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TMHS 327: 5 Things To Quit Doing In 2019
Creating new habits is an effective way to transform your health, skyrocket your growth, and reach your goals. But sometimes what holds us back the most are those beliefs and behaviors that we haven’t (yet!) given up.
Letting go of detrimental habits that no longer serve you can help you refine your focus, boost your energy levels, and uncover the ability to achieve your greatness. On some level, we all get stuck in these negative cycles. But the good news is, our brains are constantly evolving. With intention and an actionable plan, we can release destructive habits, and embark on a path to becoming our best selves.
This is my wish for you in the new year, and our topic for today’s show. I’m sharing 5 toxic habits you need to ditch in 2019, and sharing digestible and realistic action plans to help you get there. So listen in, take notes on what resonates with you, and put a plan in motion to ditch your old patterns, reprogram your brain, and step into your power.
In this episode you’ll discover:
- The deeper meaning behind people pleasing.
- How to differentiate the line between people pleasing and being kind.
- Specific action steps you can take to break the cycle of people pleasing.
- Why our brains seek out evidence to support our beliefs.
- How to make your reality match your vision.
- The importance of writing down your goals.
- How to determine if your goals are big enough.
- The main reasons why we procrastinate.
- Why stress and procrastination go hand-in-hand.
- How procrastination can cause decision fatigue.
- The link between depression and living in the past.
- How to turn your past hardships into a learning experience.
- Four action steps you can take to change your identity.
- The danger of being a perfectionist.
- How focusing on perfection can inhibit you from reaching your goals.
- Why good is better than perfect.
Items mentioned in this episode include:
- Themodelhealthshow.com/sport _ Get a free bottle of Shroom Tech Sport from Onnit!
- Onnit.com/Model _ Get your optimal health & performance supplements at 10% off
- Organifi.com/Model _ Use the coupon code MODEL for 20% off!
- Model Mondays
- Eating for Cognitive Power with Dr. Lisa Mosconi – Episode 319
- 12 Tips for Conquering Distraction and Getting More Done – Episode 307
Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Model Health Show. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute and leave a quick rating and review of the show on Apple Podcast by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!
Transcript:
Shawn Stevenson: Welcome to The Model Health Show. This is fitness and nutrition expert, Shawn Stevenson, and I'm so grateful for you tuning in with me today, and welcome to the new year. Welcome!
This is a huge opportunity for a lot of us. We see these moments in time as a clean slate. And true enough, we can have a clean slate at any time, but this is one of those markers that's societally accepted, so we're going to roll with it. Alright?
And this year is a huge opportunity for you, and I really want to speak into that, and to provide you some insight, some tools, some resources, and to assist you in accomplishing your goals this year.
But the reality is this; you cannot bring the old you into the new year. Right? You can't bring the old you into the new year.
If you do that, you're just going to be experiencing the same old, same old. Different time, same old stuff, alright? So we've got to let go of some things because it's often not the things that we're doing, it's the things that we need to stop doing that are inhibiting us from our growth.
And so I can't wait to dive into that. Today we're going to go through five things that you need to quit in 2019. Alright?
It don't matter- you might be listening to this in the future, by the way. It's still going to be applicable. Alright? These are five strenuous things that a lot of us are feeling the pressure of, and we unknowingly- a lot of times this is going on behind the scenes and draining our energy, draining our focus, draining our ability to achieve our greatness.
And so these are these five things we're going to quit in 2019. And by the way, I don't know if you know about this, but Model Mondays is popping. Alright?
If you want to stay up-to-date with all the happenings going on behind the scenes with The Model Health Show, to get a little bit more, and to just be up-to-date with the books that I'm reading, new gadgets that I'm experimenting with, just experiences, thing that I want to share, giveaways.
I'm doing giveaways all the time of some of my favorite things. Make sure that you're subscribed to Model Mondays. Go to www.TheModelHealthShow.com/mondays, and get subscribed to Model Mondays so you don't miss a thing. Alright?
That's www.TheModelHealthShow.com/mondays, and get hooked up. Because every single week on Mondays, I'm going to send you out three resources, three tools, three insights.
It might be things from the show, it might be things going on behind the scenes, different studies that I've been looking at, really cool stuff to give you some inspiration, some knowledge to help you to kick off your week.
Alright? So jump over there, check it out, www.TheModelHealthShow.com/mondays. And also since it's the new year, we've got to start this thing off right, alright?
I want to do a giveaway right now. I want to give you a free bottle of my favorite pre-workout supplement, alright? And this is why I love it.
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The group that added cordyceps to their daily training regimen had twice the oxygen intake than the control group. Alright?
Now oxygen, as you know, it's essential for delivering nutrients to your muscles, to preventing fatigue, to helping to prevent the build-up of lactic acid.
Another study done with the same group found that there was in fact a 9% increase in aerobic activity from taking cordyceps. Alright?
It's one of the most valuable, most studied thing. It's literally been around for thousands of years. In Chinese medicine, it's one of the top five things.
But now we have new data, new testing methods to find out, 'Does this really work?' Yes. Cordyceps does work. This is in that kingdom of medicinal mushrooms, and this one has so much potential upside.
Now for me, my favorite pre-workout supplement specifically is the one from Onnit, Shroom Tech Sport, and here's why.
Again, it's not just, 'Oh, cordyceps sounds nice,' but they did a double blind placebo controlled study to find out, 'Does this product actually work when it's stood up to rigorous scientific testing, and it did.
Check this out, this was a twelve-week clinical trial performed at Florida State University, and what they found was that when taking Shroom Tech Sport, test participants were found to have an increase in their bench press reps by 12%. Alright?
How much you bench, bro? 12% more thanks to taking Shroom Tech Sport.
They found that combined bench press and back squat reps - so doing supersets - 7% greater performance in doing the superset bench press, back squat.
Also, they found the cardiovascular performance was increased by 8.8%. That's right on par with that 9% from the study.
Giving away, myself and Onnit, free sample bottle for you of Shroom Tech Sport. Just go to www.TheModelHealthShow.com/sport and you get the hook-up, alright?
