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TMHS 352: Self Assessment Adjusting to Change & Social Media Detox with Anne Stevenson
Henry David Thoreau made an insightful point when he wrote, “Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each.” Whether you’re in a season of challenges, conflict, joy, or change, each season holds its unique ups and downs. But if we dismiss the hard seasons, there’s a lot of growth and beauty that we could miss.
On this episode, the lovely Anne Stevenson is back to talk about navigating those seasons of life, including her experience moving to the United States from Kenya, and what it was like to transition into motherhood. You’re going to hear Anne’s insights on relationships, productivity, finding a balance with social media, and fine-tuning your focus so that you can put your energy into the things that really matter.
Anne is also answering your questions on finding a workout that you love, how to maintain your family’s healthy lifestyle around the holidays, as well as how we balance working in our business while we work on our relationship. Anne’s story highlights how to step into your power and focus on what truly matters, I hope it will inspire you to embrace the season of life that you’re in.
In this episode you'll discover:
- Anne’s experience immigrating to the United States.
- How experiences from childhood can influence you into adulthood.
- The cultural differences between Kenya and the US.
- Why it’s important to get to the root of your emotions.
- What it means to make a study of your relationship.
- Why Anne decided to take a social media detox, and what she learned from it.
- The truth about willpower and changing habits.
- How Anne created a built-in accountability system during her social media detox.
- Tips for undergoing a successful and insightful social media detox.
- How to add value on social media.
- What it’s really like to be married to a creative.
- How to navigate eating healthy during the holidays.
- What it means to understand the seasons of your life.
- How assessing your goals quarterly can make you more productive.
- Why you should consider hiring a housekeeping service.
- The importance of being patient and kind to yourself.
Items mentioned in this episode include:
- Onnit.com/Model ⇐ Get your optimal health & performance supplements at 10% off!
- Foursigmatic.com/model ⇐ Get 15% off your daily health elixirs and coffee!
- Model Nation ⇐ Join our private Facebook community!
- Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis
- Ultimate Relationship Program by Tony Robbins
- The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
- Willpower Doesn’t Work by Benjamin Hardy
- We’re Going to Need More Wine by Gabrielle Union
- Everyday Enlightenment by Dan Millman
- Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis
- The Sweet Potato Diet by Michael Morelli
- 5 Keys to an Amazing Relationship with Anne Stevenson – Episode 176
- Create a Culture of Health in Your Family with Anne Stevenson – Episode 292
- The Science of Setting and Accomplishing Goals with Michael Hyatt – Episode 260
- 12 Tips for Conquering Distraction and Getting More Done – Episode 307
- Everyday Enlightenment with Dan Millman – Episode 329
- The Fat Loss Code
Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Model Health Show. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute and leave a quick rating and review of the show on Apple Podcast by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!
Shawn Stevenson: Welcome to The Model Health Show. This is fitness and nutrition expert, Shawn Stevenson, and I'm so grateful for you tuning in with me today.
I have been getting a lot of folks asking me recently for whatever reason, who is my favorite guest, what's my favorite episodes myself. I've been doing this for over 5 years, every single week, showing up and creating something special for you.
Just thinking back on it, I realized that it wasn't necessarily special guests, but special moments.
I was to be completely honest, my most special guest of all time is the person that I had to bring back for you today; highly requested and somebody who's been there with me through it all, who's been a sounding board for all of my thoughts and my concerns, somebody who's really helped me to uplevel my game is so many different areas of my life, held me accountable and also challenged me— a lot.
Our guest today is my wife, Anne Stevenson.
I'm really excited about this because we're going to talk about some new stuff. A lot of changes have happened in our lives recently and a lot of changes are coming.
I've recently made a life switch myself, I have changed my schedule and this is because in the mornings I've been working on a project, something that I've been really wanting to do for a long time and I'm finally carving out the time and getting it done.
I've switched to working out in the afternoon, which is new for me, I've been a morning exerciser for close to 20 years now, but I did take a time to do an experiment— while "Sleep Smarter" was getting done to work out in the afternoon to just test it and to see the impact that it has on my sleep quality.
Because in "Sleep Smarter" I talk about how Appalachian State University found that morning exercisers tend to have better sleep, they tend to have more efficient sleep cycles, they tend to spend more time the deepest, most anabolic stage of sleep and they also tend to have about a 25% greater drop in blood pressure in the evenings, which is correlated with turning off that fight or flight sympathetic dominance. So it was just stacked in favor of working out in the morning.
But the reality is that's not always feasible for all of us. What I've been doing is getting 5 minutes of exercise in the morning.
I generally like jump on my mini trampoline, my rebounder for a while, maybe listen to a podcast or something like that.
And then I get to work and then I'm getting to the gym, in the early afternoon, somewhere around 3:30, 4 o'clock before I pick my son Braden up from school.
And here's what I've been finding— just changing my body clock in the time that I'm working out, I just want to introduce something and be more consistent with trying to pre-workout.
And for me, I get surprised every single time that I use Shroom Tech Sport from Onnit, I just can't believe how good it actually makes me feel and it's not like weird crash, I don't feel like out of my body and jittery and weird, crazy, tingling crazy sensations and things that didn't happen with some pre workouts.
The reason I also love it is that they've done a double-blind placebo-controlled study on it, this is the gold standard of studies and here's what they found, this was conducted at Florida State University, they did a 12 week clinical trial and they sought out to find the impact that Shroom Tech Sport actually has on your performance.
Here's what they found— taking Shroom Tech Sport test subjects were able to increase their bench press reps by 12 percent. How much do you bench, bro?
Right off the bat, you get an increase combined to bench press and back squat reps by 7% so folks are doing a little bit more glycolitic work, doing some supersets, but also strength training, you get a boost there.
It is also shown to increase cardio performance by 8.8%. Really remarkable stuff and I love that Onnit really put their money where their mouth is and put this product in a double-blind placebo-controlled trial with some highly reputable folks and getting this data back for us.
I highly recommend checking them out, especially if you are in the market for a pre-workout or even pre-life really, because it's from Earth grown nutrients, it's based on Cordyceps mushroom which has been literally used for centuries and also compounds in there like EGCG for example, which has some benefits with our energy but also benefits with boosting fat burn as well.
It's really, really cool stuff, pop over there, check them out, get yourself a bottle or two. It's onnit.com/model and you get 10% off every single thing that they carry. All right, so pop over there, check them out onnit.com/model.
Now let's get to the Apple podcast review the week.
Another 5-star review titled "Eat your Veggies", by our Arb Designer247: "I'm a new listener and about 20 episodes deep into this life-changing podcast. What I like about it the most is that each episode I gain new, very insightful knowledge on health and wellness.
But also like that each episode coincides with each other, the information is not contradicting and has the same underlining approach to health. Thank you, Shawn, for instilling these beliefs and principles into all of us. Best." Andrea from Alabama.
Awesome. Eat Your Veggies, thank you so much for leaving me that review over on Apple podcasts, and I appreciate the acknowledgment. It's just amazing how many folks are going back and listening to each and every show from episode number one and thousands of folks are doing that every week and it just really blows my mind and just accumulating this knowledge.
Also, I want to give a huge shout out to folks who go and listen to episodes again and really ingrain that stuff in your psyche, that's what I really began doing when I got into this space in the very beginning, was I would find these lectures, I would find these different summits that I would attend and I would get the recordings and I'd just listen to them over and over again, until it really became a part of who I am.
It's really remarkable and I appreciate that so much and everybody, if you get to leave a review, please pop over to Apple podcasts and leave a review for the show, it really means everything to me.
And even no matter what platform you're on, whether it's Apple podcasts, whether it's you're watching this on YouTube and hanging out in the studio with us, leave a comment, just share with folks what you think about the show and I appreciate that.
