready. This body, this temple needs to be ready to do it. So I know my life is not a race, it's a marathon. 
 
So when you think like that, the desire to do the stuff begins to fall away because I'm constantly attaching myself to something greater, but the same things emotionally.  
 
I also don't attract drama. No one brings drama to me ever, ever. When they whisper about people and they're like, 'She don't want to hear.'  
 
So it's holistic. It's food, it's behavior, and it's habit, and it's mindset. So my cousins when we're at a barbeque and they're doing their- they're talking about stuff and I come like, "What ya'll talking about?" They're like, "Girl, you don't want to hear about it." "No, I want to hear about it." "No really, you don't want to hear about because you ain't got time for that, you're doing big stuff." "Oh yeah, you're right, if it's small, you're right, I don't." 
 
As a matter of fact on my TV, my goddaughter was in my house for awhile and she was looking at crazy stuff. I said, "That energy can't be in my house babe, because I'm concentrating on what I'm doing next in my house. That's distracting me." 
 
So it's mindset too. And so I do a number of different things, but I really keep my mind in a place that's going to require me- 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Working in, you've got it.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  Require me. And then I'm dating, right? I'm single so- well he don't think I'm single, I'm still deciding. I'm making the decision, right? So anyway, I'm not married. 
 
So on my dates I shifted as I was dating to go- so they say, "What do you love to do" on the phone, you know you get to know somebody. Oh my God. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  That process. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Oh my God! Right? And for a long time I wasn't datable so I was okay. I chose single because everything in me was birthing a man child and raising a man child and birthing a purpose and raising a business, and I didn't have anything else left. So I consciously chose, 'Let me get these two things out.'  
 
My son is now 23, graduate of Le Cordon Bleu Culinary Institute, and my business has its legs. Now I go, 'Okay now I'm ready for that, because I want to put it all in when I put in.' So but now I- so my dates, there's a parameter of how I date. 
 
I date hiking, I date skating, I date biking, I date walking on the beach. I have all the ways that I date, and people say, "Oh that's really not interesting." Great, this was quick and easy. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Right, right.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  This was quick and easy, it's not a fit. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Thank you. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Right, because I date active because I live active, because that's who I am. That's who I choose. So I set my lifestyle up to be in alignment with my intention on every level.  
 
I put a gym in my office, drove my CFO crazy. He was like, "We need the space." 
"Find it somewhere else. That's going to be a full-fledged gym. Full-fledged gym." 
 
Now we have motivational workout Mondays in my office. I'm not there, and you can look at- they will Facebook Live it every Monday, full on workout for 45 minutes in my office, everybody from my CFO to my COO to my assistant working out. They don't have to, but I'm going to create the environment for you to live.  
 
I'm going to pay for your health benefits, but I'm also going to help pay to help you get healthy.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yes, yes. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  So I just design my lifestyle around it.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  What you did obviously with changing yourself, you changed the culture around you.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  Yes. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  And it begins to just trickle down, and it's so amazing to hear this. And also some people are going to be like, "Well I can't do that."  
 
There are pieces you shared on multiple different areas that people can do. You have a body and so just becoming more physically literate is what I call it, you know? Understanding you don't need a gym, you've got that amazing body and you can find various ways to use that. 
 
And of course we've talked about that multiple times on the show, but as you can, think about how can you integrate more health and fitness into your life so it's just a part of the environment? 
 
Lisa Nichols:  It's my life. Like I used to think of it as the extra. This is my life. My life is living in this body. This is the machine. This is the machine and the temple that I was given. I was blessed with an operational system that's asking me to invest in it so that I can live out my divine life purpose. 
 
Like if I just look at it like that, there's an obligation. You've got to pull me hard. So I'm not like- I don't do taps like this well. I won't even feel it. Like you've got to stop me, like freight train me, like that's just how I learn. But once I get it, you don't have to worry about it. I'm going to live like I know. 
 
The worst thing you can do is know something and live like you don't know it. That's robbery, right? That's some deep stuff, right? See you get off if you don't know it. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah, there's term for that.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  Right, you get off if you don't know it. "I didn't know it." "Oh, okay." But when you know it and you live like you don't know it, you have to keep relearning it because the universe is trying to tell you, 'You know you know this, so let me give it to you again.' 
 