Head over there, check it out, it's free. It's a free gift that we're giving to help kick off the year. Go to www.TheModelHealthShow.com/sport.
And if you've happened to take advantage of one of these giveaways with Shroom Tech Sport that I've done in the past, it's all good. You can always go to www.Onnit.com/model and re-up. Right?
If you liked the way that it made you feel- not only is it a pre-workout, but also pre-life, alright? If you just need that extra energy, the sustainable energy, true energy that's working alongside your body's own hormones and neurotransmitters in a more natural fashion.
Because again, this is an earth-grown nutrient. This isn't something synthetic and derived in a laboratory, and they are also including things like methylcobalamin.
So this is a methylated form of B12, again, from a food source, and it's all packaged together in this great supplement. And so you can always get 10% off if you go to www.Onnit.com/model. You get 10% off all of their good stuff.
Alright? So on that note, let's go to the Apple Podcasts review of the week.
ITunes Review: Another five-star review titled, 'Mind Blown,' by Doralina50.
"I just finished listening to Lisa Mosconi's interview on the brain. I think my mind is literally blown. When she said that fat and cholesterol can't cross the brain blood barrier, I immediately thought of the last two years of information that has been bombarded at me to eat fat in order to fill my brain, that it's the main source of fuel the brain likes to burn.
And now, all of this. Wow. I can't wait to delve into this book and learn more. Thank you for this podcast. I look forward to every episode. And PS, I've read 'Sleep Smarter' three times, and I keep learning something new. Thank you for the work you do.
Shawn Stevenson: Awesome. Thank you so very much for leaving that review, and wow, that episode was just bananas in pajamas. Of course, Dr. Lisa Mosconi, she is a neuroscientist and also integrative nutritionist.
So she's in a lab looking at brains, and also understanding the nutrition side of things as well, and just really bringing some big kind of ah-ha moments, and understanding how the brain is fueling itself, and what we're making our brain out of, the real value of fats and how your brain can create its own, and all kinds of other good stuff in that episode.
So definitely check it out if you happened to have missed it, and again, thank you for leaving that review. And if you've happened to not leave a review yet for the show, please pop over and do so. Pop over to Apple Podcasts and leave a review. Let folks know what you think about the show, and I appreciate that so much. And on that note, let's get to our topic of the day.
Today's episode, we're going to be talking about five things that we need to quit doing this year in order to achieve our goals. Alright?
Because again, it's not always the things that we're doing, it's the things that we need to stop doing that can free us up, free up the time, the energy, the clarity in order to achieve the things that we want. Alright?
We have to make room, and so to do that, we're going to go through these five Ps, alright? Five Ps that you need to quit this year.
And the first one, it really speaks to the fact of a lot of us- I know a lot of people listening right now, you have a big heart, and you care about people, and you want to serve, and to do great things, and to support other people.
But this can get into a danger zone when it starts to become something that we call 'people pleasing.' Alright? So that's the first P that we need to quit doing this year in 2019. We need to stop people pleasing.
Now, what does this mean? What is people pleasing? This means that- it's great to do things, and to support other people, absolutely. That's what life is all about.
But when you do this in a place or to an extent that we start to compromise our own energy, our own time, and our own ethics in order to appease other people, that is people pleasing, and that's what we need to quit doing this year to achieve our goals.
Now, people pleasing generally stems from a deeper issue of self-worth. Now, one of those things, the first thing would be stemming from a need and a desire- a wanting to feel liked and accepted.
Now, everybody wants to feel liked and accepted, alright? Except maybe Oscar the Grouch. I don't know if you remember him from Sesame Street.
He didn't really give two- he didn't care. Alright? But he also lived in a trashcan, okay? Well actually, he did care. I remember the episode- because I always wondered like, 'Does he have like an apartment in there or whatever?'
And I remember Big Bird went down into Oscar's trashcan, and it was like a nice little one-bedroom jump-off, right? And it was just like so fascinating to me as a kid, right?
But still, he still wanted- that's why he popped up and was talking. Even though he was talking stuff, he still wanted to be liked and accepted. Alright?
Everybody wants that, but again, when we do things to feel liked and accepted at the detriment of our own character, and our ethics, and our own energy, that is people pleasing and we need to be mindful of that.
Another issue stemming from something deeper would be validation of self-worth, right? Me doing things for other people makes me feel worthy of being loved, right?
Only if I'm doing things for these people or this person, do I feel worthy of love? That's a dangerous place to be in. Alright?
Again, we all need validation. We all need to feel like we matter, but when we're doing that in a sketchy place where our psyche and our well-being is dependent on that, that can be dangerous, and this is something we need to quit doing.
Another place that our desire for people pleasing can stem from is actually from maltreatment. Right? From maltreatment. From this desire and working to try to please someone that mistreated us. Right?
This may have been a significant other, a parent, but we're working with this desire to try to please someone who has actually mistreated us.
And I know that that's speaking to some people right now, but that sense and that drive may have pushed you to elevate in your career, or to achieve different things, but at some point we've got to evolve beyond that because that behavior of people pleasing can then spill over into the rest of our personality and show its ugly face in places that we don't want it to show up, alright?
So I just want to keep these in mind, provide a little bit of context, but also provide a little bit of science here in why this matters.
So there was a study published in the 'Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology' that showed that people pleasers engage in self-destructive behavior if they think it will help others to feel more comfortable.
For example, people pleasers - and this is clinically proven - people pleasers will tend to eat more when they think that it will make others feel more happy. Alright?
They will eat more food if they think that it will make somebody else happy. Not even them.
Truth be told, you've probably done this before, I've done it before. Right? You've got that aunt, she's made all of this food, you're not even hungry, you don't even eat that stuff.
But you come in, she's like, "You know, I made this red velvet upside down pound cake triple decker whatever, with sprinkles. Come have some, baby."