On that note, let's get to our special guest and topic of the day.
My guest today is actually making me a little bit nervous. I usually don't feel like this, but she's close to me right now and I'm just getting those feels, I am getting all the feels. It's my wife and my best friend, Anne Stevenson.
She was much requested to come back on the show and these have been some of our most downloaded episodes. I'm really excited to talk with her.
What's different today that we've never done before, we just started and guys, right now you need to do this, you're going to pause this and go and get involved in this, we just started a private Facebook group for the Model health Show listeners, it's called "Model Nation".
This is a community where you can interact with other listeners of the show, meet new friends, talk about the shows, get bonus content from the show, it's really, really awesome, so many great people are there.
I asked the community because they knew first that Anne was coming on the show, they want me to ask her.
And so I've got questions from the community that I'm gonna be asking her today as well. So pop over right now, go to themodelhealthshow.com/modelnation, alright, themodelhealthshow.com/modelnation, and you get access, request access, answer the questions because this isn't for everybody.
If you just kind of casually like this show, maybe you've seen me on Instagram you're like, "I like Shawn's shoes, I'm going to follow him." If that's the reason you follow me, this is not for you. If you love the Model Health Show, this is for you.
I think you're going to really, really enjoy this, it's going to be one of those things that really add value to your life. And so again, pop over there,
themodelhealthshow.com /modelnation, together as one word, and you can request to join the community.
So with that said, let me get to the person who helped to create the community in the first place, my beautiful wife Anne. What's up, baby?
Anne Stevenson: Hi, how are you?
Shawn Stevenson: Honestly, I told you my feelings right now, I don't know why.
Anne Stevenson: I know, I have no idea. Usually it's the other way around, usually, I'm like super weird and nervous. I think I just like gave that off to you today.
Shawn Stevenson: I'll take it, I want you to feel good, to feel relaxed.
Anne Stevenson: Yeah, I am.
Shawn Stevenson: Thank you for coming back, I know it's always like I've got to try to figure for you to get you to come back on the show.
Anne Stevenson: I know, you continue to challenge me in many ways and I'm learning not to resist anymore and just go with the flow.
Because some of the things you asked me to do I just don't have a clue, but then later on I listen or come across and I'm like, "Oh, okay, you knew what you're talking about".
Shawn Stevenson: They say, "What you resist, persists", you know what I'm saying. The first thing I want to talk about and we haven't really talked about this before, and you've been just experiencing a lot of insights revelations from this experience.
I think it is going to be super valuable for folks because there are a lot of folks dealing with different flavors of it.
You're from Kenya, that's where you were born, born and raised in Kenya. You came here when you were 12. I've known you for, we've been together for 15 years and I know that it was a huge culture shock and you went through a lot of different struggles, adjusting and some of that still carried over into our relationship, even years later.
Let's just talk about that a little bit, just when you got here, what was it like adjusting to the culture?
Anne Stevenson: It's funny, I think as you grow up, you find how the past had so much more influence in decisions today. Back then, before we came to America, it was just such an exciting time, we just thought this was just going to be the best thing ever.
My sister and I would daydream all day, and we'd just talk about how the schools would be, and I would sit next to a boy. Back then, I was going to all-girls school, so this was just so exciting.
And the opposite happened when we arrived. Not only was it that— because I was a cool kid, I was the cool kid in my school, so I went from that to being like, "Who is that?"
And this was back in the day when there was no internet and thank goodness now having the Internet, I think people are more connected, you get to see the other side of the world.
Back then, a lot of people in St. Louis, they have never met an African person, so I would tell people and I wasn't joking, for every dollar I had for somebody would ask me, "How did you get here, did you get in a boat?" I was like, "I love Fresh Prince, I'm in, let's go".
And also the other part was even though Kenya is an English speaking country, I
didn't know anything about the accent, that that's something different. I would talk and it's like, "What are you saying?" and I'm like, "I'm speaking English."
Small barriers and learning that I am different. I got my first pair of jeans when I came here, I thought that was the coolest thing ever.
I had never had jeans before. I come from a small, I would say close to the slums area, our house was half of this room and that includes our kitchen, bedroom, my mom's bedroom and my dad's, my sister and I lived and slept in the living room, that's where we lived.
It was small, but if you don't know any better, this is all you know.
But then when you're exposed to something different— and you're coming at 12, preteen, it's an age where you're wanting to be accepted obviously with your friends, new friends and all of that.
That was the challenging thing, so as most teens do, you want to change your hair, I wanted to get the clothes that everybody else had, and obviously trying to talk like how everybody talks.
My quickest way I knew was, "Let me get into some activity or a group and I'm going to fit in and they'll know I'm cool." And so the 8th grade was horrible, I didn't have a perm, my hair was huge. It was a disaster.
Shawn Stevenson: Not that you have a perm now, it's natural.
Anne Stevenson: Right, right. But back then that was the thing and I remember the first days of going to school, it was like, "What's wrong with your hair?" And they asked because they have never seen anything like this.
And for me, we got a lot of listeners from all over the country, I mean all over the world, and you can relate to this, those who are from other parts of the world when I say that popularity didn't come from how you look.
I never really paid attention to how I look, popularity came from being smart, like the smartest kid in the classroom was popular. I thought that translated here but it was like a whole new thing about looks.
So it was just kind of like trying to catch up and I thought the best way I'm going to try out for something, and in 9th grade, I tried it out for pompoms and at that time, it just felt like a fresh new start, because it's high school, and I got in, I got in, but this was for the next year.
10th grade happens, and my sister, my best friend, because again this was a time in 8th grade, 9th grade I'm trying to talk and be with friends, but it was really hard, so what tend to happen is I wouldn't speak all day, because I don't want them to know I'm different.
I remember specifically I would come home with my sister and she would say something and I would be like, "Hey, I haven't spoken all day," and she's like, "Me neither."
And it was good at least that there was somebody we were able to talk to and then she goes to college in 10th grade.
I don't go back to that same school, I go to a different school because my mom thought we were moving, but we didn't. I was like, "I'll just go to this school I'll start over because now I got the clothes, my hair is good", and I'm starting to understand how to speak a little bit with a little bit of slang here and there. I am like, "Okay, this is going to be good."
First day on the bus, which by the way, where I lived was, I think you talked about this Deseg Program with the kids in the city get bus to the good school, and I ended up on the bus but I didn't live in the city, I lived in between, not in the city, but in the edge.
And apparently, the kids were so upset that they had to get off the highway to come to get me. And the first day I walk into the bus and nobody wanted me to sit with them.
Shawn Stevenson: Like that Forest Gump scene?
Anne Stevenson: Yes.
Shawn Stevenson: "You can't sit here! This seat is taken"
Anne Stevenson: Right, somebody was pretending to sleep, somebody was like, "No." Until like I would just stand there and then somebody would feel bad for me. And that went on for every day for 3 years, until I graduated. You know this is how you start the day off.
I was like, "Okay, that's cool, let me find an activity to join." I tried out for the pompoms, maybe I can fit in.
And so I ended up trying out and again, that was a disaster because this was like high level, there was doing splits and all, but I would try my best with the tryout tape.
Every, every day I would do all my little steps and everything, but I knew, I was bad. Honestly, I was really bad.
But I loved to dance, I loved to dance, and in hindsight, Braden loves to dance right. And I thought I was just going to give it my best shot. And it was like 15 girls everybody tried out.
I guess I was so bad, me and another girl, we were so bad like everybody made it but us two. The coach had to pull us out of the room and tell us like, "You guys didn't make it, this is it." And I was crushed, I was really crushed.
