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TMHS 375: Build Strength, Build Character & Do the Right Thing with Jay Ferruggia

If I asked you to recall a time that you learned a lesson from a mistake you made, I bet you’d be quick to answer. That’s what our lives are—a series of trials and errors, and a constant opportunity to grow and learn. But luckily, we don’t always have to learn the hard way. If you’re observant and open-minded, you can take away profound lessons from the people around you. 

For me, Jay Ferruggia is one of those people. Whether we’re talking about fitness, sharpening your public speaking skills, or simply being a kinder and more patient human, Jay has a ton of inspiration to share. When Jay posted a list of 45 lessons he’s learned in 45 years, I knew I wanted to share it with you. 

On today’s show, Jay Ferruggia is here to discuss some of the life-changing principles that have helped him become a stronger, healthier, and more successful human being. You’ll learn about building functional strength, reframing your problems in order to create healthier relationships, and how to have a succinct mission that directly changes the world around you. I hope this episode provides you with actionable tips and insights you can utilize to generate change. Enjoy! 

In this episode you’ll discover:

  • What Jay’s morning routine looks like.
  • How Jay fine-tuned his public speaking skills. 
  • Why being charismatic is so powerful, and how to become better at it.
  • The best exercise for preventing lower back pain.
  • How to apply the mantra “less is more” into your workouts.
  • The power of becoming a risk taker. 
  • Why giving others credit is so important. 
  • The value of surrounding yourself with people who uplift you.  
  • How reframing problems can improve your relationships. 
  • Why the desire to be right causes problems. 
  • What it means to figure out your mission. 
  • Why you should make your decisions with confidence. 
  • What it means to value experiences over possessions. 
  • The powerful implications of doing what’s right. 

Ease2 - The Model Health Show


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You are now listening to The Model Health Show with Shawn Stevenson. For more, visit

Shawn Stevenson: Welcome to The Model Health Show. This is fitness and nutrition expert Shawn Stevenson and I am so grateful for you tuning in with me today.

I just got back off of the road speaking at an epic event in Seattle, and shout out to everybody who came out to see me, what a great time. And first of all, we've got one of the amazing speakers from the event on the show today, who is also a really good friend of mine.

But at the event, I've been working behind the scenes on a big project for a few months now and so this was like my first time to kind of get away, go out and talk. And so I was pumped to do it, but my body was just not acclimated to traveling like that.

So I'm in the Uber, right, I'm in the plane for 3 hours, I'm back in Uber again, I'm sitting at the event. And also me being behind the scenes, I had time to get in and respond to a lot of my DMs, and replying to emails and things like that that I've really been behind in the last few months.

And so my neck was like down in this position— silly me, you don't realize it and your body being trained one way and you're doing this other thing, I ended up in a lot of pain. It was like, "My neck, my back," right. It was just like out of sorts. And so my neck was like really bothering me when I got home and the next day when I woke up in the morning.

And it was one of those things where you're just like, "This is going to be a few days before I'm good again." But, aha— I had some hope because I had my Ease Magnesium, it's atopical magnesium I've been keeping by my bedside for 5, 6 years now, easy.

And so I know that I've been through this before and so I massaged some into my neck, I did a little bit of my lower back and the next day it's about 85, 90 percent better, and by the day after that, it was 100 percent gone.

Now, I'm not saying that this is across the board like some super pain reliever, but we have to understand when we're talking about physical pain, muscular pain especially, this has a lot to do with certain minerals that are running the function of those muscles.

And one of those minerals that are really responsible for regulating muscle function is magnesium. Now the problem is, according to some of the latest statistics, 56 percent of the United States' population is chronically deficient in magnesium.

And so this is a contributing factor to why a lot of us are in pain, specifically when we're talking about muscle pain, even headaches because as we know from our episode with Dr. Lisa Mosconi, the brain itself doesn't have pain receptors.

So when we have a headache or a migraine it's not actually our brain that's hurting, it's the muscles and the nerves that surround our head and our neck that are causing this intense pain, even our eyes. And so that's what it really is.

And magnesium has been found to actually decrease the incidence of things like headaches and migraines as well, not just muscle pain like I was experiencing. And so that's number one.

Also, listen to this: 2016 study reported that magnesium is able to reduce the activity of your sympathetic fight or flight nervous system and turn on the activity of your parasympathetic "rest and digest" nervous system.

And there was another study, and this one was published in Pharmacological Reports that stated that magnesium is able to interact with inhibitory GABAA receptors and induce anti-anxiety effects. Hakuna Matata. All right, when we're talking about magnesium, we're talking about Hakuna Matata, right, just making so many different areas of our health and our wellbeing better.

So obviously, food first, we want to make sure that we've got a great source dietarily, but I'm a huge fan of topical magnesium because eating magnesium-rich foods is one thing, we're not getting enough magnesium through that method unless you're like going ham on magnesium foods.

Oral magnesium supplementation can be helpful but you can only take a certain amount at one time because of the bowel tolerance, it's called bowel tolerance, basically, if you take too much of oral magnesium it pulls a lot more water to your bowels and it can cause diarrhea. All right, it can cause you to be running off to the bathroom frequently. So that might not be the best thing.

Topical magnesium, your body absorbs as much as it can use especially if you're getting the right stuff. Many people have tagged me, send me messages when they've got like company X magnesium, they are like, "Is this supposed to flake up, is this supposed to smell like dirty socks," or whatever, I don't know like these crazy things because they're not getting the right stuff.

Ease Magnesium from Activation Products is the bomb, it's over 99.999 percent absorbable, supercritical extract of magnesium and they do stuff the right way, nontoxic and it just works, I love this stuff so much. So it can improve your sleep quality, it can improve muscle function, it can help reduce stress, yeah, it's that good.

So pop over there and check them out, it's and you get a special hookup from them, it's exclusive with The Model Health Show because again, I've been using it for a long time, I'm a huge fan, you get 15 percent off, all right. So pop over there, check them out, ease, that's E-A-S-E Now let's get to the Apple podcast review of the week.

iTunes Review: Another 5-star review titled "Wellness Journey" by
E-dub the health advocate. "God has been working on me to get more sleep and after hearing you on Dr.Mark Hyman podcast promoting your book, I was hooked, I so appreciate your service, God Bless."

Shawn Stevenson: Awesome. Thank you so much E-dub the health advocate, I appreciate that so much, for taking the time to leave me that review. And thank you for making me a part of your world.

And everybody, if you've yet to leave a review, please pop over to Apple Podcasts or whatever platform you're listening on, or if you're watching this video on YouTube, make sure to leave a comment after the episode and let everybody know what you think of the show. I appreciate that so much.

And on that note, let's get to our topic of the day and our special guest. Our guest today is Jay Ferruggia.

And when I talk about legends, he's an absolute legend in the fitness domain, he's one of the original people, many, many, many years back who is online teaching fitness. E-books, fitness e-books, online coaching, I'm talking like back in maybe around 2000, 2002, alright, so he's been at this quite a long time.

And before that working in Brick and Mortar gyms and things like that. And today he's got one of the most popular podcasts in Renegade radio and it's just such a great human being. I had the pleasure of watching him speak at the event we were both at.