You're like, "No, that's okay. I'm good, I just ate. Or I'm doing this Keto thing." And she's like, "Keto, shmeto," right? And gives you- puts a little shoulder in you, puts a little elbow into your ego and your consciousness, and you succumb to that. Right?
You want her to feel happy, you don't want to feel like you're disrespecting her or anything like that. But we shouldn't be eating food based on a feeling that we're hurting somebody else's feelings. Right? It just doesn't make any sense.
Now, we've got to take this with a grain of salt. Alright? You've got to be careful with this. I'm not trying to get you hit, alright? I don't want your aunt just smacking you around, or your grandma, or whatever.
But I've been in those situations, and it's just being able to really stand firm, because I've done that before. You know, it's just like, "I don't eat that stuff anymore," or whatever.
And this is also- I just want to be clear. This doesn't mean that you can't eat the double decker upside down pound red velvet - whatever I said earlier - concoction.
Have some. If it speaks to your soul, and you're good with who you are, have some cake. It's not about that. Alright?
But if you know that even a little lick of icing will send you down a dark path, and you will straight up sell your furniture to get some more of that icing, and next thing you know, you have people coming to your house like, "Where is your furniture?"
"I had some icing. My auntie made me do it." People pleaser alert, alright? So you've got to be mindful of that. Alright?
So again, really interesting study found that people pleasers engage in self-destructive behavior if they think it will help others to feel more comfortable.
Where might you be hurting yourself? Where might you be hurting yourself in order to please other people? Think about it. Think about it.
There are probably some areas in your life that you're doing that. Now just to be clear again, because this can sound like, "I want to make other people happy, I want to serve other people."
There's a big difference between kindness and people pleasing. There's a difference. People pleasers mistake kindness for people pleasing very frequently, but in the context of thinking that this is kindness that you're doing, it leaves people open to be taken advantage of, and if you feel like you've been taken advantage of, like somebody's mistaken your kindness for weakness, you might need to just address that and look at that like, "Am I actually being kind? Or am I allowing people to take advantage of me because I don't want them to feel bad? Or I don't want them to feel some kind of way, so I'm just going to do whatever they ask."
Right? So that's one side of it. Also, there's a difference between people pleasing and being a good friend or family member. Right? People pleasing is wanting to look good in someone else's eyes, even if it's at the detriment of your own well-being. Right?
"I want to look like I'm a good son. I want to look like I'm a good daughter, a good wife, or a good husband." Right? "I want to look like I'm a good grandchild."
Right? To look good in someone else's eyes even if it's hurting yourself, that's people pleasing.
If you're doing things for others in order to get love in return, that's not love. That's a business transaction. That's not love. We have to really address that. Alright? Because that is what we're calling- putting under this big kind of umbrella of people pleasing.
I love this statement, this was psychotherapist Amy Morin says that, "You'll never reach your goals if you're trying to be all things to all people."
And this is one of those things that folks with a tendency towards people pleasing can fall into that, and really stress ourselves out.
So people pleasing is expressed by- let me give you a couple of examples. Not saying no. Not saying no. Also, not speaking up. Not speaking up for yourself. And another thing is not expressing how you feel.
If you're bottling up your feelings and keeping them deep, deep, deep inside, that is people pleasing because you don't want other people to feel uncomfortable about how you feel.
And also another big thing that I want to make you aware of is that people pleasing does not really allow you to receive. You're giving so much, you have all of this out-go, but not a lot of receiving and income except a false sense of value.
Because it's not real, it's transactional dependent. You'll notice a lot of times when people are engaging in people pleasing, we feel drained, we feel stressed, we feel under-appreciated. Alright?
And you'll know, for example, that if you don't have the money to loan them, suddenly they wouldn't be calling to see how you're doing. Alright?
Even if it's your little bit of money that you have for your kind of corner of the world that you're giving to your friends or family members, but suddenly you don't have the money, they're not calling to see how you're doing.
This could also be on a grand scale. Right? The entourage. Like folks are just hanging around because they're getting those benefits just being around you. Right?
Think about Hammer, that's what I think about, or formerly MC Hammer, such timeless classics as 'Too Legit to Quit,' 'You Can't Touch This,' and let us not forget about 'Pumps and the Bump.' Alright? Don't forget about that.
I watched that on The Box. I don't remember- there was a station, it was called The Box. They had it here in St. Louis, I don't know where else they had it, but basically it was a jukebox television station.
You dial the number, and you can pick your song or whatever, and it would play the video on TV. First of all, just the scalability of that, and as many people who are in this city, I don't know how that worked. I think it was a lie.
I think they were just playing whatever they wanted, alright? But you know, they would play a lot of hood classics. 'Pumps and the Bump' was on there, but also some Tupac, that kind of thing.
But then it was just like some random Blind Melon would come on, and I'm just like, "Who ordered this? Throwing my vibe off." No disrespect. You know, I'm probably into it now, but at the time I was like, "What is a blind melon?"
Anyways, but he amassed a huge fortune, just insane money. He was dripping swagoo, he was dripping money. He got a Taco Bell commercial.
This is unheard of for a rapper to get a Taco Bell commercial, okay? And in the commercial, by the way, I remember he jumped off of a building trying to get away from his raving crazed fans.
He jumped off a building and thank goodness he had his parachute pants on because they allowed him to parachute down to the ground. True story.
No actually, that's not true that it happened, but they did it in the commercial. Just to be clear, I don't want you to jump off a building like your pants are going to- you get what I'm saying. Alright?
So here's the thing, when you have the things that people want, they're just like, "What are we doing today, Hammer? Where are we going, Hammer?" They're all hanging out, but then the money is gone, friends are gone. They're not calling to see how you're doing anymore.
So just keep that in mind. If you don't have what these individuals want from you, all of a sudden the phone stops ringing.
Another example, when you finally stop stopping whatever you're doing in order to attend to their needs, suddenly they don't need you anymore. Right?
They're just used to you stopping everything you're doing to attend to their world. But when you decide, "I'm going to stop doing that," suddenly they figure it out. They don't really need you. Right?
So these are business transactions. This isn't really love, this isn't really service and friendship, alright? So just again, keep this in context.