Since that day, all I did was I went to school and I came back home. I didn't speak at my lunches, I didn't have any friends so I would go eat my lunch in the library, so I can just be in the backdrop like I just don't want to interact. I tried my best, supposedly, and it is what it is.
So needless to say, I think with the culture shock and the adjustment, it looked like this is going to have a bad ending, obviously, we know it's not a bad ending.
When I told my sister this stories she just was so emotional and I was like, "But that's okay, everything ended up being good."
I feel like a lot of people have similar stories, but it's just kind of like how we interpret it. And using those trials and tribulations, later on, to make us stronger.
Shawn Stevenson: Yeah. So obviously people that see you and know you now, they have no idea.
Because a lot of times people will see, people are just like, "Man they got it made, and they're blessed." You just must have came from that but we don't hear these kind of stories like, you really went through with it.
We've dealt with so many issues, there's another thing with our cultures, in your family, and even just in your culture in general, there are no public displays of affection, you never saw your mom and dad.
I'm coming around like put my arm around you around your mommy and you like move into the side a little.
Anne Stevenson: Even our wedding, I felt so awkward kissing you, like I know it's so awkward to me, I just wanted it to be over because my parents are right there!
Shawn Stevenson: Oh my goodness gracious. So that aspect and also just the adjustments and even how we talk, because I'm more aggressive, I come from a very aggressive, which people don't know that now because it's very controlled, but in my house, if there's a problem— you yell!
Anne Stevenson: I know.
Shawn Stevenson: What are you doing?! You just start yelling. So when we first got together, I would just be loud, but it wasn't necessarily a problem.
In your mind it was like, "Why is he so loud?" and then also, of course, when we would have a problem, it tends to be that way. And so what you would do is just kind of really play the background, you would really like—
Anne Stevenson: I would draw back. The other day, well I want to say it's been like a month now, I happened to open in the morning, just picking up whatever book and sometimes which thanks to you, I actually, I'm okay with not reading an entire book, because I get sometimes I'm not going to get through it.
But if I can just get a message or something from the book, that's meant for me, it is what it is, and I ended up opening, "Girl Stop Apologizing" just a random page and I just read that page and Rachel said something like, "You're not that same 10th grade girl. Stop acting like you're still that small girl back in the day."
I just closed the book and I was so emotional, everything just flashed all in. It took me back and just all the pieces came together, and I realized any time that I am faced with a challenging situation, any time that I'm pushed and I don't want to be pushed or conflict, I do revert to that small girl that 10th grade girl who got denied, who failed, who tried and failed, who just wanted to fit in and that all these things made me small.
Any time somebody would say something that might seemingly attack me and make me seem small, that made me angry. Because in reality, it's like I kind of feel that way, I do feel small. And I look young, even though I'm much older, I look young, but then there's a part of me that's like, "You are small, don't try," and pushing myself back.
And the other day when we had like life-changing news, that we're moving and everything was official, you were excited, you were just like over the moon and I
was like I think I even gave you one of those Oprah high fives.
Shawn Stevenson: Right, terrible high five. Terrible high five. And we were at an Airbnb, I got up, and I'm like.
Anne Stevenson: Oh man, he was shaking the plants.
Shawn Stevenson: I didn't shake, I just hit a plant and the plant just fell over this Airbnb house, and this all little internal plant crumbs were everywhere, it was crazy.
Anne Stevenson: And for me, I froze. I started just to feel really bad.
Shawn Stevenson: It's so crazy.
Anne Stevenson: I know, right. Because again, these are the root issues of my certainty and in past episodes, I have talked about my certainty needs and being met and when I have uncertainty how it's a really bad place for me.
I froze. I just started making up all these excuses and problems, and you told me like, "Can we even celebrate for 10 minutes?" And I was like, "Wow," and I told you, "I'm just scared."
And that was the first time that it all came together like, "You know what, you're just scared, and it's okay to say it," and it felt good after I said it. I felt more comfortable in just being happy in that little celebration.
Shawn Stevenson: This is very evolved from where you were because you wouldn't share what was going on in your inner world. And by the way, there were no plants harmed in the making of that excitement, it was a fake plant, all right.
I was like, "Why is this even here?" Anyways, so after I cleaned it up and then we talked, and you shared that, it just really again it surprised me.
And I'm not one of those big celebration guys, I really am onto the next thing but now, in learning from different people that have been in our lives, that have been on the show, folks like Michael Hyatt, for example, who tends to be a little bit more like me, but he's been in it for many decades and so he's somebody I look to.
He talked about giving time for celebration. And so after we work so hard to get all those pieces done, I was like, "Yes," and it's closing tabs, would you like to close tabs? But you have a lot of tabs open, literally and figuratively.
But for you, and what I want to talk about is when you opened up and you shared that, and because there's a lot of folks that are, we think that we're making decisions from the person we are today, but especially when stressful or difficult stuff comes up, we tend to revert back to that 10th-grade person or to that 21 year old person who was in that one relationship that really hurt them or to the childhood when you're 7 years old and you were punished for something that you didn't do or whatever it is— we revert back to those channels in our minds.
And so what was it for you, how have you gotten to the place where, in those moments, you can actually see like, "Okay, this is what's going on right now, I'm responding like this and I can actually choose to talk about it or do something different."
Anne Stevenson: I think first of all when you say that a lot of times those negative, it's a negative feeling, to be honest, and we know we don't want to feel this way. I knew I don't want to feel this way though I've never really dug into it.
But if I can recognize it, which was such a huge awakening, because I felt it was dormant and as you said, I think a lot of those things are just dormant in a lot of us, but just when you shine the light and you truly self-assess and you just start looking at all the decisions, like, "Oh that's why I was angry, it wasn't that cup" or whatever it was. That I feel is half the battle.
Then from there, I think it's just that self-reflection and also being okay when you don't pass the test the first time.
And like I did, I knew when it was happening because that would have been a bigger argument, to be honest, you had been working, you'd been doing all these amazing things and now this was the time everything's moving towards the right direction, and then we just got this news and then here I go with my feelings and all these problems and just to step back, like, "I know what's going on here", and I should have realized it sooner.
But you know it doesn't matter, let me say it right now because the truth is, I'm just scared. I do like my little certainty, I just want to come home, if my mom was here she would say come home and have my little milk and cookies and do my homework, I just want my little safe place.
Shawn Stevenson: We talked about this on the past episode which we'll put in the show notes, we talked about our driving forces and it was totally transformational for us in our relationship.
Love, there are two distinct phases and some people have a better transition and so they don't really realize, and those are like the **relationships where you transition from this in love feeling to actually real love, which real love is intentional, it's like, "I literally, I choose to love you," whereas when you're in love in the beginning like you're just, "I feel like I can't help the way I feel, I just love her, I just want to be around her."
Anna Stevenson: Like in movies.
Shawn Stevenson: And it's real, like, you really do feel it. But then when you transition, especially after you've been around somebody, I've shared this before, there was a time when I think we were together for like a year and a half, and I literally said to you, "I don't think I could ever be mad at you," and I said it like that. Cut to a few months later—
Anne Stevenson: No, no, in my head I'm like, "Right," I was already annoyed by so many things but I just kept them hidden. I just kept them hidden because again, I was just this small voice, I'm just going to suppress everything that I'm feeling, I'm just going to keep it low. And you said that it didn't make sense, I'm like,
"Everything's not all right, but okay."
Shawn Stevenson: You see guys, these are all news to me as well, when I hear these things. But we had got to that place where, we were very much working on ourselves, but we were working in different directions in a sense, many times. And we did come together in our mission in the mutual love of like helping people and helping people feel good and to be healthy and to be happy.