That's how we end up saying, "How did I end up here again?"  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Right, exactly. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  The answer is you're living like you didn't know it. You're living like you didn't learn it. So I've got to keep giving you this financial breakdown, I've got to keep giving you this relationship breakdown until you live like you know it. I've got to keep giving you this physical breakdown until you live like you know it.  
 
And so I like to believe I'm a good teacher, but I am a phenomenal student. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yes. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  I'm a better student than I'm a teacher all day long. I go, 'Okay universe.' 
 
When I was on Oprah I said, "I always ask God, 'God what lesson am I supposed to learn in this situation?'" And she goes, "I ask the same thing." And I was like, 'Well I know I'm asking the right question then.' 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  There you go, right? Check. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  What lesson am I to learn, and then live like I got the lesson, otherwise I've got to get the lesson again. And then to recognize that you have to be willing to evict- and I say evict because an eviction is 'it's over, it's done, get out.' Evict is a strong word, you even say it strong. Evict. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Like it's just a- you have to be willing to evict any part of your thinking that doesn't align with where you're going. So that's where you- I do this exercise, I recommend if you're listening do this exercise.  
 
I do this exercise called 'Expose the Lies.' I get a pencil, and a red pen, and a lot of paper. And in pencil I write down every lie I'm telling myself that don't nobody else hear, but I know it because I'm with me. And I write down all my lies around money, all my lies around relationship, all my lies around my physical appearance, all my lies around my family, all my- and I have a lot of them because the bigger you play, the more lies you have, by the way.  
 
So don't get all caught up beating yourself up if you have seven pages of lies. The bigger you play, the bigger your breakdowns. Bottom line, just be okay with that.  
 
If you ain't having breakdowns, you ain't playing big enough. Your job is to walk through them breakdowns, right? People sitting on the couch every day watching whatever, Housewives of somebody, they're not having a lot of breakdowns because they're not up to a lot. That's okay, no judgment.  
 
So I would write down all my lies in pencil, and I would sit- and I mean I'm crying an ugly cry down my lies. And I put this in my first book. I'm writing down the lies, expose the lies in pencil, write down all the lies. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Give me an example of a lie. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Oh yeah, money is hard to make.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yes, okay. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  I can give you a whole lot. I'll never have a long-lasting love. I make too much money for men to really see me as their equal and to really value me, and to get into a loving relationship. My family will always think that I'm different because I travel the world, and I'm around a lot of white people all the time.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Like all this stuff is stupid, it's stupid stuff, but it's true. It's in your head. It's the chatter in your head going on in your head all the time. You know it's my children, my son. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  We might call it alternative facts today, you know? 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Right, right. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  So yeah, but we all tell ourselves these lies and to expose them, I love that. So powerful.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  Right because in your head they've got a lot of power because they're just between these ears in your head. But out here in the world they're so small. You go- as you're writing the lie, you're laughing. Like I'll write the lie and go, "That's so stupid." 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  But it has value and power in your head. So I've been doing this for years. All my students who step on my campus, I go, "Come on, y'all. Let's do 'Expose the Lies.'" And so we just write, write in pencil. You write the lie in pencil and you skip four lines if it's on lined paper, or you skip a space if it's on blank paper. And then you write another lie.  
 
And we'll just sit quietly for like 45 minutes. Everybody is like- I put on some like nice healing music because you're going to feel like you're sludging through your mud. And then you feel like a fraud, then you feel shame, then you feel guilt, and you're writing these lies and it feels ugly. 
 
Then I say, "Get out the red pen, and now write the truth." And everyone gets stuck, 
"I don't know what the truth is." 
 
"Okay, but you knew that was a lie because you wrote it down. You chose it. You chose it as a lie, so that means there is a truth that exists out there somewhere. You don't have to believe the truth today, but you know that there is a truth because you identified that as a lie." 
 
So write the truth whether you can own it now or not. So then everyone is writing the truth in red ink. Then I tell them for one day, read the lie and the truth, the lie and the truth together because neurolinguistic programming says that if you do an association, your mind will naturally jump to the association. 
 
So the last time you told yourself that lie, there was nothing there to counter it with. But the next time after reading lie/truth, lie/truth, lie/truth, lie/truth, right you do that? If you really want to cement it you do it three times. The next time you read the lie, your brain will naturally see the truth in that red ink. 
 
It's juicy stuff. 
 
So then you read the lie, the truth, the lie, the truth, so that now you have an association with the truth the next time the lie comes up, right? 
 