And man, it was just a powerful, powerful experience. And when you hear his story of where he came from to be able to perform like he is today, it's no less than inspirational and also loaded with powerful gems for you to take away to apply in your life. So let's kick to this conversation with the incredible Jay Ferruggia.

Shawn Stevenson: But before I moved here, we lived in the woods, you know what I am saying? Well, first of all, what am I doing living in the woods? Like again, if you see me, you'd be like, "What are you doing?"

Jay Ferruggia: Zero sense.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah. But it was just like that template from when I was a kid of I would go to the country with my grandmother every summer, like I'm going from literally like living in the city, gangs, drugs or potential drive by, like you've got to be on your stuff to like now I'm in Piedmont Missouri in the Bootheel, gravel road, my white side of the family, like I stick out like a sore thumb.

But in those summers I learned so much like going out to the creek and going fishing with my grandfather, learning how to shoot and all these things, man, but it was like a total culture shock, of course, but that imprint, and so we ended up— And another imprint when I was a kid was I want to live in the good area of St. Louis, right.

I was like, "When I grow up that's what I am going to do." And I literally forgot about it until the second day after I was driving to my new house out there, I'm just like, "Dude, how, how?"

And we got a house in the woods where I should be drastically uncomfortable, but just like I felt at home. We lived there for 4 years, man, but getting literally to the nearest gas station, at least 10 to 15 minutes, getting to the nearest anything, any type of business.

Jay Ferruggia: It's never how I would imagine.

Shawn Stevenson: I would put those 5,000 miles on my car just getting from my house to civilization. But you guys like being in Santa Monica, you just don't need to drive that much.

Jay Ferruggia: No, that's one of my favorite things. I don't enjoy spending hours in the car.

Shawn Stevenson: So you're like literally getting out, and that's the thing, man, when I came to your house and just like you could see, you could hear the ocean.

You got 2 dogs, you get out. So what is your routine like, when you get up in the morning and you like getting out, hitting the beach? What do you do when you get up in the morning?

Jay Ferruggia: I get up, I make coffee and while making coffee I play theme music to get me amped-up for the day.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah.

Jay Ferruggia: Yeah, so I'll play like The World's Greatest by R.Kelly, just imagining myself being the world's greatest. Because again, I was like, insecure and shy as a kid, I didn't believe in myself.

So I want to build that belief in myself, so I play The World's Greatest, I play the Rocky theme song, I play the Superman theme song, like this is all my morning mix. While I am getting ready I play some, song The Fire by the Roots, a couple of other songs that are on that mix while I'm making coffee and kind of doing my thing.

And then I meditate, but I only meditate for 5 minutes, I used to meditate for a really long time and it was just long. And then I get my most important thing done, so I'm up even before the dogs, like everyone I know that has dogs, the dogs wake them up at 5. My dogs could sleep till 10, they don't care.

So I get up, do my stuff, then I take the dogs out for a walk to get, I think it's really beneficial health-wise to get sunlight, no shirt on, no sunglasses, anything like that. That's kind of my morning routine.

Shawn Stevenson: And so the dogs, you got Brooklyn is the newer.

Jay Ferruggia: Yeah, she is new.

Shawn Stevenson: And the Bronx, right?

Jay Ferruggia: Yeah.

Shawn Stevenson: So I haven't met Brooklyn yet. Man, that is so cool. And like we were just talking, for me, like I haven't really gotten the chance to get up and like look around Seattle a little, but that's where I've seen you last. And dude, but your talk there at the event was one of the best talks I've ever seen.

Jay Ferruggia: Thank you so much, man, it means so much.

Shawn Stevenson: And, I love the fact, so of course like, the humor like literally, my cheeks hurt, I had a tear come down, but also it was just layer with gems, and you going through the process like you were sharing how you're able to do what you're doing on stage, coming from what you describe as being the worst public speaker who has probably ever walked the planet. So how did you get from there to that, what I saw the other day in Seattle?

Jay Ferruggia: Yes, so for so many years I was comfortable in my own gym, 1000 square feet, 10, 20, 30 athletes. I could yell and scream and do that. But once I got out socially like if all of us here were out at dinner and 2 more people came in and sat, I wouldn't say a word, like that was my max, you know.

And then, over time I was like, "Man, I don't want to be like this anymore." But in 2007 I got invited up with some colleagues and friends of ours to speak and I was just terrible and so I said, "I knew I was terrible at that."

Because everybody I think writes a narrative in their head of what you're good at what you're bad at, how you were raised, "My family is like this, this is how I have always been, I am going to be like this forever".

So I said, "Okay, I proved it to myself, I'm terrible at public speaking," so I didn't speak for like 4 or 5 years. And then once I moved here, my real reason for moving here was to reinvent myself, to work on myself, to fix a lot of the things.

And I knew that environment triggers behaviors and certain people that you see all the time, certain things, you just revert back. I just wasn't strong enough to overcome that, so I moved here to reinvent myself.

And then as I was working through this stuff I was taking improv classes, stand up, trying to get better just with people. I said, "Let me try to speak again." So our friends Bedros and Craig said, "Hey, would you want to come to speak at one of our masterminds?" And I was like, "Okay, here's my shot, let me try to redeem myself." And I was okay, I was way better than I was that time.

And then they invited me back so that was my kind of foray back into it and each time I think I didn't think that I would be able to get on stage, but there was like 40 people and I was like just because I love those guys and my friends I owe them to try to get better each time.

Then each time, you know, success snowballs, I think I could be better at this, so I kept working on it and working on it and any opportunity I could to speak I would take. And then I think improv made a huge difference and then just observing all the behaviors from everybody that you see, I think you can learn all the time.

So for so many years, I didn't have that awareness, but now it's like, if I'm with you I'm like, "Man that guy is silky smooth, how could I incorporate some of that?" If I'm with Kenny I'm like, "Oh, he lights up a room and jokes around," like whoever I'm with what can I incorporate that I think is really good.

And I'm aware, I catch myself like, "Why did I do that, I got to work on that," I just have a heightened level of awareness now. Also, I study stand up, like every night of the year pretty much I'll watch stand up for at least a half-hour, but not just like I'm there taking notes, I'm like, "Oh, I got to do that, that's really cool, how he does that?" I'll watch Comedians in Cars with Seinfeld, I'll take notes the whole time.

So just being aware and just trying to work all the time on it. And I think for Seattle, it was special too because it was my best friend and I was like, "I really got to put in the effort for him, and make it good." And he sandwiched me right between Marc Fisher and Cosgrove who I've seen speak a bunch of times and they get a lot of laughs.

And I was like, "I want to get more laughs than them," but I said to Luca, "Bro, you've put me in the toughest spot," he was like, "I know because I think you can do it."

Shawn Stevenson: Oh man, it's so awesome. And that was the thing too, it's just like that room, there's a familiarity there and so you had those jokes that were like literally start off with a slide of Luca, I think it was the laser eyes.

It was just like, dude, man, it's so funny, even the slides, like you put that work and that intention into it and it just like you had in your hand, man.