You did that from the component of like social and just chopping it up with people, I did it from the more teaching aspect. But then we got to a place where we really didn't even— and you shared this with me which I was so grateful, because like you just said, I was also annoyed with stuff, I don't come out.
But you would be coming home and if you see my car in the driveway, you'd be like, "Oh God, here we go." And when you told me that, I was like, "I feel the same way!"
When I see you're at home, just because I just want to do my thing and you do your thing and then we'll come together sometimes, maybe hang out, go to a movie or something. But it was very much like we were kind of friends.
Anna Stevenson: Lose friends, really.
Shawn Stevenson: But we loved each other. It was just a different flavor of it and we had kind of lost connection. People talk about this, about communication and understanding what you really needed and what I needed.
This is the big thing for everybody, is like if you want to be good because we didn't have examples, we never saw a healthy relationship.
We already thought we were killing it, which we were, compared to what we saw and so for us to really learn how can we have a great relationship, you have to study it, you have to find out.
And so we invested, we got that Tony Robbins program I believe is called Lovers for Life and then he introduced us to this concept of the 6 human needs and again, we'll put that in the shows, but I understand that really your number one driving force is certainty and for me, I was more of a growth and love, very much driven by love, we met there because we both had like love is like our number two driving force.
And so if I'm driven by growth and you're driven by certainty, I'm going to take in risk and doing stuff that you're not going to feel certain about, and we get into it because I'm feeling like you're not with me, like don't you see where we're going.
Just understanding this and wanting to make adjustments, because now it's like, "Oh it's a different language she's speaking, she's speaking a different language, she's motivated from a different place. Let me do my part to address that need and you do the same thing for me".
Anne Stevenson: I know you've said this numerous times on the show, and it cannot be stressed enough about making it a study of relationships. We already know relationships are the biggest component in influencing, but what does that mean?
For example, I come from a different background, a different culture, a different everything and so do you.
Even driving here, you shared with me a story, I've been with you for 15 years I had never heard before, and yet it's like when you have two people who decide to live together and all these things, there's so much we need to learn about the other person.
Having the willingness to do that is really important and it actually ends up being fun and the more you share, obviously create in that space because even to share those stories with you earlier on, I had to feel safe, I had to feel that I mattered.
So obviously creating those and then being able to share these things in that space and learning, continuously starting even right now.
Yes, I thought that with the Tony Robbins stuff we had that like, "Okay, we got the handled," then now reading The 5 Love Languages and it's just like a whole new different perspective.
And then we were talking about it and realizing, first of all, I was like, "I don't know what my love language is," which later on you discover it is because my love tank is full. It was just so true.
Shawn Stevenson: I just happen to be doing it.
Anne Stevenson: So true, but quality time and this spoke so that's my biggest one. And it made so much sense because whenever, I remember those a week where you were just so busy, just working, working, working and I'm a talker, I just talk all day guys, that's what I do. And I couldn't talk normally, "C-can I...?" And he just was like, "Not right now."
And all that did was at the end of the week, we ended up having the silliest argument but it was so intense because I didn't get my time with you. And I don't remember a thing we worked out together that week, it was just like I needed time with you just to tell you some random thoughts in my head.
Yeah, I remember you would like to start to open, "Hey—" and then you would stop yourself, it wasn't like I was just like, "Get away from me, not now," it wasn't like that, it was more like, "Babe, we talked about this, you know I have to just try to focus on this so we could do us," but it's not just the quality time just being together.
That's the thing, we're together a lot, but it's actually me focusing on you, and actually listening to you.
You do have a lot to share and that is another big change too, and I want to talk about this next because I can't negate the fact that that revelation and your ability to see the turbulence in your mind for you to actually be aware that, "Okay, it's fear that's happening right now, this is why I'm not feeling this."
You recently took some time away and you still continue to do this from social media and I know some people out there have had this experience. I didn't get remarried, but I felt like there's a new person in my relationship, just by you not being on social media, you started to become this motivational force in my life, very aggressive.
I said it today as I call you ET, you just come, like, "Here's what we're going to do, let's go" and I am just like, "Wow". But you just became this well of ideas and insights and you really started to see how social media can affect our minds.
Anne Stevenson: Yeah, I think it was the end of September, I knew I was going to do it and it had been looming in my head for a couple of months before I did it. I was just like this was a lot because this year there are so many big moves, there are so many big changes that are happening and I knew in order to get here, my mind needs to be sharp and I need to be focused.
I asked like, "Okay, I'm going to do it next month," but I didn't say anything to you guys because I already knew, you would be like, "Come on, that's too extreme."
Finally, the end of this September I was like, "Okay, I think I'm going to do this." And the final straw was I was on my phone and Braden was trying to get my attention.
And he said, "But you're always on your phone, why you're on your phone?" Because he's so good about calling us out, you know.
I was like, "Wow." And it's nothing important. I'm not working, I'm just scrolling, so I was like, "Alright, I am going to do this," but I knew in order, because I have done these changing my habits in the past, I know the first step is really having a deep why; something that is going to root me in and that's going to make me feel like, this is going to be a long term.
Because I feel a lot of times and that's a funny thing, now I see this, and I used to say the same thing too, "You know, social media it's not the real world." And it's great and I'm not going to bash because I love IG, it's the best ever. Facebook it's okay, but IG is amazing.
Shawn Stevenson: Everybody has their flavor. As you were saying.
Anne Stevenson: I understand. We get to connect with so many amazing people, deepen relationships because sometimes you might meet somebody in person but then you start to like follow each other and start to communicate more and find that you like the same things.
So in that aspect, yes, I got to deepen some relationships and all that great stuff, but I was like, "Okay, I need to find a deeper why."
My deeper why was parenting. I don't think nobody realizes this, and I'm pretty sure there are going to be studies coming out soon about this, but the truth is, this is the first era of parenting with a device, and I just started to sit back and I remember when I used to breastfeed Braden and I would just sit there and breastfeed and just look at him.
Or do you remember going to the playground and we would just sit there and we look at him?
Shawn Stevenson: Oh yeah, I didn't even think about that.
Anne Stevenson: I would just go sit there and look at him. But now it is just like something that always is in my hand and to look down and get distracted and it's like, "What are we actually doing here?"
Obviously, our children are going to be part of this generation with these devices, and even though everybody, even if we're on gone social media we're talking about how we need to connect and we need to get off social media is this and that, but who's actually doing it? Who's actually doing it?
And how can we teach our kids to do it? Because I cannot teach Braden how to maneuver with this device because again, it's not about being away from the world, it's being of this world and how to train him to do it, but I need to know how to do it, and not being consumed with it.
So that was my main motivating force, is at some point he will have a phone, at some point he will want to have social media, but like the mind and the strategies of doing that was super important.
Then I looked at my mentor parents, I think every parent should have mentoring parents that they look up to. I look at my mom, my sister, my grandmother.
I love Chalene and I love how she's raised two amazing individuals and I look at these kids and it's like they are doing amazing, my nieces are doing amazing. I turned out well, I think.
And I am just like, "Okay, well there's something here, obviously, they didn't have social media", there weren't social media like that back in the day, because you have so many things you're doing. And so it's just like looking at my mentoring parents, what did they do back in the day and I want to do the same thing.
I did it for 30 days, but I coupled it and actually, I had our fat loss code group, I
challenged them plus I needed accountability because if I say it, I say it to you guys but I didn't want to seem like I'm hiding it or whatever, so I also posted it there and anybody wanted to join me, and I called it Habit Detox because I coupled it with doing like a small fasting and a new workout routine.
I found, I guess, when you're anchoring a new habit when you have some other things together it really helps. And then also on top of that, when you're super serious and you found this is you'll attract books and podcasts and all these things about that particular topic. I ended up just reading some amazing books one of them was "Willpower Doesn't Work" by Benjamin Hardy.