So with this first one, what are some action steps? First thing that we can do to start to break that pattern of people pleasing, is number one, to say no to something small. Alright?
Because people pleasing, this can put you in a position where you're not really comfortable with saying no. Right? Saying no is like- it's very, very difficult for you. But start to say no to just something small. Something small.
Like you don't feel comfortable or you don't want to do something, just being able to say no. Give yourself permission to say no. Start small so you can work and build up that 'no' muscle so that you can stay true to your ethics, your beliefs, your positive energy that you're trying to cultivate for this year so you can win. Alright? You're going to have to say no.
Second thing, take a stand on an issue, even if you feel it might be negatively viewed by other people. Take a stand on something. This is another thing that people pleasers don't do. Take a stand.
This could be a political issue, it could be an issue with ethics, it could be an issue with the environment, it could be an issue with the food system, it could be an issue with the education system.
Whatever it is, take a stand on something. Have the courage and the audacity to take a stand on something, even if you feel other people in your circle might not agree with you. Alright? It builds that muscle.
And finally, another action step here is to express your opinion about something simple. Right? Express yourself. Express how you feel.
In a situation, if you feel that something happened that didn't sit right with you, you feel disappointed, you feel hurt, you feel saddened, speak up. Express how you feel. Share that. Let others know how it affected you and how you feel. Alright? Speak up.
So there are a couple tangible actionable things, and I hope that we kind of got a lifting the veil of this condition called people pleasing, and all of these things will help you to move past this condition and to give you more confidence to be yourself. Right? That's what we really want at the end of the day.
Paulo Coelho said that quote, 'When you say yes to others, make sure that you are not saying no to yourself.'
Alright, so that's the first one. This is the first of the five Ps that we need to quit doing this year to accomplish our goals. Five things we need to quit.
Number two, the second P is playing small. Alright? We have to stop playing small. You will never rise higher than the vision that you allow for yourself. You will never rise any higher than that.
The vision that you allow for yourself and your life, you can't go beyond that. So this is why we need to grow, and expand, and increase that vision of our lives so that our reality can start to match that.
It can't match anything that you can't see. Alright? And so by the way, I said 'allow' for your life, and I said this purposefully because a lot of times our visions are based on what we allow in from the environment, from what other people think is possible for us.
Not what we think, what other people think is possible for us. And also, we also derive our vision a lot of times from what we see currently.
We think that what is, is what is going to be. You know? Like seeing is believing, this is it. This is what I've got, this is it. You have to be able to see beyond what is to create that bigger vision. You know?
So it's that small self, and then you have the grand picture of what that looks like, and starting to ask these questions like what is the universe's vision of itself as my life? Right?
We have this expansive universe living, breathing, moving through everything. What is its vision of itself as your life? Think about that. Is it to have this little corner of whatever reality?
That's fine if that's your belief, but what do you think the universe's vision for your life is? Why are you here? Giving yourself permission to ask these questions.
And so the reality is this; it's time to start thinking and believing bigger than you have ever before. It's time to start thinking and believing bigger than you ever have before.
And this is because your beliefs - it starts with your beliefs - your beliefs are the precursor to your thoughts. Your thoughts are the precursor to your actions. Your actions are the precursors to your results. And your results are the precursors to the reality that you are experiencing.
It all starts with the seed of belief. That's where this takes place. So in order to stop playing small, we have to address those beliefs, alright? We've got to look at those beliefs.
And so understanding the power of our beliefs. Our beliefs are the only thing that could potentially be holding us down, because the number one driving force of the human psyche is to stay congruent with the ideas that it has of itself.
So if you- whatever you believe yourself to be, all of your actions, all of your thoughts are going to be congruent with who you believe yourself to be.
So if you see yourself as a person who's always late, you see yourself as a person who always struggles academically, you see yourself as a person who always fails in business, you see yourself as a person who has bad luck in relationships, or who struggles with their diet.
If that's who you believe yourself to be, everything in your life is going to be something that is going to support that belief. Everything about you is going to drive you to find evidence to support your belief.
Okay? And so with that said, this is why we need to get in there- we need to get in there and start to pull out those weeds, and change those beliefs.
And we've got episodes of the show where we talk more about this. I'll put one or two in the show notes for you, talking about beliefs, but let me start with something that's a good exercise. Alright?
It's like it's a slingshot effect. This is the other side of the spectrum of that faulty belief or negative belief on what's possible for you, we're just going to go to the other side of that.
And what it is, is for you to think about and write down what is the most incredible, audacious, amazing vision that you would want to see for your life?
What is the most incredible, the craziest, amazing things that you would want in your life? And to write those things down.
So if you could have anything - anything - if you could be anything, if you could do anything, what would it be? And write it down. Write it down. Have the courage to write it down.
Why do I say this? Number one, Dr. Gail Matthews conducted a fascinating study that found that test subjects who had clearly written goals increased their achievement of these goals by 42%. 42% versus study participants who didn't have written goals.
So writing it down has power. Alright? So giving yourself permission. And it's hard because- it's tough because you have all of these preconceived notions about what's possible for you, but if you could just throw all of that to the wind and just say, "You know what?"
Write down where do you want to live? Maybe right now you're living in a certain place, and you want to live somewhere else. You want to live in a different state, a different country. Where would that be if you could live anywhere?
You had no objection, nothing stopping you, nothing. All you've got to do is say it, and you get to have it. What would it be? Write that down. Where would you live? What would your family look like? What would your relationships look like? Write that down.
What kind of work would you be doing? Write it down. Maybe you're not at the place of employment, or you're doing the work that really fulfills you, and there is something else that is on your spirit that you would really want to be doing. Write it down.
What would your health and fitness look like? What would it look like? All you have to do is say it, just write it down. There's power in those words, and it's getting- you should feel uncomfortable. Right?
Even if it's a material thing. If you're like, "I want a Rolex. I want a rolly rolly with a dab of ranch. I want it," and you're honest with yourself. It's going to be uncomfortable because it's just like it's this material thing.