Jay Ferruggia: Thanks, I appreciate it.

Shawn Stevenson: And I don't know if you could feel that, but just like we were just going with you bro.

Jay Ferruggia: I did feel that, which is a cool feeling, like when you're talking about getting into the flow state of the zone or something.

Because it was a bunch of stuff that I made up off the top of my head up there that I didn't have appeared and I was like, "I can't believe that was that funny," I was like, "I can't believe I'm pulling some of this stuff up."

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah man, I love this so much. And so I'm going to come back to this but I want to talk about one of the other things you mentioned during the talk which was— you're actually studying bro, like you're studying standup, right?

And I'm just wondering like, "Man, why is this so funny," like this is just like incredible, like it's just layered, it's not just the fact that it's funny, but it's like it's really visceral because you are becoming it. But you also talked about the importance of developing charisma, right?

And it's like, for a lot of us we'll hear something like that, just like somebody naturally is charismatic, but you're like there is a science to it, there are pieces to it and you're one of those people that find out those things and you replicate it. So let's talk about charisma a little bit.

Jay Ferruggia: Yeah, that was something again I grew, what you said, I think people just think of it either you have it or you don't, but that's a myth, and there's a book called "The Charisma Myth" which is really good, I highly recommend everyone to check it out.

Shawn Stevenson: But why do we need it, first?

Jay Ferruggia: Because, I can't recite it word for word, but German sociologist Max Weber has this definition that you can look up of charisma.

And he talks about how if you have charisma you're basically endowed with the superhuman power and people will give you whatever you want, like the door is open for you when you have charisma.

So if you look at anybody who's doing things at a high level, the Rock, Justin Timberlake, Jimmy Fallon, they have charisma, they're charismatic. Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Bob Marley, whoever, you know what I mean?

But again, I saw myself as like, "I'm the least charismatic person in the world," but I didn't think that until I think it was really until I read that book and I was kind of on that journey of getting out of my comfort zone and doing improv.

And I was like, "Man, what are the behaviors again being aware of these people," like what does Arnold do, what does the Chris Rock do and how can I start to incorporate more of that.

And it does change the game and you can become more and more charismatic, it's just behaviors like anything else, just like you can get better at playing basketball, whatever, you can get better at it.

Shawn Stevenson: What are like one or two things that we could do to cultivate that charismatic spear for ourselves?

Jay Ferruggia: I think it really comes down to— so the self-help industry always still kind of gets you to think your way in acting differently, but I think if you act your way into thinking differently, it's more powerful so that's why I want to get up in the morning, I am envisioning, "Okay, who's charismatic? How do I want to," like we use visualization for sports or whatever Arnold talks about visualizing his biceps as mountain peaks.

Well pick somebody, again I was going to The Rock, I've been a wrestling fan so I've known of The Rock since '96, I met him a bunch of times. So The Rock is a charismatic dude and what would The Rock do?

And now it's easier for me, it's more natural but early on in this kind of progression that's what I do, so I am listening to this music, I'm visualizing who I want to be, how I want to enter the room and what are just a few, because if you try to adopt all the Rock's or Justin Timberlake's behaviors at once, it's going to fail, it's like anything else, like nutrition or training. If you try to do everything, it's going to fail.

So what are one or 2 things I could do better today? Can I maybe speak with more confidence, maybe have better body language? Can I give more compliments? Just pick a few things.

And charisma is also about how you make people feel around you, it's not just your performing like you know, because then it's kind of a fake thing, but how do you make people feel, all those things I think go along the way to being more charismatic.

Shawn Stevenson: This is so good, bro, like just hearing that we can model somebody, because we know this for maybe if training a sport, right, we got a coach.

But we can take those things on for every kind of character trait or every kind of what we would consider success, there are people that we can model, but thinking in terms of like charisma and like channeling The Rock, basically, like what would The Rock do. I think that's so brilliant, man, but I think we just don't think about it.

Jay Ferruggia: We don't think about it, no. I think people think you can get better at so many things, like you can get better any physical activity, throwing a ball, lifting weights, whatever. You can you're better at closing business stuff, we don't think about back on the stuff.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, yeah. You know what, this is a great segue to something that you posted the other day, and I love this post, this was 45 lessons from 45 years.

And I was sharing it with my wife not too long ago and I was just like, man, he's just dropping like this, it was like half a sentence, just gem after gem after gem. But I want to expand on it a little bit here. Because I thought that even a handful of these would be really helpful for our listeners and incredibly valuable, so let's go through some of them.

And also, of course, talk about why they really matter. One of the things you let off with was lift, carry and drag heavy things. And so first of all, why does this matter and why is this— let me take a step back actually.

You're 45, right? You are not the picture of what people would think when somebody is 45, the way that you're, your level of fitness, the way that you are working on becoming better and crafting your mind and your relationships, all of these things, there is just so much vitality and I really feel like you are literally just getting started, right? And I don't know if you feel the same—

Jay Ferruggia: I feel the same way.

Shawn Stevenson: I feel that coming off of you. And so for you to share these 45 lessons like to listen to you and to be somebody who is watching from the outside like these lessons are valuable, the things that you're sharing work. And so fitness is obviously a big part of your life. So why lift, carry, drag heavy things?

Jay Ferruggia: Again, fitness has been huge for me since I was 12 years old and growing up, watching Hulk Hogan, the Ultimate Warrior, and Stallone, Schwarzenegger on the big screens, I've always been a meathead. And to this day you look at Arnold, The Rock they talk about like that's the foundation.

Everyone that I know, that I look up to that's successful, that's their foundation, that's their anchor. And you can't be your best self if you're not taking care of your body like it's just a fact. LL, Dr. Dre, they're all doing it.

And I think when I was younger, when we were younger, people who were at 45 seemed like they were old and retired like you know what I mean.

And I think there are still people that believe that, because I get messages sometimes like, "I know my best days are behind me," I'm like, "What? No, you're just getting started." Like look at Will Smith, look at LL, like they're 50 plus and they're dominating.

So I think there's been a paradigm shift there for sure, and I don't feel old, I feel like I'm just getting started, but fitness is the thing, that's got to be the foundation. And also, you have to be selfish— I think most of the time you should be selfless and focused on other people, but you have to take care of yourself first.

If I don't get my morning routine in, if I don't get my workouts done, then I can't be my best for you, for everybody that I see, then I'm behind the 8 ball, then I'm stressed out and I have anxiety.

So you've got to take care of yourself, it's the best therapy I think. Yeah, so it's always got to be the foundation. And I put it like that because people complicate it too much now with Instagram in 2019.

It's like look, 3 to 5 days a week lift some heavy stuff, do some basic exercises, you know to do all the crazy stuff you see on Instagram, like just basic stuff and just get it done.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, but in those basics and even in this very short sentence you say something that I don't think we talk enough about. It's not just live but you said carry. Why carry?

Jay Ferruggia: Well, I mean that's basically the oldest form of strength training. Just picking up heavy stuff and moving it to build shelter, thousands of years ago, so I think there's still value to that, is picking up, I mean you have to do that in real life.