Shawn Stevenson: That's right, so I get sent a lot of books, like a lot of books by publishers and I didn't crack into it, you just picked it up, I was like, "What are you doing?" You've never done that before.
Anne Stevenson: No, it just spoke perfectly to what I was going through because again, will power literally doesn't work. I remember the first few days when I was off, I deleted it off my phone and then I uploaded, there are many apps where you can see how many times you're picking up your phone and all of that good stuff and you can block yourself from all these places.
I knew obviously, I have the Facebook group, we do have this group, so I just put it on my bookmark on my computer and only would access it on the computer just to go in there and communicate with our members and all that good stuff, and then I'll be out.
And plus I would monitor and have like monitoring, and then every single day I would post my timesheet to the group so that they can see that I'm not cheating on being on my device.
But it was so hard, first few days, it was hard because it's like you just pick up your phone and you scroll to that app and you go there and it's not there, it's the craziest thing, and it's like there's a will power literally doesn't work, it's like if you're trying to be healthy you take out all the junk food out, I mean it's the same thing. We can't say, "Okay, I'm not going to go there," we just will and then you go into that rabbit hole, you're going to check something and you're in there for a long time.
This is what I wanted to say though— another deeper thing is dreaming. When we first got started, even before when you were coaching and the Model Health Show wasn't even like a thing, we had time to just sit there and think about what we want to create, how that looks like, what our relationship looks like.
Now when we have access to all this and seeing everybody what they're doing, it's great, I feel it's like great as a small inspiration. But when you get inundated in it like we are so much in it, I think it just starts to affect like our dreaming state like a young entrepreneur, can you imagine like back in the day when you were speaking in my mom's kitchen and then you're going back online and seeing that the other person like they just got this book deal— yeah, it takes more mental work to get your mind right and get back in the game because we're not dreaming anymore.
And when we dream when dreaming about somebody else's stuff, it's in our psyche.
I wanted to go back to dreaming again, what are my goals for real, what does actually look like? I can get inspiration, no doubt, I want to see it, but I want to just take a step back and dream more and work on my dreams.
Shawn Stevenson: And that's what you've been doing, you just showed me today you came across all Journal from 2010 and you wrote 5 goals and the first one had to do with us and our marriage, and this was before any of this has happened. I am obsessed with you now.
And it wasn't that I wasn't obsessed with you, I was just trying to hide from you a little bit but now it's just like the things that you wrote out have actually come to fruition in so many different areas, even with our career and the impact and all this stuff, and it's so amazing.
The power of writing things down, dreaming like you said and listening to your heart because that's what you want and not what somebody else wanted for you or said you should have.
Today more than ever we need to have his balance because again, the social media is connecting us and I'll put in the show notes an episode I did for eliminating distraction, it was like a masterclass on that and different ways to kind of modulate and handle social media.
And so this is why we've even created the Model Nation, this private group so that I can be more strategic and specific where I spend my time because my time is chunked. I get thousands of messages, from email to social media, all those inboxes and we had to hire a couple of people to help with them, but still, it's just so much.
I didn't think that that would ever be a thing, but what I do is, and just shout out to everybody who sends me messages and leaves comments, I get to as many as I can, every day, I'll take some specific time, because I've been more strategic in it, I get used to getting lost in it, and I just want to reply to everybody.
My inbox is always full and I get to like five and then get replaced by 10 but please, continue to do that because I'm still there, I'm still paying attention but it's on a strategic time so that it doesn't pull me away from dreaming and helping to create things that I can actually, give to everybody.
One of the things people hit me up a lot about is like, "Do you have this topic, have we talked about this," and so I want to create those things but I can't do them if I'm spending hours a day on social media.
So again, a great place to connect on this platform and to talk a bit more about The Model health Show and about health and wellness and just being the best version of yourself, definitely go to themodelhealthshow.com/modelnation.
I'm definitely there a lot more and showing my face and even asking the question about for today and I want to get to that next unless you have something else to share?
Anne Stevenson: Maybe I should give a few tips for those who do want to do a social media detox. I do think one of the first things that they can do obviously is having the why.
The second is utilizing, there are so many different apps actually monitoring your time even if you're not going to get off, just facing the truth.
I remember when I first said I was going to do it and I told a few people and they would be like, "Damn, I didn't know it was that bad," and I was like, "It's not that bad, but the thing is we don't realize how much time we're wasting on these things."
The truth is, we're here to be more productive and a lot of people are doing busy work when stuff is hard, what do we do, we just grab our phone for a minute, when we need to be in an intense thinking process we're grabbing it. When we need to do the hard thing, we're going to grab the phone.
But now, you have time to self-assess. And so finding out first how much time you're spending on there, being through and then obviously there are many apps, I know I Instagram has one where you can even block yourself out, you can give yourself 30 minutes just for the entire day and see how that works.
10 times out of 10 you'll see how much productivity you have, but most importantly, also your mental state on anxiety and feeling depressed.
I've spoken to so many amazing individuals who are doing so many amazing things out here and they all say the same thing — they feel they are amazing and they think they're dope and then you go on there and you leave there feeling less amazing.
And let's be honest, that explore page looks like spam, seriously we should just get away from that Explore page.
Then the other thing is what are your actual goals? What are your actual goals during this time and fill it with something of equal or greater value that's going to make you more productive and happy and also just time for just a deep self-assessment and being okay with being lonely.
I think that's the part which a lot of people are experiencing right now, it's just that feeling of being lonely, and it's okay, because I think from that self-assessment then we are able to make better decisions when we get back on the platform.
It's not a matter of not being on there, it's a matter of first creating a habit, a healthy habit, so when you do get back on there because what I do is just at the end of each 30 days, I'll just get on there for a day or two and check messages or connect or whatever, but now I found that even if I do have it on my phone, I don't even go, I never swipe on there, but my reasons are different.
If I post now, I'm more conscious of what I want to add to this because it's a lot of pseudo inspiration on these platforms. And what can I add value and you get to think deeper on what I can share as opposed to just, "I'm just going to share a workout and see me working out.
I mean, it's like a million people working out, is that all you've got to offer? What else can you actually share that can help just even one person to be better today?
And I love what we do with the boys and I love that message when somebody said that it just made their day when they saw our boys being goofy, they were having a bad day. Something small like that, it's great, but it can't be the end all be all of your day.
Shawn Stevenson: Wow, pseudo inspiration. Listen guys—
Anne Stevenson: I never said that actually.
Shawn Stevenson: These jewels, this is not what historically the things that you drop, and you've always been insightful and inspirational for me and really kind of my coach in a sense, but it's much more subtle, you've really just moved forward in that and being much more vocal.
There's a difference between you being a talker and you saying something. You have so much to say and it literally correlated with you getting off social media which was crazy to me. It was about 2 to 3 days later the first day was lull.
Anne Stevenson: First of all, he didn't believe in me guys, he did not believe I could do it. He was just like, "You're being extreme, just do for a couple of days," I'm like, "No. I either go in or I go out."
Nobody believed me, Jorden did not believe me and they were like, "You're cheating," it was funny, they kept on saying how I'm cheating. No, I wasn't cheating.
Shawn Stevenson: Well the proof is in the pudding, as they say. What proof is in the pudding? Never mind, never mind.
Anyway, so I think this is a good opportunity to kind of chop it up and go through some of the questions that we did receive from Model Nation. I'm interested to hear some of the stuff, one of the things folks were asking, several different people in Model Nation in the community were asking, “What are some books that Anne is reading, what does she recommend?”