Then the final step is you take an eraser, a big eraser, and you erase all the lies that's written in pencil. And so I do that. I would constantly do that. I've done that exercise for like the last nine years. I'm consistent to do it.  
 
I used to do it once a month because stuff would come up, and now I do it like every eight, nine months. I just write, 'Okay what are my lies? What are my lies?' You know I'm in a new relationship, 'Okay new lies just came up.' 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Right. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  And of course I'm in a relationship that's international, so he's in another country, so I'm like, 'I can't make an international relationship work.' Okay that's the lie, now what do I need- what's the truth? You know, and the truth is I can make anything work because I have time freedom, space freedom, and financial freedom. What are you talking about, chick? Right? 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  You know as we- and you said it. You know as you grow and evolve it becomes more- you get more of that. You know B.I.G. said more money, more problems, you know? 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Right, right. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  But really as we grow and achieve more success, it's easy to start coasting. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Absolutely. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  And so to do this practice to keep yourself accountable so you can keep reaching your potential which is limitless. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Yeah. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  I really love that. And you know, there is a term for that as well, it's called akrasia. It's where we work against our better judgment. It's where we work against our knowledge of what actually is truth. And so often we will fight, we will fight to protect our lies, right? 
 
And so when we wake up to that, when we become aware- 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Break down the house, break down the relationships, break down the job. It will all go to crap to protect our lies. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  And what I want people to understand is that time is going to pass anyways.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  Right. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  So you might as well spend your time working on your truth than on the lie. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Well and the truth is sexy. The truth is attractive. If you look at my brand, my brand is not a brand of protection, my brand is a brand of truth, it's a brand of transparency. Someone said, "What if they find this out about you?" I said, "Well if they tell the story wrong, I'm going to correct them and tell the story right." 
 
Like I don't know if you remember way back in the day, you might not know, I don't know how old you are. You might not know. But way back in the day, The Phil Donahue Show used to come on.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  I know Phil Donahue, yeah. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  And Phil Donahue used to bust people out. He loved busting people out. You'd have someone on stage saying, "Yeah you know I stopped drinking twenty years ago, and now I live a clean life." And then Phil would say, "Well you know what? We happen to have on the phone someone who was in the bar with you last weekend." 
 
Like Phil Donahue would bust people out, and I always said I will never have a Phil Donahue moment because I'm going to sit on stage and say, "I had a drink last week, but today is a new day. Can I get a new chance?"  
 
Like that's who I choose to be, which is why I knew last year at my conference, I stood in front of about 1,100 people between those who were live in my room and those who were online, and I shared the story of my health journey, and I shared my- that I had surgery, because I wanted to share my truth, and I wanted it to come from me.  
 
And at the time I wasn't ready for it to be public and I asked everyone in that conference, it was about 600 people in the room, and about another 700 people online. I said, "Could we just keep this between us right now until I'm ready?"  
 
Do you know it's been a year and a half, not one person has mentioned it online.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  That's amazing. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Isn't that amazing? Isn't that amazing? 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  When you share your truth.  
 
Lisa Nichols:  When you share your truth. And here's the last thing that I want to share with you is people want to be convenienced. They want growth and convenience. They want expansion and convenience, and the moment it becomes challenging they want to quit.  
 
My grandmother says, "Baby," she starts every sentence with 'baby.' I'm sure it's because she can't remember our names because there's a lot of us.  
 
She says, "Baby, your conviction and your convenience don't live on the same block." She said, "You have to be willing to be mildly, to moderately, to significantly inconvenienced for that thing that you have a conviction for, that thing that you're passionate about."  
 
Or at least tell the truth and say you really didn't want it in the first place, but don't sit here and complain and then quit when it gets hard because everything on the other side of your possible is everything on the other side of what you thought was possible is the impossible waiting to happen in your life.  
 
But you will never find your next best version of you sitting inside your comfort zone. So I'm amazed at how many people come to me and they tell me the list of what they want, then when I give them the what to do they go, "Well that's hard." And then I look at them.  
 
And you know me, I'm edgy. I just give them a look. I say, "Did you think I was going to give you the easy route? And I didn't know it for myself, there's no easy in transformation. But you can decide what you want to call difficult." 
 
See I welcome challenging because I know when I do that thing I don't want to do, and I say that thing I don't want to say, I access the woman I've always known myself to be. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yes. I almost stood up and started clapping. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Right, right, right. So I'm constantly- people ask, "God, what was it like?" I was in a constant discomfort for twelve years. A constant discomfort. Constant inconvenience. 
 