You're not going to lay down in real life and press a bar like this, everybody's always going to pick up suitcases, bags, kids, people, whatever, carry stuff. That's the most functional thing you can do, and so farmer's walks, [22:29] carries, whatever you should always incorporate that in your workout program.

Shawn Stevenson: You know what's crazy man, like it's been probably the last 3 months and you know I told you about my injury, but I've been doing carries, like I'll do that to warm up, like I'll just get it, nobody else in the gym is doing this.

I'm just walking around with a heavy kettlebell in one hand, or in 2 hands just walking around, walking back. They are like, "Is he putting it somewhere?" But I'm just replicating something that we would do normally in life, that we should be training for.

Jay Ferruggia: Totally, and it strengthens everything from head to toe, your ankles get stronger, your knee stability, hip stability, your back, obliques.

Actually, that's single on one that you're talking about, your QL muscle, your quadratus lumborum is one of the muscles that people don't know about that causes a lot of lower back pain.

And Dr. Stuart McGill who is like the leading spine expert on the planet, he says doing those is one of the best things you can do to strengthen that and thus prevent lower back pain.

Shawn Stevenson: Yes. So grab a heavy dumbbell or a heavy implement, a heavy kettlebell, whatever it is and carry one, just pick up a 100 yards or whatever it is, or walk around your gym, do that in switch hands, walk back, I think it'll be really helpful for everybody.

Jay Ferruggia: Absolutely.

Shawn Stevenson: That's great, man. And then also you said drag. That's another thing we don't really think about, but drag heavy things.

Jay Ferruggia: Again, going back to building shelter or killing a moose or something and dragging it, like that's one of the oldest forms of strength training, and that's what we have to do.

And it just builds strength in a more functional way than just getting on a machine or just doing like I said, a one-arm row or something like that, very functional and great for knee strength too and preventing or rehabbing knee injuries.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, yeah man, so good. Another one of these 45 lessons from 45 years is less is more. Less is more. Why did you put that on there?

Jay Ferruggia: I've always been attracted to that and I think most people, even if they don't think about it, when somebody comes in and simplifies something for you, like if you're like, "Oh, should I do this," and you have a million options, somebody's like, "Dude, those are crazy, just do this one." You're like, "Oh," you feel such a sigh of relief.

Some of my favorite books are The One Thing and the 80/20 principle and Essentialism, I think less is always more. The more you can reduce— that's why Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg and people have a wardrobe that they wear all the time.

The more you can reduce options, the more your anxiety and stress goes down, the more you simplify things, the better it's going to be.

No matter what it is, that's why I said like with fitness everybody goes on Instagram and like, "Oh, shall I do this," it's like, just simplify, just do a push, pull, squat, a hinge, it's pretty simple stuff. So I'm always looking for ways that I could simplify things.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah. One of the things I talked about with Steve Weatherford was he's really been, I think in the last couple of years shifting more towards eccentric training, you know, like just slowing things down and he feels that pump and the change with his muscle and the soreness, but his joints don't hurt, like he's not just like hammered like he used to be.

But he's still incredibly fit, and he's doing less exercises, which it's very counterintuitive because we think we should do more, like we've only worked out for 30 minutes, like we got to do 90 minutes, right. But the opposite is often true.

Jay Ferruggia: Dude, I think it's always true. Honestly, I think most people do way too much. If we're talking less is more specific to weight training and strength training, that's how I went from 147 pounds to over 220, that's how I got a lot of similar results with hundreds of people in my gym and online, is I really like working up to 1 to 2 top-end sets on stuff so like if you're doing a leg day, maybe you work up to one heavy set of leg curls and do one heavy set of split squats, one set of squats, one set of RDLs.

And what most people are doing, especially these days they're doing rounds, they're doing 4 or 5 sets, it's like that's a lot of junk volume. I think the main thing that really makes a difference is setting PR, so if you can do split squats with 30 5s today for 10, you should be doing 11 next week, and then should move on to 40s.

Over time if you just get stronger and easier way to get stronger is to do less, because that way your body is not so beat up, you're going to transform, you're going to feel better, your joints are going to be better.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, yeah, I love that man, so good, so good. All right, 45 lessons from 45 years, and guys, we'll put the post as well in the show notes, but this was from Instagram, you've got to follow Jay, he's one of the few people that I follow and I read what you write man, because it's just like there are insights there.

And you're one of the people like you are the walking talking representation of this stuff, man. And so let's see, another one that I wanted to talk about was take more risks. Take more risks. Why is that on the list?

Jay Ferruggia: I think not taking risks is the biggest risk. My friend and a former and client, you met Brian Pannuzzo, you met him up in Seattle. He joined my coaching program 2 years ago and he was in a 7 figure job, in Manhattan on Wall Street, and he's like, "I'm just not happy, I don't want to do this anymore."

So he took a risk to leave that, start his own like health coaching business and he moved out here. I think just taking more risks is, there's a saying that's escaping me right now, a famous quote but I think everyone has these things that they want to do and you play it safe, like, "I should do that, but I can't, I can't ask that girl out," or, "I can't make that move," or, "I can't leave that job because I have benefits and the government pays for this," or whatever.

At the end of your life you're going to regret all those things. So you've got to take more risks and I think I'm good at it now, but again, having that sense of hyper-awareness, I identify stuff every day where I'm, "Oh, I'm not taking that risk there, I'm playing it safe there," and I'm always trying to push myself a little more.

So I just urge people like what do you really want to do? If a genie came out and granted your wish what would you do? It's probably a lot of things you're not taking those risk and what's the worst that can happen?

And a lot of pods I say to people, "Well look at your track record." If you said, "I'm going to leave this podcast even though it's so successful and I'm going to try this," I'm going to be like, "Dude, why are you worried? You know your track record, you know you're going to be fine. You could fall flat on your face but then 3 months later you'll be fine, you know enough people who are going to help you." I think we all imagine that's worse than it's going to be.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah that's our natural tendency. And I think one of the, I don't know if it is a natural tendency or if it's impressed by the culture, but as we get older, we are more steered away from risk.

And even the society and also like, for example, with the financial stuff, they are just like you need to become more risk-averse as you get older. And I get it to a degree, but I feel that when you stop taking risk is when you stop growing.

Jay Ferruggia: 100 percent.

Shawn Stevenson: And also, of course, like that's kind of tied into why you're so much vitality and so much execution is that you're willing to take those risks. And if you look to people like yourself, it's just like, "Damn, I guess I should get out of this mindset that I can't take this risk."

And we tell ourselves these stories, I've got my kids or I've got this obligation, that thing, but if you're not— can you speak to this like what is the real reason that any of us, if we're kind of just feeling imprisoned in our life right now, right, and we're talking ourselves out of taking the risk to live the life that we want, what's going on there?

Jay Ferruggia: Yeah, I think we're always told no from the time we're kids like you said, it's kind of just beaten into us, don't take these risks. But you are, like I said, I think you're just going to have more regrets if you don't take them.

And a lot of people don't take risk because they don't know, it's the fear of the unknown. But you're never going to know. Nobody knows, we all want this person, "Maybe I'll call Shawn and he'll know or Bedros will know it," and everyone is like, "Just give me an educated guess." Nobody knows.