And you've already hit like 3, "Get The 5 Love Languages", you hit "Willpower Doesn't Work". Most recently the book that you crushed was "We're Going To Need More Wine". Is that Gabrielle Union?
Anne Stevenson: Yes, Gabrielle Union, I love that book. Again, we have enough inspiration in things that we need to do and the how to do that are out there which I'm completely obsessed with self-development, but sometimes we need a slight break, just a slight break to just chill out and process all the information that I just learned.
And what's another book— "Everyday Enlightenment" by Dan Millman, that's a really, really great book.
Shawn Stevenson: Dan Millman has been on the show, which was, guys when we talk about moments how I started the show, it was one of my favorite moments because he's had such an impact on my life.
I remember going to see, there's a movie made about his first book, his first big book, "The Way of The Peaceful Warrior" there is a movie called The Peaceful Warrior and so he's been on the show, we'll put that in the show notes for you. And wow, yeah, it's such a good experience.
Anne Stevenson: Yeah and of course, I cannot forget a "Girl, Wash Your Face", it was just phenomenal like from front to back, just incredible.
Now I'm reading "Girl Stop Apologizing", well I haven't started yet, but like I just opened up the random page, but I can't wait to dig into that one as well. That's pretty much the ones that I can say.
Shawn Stevenson: "Girl, Stop apologizing", and by the way when you're reading oftentimes, what do you call me when I bring your coffee?
Anne Stevenson: Garcon.
Shawn Stevenson: She says I am her Garcon. All right, so this is true. I am a barista, she has a barista in the house.
Anne Stevenson: You're very good, just coffee is just not the same, it doesn't taste the same.
Shawn Stevenson: And so for us, and you are the one who really got me to drink coffee, you didn't drink coffee in our entire relationship for like 12 years up to that point, until we got Four Sigmatic and then you tried it, because I was doing the Elixirs, the Cordyceps, and Chaga, I've been doing this stuff for years but now I got it from somewhere that does a dual extraction I was pumped.
We have the superfood cabinet right and it's all these tinctures and pills and I
would like put alcohol extract into this movie and then like open pills and put them in, they did both of them together I loved it so much, but I would have the elixirs alone so like Cordyceps and Lion's Mane and Chaga.
And then I was like, somebody should probably try this coffee out. And so you tried the coffee and then you had it again and again and it just seemed like you were having such a good time. I wanted to be a part of it, so I tried the coffee because I just wasn't a coffee drinker and I've never looked back.
And the thing is like all the people that have those weird experiences that I've heard about and seen even clinically over the years.
Do you remember the client we had who came from Malaysia who was drinking 11 cups of coffee a day? And he thought he was dying, the doctors couldn't figure it out and he would have these spasms.
He was good within a couple of days, we just swapped out the coffee; this isn't rocket science, but just seeing people with those kinds of feelings, I have never experienced that.
Because Four Sigmatic is my go-to and so today I made you the Lion's Mane coffee which is organic coffee first of all so you're not getting pesticides with your cup, I am not bringing my wife a hot cup of pesticides, here you go, here are a little bit of endocrine disruptors.
And so we got that as a base but also, Lion's Mane is in there as well, Chaga too for the immunomodulating factors, but Lion's Mane, University of Malaya recently discovered that Lion's Mane contributes to neurogenesis, literally the creation of new brain cells and also it's been found to be very neuroprotective, specifically, they've been studying it for helping with symptoms of traumatic brain injuries and healing the brain, so it's really, really powerful, really awesome stuff. Apparently, you really like it.
Anne Stevenson: You've got to share, what do you put in this coffee it's so good, because I had to tell one of my friends, shout out to Jelisa I know you're listening, is how you make it because when she first had it she was like, "Ah, it's alright", then I needed to tell her, I had to take pictures of everything that actually goes in there. Can you share?
Shawn Stevenson: Sure, so first of all that's foursigmatic.com/model, you get 15% off everything that they carry. And so Jelisa grabbed her some, and we helped her out with some extra goodies too.
But she's gone from Starbucks to the regular, some people do the straight hitter, they do the straight coffee and that's all good, some people get the black, let me get that black bean extract, let me we get that.
But other folks, the coffee is really, it comes along with the sugar and the butter, so it is like, "Would you like some coffee with your sugar and butter," basically because it's just that stuff.
And so the way that we make it generally, and today was we do MCT Oil from Onnit, and today it was the Almond Latte flavor which is really great. We do some grass-fed butter, usually.
Anne Stevenson: Kerrygold grass-fed butter.
Shawn Stevenson: We also do a few drops of English toffee stevia, it is really pretty delicious and I like to add cinnamon too, cinnamon is a powerful antioxidant, it's got some factors for helping to regulate your blood sugar and it just tastes good. That's really how I do it, that's the formula, the basic formula.
We might tweak it here and there, add some different stuff, but that's how we do it so I think you'd really, really love it whether you like the straight coffee, jump off or you like to dress your coffee up in cute outfits. Pop over there and check them out foursigmatic.com/model, 15% off.
Let's get into some of these questions from Model Nation. Alright, so one of the questions asked for you my love, my bestie, is, "What is one of the biggest things that you have gleaned from your relationship with me?"
Anna Stevenson: I had to ask you what a glean was because I am a simple girl. That is really super simple, confidence. I went from, again, you heard my story earlier, from being this small, timid girl, even though I was like in a grown woman's body, now wanting to ruffle feathers, now wanting to speak up.
Literally from not wanting to hear my voice, I didn't want to hear my voice, I didn't want other people to hear my voice, to now obviously sitting here, and seeing your confidence in everything that you've done from when nobody believed in you but yourself, initially, because I was like, "Yeah, alright, but I don't know if you are like the best nutritionist in the world, I don't know."
But the confidence you had, it was undeniable and it was like, "How did you even develop that, that is so nuts to me."
But being around you and just kind of like picking that up here and there and obviously you challenging me, that's been a game changer for me.
Because whenever I think I have a handle then like, "Okay, we got this," then you come along with something else and you're always pushing the envelope in yourself and me too, but in turn, it turns into more confidence. And obviously from loving me does that's always a bonus.
Shawn Stevenson: Wow, I love that. When you said in a grown woman's body I almost cried, I had to hold my tears back. Yes, this is true. So, the other question that went along with it is what was one of the biggest things you struggled with, with me, dealing with/adjusting to me.
Anne Stevenson: You have such a big vision and you're a creator, I think like those people who have partners who are artists or they are just a constant creator, it's like a different breed like you have to wear special gloves to handle.
And it takes a study, it's been taken a study to find out what your needs are because you are creator, you love to create and I can assist with that or I can demolish you.
And so that's has been very challenging over the years to learn that dance on, "Okay, he's doing this now, when should I intervene in doing this," and like your attitude for certain things and the energy, because you're big on energy as well.
It's initially was figuring out, because again, we talked about this at the beginning with being in love, you just be in love but like to love somebody, it's going out of my way and figuring out what do you really need and want.
Let me take myself out of the equation, because initially, I was like, "So you needed some quiet," just fix it, fix your mind and go.
Shawn Stevenson: This truth will set you free. I love it. Come on.
Anne Stevenson: But that's because I needed to care more about where you are carrying more on. And then not only that, I'm going an extra step on how can I actually help you, and it can be like from the small things of having your meals ready, to let me put push away Braden like, "I'm going to take care of Braden while you're figuring something out."
And what's the attitude that I have in the morning that's going to help you or the boys, all these things adding up to what you're bringing to the table too, and just being more conscious of that because that was really tough.
Because there's ego too, because it's like, "What about you feel as well about mine?" It's like I want to tell you what I've been doing and how my day is hard, and so it's taken some used to to adjust.