Like think about it, if you sign up for being inconvenienced. I'm going to sign up for being inconvenienced because I want the lifestyle. I want the fact that at age ten I was able to take my son to South Africa and he stood on the top of this mountain that he thought was the tallest mountain in the world, because that's that same baby that I couldn't put Pampers on.  
 
And he stood on top of the mountain with no front teeth and he says, "Mommy, I'm on top of the tallest mountain in the world." I still have that memory burned in my head, so for the inconvenience of eating beanies and weenies every day of the week for three years, for the inconvenience of getting free turkey at Christmas and at New Years, and standing in that line feeling both gratitude and shame, I'll do it over again every time to watch that child have a future that he deserved, and I'm willing, I can have access to it? Yeah, all day.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  I'm just blown away. Of course I knew that you're obviously an exceptional human being, but you're somebody who reminds us that we are as well.  
 
And just one final quick thing I'd like for you to share is what is the model- and you've already shared many pieces of this, but what is the model that you're setting with the way that you're living your life personally? 
 
Lisa Nichols:  It's funny you should ask that question. That is so funny, Shawn. In 1992 I named my company. I went down to the Better Business Bureau thing, and my friend was with me, and I said, "What's the name going to be?" She said, "I don't know." I said, "I don't know either."  
 
She said, "Well what do you want to do?" I said, "I want to inspire people."  
 
She said, "To do what?" I said, "To live their best life."  
 
She said, "Well how are you going to do that?" I said, "I'm going to motivate them."  
 
She goes, "Well who are you going to motivate?" I said, "Everybody." She said, "Like the masses?" I said, "The masses."  
 
She said, "Well why don't we call it Motivating the Masses?" I said, "Okay." And she said, "What do you want to be?" I said, "When it comes to possibility, healing, hope, and getting up, I want to be the standard by which other people measure possibility."  
 
And no one has ever asked me that question, but I never forgot my answer when she asked me because everything I wanted to do was living into that intention of I want what I do, the company, the conversation to be the standard by which possibility and healing is measured by. Determination and resiliency. 
 
See I'm not the fastest kid on the team. I'm not the smartest cookie in the cookie jar. I'm not. I'm not the cutest girl in line, I'm not. But what I do have is more resiliency and determination than most. 
 
I'm not the one that's been able to dodge the bullet, I've been hit by the bullet, but I'm the one who was willing to love the shooter. That's the distinction. I'm not the one who got the hook-up, I'm the one who was willing to keep getting up. And if you're willing to keep getting up, you won't ever be afraid of being knocked down. 
 
And if you're not afraid of not being knocked down, then you will give yourself permission to fly. So failure is my friend. Failure is my friend because I've learned how to fail forward. Darkness keeps me company because I've learned how to walk through it. I never take out real estate in my darkness so I'm not afraid of darkness.  
 
So when you get to that place, then everything is for gain. Or you wake up and say, "Okay what next? Bring it on." Because I'll fail? I'll fail today, I'm okay with that, I'll fail forward, I'll go through darkness today.  
 
I'm okay because there's light on the other side and I ain't taking out real estate. I ain't even taking out a lease option to buy. I ain't even doing a rent-to-own in my darkness. I'm going to keep going.  
 
So now you welcome it all. And in 1992 I said I want to be the standard by what that possibility represents. And I don't need to be a celebrity, I want to be very clear, I never, ever asked to be a celebrity.  
 
The most uncomfortable time in my life was when The Secret came out because it made me- I was on Oprah, and I was on Larry King, and I was like whoa, whoa, whoa, I was okay leading from behind.  
 
You know and so then I had to get comfortable. 'Oh this is a byproduct of doing my work. This is a byproduct of doing the work. Be okay with it.' So then okay, I said yes to that too. And so thank you for the question. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yeah. Oh no this has to be one of the best answers that I've ever heard. And Lisa, if you could please let people know where they can connect with you online. I know you've got some programs, you kept mentioning your students, so please let everybody know. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Oh it's funny, this is always the awkward time because I never come with that in mind. Thank you for allowing me. You would go to, as you know my name, www.MotivatingTheMasses.com. 
 
And my request is that you jump into something that's a baby step, give yourself a small yes. We always try to go for the big yeses and the big things. 'I want to go 1,000 miles.' Just walk ten feet with me, and if it feels right then walk ten more feet with me. 
 