People say, "How do you know to do that?" I don't know. And a lot of times I'm taking action on stuff, maybe my business or something or doing something and people are like, "But how did you work through that?" I was like, "I didn't, I just pulled the trigger." I think you just have to do stuff and then figure it out, if it doesn't work like I said, you could fix it.

But I spent so much time because I'm an OCD Virgo and because as a kid it was scary for us to do stuff, and like everything was really scary and risky, so that was another thing that I had to work on, just like being better in social situations, that was another thing.

I wouldn't do anything, I was scared that everything was going to fail, everyone's going to make fun of me, but none of that's really true. And it's like anything else, it snowballs, once you take a small risk, you need to take a big risk, like it doesn't have to be this huge risk tomorrow, just do something that's out of your comfort zone, then it snowballs.

Shawn Stevenson: That's what I was looking for, man, was fear of the unknown. That's it, man, yeah. And the example which you shared at the event was— was it that kite—?

Jay Ferruggia: Paragliding.

Shawn Stevenson: Paragliding. So you paraglided and the instructor was like, basically this was at the absolute limit of miles per hour the wind should be going, and he was like, "All will be fine." Can you just tell a story?

Jay Ferruggia: Yes, so the night before we went, Luca was there but he had to catch a flight back and we couldn't get it scheduled before he left, so now I had to go alone, I couldn't convince Jen to go, but I already said to Luca I was going to go.

And so I'm sitting in my room and I read this article about a guy who went, when it was 25 mile an hour winds and he was like one of the best in the world and he died.

So the next morning I get up there, I get to the top of the mountain, it's 25 miles an hour winds and my dude, my tandem jump instructor, he's going, "Oh my God, this is crazy we can't do this." I'm like, "Bro, what are you talking about?"

Somehow I just figured the guy, he broke up with his girl, he has nothing left to live for, I don't know what happened. He's just be lining towards the edge of the cliff and 5 people go back in, they get in the, they got a little backdown.

I'm sweating he goes, "How are you feeling?" I go, "Pretty nervous." He goes, "Good, you're smart." I was like, "What?" This other guy goes, "Oh my God, you guys are jumping?" So he grabs me, they both start telling me stuff, and we're just off the mountain before I even knew what happened.

And we're going straight up, which I would think you jump off and go straight down. But I go, "Holy crap, we got sucked into this wind vortex just like the guy I read about last night, and this is how it ends for me, I'm going straight up into space and I'm just going to combust".

But you know, I got up there, I had this dialogue in my head, I was like, I always tell people like I am telling right now, "Take risks, be a man of your word, do what you said, I promised Luka," and I was talking about the value of being around people like yourself, like Luka, like whoever it might be that make you better by how they treat people, what they do, the risks they take, whatever, you're always getting better.

And so I was like, "I got to do it," you got to be who I said it was, that's why I go out. [32:58]

Shawn Stevenson: I picture you like exploding like out of a volcano.

Jay Ferruggia: Exactly. Just burning up.

Shawn Stevenson: So basically it's like a huge kite, right? Basically that you guys are hanging off of?

Jay Ferruggia: Yeah.

Shawn Stevenson: That's crazy, man. So even that kind of risk, is that something you step towards, like have you done other stuff that have been kind of more life-endangering to get to that point? Because I just couldn't imagine myself doing that.

Jay Ferruggia: Yeah. Well anytime I hang out with Luca that's always 5 minutes away, any time. But yeah, like when I first got here I was terrified of sharks, and so I forced myself to learn how to surf and go out a little time. Stuff like that, anything that I'm scared of, I said, "Alright, sooner or later I've got to try, I've got to push myself."

An opportunity comes up someone says, "Do you want to do something?" I go, "Alright, I guess I got to do it."

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, I love it, man. And by the way, so Luca was on one of our most classic episodes of The Model Health Show so we'll put that incredible coach, when I think about the movement I think about Luca, so we'll put that in the show notes for you guys.

And actually, so there's a few more of these 45 lessons for 45 years that I want to ask you about, but we're going to do that right after this quick break. So sit tight, we'll be right back.

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Shawn Stevenson: We're back and we're talking with one of my good friends Jay Ferruggia, and in one of his recent Instagram posts, which again, follow him, what's your IG handle?

Jay Ferruggia: Jay Ferruggia.

Shawn Stevenson: At Jay Ferruggia, which now when I put the first part of your name, your last name into my phone it will auto spell it, because you know you got like, it's a little tricky, you got the 2 Gs and the 2 Rs, yeah.

But guys, make sure to follow him. And in this post, one of the other things that you shared was, and this really hit me, this is the specific one I talked about with my wife first is to give more credit. Why did you put that on there?

Jay Ferruggia: That was the thing too that I struggled with for a long time that I thought if you gave credit to someone like, "Hey I learned this from Shawn," or, "I learned this from Mike," that it would reflect poorly on you, that you should know all the answers, you should have everything. Which I don't believe that anymore at all.

I think oftentimes when I have people over, people at the brunch or have an event and have people come speak, I'm the least impressive guy there, I am blown away by everyone else.

And I want that to be known, like, "Hey, this guy is so much better at this than me, this guy is so much better at that, you should learn from him." And I think that goes into building a network and building relationships too, is give credit like, "Man, this guy's doing great work, follow him."

And then you become kind of known as a hub anyway and a super-connector and that means more to me than anything else, really.

And I think that brings you so much more happiness too, no matter what happens, no matter what I achieve on a on a daily basis or over the last 10, 20 years whatever, it never brings me the joy like if you were to say, "Hey, I just got this, that's amazing," I feel so much better.

When my friend Becky became the first woman, the first female to headline Wrestle Mania in 35 years, I couldn't have been happier, like that was the most exciting, I'm getting goosebumps now thinking about it. So I think just giving credit is huge and it makes you feel better, too.

Shawn Stevenson: You know what's so crazy? And I just looked at the date on that, I talked about that same thing in my talk, and just it's one of those things where like if somebody had an impact on your life, let them know.

I'm very, very big on this because I saw that in myself earlier of like withholding giving credit but more so out of like we'll have these crazy things in our mind, like you know what, I'm a boss too or I'm graded whatever too. But I'm always, and people listening, you know that I'm a big fan of a lot of people.

Jay Ferruggia: I can't tell you how much it meant to me when you signaled me out on stage and mentioned that, I appreciate that so much.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah man, I'm going to talk about that in a second. But that's the thing, man, it's just like Eric Thomas, right, incredible speaker, I can't say it enough. Some of the guests that I've had in the show, Rob Wolf, I remember seeing him at an event a few years back, I was speaking, he was speaking.

And he had like a crowd of people around him, I had a few people come up to me, I'm just like, "Man, I love his writing, I should go tell him because he'd want to know that, " but then I'm like, "No, it's okay."

But now I'm very adamant about telling people I appreciate them. Like even if I've got to go out of my way to do it, you know and that's what I would want other people to do the same thing, like give credit to the source right.

Because it just keeps that energy circulating, don't hold that within yourself because the truth is, all of us are really a patchwork quilt of so many other people, and our uniqueness is brought to the table through that.