Shawn Stevenson: What's so funny is that by you doing that it tends to come back to like I got home yesterday, we had, let's just share this because we're here, amongst friends and family, and I did share this on Instagram, by the way. So it was a great morning, I'm working on this project that I mentioned earlier.
Anne Stevenson: We left early.
Shawn Stevenson: Yes, you got out of the house so I could be free and just focus on this project. I did a great meditation session, I hit it hard. Hard yet soft, I guess. Anyway, so I did that, I did a little exercise, the 5-minute exercise, and this is something inspirational, walking to the kitchen to have my Four Stigmatic.
As I walked by, the sink in our kitchen literally fell through the counter and just collapsed and crashed and then the pipe broke, water went everywhere and I'm just standing there in soggy socks, my brain's trying to process fight or flight, so I dived under that thing, tried to shut the water off and just when and got towels.
The problem was solved, we got everything fixed, it took a day or 2 but there was so many dishes because we couldn't use the sink over those 2 days, yesterday it was a lot of stuff. I picked up Braden, and I came home immediately, I just felt it, I felt energized because of your support and I just went in there and started knocking the dishes off.
It is not on my jersey, like the dish guy. I am the coffee server, I am the barista, but know even the kids, Braden will do the dishes, Jorden does dishes you'll knock some odd jump in there from time to time to help out, but I just felt like let me just make sure she feels good and feels more free when she comes in here.
That's what tends to happen when we support our partner's needs, it will tend to come back to us, but it does require a little bit of patience sometimes.
So, let's move on. So folks that do follow me on Instagram at Shawn model (@shawnmodel) on Instagram, and right now there's a little hiatus with us working out because our schedules are different for the time being, but often we'll show a lot of our workouts together, so people are still asking about that, because some folks don't follow me on Instagram.
Somebody in the group in the Model Nation asked, "What do you like to do for workout, so not just what do you do— what do you like to do.
Anne Stevenson: I like and love to lift weights. I think it's such a great stress reliever to lift heavy and just to feel strong, especially when you have a tough day ahead or just dealt with the tough day to do that and push myself as much as I can.
So obviously, the deadlifts are, and that's been really great for my back over the years and just seeing how I can challenge myself with obviously the weight and the power of it. Just all the great pull-ups, still working with the pullups, that's always a great challenge. Just anything to lifting has been great, but recently, I switched up and slowed down a bit and added hot yoga in the mix.
Actually, this was inspired by your talk at the biohacking conference, which by the way, you've got to listen to him speak. I've listened to you a bazillion times now, and every time it's like— first of all, you're funny every time, I don't know how, but like super funny.
But I always get something new. What you were talking about was cross training, trying different things because of your work and so I just decided to add in hot yoga and what I found was just like different muscle groups were sore than before but most importantly, I got that connection back that I was missing of my mind and body. I didn't even know, we've been going like 100 miles an hour, it's been so crazy, I didn't even know I was stressed.
It's just like I am being on reaction and to do list, and just going, going and just even if I am still working at the gym, it is still kind of like hard, but sometimes I feel just getting a little switch and doing something that is going to connect your mind and body whatever it can be, it could be walking and listening to prayer maybe or just taking like a small breath and just chilling out a little bit has been super helpful to get the connection. Those are like my top 2 right now, I'm loving both of them.
Shawn Stevenson: So good, so good. All right, thank you for sharing that Mrs. Stevenson.
Next question, this one asked, "How does she handle the holidays and not indulging too much with sweets, especially with kids does your youngest son ask for candy and how do you teach them that even though it tastes amazing, it's really not that good for us?".
Anne Stevenson: That's quite easy. First, if I'm making the food, which if you make great stuff with great products and like everything great, it's kind of hard to sway and eat something else because again like we say if it's not in the house how can you want it?
And on top of that, if you're making really great stuff, in the holidays we set the tone, in the holidays we always set the tone on what's there with the food somehow, someway that kind of would happen.
I set the precedent by showing how we can eat better and stuff can taste good. I remember when we were doing raw food we made an entire Thanksgiving meal just raw food.
Shawn Stevenson: Yes, don't bring that up.
Anne Stevenson: But remember I made the pumpkin pie, it was raw but it tasted, you couldn't even tell, it tasted like it was cooked. And apple pies.
So there have been ways of going around that and making delicious meals without that sacrifice and in turn, with our son having access to them and tasting them, he automatically just loves it because, at the end of the day, they just want to eat great stuff.
We've never really had candy around, he knows what it is, but it took like years before he knew what it is.
It's not a thing for him and it's not saying like he can't have it or won't have it, because again we don't believe in restricting but we do believe in just like adding the good stuff.
We recently made the sweet potato muffins the other day and he was obsessed like he didn't even want anybody to eat them.
Shawn Stevenson: He was acting like he pays the bills. I went to get a muffin and he was like, "Wait, how many is there?" Like, "Dude, seriously?" But that's the thing, it's like swapping out and just upgrading things.
Those are from Michael Morelli's book "Sweet Potato Diet", shout out to Michael
Morelli who was on this show, we'll put that in the show notes for you guys too.
We added carob chips, not chocolate chips, carob chips to it, or you could do some organic chocolate chips, it's so tasty and it's got that base of sweet potato in there.
Anne Stevenson: Sweet potato and we used gluten-free flour and everything, it was a super simple recipe. Also, another thing was just him, my son assisting in making the food, making the muffins.
At my mum's, he makes the brownies which are I think it's like keto brownies and so he's involved in the process and he loves to take that to school so it's like I think involving them in the process and adding good stuff, so we don't necessarily take it away, if he goes to a party and ends of having a candy— cool, not a big deal, it's cool.
But the majority, 95% of the time he's having great stuff.
Shawn Stevenson: And one little thing to add to that is our inner intelligence too. He's been having real food his whole life and so he's had experiences of like what it feels like when you have too much ice cream and it became like a myth, like he was suffering, he just kept going forward and then there was a moment when I was like, "Okay, I'm going to let him see."
I remember we were at Yaya's, one of our favorite restaurants. He kept digging into the ice-cream, and he had a little bit of a belly ache and it was just relating mentally like, "Okay, it's tasty like I've never had that before when I have that much, so let me just be cool and have too much," because that body intelligence is there.
But when we got like chili cheese nachos from 7 Eleven on top of McDonald's whatever milkshake, it's not even milk, it's a milk-fake, and all those things that I really kind of grew up on, I don't notice when I have something that's not necessarily beneficial for my body, so it's just that body intelligence that evolves over time.
And you brought up the raw food, there is another thing guys, like and part of the Model Health Show is that I've taken time, I've been in this field like 17 years and years at a time I'll experiment with stuff.
If we're talking about keto, I did it for a long time, or paleo, or raw food. And we had that mushroom loaf I think for Thanksgiving. Everybody is that after effect of the bathroom the next day, you're welcome, it was like the Thanksgiving cleanse you get.
Anne Stevenson: Yeah, it was a Thanksgiving cleanse, for sure.
Shawn Stevenson: So yeah, we've been through a lot of stuff. We're going to hit one more question, then I'll let you go from this recording, but I'm not actually going to let you go, at all.
Final question from our group again, themodelhealthshow.com/modelnation, get into our private community, come hang out with us, meet some great people there, some new friends talk about the show access to some behind the scenes stuff, it is really, really cool.
The final question is from Amber in the group, shout out to Amber. She ask about, "Do you have any tips on staying true to your personal goals and mission, while balancing marriage and family?"
Anne Stevenson: That's such a great question and it's super loaded, so I'll try and put it in parts. The first thing is realizing there are seasons, and if you've not heard of that yet, you should.
There are seasons in your life, so if you have a little baby or if you're pregnant, you have a teenager in the house or obviously like us, we have a 7-year-old.