And my goal is to walk hand-in-hand with people who want to transform their future into something barely recognizable because that's what I was able to do. And I believe that this isn't just for some of us, that abundance is our birth right. It's our birth right regardless of our culture, our religious background, our economic status, our geographical origin, our physical appearance.  
 
That abundance is our birth right. It's not just for some people, it is in fact for everyone. It's not a myth, it's a possibility and it won't ever come to your door delivered by UPS or FedEx. You've got to get up, you've got to flex your muscles, build the muscles that are in atrophy whether it's your quads, your triceps, your abs, or your financial muscle, your forgiveness muscle, your emotional muscle, your faith muscles. 
 
You've got to build your muscles that are in atrophy so you can have the life that you deserve, and no one is going to do your sit-ups for you but you. You are and have always been your own rescue.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Yes. I know- I know for certain, just having the opportunity to meet you, and to see how much you give, and even the overcoming obstacles, going through the darkness to even get here today is just remarkable and I'm very grateful for you.  
 
But so we've got www.MotivatingTheMasses.com people can find you. And I'm finding you here, and everybody else is finding you here on The Model Health Show. And I just want to thank you. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  Thank you for having me. That means a lot to be here. 
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Oh it's totally my pleasure, and from my heart to yours, I acknowledge you and I'm so grateful for all of times that you've said yes to your mission despite the circumstances.  
 
And thank you for coming in and inspiring everybody today. I appreciate it. 
 
Lisa Nichols:  You're welcome, Shawn. I want to acknowledge you. I want to acknowledge you for being a stand for people in possibility. I want to acknowledge you as a man, as a son, as a father, as a husband, and as a brother, that when you decide to shepherd people, and you decide to be a part of the solution, the conversation, the possibility, that comes with a heavy mantle.  
 
It's not easy because you have to choose to be the conversation in the dark of the night when no one's looking on the days that it doesn't feel good in order to sit in front of the camera, and in front of the mic, and serve from your overflow. 
 
So I'm honored. I'm honored that you would find value in what I say and what I bring enough to ask me to come, but I'm more honored to walk the planet at the same time as you. And it encourages me as a mother of a son, it encourages me as a sister of a brother, as a daughter of a man to sit in the space with you, it really does. 
 
I've been sitting here basking in who you are, basking in you as a husband, seeing your wife, and seeing her, and loving her, and honoring her, and as a father.  
 
I've been just allowing it to sit with me, and serve me selfishly while we are in this time. So I'm honored to know you and honored to be with you.  
 
Shawn Stevenson:  Thank you. I have the truth bumps. Thank you so much, I appreciate you immensely, Lisa.  
 
Everybody, thank you so much for tuning in and spending this time with us. Make sure like yesterday, go and check out www.MotivatingTheMasses.com. Connect with Lisa, follow her online, and check out her amazing talks all over the Interwebs.  
 
I'm so grateful for you tuning in with me and sharing your time, I know how valuable you are, and your time, and hopefully today you start to understand more about how valuable you are.  
 
And one of the big things that I want you to take away from today, and that Lisa shared, is we're all going to go through tough spots, we're going to go through darkness, but we keep moving forward, you know?  
 
We don't want to take up real estate there in the Upside Down, alright? Shout-out to everybody watching Stranger Things.  
 
But we don't want to take up real estate in this darkness because this is not where we're supposed to live, and to just keep moving forward. 
 
And one of the big things is understanding that some of the greatest stories- I really think that you're in process right now. If you're finding yourself in struggle, in challenge, you're in process and it's going to be a great story for you to share to help others.  
 
And this is why you cannot stop. You keep moving forward.  
 
And thank you for making me a part of your life, and allowing me to serve, and to give my gift. And I promise we've got some amazing, amazing episodes coming up with some just incredible guests and incredible show topics.  
 
But none more important than today with the one and only Lisa Nichols. I appreciate you so much for tuning in. Take care, have an amazing day, and I'll talk with you soon.  
 
And for more after the show, make sure to head over to 
www.TheModelHealthShow.com. That's where you can find all of the show notes, you can find transcriptions, videos for each episode, and if you've got a comment you can leave me a comment there as well.  
 
And please make sure to head over to iTunes and leave us a rating to let everybody know that the show is awesome, and I appreciate that so much.  
 
And take care, I promise to keep giving you more powerful, empowering, great content to help you transform your life. Thanks for tuning in. 
 

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