Maybe you were taught that having these material things is a bad thing. Right? But write it down, whatever it might be. Okay?
If it's about service, and giving, and impact, write it down. Right? What organization would you want to start or to be a part of so that you can make a difference here on the planet and really change?
For me, it's food culture. Right? And I begin by writing those things down, the things that I want to accomplish, and how I want to be of service in the world. Alright? Write it down. Think bigger than you ever have because if you can already see it, it's not big enough. Alright?
Whatever your goals are, they're not big enough. Double them, triple them. Okay? Think bigger.
Also coupled with that, this year it's time to start doing bigger than we've ever done before. It's not just the thinking part. You can't think your way into a new car, alright? It's the action behind it. Right?
You can't think your way into that new position, but it starts with you being clear and honest about what you want, and now it's time to put some action behind it as well. Alright?
So start thinking bigger, and this second P is playing small, so we're going to stop playing small, think bigger, do bigger than we've ever done before. Alright? So that's number two.
We're going to move on to number three now. Number three of these five Ps for us to quit doing this year in order to truly achieve our goals, number three is we need to quit procrastinating.
Alright? We need to quit procrastinating. Listen to this, so a definition, this is as a transitive verb. This is to put off intentionally and habitually. Right?
We become habitual procrastinators. This bleeds over into everything. Not only for a specific thing that we need to target and get done, but other areas of our lives. Right?
There's a statement, 'How you do anything is how you do everything.' So if you have a tendency towards procrastination, we've got to nip this in the bud. Alright? So transitive verb.
As an intransitive verb, this is to put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done. This is something that needs to get done, and we're just putting it off just because. Just because.
Now the question is why would we do that to ourselves? Why? Alright? It's not just why, it's WHY? Okay? Why do we do this to ourselves?
Here's a couple of reasons. One of the reasons that we procrastinate is that we think we have time. We think we have time. In a strange sense, when it comes to procrastination, we think we have all the time in the world.
But then on the other side, it's just like we think we don't have any time to accomplish our goals. Right? There's this crazy duality going on in our minds, but we think we have time.
Second, we think it'll be too hard. A lot of times we procrastinate because it's going to be uncomfortable, it's going to be difficult, we think it's going to be too difficult.
Another reason, we think it will be too time-consuming. Like it's just going to take a long time, I don't want to do it.
Another reason, we don't think it's important enough. Let's just be honest, right? This is a real reason that a lot of us procrastinate. It's just not important enough.
Another reason, and this is a subconscious belief that we carry, is that sometimes we procrastinate because we don't think that we have what it takes. Right?
We think that we can't do it, or it's going to really require us to go to another level in order to get it done. And so this is a self-confidence issue. So hear this, we procrastinate because of a lack of self-confidence.
Another reason, we procrastinate because we think it will be less enjoyable to do it than the thing that we're currently doing.
Like why would I stop doing this, and I like this, to do something I don't like? So we'll procrastinate. And so because of all these things, we think that procrastination in a strange way is helping us, but it's actually hurting us.
A peer reviewed study in 2013 found that procrastination is associated with high levels of stress. Test subjects actually used procrastination as a coping mechanism to deal with stress by postponing high leverage important challenging tasks, and instead, putting their attention on immediate rewards and menial tasks.
It's a coping mechanism that we use to block us from our greatness.
Another study, this was published in 'Psychological Science' suggests that the habit of leaving things undone to the last minute, IE procrastinating, generally results in low quality work performance and reduced well-being. It hurts us.
Procrastination hurts us because in the end, what we think we're doing by procrastinating is helping us, but what we're really doing is passing the buck to our future self, and we're hurting our future self.
We think we're helping ourselves, but we're really helping our future selves. We're just like, "Here, future Shawn, you deal with this. I'm good. Let me get back to watching Murder She Wrote or whatever.
I don't know why that popped in my head right there, but that's what popped in.
And so again, I really want to anchor this in, because it's so important and so valuable to understand this, that when we procrastinate, we're actually hurting our future self. We're creating more stress, more worry, more difficulty for our future self.
But again, we think we have time, and in reality the clock is ticking. It's always ticking. Alright?
So with this said with procrastination, this could be for big things, big things, big procrastination, but what I want you to do is for you to- if there's something that you've been having on your spirit, you want to start this organization, you want to switch jobs, you want to move your family, you want to start a new career, you want to create a new project, whatever it might be.
If you're waiting around for the right conditions, again IE procrastinating, if you're waiting around for the right conditions, if you're waiting around for the right moment to strike and to act, that's not how it works.
You make the right moment happen. Right? You make the right conditions. You create it. You don't wait around for those moments to be perfect.
This isn't like jumping into the Double Dutch rope. It's not like that. Life- you really do work to create your own luck.
And I love the statement that luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Right? There will be a time for opportunity, but you're going to make a lot of those opportunities by you taking action, and putting yourself in position to see them.
Alright? So that's for big things, and if you're going to have the life that you really want, you're going to have to stop putting stuff off.
Because right now, real talk, and I don't want to get morbid, I don't want to be too morbid, but it's a year closer to your funeral, and you have one year less time to create the life that you were born for. Alright? The life that you were truly born for.
That clock is ticking so do it now. This is the time. This is the time to take action and stop sitting on those good assets and to accomplish what you were born to do. Alright?
So that's a big thing, it's kind of a grand picture there. Got a little bit daredevil right there, a little bit dark, it got a little bit A Christmas Carol. You know, the Ghost of Future, Past. I don't know. Anyways, so that's for big things.
Small things, alright? Let's talk about procrastination on the small things. Here's the problem with it. When we're procrastinating on doing small things, little errands, taking care of stuff around the house, stuff with the kids, whatever it might be that can pile up. I know.
But the problem is when we procrastinate on them, they still sit around in our psyche. They take up mental real estate and they can drain us.
Not the actual doing of them, but the procrastination of doing them. It creates something that we've talked about on the show before called 'decision fatigue.'