Jay Ferruggia: Yeah, I find myself in conversations sometimes quoting my friends and I don't even realize it at times, I learned that from being around Mike, from being around whoever.

And I think also we have this fear, especially when you are online and have a personality in business, like, "If I send them to Shawn's podcast they are not going to listen to mine anymore, they're going to follow that guy and stop following me," which isn't true.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, that's the thing too, man. And you know, I was just actually texting with Rob the other day, that's why he jumped into my mind.

He's just one of those people where I had the opportunity to learn something from, they've brought value to my life and I want to extend that out. And even in this episode, the hundreds of thousands of people that will hear it, for them to know like, "Oh, Rob Wolf."

And then you can check him out and me trying to withhold and like I'm the man, I'm the only person that can teach you or share something with you is silly. And so this is why I bring— my goal is to bring the very best people in their respective field.

And I want for people to be able, I know that I can communicate stuff in a way that a lot of people can't, but the same time there might be something that this expert says that strikes a chord, it's a different tenor, it's a different flavor that it really clicks for somebody. And I'm withholding that if I think that I've got all the answers. You know what I mean?

Jay Ferruggia: Yeah. And I think there are different energies too which I've learned to appreciate is maybe you'll resonate with Shawn more than you do with me, or maybe you'll resonate more to this guy.

And a lot of times when I introduce personal friends I'm like, "Hey, if you guys become best friends and I kind of fizzle out it's because you guys are meant to be together, I don't have any of that feeling anymore," it's like do your thing or just connect people and good things will happen.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, don't be a jealous boyfriend.

Jay Ferruggia: Yeah.

Shawn Stevenson: So, mentioning my talk, so one of the other things on your list was very few things are worth arguing about. And at the event when I was on stage speaking, I joked that if you lined up everybody at that event, a couple of hundreds of people and people see you, we'd pick you as a person most likely to choke out your mouth, you know what I am saying? Like somebody's mama get choked out, right.

And it's because of the perception, right. You've got the shaved head, you've got the tattoos, you've got the east coast swagger, and the smoldering look, you know what I am saying?

And so when people see that, they have these judgments, but in reality, this is part of your secret sauce because you're also one of the most thoughtful, one of the most giving, one of the most supportive people that I've ever met. And especially like you made me feel at home before I moved here, you know what I'm saying?

And also we connected with hip hop, those kinds of things as well like people wouldn't know those things when they see you, just like I started at the beginning the show when people see me, they're not thinking like, "Oh he definitely grew up going to the country with his grandma, fishing in the creek."

And so, but with that said, you having the demeanor that he might choke out your mom, why do you say that very few things are worth arguing about?

Jay Ferruggia: Because once you get over your ego and the desire to be right, it doesn't matter anymore. I think the desire to be right causes all the world's greatest problems like you know, my god is better than your God, or my politics are better than your politics. It just doesn't matter at the end of the day.

Once you're secure with yourself, once you've gone through the deep work and you're secure in who you are, it doesn't matter, I don't have the desire to be right. Someone could say something to me, somebody who works for me, my wife, whatever and honestly sometimes it could be off the wall insane and I'm not even going to sound like, "Okay, cool."

Because you're just repelling people, you are destroying, you are burning bridges, you are destroying relationships. I don't have the need to be right, I'm happy, I'm fulfilled. And the thing is, the need to be right, being right doesn't feel that good anyway.

Like if you and I have an argument and I win the argument, then afterward I'm like, "Oh, why did I do that? Now me and Shawn have this weird thing, who even cares, what did I win, nothing." You know what I mean?

So you win when you make people feel good and everything's good. Sometimes coaching clients will come to me and they'll say, "Here's the problem, this guy promised me this and said this," and I'm like, "No, no dude, I don't care, I don't want to hear who promised you, who said this, who bet, I'm impervious to that, I can't hear that. Let's work on the solution, that's wasted energy, let's be positive and let's move forward."

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, man, like so many different scenarios are going through my mind of in my life, the same thing, we're working, with we're fighting to be right rather than being happy even, right?

Just yesterday and I posted this, just you know to share my opinion and I had time since you sent me out but my wife and I, we used to get into stupid arguments because she will make a list for the grocery store.

I ask her for one thing, just one thing for me and 9 times out of 10 I'm not exaggerating, she would "forget" that thing. And then to top it off, sharing how far we live from civilization, all right, now she's got all the ingredients for dinner, all, but I forgot one thing. Guess who gets to go to the store?

Long day, I could have recorded a bunch of shows, you know I've been speaking whatever, you better get in that car and drive 20 minutes there 20 minutes back. And so we would have these conflicts, it sounds like, "You're trying to kill me, I know you are."

But in reality it's like I had to reframe it because it's so silly, it's something so simple. I'm grateful that I have a car, I'm grateful that I have a person who loves me and who wants to make food for me.

And I said like literally, I just said, "You know, this is kind of cute actually," and so like I took this opportunity, like, "Now I can listen to a podcast or listen to music, or get on the phone with somebody that I have been wanting to talk to." Like find another way.

Jay Ferruggia: That's the thing, you can always reframe it.

Shawn Stevenson: So how do you use that in your life, the reframing thing. I think it is a really important tool.

Jay Ferruggia: Yeah, I mean reframing— so one thing when it comes to relationships with anybody is I try to take the mindset and the approach that if I'm not at a 10 in that relationship then I can't complain about the other person.

So I want to hold myself that standard. So as a friend to you or to Mike or to Luca, whoever, as a husband to Jen, as somebody who employs people, I can't complain to my assistants and I can't complain to Jen and sometimes I'd be like ready to but I think, "What have I done the last 24, 48 hours? I don't have the right to complain, I don't have the right to say anything."

So I want to always hold myself to that standard to be better, be better for everybody in my life. What did I do, what I promised you, and if I didn't, then I'm like, "Well, you know, I don't have the right to do that." Now, it's impossible to always be attentive to everyone in your life but you can try, you know, it's aspirational.

And so until I do that, I got to check myself like, "I don't have anything to engage them about." And like you said, reframing, you can reframe everything, like you just said, like use it as an opportunity to listen to a podcast, use it as an opportunity for something, there's always a blessing, there's always a way to reframe things and make it positive.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, because the only person, not the only person, but I was creating suffering for myself by me try to prove something or I to be right, or to teach a lesson whatever, I'm suffering, because now we have a discord in our relationship for something so silly and small.

And I know a lot of us do this and those things add up as well. And so yeah, reframing is huge, and every single argument or conflict, it's ripe with opportunity.

Opportunity for personal growth, the opportunity for a new level of being, the opportunity of moving past a common problem, because I find that a lot of stuff that we go through are just you know common issues a lot of people experience, why do they experience those things?

Because we haven't, and this, the next one here had a direct mission to move forward and to get to another level, like we're staying in the pity party, we're staying in the drama, we're staying in the sameness, and a lot of times what we do is we compare ourselves to everybody else who's average.

And so one of the other things that you wrote for your 45 lessons in 45 years was to have a mission, right, have a mission. Why is that important?