There are different seasons that we are always going through, and in each season you need something different. I would suggest first is all the inspiration tips that we've heard, if it's online, podcast whatever it might be, take in those that actually work for you and add those in.
It might be hearing like I need to work out in the morning but guess what, morning might not work out for me, it might be later on in the day that actually feels good to me and it's actually working with my schedule because of whatever practice, and that type of thing.
I think seasons, we've got to determine what seasons we're in, because that also affects our goals because I can think of the first few years of Braden's life. Everything was just all about him and keeping everybody healthy and everything working in its perfect unity.
And in there, I started to add in a little bit more of the working out in my mindset, and we talked about that in past episodes where obviously seem like I "let myself go" but in reality, I was focused on one thing.
Because the truth is, the truth is guys, we could only be focused on one thing really at a time. Yes, we might have second and third but truly, there's always one thing that's like right there.
My fitness goals kind of came in a little bit later, once my boy was a little bit more self-sufficient and the sleep pattern and all those things that were working.
Somebody who is newly married and has a new business, you're in a new season, however, one of them is going to take precedence over the other. Your marriage or your business.
Which obviously, if you listen to the Model Health Show, we're building our relationship first so it can support when you really anchoring this new business.
Because we can get all that success over here but if your relationship is suffering, you are suffering as well.
When we determine that, how I did is determining my seasons and being okay if certain things are not up to par of what I want them, because I know, okay, I'm going to get to that next quarter or even you can divide your year in like the four quarters and saying each quarter am I going to focus on?
And it's never going to be perfect. I mean literally, you just heard the story with the sink and I had like a whole plan for that day and it's kind of trickled off to a different part of the week. I wish I had more stuff done, but what are my five things which I'm proud of?
If I go to bed right now, I'm content, I feel like I did good today. Okay, the kitchen was a mess, however, I did work out, I put in some work in with our new site, by the way, and I got the laundry done.
And so I got my wins in and if I lay in at the end of the day, how does that feel to me? I might not get everything done, but the most important things have been accomplished. And the truth is we need help, we need help in every aspect.
We're not like back in the day where all our families lived close by each other, where they can come to take care of the kids or you can have a date night and drop them off there. It's like we're kind of on a little island all of us and those who are fortunate to have like the mother in law to step in, it's such a blessing because it takes a lot of stress out.
I encourage a lot of my friends, I encourage to get help, to hire, get a housekeeper and get laundry service. I recently found a laundry service situation and it's been just phenomenal and it is like for such a low price, I couldn't believe it.
But these things alleviate that part in our head where it's like check box that contains I need to get this done, because we're trying to get to these goals in my mission, but we can't do that if my house is messy, there's clutter in the closet and yet I still got to spend some time with my husband and go and talk over that hard thing that we haven't talked about.
It's like a lot of things and if we get a little bit more help towards the house and the housekeeping thing, I used to battle and I used to be even embarrassed, my mom knows, I would lie when the housekeeper would come, I didn't tell my mom for months, because I do want to seem like boujee or something, like I can't handle my house.
But the truth is no, there are so many things that we're doing and also I've been blessed to have a partner you, who is okay with that. You understood my precious, yes, I'm at home, but that is I mean like I have time to do everything and my roles.
Shawn Stevenson: You help to run everything, you make this possible. We wouldn't even be sitting here if it wasn't for you, so yeah.
Anne Stevenson: Yeah, it's been a game changer. Every successful woman that I've talked to, that's the first step is getting help, they all have help. I remember when we went to dinner with Jamie like all these successful women and we were sitting there and they found out that I don't have insta cart nor do I have laundry help and they just gasped like, "Are you serious? You've got to get all these things handled."
We can't do it all, it's just a myth, we can't do it all, we can do one thing or let's say 3 things at our best.
And then the rest things can follow into the next quarter, and being patient with our selves, just really being patient and kind to ourselves when we don't accomplish it because we'll get it next time, we'll get it.
Shawn Stevenson: You will, you will, you've been getting it. It's just been really amazing, you think that things can get better in a sense, but I think that this is, and it just speaks even with the relationships, and I'm so grateful, and I do receive these great messages, but for me, if we can just demonstrate what's possible. That's really what the Model Health Show is, and helping people to create their own model because it's going to have different flavors of all of this stuff.
And even though I'm in love with our relationship, we're still working on how can we make it better, it's kind of like when you work out, and you get yourself to a place of fitness and then you stop because somebody is like, "You're done, why are you at the gym working out, you clearly finished, you've made it, you're good."
You do that to maintain or even get better because there is always another level. Us reading The 5 Love Languages now, I am revisiting it, and just like anything in life, if it's important to you, you've got to make it a study.
Anna Stevenson: Yeah, and lastly, I think with the kind of world we live in, and with the social media like constantly getting all this input, it's we live in a fast paced world where it's just like beginning-end and we see the result, the before and after, and these relationship goals and like this is the end.
Truth is, we conquer a part of our life and then it's like we've gone to the next phase where it's like we either make any better or— you actually don't have it handled. I thought I had the fear of failure handled when I did the home birth, I thought I was the warrior, like okay, I got that handled, but no, there were still some aspects to it but also having the willingness when we self-reflect and like you said, making a study and going back in, going back in the lab, because the marathon continues.
Shawn Stevenson: Come on now, baby listen, just to share this, you really do inspire me every day, you are my coach even though you don't necessarily see yourself as these things, my inspiration, you've got my back and I feel it, you're there, you're my everything. We experience life together and we also experience it through two different sets of eyes and I love your eyes, I love the way that you see things.
And that didn't just happen because it's natural, I decided to really enjoy you and to enjoy your perspective and I'm just grateful that you continue to give so much of yourself and your insights and share your voice with me, it's one of the best things in the universe. So thank you, babe.
Anna Stevenson: No, thank you for having me and always pushing me, because here I am. I appreciate it, thank you, I take it, I take it in, I receive it.
Shawn Stevenson: Awesome, yes, yes, yes. Everybody, thank you so much for tuning in to the show today. I got a lot of value out of this and she really closed this thing out really well.
The only thing that I want to just reiterate is understanding that there are seasons to everything, and just being aware of what season you might be in.
Because sometimes also, especially with social media, we'll start to compare our season that we're into other people seasons, we'll compare our chapter 1 in our story to somebody else's chapter 13 and it's really understanding that all of these things are process and we are in different types of books in different parts of our lives.
One area of your life you might be an encyclopedia, like I got the smarts, another level of your life it might be whatever for dummies, right.
And it's just acknowledging there are these different places in our lives, there are different levels, different seasons and understanding that there is time to have patience but also persistence and that's really the balance, that's what grace is. And so really operating with more grace and acknowledgment of your greatness.
And if you've got a lot of value out of this episode, please share it out with everybody on social media. Add some positivity out there with your friends and family and you can tag me, of course, I am at Shawnmodel (@shawnmodel) on Instagram and on Facebook we're at The Model Health Show.
And of course, I will make sure that Anne checks it out as well and gets your feedback and your comments, the best place again, I said this several times, the community, the new Model Health Show community, Model Nation, go to the Model Health Show.com/modelnation (themodelhealthshow.com/modelnation) and request access to the group, you've got to answer some questions. You’ve got to make sure you are about that life.
I appreciate you so much for tuning into the show today and I hope that you have an incredible day, I had the best day ever. Take care, have an amazing day and I'll talk with you soon.
And please make sure to head over to iTunes and leave us a rating to let everybody know that the show is awesome, and I appreciate that so much. And take care, I promise to keep giving you more powerful, empowering, great content to help you transform your life. Thanks for tuning in
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