Decision fatigue because in order for you to procrastinate on something, it's an action, it's a decision you make to not do it. It's still a decision, and every time when you see it again, when the opportunity presents itself, or the idea pops up again because it's filed away, it comes up again like you need to take care of this thing, and we decide again to put it off, it's yet another decision and eventually creates a situation where we're experiencing decision fatigue, and we don't really care about anything, and that can really be a problem for your future self.
And so for me, I've recently created- instead of having a to do list, now I have a just do it list. Alright? Just do it. So that's how my- and I know you're probably thinking about Nike. That's some good marketing, alright?
But for me, it's just like don't talk about it, don't get to it when- just do it. Right? I write it down, I've got to get it done. I've got to get it done.
And so the moniker - and I believe this was Og Mandino, but his mantra was, "Do it now, do it now, do it now." When you see the thing that you need to pick up on the living room coffee table, pick it up. Take it with you into the kitchen instead of walking past it and you're just like, "I'll get it next time." Just do it now.
Email. Don't open the email if you don't intend on handling that email. Alright? How often do we open an email and then we click a couple of buttons, and mark unread, and come back to it later? Just don't do it. It's creating decision fatigue because we're procrastinating on it.
Alright? And so what are some strategies here? How do we deal with this?
Well here's the thing, again dealing with our psyche. You might not want to wash the dishes, and instead watch Netflix. You might not want to work out, but instead scroll around on social media.
Much easier. Got the fingers doing side bends, right? It's some kind of a workout. But in reality, like those are the things that you're saying you want to do. Alright?
You want to get the house in order, want to get your body in order, whatever it might be. How do we do this? I'm going to give you huge- this is huge.
Alright, listen to this. What we need to do- because our minds work on questions. Our minds work on the questions that we ask it.
When we have a task in front of us that we need to execute on, we ask the question to ourselves, "How can I make this awesome? How can I make this fun? How can I make this enjoyable?"
Whatever question speaks to you, ask yourself that. If it's doing the dishes, asking yourself, "Alright, how can I make this awesome?"
This could be an opportunity that you- "I get to listen to that audiobook, or I get to listen to that podcast that I've been wanting to listen to. Or I get to put on some music and dance, and sing, and hang out with my kids."
Right? My son- my youngest son Braden just did this. You know, he was- I don't know where this came from. He does want to help. Like he does have that instilled in him.
And so like he's just really been about doing these dishes. Like I try to do a little dish, he's like, "No Dad, I've got to do the dishes." I'm like, "Okay."
And so you know, he's right there, because he's just still learning. And I went over and put some music on after a few minutes, and he was like, "Why are you putting on music?" Because I guess he just wants to focus on his doing the dishes.
I got the music on, and we start dancing, and having fun. And I put some of this on my Instagram story, by the way, and so make sure you're following me on Instagram. It's @ShawnModel. That's @ShawnModel.
And it just heightened that experience of happiness. Like this doesn't have to suck basically, alright? So how can I make this awesome?
Maybe it's you're folding laundry and watching your favorite show, right? You can still watch your favorite show, but how can you make this more enjoyable?
Also another strategy here for dealing with procrastination is you have to create structure and time parameters in your life. Because if it's just open-ended with you doing something, and you're passing the buck to your future self, you're putting yourself in a dangerous position.
So if we can create structure and create a time sensitivity ourselves, that can be very powerful. But how do we do this? We have to eliminate and deal with the distractions in our lives.
And so it was episode 307, 'Twelve Tips for Conquering Distraction and Getting More Done.' We'll put that in the show notes. If you missed the episode- as a matter of fact, if you heard the episode, this is one to listen to twice. Alright? Definitely instant classic. Tons of practical strategies in there as well.
Also another strategy here is to give yourself a specific reward for accomplishing whatever it is. Maybe it's like writing one hour each day on your new book.
Or maybe it's making sure that we're getting done the hiring process. You know, you're supposed to hire a certain amount of employees, or you're supposed to get some paperwork turned in, or get to whatever it might be.
If it's a task that you might see yourself procrastinating on, set a reward up for yourself. Right? So maybe it's, "I get this writing project done, or this paper turned in, and I go and get a massage."
Right? You book the massage, you go and reward yourself. Or maybe it's hanging out with friends, or maybe it's binge watching your favorite show. But execute first so you can enjoy yourself. Alright? Earn your reward. Alright?
Also, another strategy here is to make is social. If there's something that you've been dealing with- maybe it's just going to the post office. Right? You've procrastinated on it, and you need to get something out, and it's been a week or week and a half, and now you've got to express ship it. Right?
When you're going to the post office, take your friend with you. You don't literally have to physically take them. You can call them on the phone, instead of just laying around, laying in your beanbag talking to your friend.
I haven't seen a beanbag in a long time, by the way. I think those might be outlawed, like just for all- maybe the stuff- the beans inside of them, whatever it was. Maybe they're explosive, I don't know. But I haven't seen one in a while.
But anyways, so maybe if you're one of the people that have a beanbag left over, and you're sitting there talking to your friend, take them with you to the post office.
We don't have to stay connected in one spot. Like when I was a kid, like you couldn't- your phone stayed on the wall. Right? Or then you got a super long cord and you could walk around the house, but definitely can't leave. Right?
Now you can take your phone with you. Alright? Congratulations, you win. Alright? So make it social.
If it's exercise, take your family with you, or maybe it's your best friend. Like you guys go and walk together, go to the gym together, make it social. You guys go and roller-skate together, or bowl, whatever it is. Make it social so you get that exercise and movement, but you're also enjoying yourself. Alright?
Because that's the secret; find ways to hack positive psychology so that you can enjoy things that are good for you and getting things done.
Alright, that is our third P on our list of five Ps to quit doing here in 2019. And for me- and just to kind of shift gears a little bit, we also want to take advantage of this opportunity, this clean slate, to take our health to another level. You know, real talk.