Jay Ferruggia: It's important because then it guides everything you do throughout the day, from the time you wake up until the time you go to bed, in your personal life, in your business. So if you have that focus and sometimes people read something like that and they are like, "I don't know what my mission is," and so then they get overwhelmed searching for a mission. And I get that.

If you don't have a mission right now, it's not super clear, like it might be for you, I think what you should do is get up in the morning leave the house and your mission is to try to make people feel better, engage with people.

There's 100 percent chance, not 99, a 100 percent chance that everyone you meet will have stress, they'll have anxiety, they'll have insecurity, they will have unhappiness, they'll have something that they are struggling with.

So if you know that, you can make their day better in some way, you can give them a compliment, a smile, you can crack a joke, whatever it might be. And then at the end of the day, if that's all you ever did, you would feel exponentially better because look at the joy you brought to so many people's lives.

So that's your mission until you figure out what your mission might be, whether it's to build schools for people, whatever.

From now on that should be your mission, that was my mission and that is my mission every day, make people feel better. If that's what it said on my tombstone, "Here lies Jay, he made people feel better," I'd be happy about that.

And that's how you change the world like we're not all going to be Dr. King as much as we might want to be. I've looked up to people like that my whole life, but we're not all going to reach that level, but you can do it on a smaller level on a grassroots level, on the people in your life and if they pay that forward to other people you've changed the world in some way.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, man, that's powerful, so powerful. And I think it's important to let people know that your mission can evolve as well.

Jay Ferruggia: Yeah, totally.

Shawn Stevenson: Because my mission today is not what it was 10 years ago. But the thing is, it is just moving in that direction, you'll continue to find that path, and I love that simple thing which could be considered a small mission of just to make people feel better.

And it's so funny that within that context of something so small but profound, you'll tend to find what your bigger mission is, because it is usually attached to service and helping others.

Jay Ferruggia: Yeah, 100 percent. Yeah, it'll come to you over time, you can't figure it out, it kind of comes to you, like you said.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, yeah, man, it's so good, so good. So I've got a couple more of these, you know, there's 45 of them and they're all just great, man.

But another one is, and man, this one is super important— don't give away your power. That's one of your lessons. Talk about that one.

Jay Ferruggia: I've had friends and I used to do all the time too that mistake, self-deprecating humor for self-deprecating humor.

So they'll say things that make them look weak or they'll just joking around, I'm like, "Oh man, don't do that, that's not that great".

There are a lot of ways you give away your power where if you're not a fast decision-maker, I think that's something that people should get good at, and that is something that I was terrible at, I would always say to a girl, "I don't know, where do you want to go Friday night? What do you want to do?" I was with a group of people that said, "What should we do?" "I don't know, what part do you guys want to do?"

And so again, having that awareness, having that list of things you need to get better at, force yourself to make faster decisions, and that kind of snowballs too. Like if someone says, "Where do you want to eat?" Just pick a place.

Almost set a timer when the waitress comes like be fast, just if you make those smaller decisions faster, then it snowballs into making bigger decisions faster, so I think it's really important.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, and that's the thing that you do, like you literally say, "This is the place that we're going," even you text me on Sunday about the brunch, and I was just like, so I looked it up, you know what I'm saying, just like it's not like, "Hey do you guys want to get brunch somewhere?" Right? Like, you make the decision and then all of us just kind of come together and then good stuff happens.

Jay Ferruggia: Yeah, you have to take that responsibility because everybody's busy, so don't sit around and say like, "Oh, my friends don't invite me anywhere, nobody makes plans." It doesn't matter, do it. If you want to have that social life, if you want to connect with people, you have to take the reins and do it.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, yeah and especially— So again, I'm not trying to classify anybody strictly in a certain box, I'll just use my relationship as an example.

My wife, she's a woman, you know, she's beautiful woman, powerful woman, and she seems to be disempowered about picking places to eat.

And so, but the thing is, I can suggest the place but if it is not the place she actually wants, because she still, even though she's disempowered in this, that's just a facade because there's a place she wants to go.

So instead of me picking the wrong place, I say, "Hey, guess where we're going to eat?" And she's going to say YaYa's, she's going to say the name of the place right, so I'm like, "You bet," you know what I am saying.

I'm just throwing that out there for the guys, you know, if you just want to use that instead of you picking the wrong place. True story, I'm just going to share this, I feel called to share right now, I can't believe I did this.

But this was a few years back and I got her a ticket to see Beyonce, and the money, still you know, it was a big purchase at the time. And so I was just like trying to be thrifty and make sure that we get there on time, so I took it to Chipotle first. Right— bad decision, bad decision because I heard about that, it was like 2 years later, she was like, "You know when you—" I was like, "I didn't even—what?" Because I think we're going to see Beyonce again, she was like, "It better not be Chipotle."

Beyonce is more important, you know, but it's this the whole thing. And so I am just putting that out there and you know and making more decisions but being smart about it.

Jay Ferruggia: Yes.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, awesome man. So another one of these is, oh, this one is so good too— experiences over possessions. Why is that one on there?

Jay Ferruggia: It's funny, we were talking about this before. I used to be obsessed with material possessions and sneakers and gear and all this stuff. And I think it's because, at least for me, it's because that was my way of getting kind of validation and people saying, "Oh, cool shoes, cool this or cool that."

And now I can afford to buy so much more stuff than I did in my twenties and thirties but it's really hard for me to do, for me to buy an $8 pair of like Lululemon pants, I am like, "Do I really need those, I have 2 other ones, I don't know."

But I'll spend like if you're like, "Hey, we're going out to dinner," and it's going to be a 1000 bucks if it's with our friends, I don't care, I'll do that all the time.

If someone texts me, "Hey we're going to Iceland next week," "Okay, let's go." Because that's what you're going to remember, you're not going to remember the Jordans, I mean they're great, we both have them, but you are not going to remember that stuff, you're going to remember the experiences and the people, and laughs and the memories, and the adventures.

Shawn Stevenson: Man, that is so powerful. And we have never talked about this on the show before, but I've definitely experienced that, when I didn't have there were so many things that I wanted like I'm going to the mall and just want to, you know like we'll stretch that dollar trying to get those things.

And now that I am financially successful, it's just, I just don't want that stuff, you know what I'm saying, I just want to spend time with the people that I care about, I want to give, I want to take the money that I'm earning and rent out an entire movie theater for inner-city kids to come and watch, you know what I'm saying, like those are the things that I really light me up.

Jay Ferruggia: It's such an interesting evolution.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, it's crazy man, it's crazy and I've seen that kind of consistently happening with a lot of people.

Jay Ferruggia: Yeah. And you know what's interesting, I see some people that I know, that I'm friendly with that a lot of times complain about their financial situation, they're not where they want to be and that's okay, they're on their path.

But then I always see them with a new $300 pair of sneakers every other week or a new TV, so I'm like, if you have better kind of priorities and think about that a little, not that I'm the one who should tell you what to do with your money, but I just think over time you would be happier if you spend it on people and experiences like you're saying. It's so interesting that we went through that same thing.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, you know, I go back to that Kanye West statement, he said that having money is not everything, but not having it is. Right, so having money is not everything but not having it is, It's when we don't have money, it's like it is a driving force in your life, for sure.