And we want to make sure that we give our bodies the nutrients that it needs to thrive. These key components, these nutrients from the food that we eat, there are many that are essential, meaning that we cannot make them, and even small deficiencies can cause abnormalities in our hormone function, on our neurotransmitter function, on our ability to burn fat, on our liver function, on our thyroid function.
And so making sure that we're getting these things in on a consistent basis from food first, and also whole food supplements. Whole food based concentrates of some of the most powerful foods in the world.
And so for me, I really implore people - everybody - to make sure that they're on a green blend, a superfood green concentrate. But I also encourage people to make sure that it's low-temperature processed to retain the nutrients that we're looking for. Right?
So a company that's doing it the right way with intelligence, and also making sure we're getting some of the good stuff.
One of my favorite components of the green blend is making sure that there's some chlorella in there, and here's why, listen to this.
Chlorella contains lutein and zeaxanthin. These are two carotenoids that protect your vision and are clinically proven to lower your risk of macular degeneration.
There was a specific study on lutein published in the 'Journal of Oleo Science' that found that test subjects who consumed chlorella did in fact have measurable increases of this anti-oxidant lutein in their system. So it translates over from chlorella, it actually works.
It's not just like, "Oh, this might increase your body's supply of lutein." It does, alright? Chlorella is that deal. It's also well-noted for assisting in the removal of heavy metals and toxic chemicals in your body.
We live in a very toxic world. It's very, very different than the world that our ancestors evolved in. And there was one study published in the 'Journal of Medicinal Food' that found that dioxin levels - one of the most toxic things that we're commonly exposed to - found that dioxin levels in breast milk were significantly reduced in mothers who were taking chlorella.
Now dioxins are highly toxic and cause issues with the reproductive system, developmental problems, damage to your immune system. They also interfere with hormones, and are also linked to cancer. These are proven carcinogens as well.
And the researchers stated that, "These results suggest that chlorella supplementation by the mother may reduce transfer of dioxins to the child through breast milk."
So dioxins and other dangerous compounds are incredibly prevalent in our food and water supply today due to pollution, and it is what it is.
Even if we're striving to really get organic, and the highest quality food that we can, we're still going to be exposed to some of this stuff, so have this insurance policy in place.
Because these compounds also tend to accumulate in our fat. Our body is very resilient at protecting us, and so we'll kind of tuck it away in this little fat storage container within our bodies. Right? These little fat cells, because they're great at insulating us from the damage.
And obviously what can that lead to is very difficult to get rid of fat because again, it's a protective mechanism.
So let's assist our body in safely removing this stuff on a consistent basis. Chlorella is just one of the ingredients in my favorite formula, which is Organifi Green Juice. Alright?
This green blend- and it's a powder supplement that you can take anywhere. They have incredible go-packs. The formula is amazing.
We've got chlorella, we've got spirulina, which has been proven to assist in things like increasing stem cell genesis. This is the creation of new stem cells. It's incredible stuff.
Like some of the stuff that I grew up with, you're not going to get stem cell genesis from Salisbury steak. Right? From the Hungry Man dinner. Right? From chicken nuggets. It doesn't have that kind of power. This food has that kind of power. And this blend is incredible.
Also we've got ashwagandha in there. But here's the thing, it tastes good. It actually tastes good. We've got coconut water concentrate in there, a little bit of lemon, and it just tastes really good.
And I've tried dozens of green blends over the years. I've been in this field for over a decade and a half, and this is the best tasting one, and it actually stacks up, alright?
They do the work and make sure that this product is the best, and so definitely check it out. This year is the time. If you're not already on the Organifi team, head over, check it out. It's www.Organifi.com/model. That's www.Organifi.com/model.
That's www.Organifi.com/model and you get 20% off everything that they carry. The Green Juice, Red Juice, the Gold product. There are so many great things. Definitely head over, check them off, take advantage. 20% off, www.Organifi.com/model.
Alright so let's jump back into our five Ps. Alright? So we went through three, so now we're going to move on to number four on our list of five Ps to quit doing this year to accomplish our goals and to access our greatness.
Number four, this fourth P is to quit past dominant thinking. Alright? Past dominant thinking. What does that mean? That means living in the past. That means living in the past.
For many of us, we believe that our past equals our future, and it's absolutely true if that's what you believe. We've already talked a little bit about that, that history is just repeating itself.
And we might believe that history doesn't repeat itself technically, but it rhymes. Alright? It's definitely very close.
So we spend a lot of our time mulling over mistakes, misfortunes, and missed opportunities in the past, and this can create a state of depression.
What tends to happen with depression is that we tend to continue to process and go over past situations with a negative view, and a very disempowered view of them, and not really realizing that we have power to change now.
And this is something, again, having this within the construct of my own family, and seeing this absolute epidemic of depression, a lot of times this is tied to past dominant thinking. This is a big component of it.
And it isn't just this so-called chemical imbalance, right? Our thoughts create chemistry in our bodies. Your brain is the most powerful pharmacy in the world.
Literally thoughts of stress, thoughts of lack, thoughts of regret release chemicals in our bodies tied to those thoughts. Right?
We have an increase in cortisol, we have a decrease in the production of serotonin, and dopamine, and things like that, simply based on our thoughts. Right?
We can stress ourselves out just based on thoughts alone, so I want to keep that in mind that this isn't just something that is a good idea to stop doing.
We need to really address this because here's the problem with past dominant thinking is that you have no power in the past. You can't go back and change things.
But the beauty is this, is that now once you realize that the past is the past, you have no power there, you have all the power right now to affect change moving forward, and starting to use our past, and not allowing our past to use us.
Because everything that you've been through was providing an opportunity and a gift, as hard as it might be to see it, to grow, to evolve, to become more.
There's a gift in it somewhere, and it's about time that we start to access it. Alright? We've all been through stuff, but those who are successful, and thriving, and finding fulfillment in life are those who are using their past and learning from those things and not allowing their past to use them.
A good example of this is my son, Braden. He's reading a book right now on Thomas Edison, and by the way, he's in first grade. I was reading maybe Berenstain Bears. Like I don't know, it's a good school I guess.