And also to look the part, you know, especially again, like you're seeing folks, you want to look the part that you're successful. And at the same time, you're saying for folks, for us to act that way, but we don't have to have the Gucci drip and the [57:29] grill to act like we are wealthy.

And it goes back to— and I love the Jordans I have, let me show them, for YouTube, okay. But at the same time I look at people like Warren Buffett, you mentioned Steve Jobs, right, he's got a closet full of black sweatshirts, and he's worth billions of dollars.

You've got to have a balance of this stuff, of course, like if this is a passion of yours, go for it, like get dripped out, but at the same time, I think the thing that's really going to light you up is investing in experiences like you said.

Jay Ferruggia: Totally. And nobody ever notices somebody at an event or whatever, a party and says, "Oh look at that guy's $1000 wardrobe, it's not that exciting." But you meet a guy who's got a million-dollar personality, that's what you're going to remember.

Shawn Stevenson: Right, you'll remember it.

Jay Ferruggia: I mean, you should look good and obviously put some effort in your appearance but when people leave that encounter with you they're not going to say, "I loved that guy's shoes," you know, it's going to be more like, "That was great."

Shawn Stevenson: Right, exactly. You're not going to think about his shoes two weeks later. Unless it was like a hole in it or his toe sticking out. But, so, I am going to actually [58:41] by one more, man.

This has been great, like man, so powerful, so many gems. But this might be the biggest one on the low, like if people really get this, but these 45 lessons you shared from 45 years on this planet, again people get the whole post on Instagram, but you wrote: "Do the right thing". Why is that on there?

Jay Ferruggia: One of my favorite movies from 1989 Doctor Always Do the Right Thing. Well always, I think if you get up in the morning, so that's part of my visualization, right, and I think people who are maybe not where they want to be, people who are struggling, people who are suffering.

I still do this, I envision that there's always a camera on me, so there's a lot of times you can do the wrong thing, maybe it doesn't hurt anyone or maybe it would if they knew, but they don't know, you're by yourself, you're somewhere, they're not going to see you.

Do the right thing is hard. We don't always all do the right thing. Nobody's perfect. But I think if you could set that as an aspirational goal like, "I don't feel like doing this right now, I'm tired, I don't feel good, but I promised him I'll be there at that time," that's the right thing to do.

Where the easy way is text somebody, "Hey man, I don't feel that great, I won't be there." I promised someone I would do this, I promised someone I wouldn't do this, I said I would have this done at this time.

Easy, because I'm so busy I can't get it done what's the right thing to do? There are so many opportunities. 24 hours a day there are opportunities to do the right thing or do the wrong thing, it's really easy to do the wrong thing. A lot of times it's really hard to do the right thing, it's exhausting sometimes.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, absolutely.

Jay Ferruggia: But again, if you hold yourself to a higher standard, and like when I wake up, when I go into my office every morning and go to work, I have Dr. King, I have Jackie Robinson, I have Malcolm X, I have Bruce Lee, all these guys on my wall, Biggie, whoever, people who kind of created a legacy and changed the world and did the right thing a lot of times, not always, not everyone does the right thing all the time, but you could try and I think that's what counts.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, man, I love it, bro. Thank you so much. Jay, can you let everybody know about your podcast and where they can connect with you online?

Jay Ferruggia: Yeah it's is my website and then Jay Ferruggia on Instagram.

Shawn Stevenson: Perfect, man. Listen, again, thanks for making me feel at home, thanks for always looking out for me and inviting me to do stuff that you already know, like this is what we're doing, and taking that thing off my plate as well.

And just thank you for, you know, you, it is so inspiring to see you putting in that work and you studying and putting yourself in those uncomfortable positions. It really does inspire me, man. And so it just inspires me to keep moving forward.

Jay Ferruggia: Thank you so much, brother, I appreciate that.

Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, thank you, man.

Thank you so much for tuning into the show today everybody, I hope you got a lot of value out of this. I know that I did and I'm already reeling and pumped to go out and make people's day right now, and hopefully, I'm adding some more light and inspiration for your day.

And you can go and pay that forward, alright, the next person that you see when you're checking out at the grocery store or just walking by somebody on the street, just extend a smile, extend a, "How's your day going?"

I know that sometimes folks, they're doing the beep, beep, they're doing the checkout thing and they might just be in there, they might be having a bad day or somebody was just not kind to them; you can change their whole day around. I've done it many, many times, just by giving a smile, just by asking them, "How are you doing today?"

And just seeing them, right, that's one of the things that we really desire and we actually need as human beings is just to be seen. And so do the right thing is one of the big takeaways from today, even when it's the hard thing, which oftentimes it is. Sometimes it can be in a positive context or seemingly negative context.

Maybe the right thing is you've got a friend who's consistently, maybe they're into some bad dealings, right, and you've been given them money like you've been bailing them out continuously.

And maybe you're just feeding the problem and it's operating out of guilt instead of what is the right thing to do is to encourage them to figure it out on their own. Because you're not helping them by continuously bailing them out if that makes sense.

But of course, each of these situations is going to be unique, but these are things for us to think about— what is the right thing, do the right thing, even though it might be the hard thing.

Same thing with a decision on something that might be kind of inflammatory or a soft spot in people's lives, like politics or whatever the case might be. Maybe you don't fit perfectly in that political genre, that political camp because you have a different perspective on this other thing and the other thing is the right thing to do, but this camp agrees collectively that we don't do that thing.

So this is where we have to choose to do the right thing versus what's popular. I hope that makes sense and just looking for those spots in our lives because we're going to see them all the time.

And I think that the right thing oftentimes is to uplift somebody is to give a kind word, is to be supportive, but that support is going to take on different characteristics for different people.

But we can all do that starting today, right now, as you're going forward in your day and sharing a little bit of love with other people. I appreciate you so much for tuning into the show today, definitely pop over to check out Jay and his podcast and look him up on Instagram.

And we've got some epic, I'm talking about epic episodes coming your way so make sure to stay tuned. And by the way, guys, listen to this— in closing today, I've got something that just totally rocked my world, made my whole month.

And it was coming from our private Facebook group and somebody actually did a theme song for The Model Health Show that they play on the guitar, they put some music and lyrics to what they feel is there with the theme song that you hear every day when the show comes on and we close out the show.

And so in closing, I'm going to play that for you guys and if you want, of course, if you're not in Model Nation yet over on Facebook in our private Facebook group, definitely pop over there right now, go to and you can join us in our private Facebook group.

Pop in there, incredible people, incredible conversations, so that's And on that note, check out this song that one of our credible members from Model Nation put together. Have a great day, take care.


And for more after this show, make sure to head over to, that's where you can find all of the show notes, you can find transcriptions, videos for each episode, and if you've got a comment you can leave me a comment there as well.

And please make sure to head over to iTunes and leave us a rating to let everybody know that this show is awesome and I appreciate that so much.

And take care, I promise to keep giving you more powerful, empowering, great content to have to transform your life. Thanks for tuning in.

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