So he brings home this book on Thomas Edison, and I thought that this was a great example of somebody who used the past and didn't allow the past to use him.
Because he failed thousands of times at perfecting the lightbulb. And by the way, from the book, I learned that one of the early filaments that was used that they found that worked was bamboo. Who knew? Alright?
But anyways, so if he would have been stuck in the past, and just thinking about all the mistakes, all of the failures, we wouldn't have light right now in our homes.
He had this audacious- and again, this goes back to thinking bigger than you ever have. He had the audacious idea that we can provide light in everyone's home in the world.
Right? That's so powerful. And not from fire, by the way. And to even have that as a statement, you're going to be called crazy, you're going to be called a lot of things. Right?
They're going to be like, "It's the dark arts. What is this witchcraft you've got, this lightbulb?" Alright? You've got to push through all of those things, all the negativity, all the failures, and learn from them.
Because what he said is that he simply found all of these ways that didn't work. It was all leading him to something that did work. Alright? So it's a great example.
And Edmund Burke said, "Those who don't know history are destined to repeat it." So it's important to know our history, but it's to learn from it, to derive the messages, to derive the lessons, and then to move forward. Alright?
So what are some action steps here? When it comes to moving beyond past dominant thinking, here's what I want you to do first of all, because we have to learn from it.
I want you to ask yourself whatever negative thing that you may have gone through, or struggle, or seeming failure, I want you to ask yourself, "What are three valuable lessons that experience has taught me that I can apply in my life today?"
Right? Let me say that again. "What are three valuable lessons that experience has taught me that I can apply in my life today?" And this is to get to a place of radical honesty, because there is something.
There are multiple things that that experience is giving you that you can apply right now. Maybe it's in how you are a parent. Maybe it's how you operate in relationships, how you operate in your business.
There are gifts there if we can look back at those negative situations and pull the good from it. And for me, just to share, I was really blinded by a mindset of violence as a tool.
You know, and people that know me today, it's like, "What? That sounds totally counter to who you are." And for me, it's because I grew up in an environment of violence.
And one of the stories - and I shared this on a past episode of the show - but when I was just a little kid, I was instilled with this concept that violence was a solution.
And I was four years old, one of my earliest memories, I was four years old and I kept getting into little scuffles with the kid who lived at the four-family flat next door, because we lived in a four-family flat, and there was one next door.
And again, I'm four years old, just a little kid, and he was a little bit older than me, he was at least a year older than me. He was in kindergarten or whatever.
And for whatever reason, for whatever unfortunate reason, my mother - my own mother - and family member for this kid. I don't know if it was his mother, I don't remember, but they decided to sit on the stoop or the front of our four-family flat.
They were sitting on the side little wall, right? This little border that they could sit on, and there was a walkway, and they decide to make us fight. They decide to put us against each other and have us fight it out.
And I remember just feeling like, "I don't want to be here, I don't know why this is happening. Why? Why?"
And before you know it- and I'm just a little kid, and he pushed me into the corner of a brick wall, and just busted the back of my head wide open. Just blood everywhere, and I still have this huge scar on the back of my head.
All these years later as a grown man, from that moment, from that decision that my mother had me- made me fight. And here's the thing, I can go back and I can pull three valuable lessons from that.
One of them is understanding that that situation eventually- because from there, fighting was a solution. My mother, even though it was not the best way to go about it obviously, she felt like- she came from an era of nobody is going to push you around.
You get out there. If you don't fight and stand up for yourself, you're not just going to have to fight them, you're going to have to fight me too, so you'd better get out there and handle your business.
Right? She wanted me to be a strong man in the world. Was that the way to go about it? Absolutely not. That was stupid, it was ignorant, it was hurtful, and I carried that for many years because it bled over into my life.
I was always fighting, and I came to a place in my life where I was looking for trouble. I didn't want it. On the surface, like I tried to mind my own business, stayed to the back, but I'd be scanning the environment looking for problems, and guess what? When you look for problems, you're going to find them.
And so I ended up getting kicked out of school repeatedly, I eventually got kicked out of high school my entire junior year for fighting, and eventually I learned that this does not solve problems, it only makes things worse.
And so one early thing that I pulled from this is that this situation taught me clarity and understanding, because eventually I saw that violence is not the solution.
Like even though I'm in these situations where violence is an option, it never ends well. It never ends well, and at a point you get to a place of real danger for myself, for other people, and it's just a terrible way- terrible tool to utilize because somebody is always going to lose, and they can lose very big potentially whether it's jail, whether it's serious injury, or even death.
It's just asking the question, "Is it worth it?" So I gained clarity, and so now that tool went way, way, way, way out of my psyche, and now I'm looking into situations for- and having more patience and clarity.
Another thing that it taught me, another gift that it gave me was it taught me to look out for those in need. And so seeing people who are in similar situations where they're not given that love, or that insight, or that support to grow themselves in a positive way, I can see that stuff, and I'm scanning and looking for it, and how can I serve people who have been hurt or are in situations where they're hurting themselves because of what they were taught from the environment?
Third thing, it taught me to forgive. It taught me to forgive, because I couldn't carry that around, because it's hurting me wondering why would my mother do that to me? You know?
And again, like she shared with me- and I used to think that it was like a big badge of honor that I had that situation happen, and I went and I retaliated the little boy the next day or so.
You know, I went and like hit him with his truck or whatever, and she would tell the story, and I'd be so proud, and then I'd think how hurt I really was. You know? And that that was not the way to go about it.
And so I had to forgive her because her intention- I know it sounds crazy, guys, and I know that there are people that are going to totally understand.
Her intentions were actually good because she wanted her son to be a strong man in the world, and nobody is going to push you around.
I got that message, but I also got the message that the world is not a nice place. So it taught me to forgive.
Now, if you can do that for yourself, I think it's going to free you this year to accomplish your greatness. We've got to quit past dominant thinking, 'Why'd this happen to me? Why me? Why didn't they help me?'
Start asking empowering questions. 'What can I learn from the situation? What was the gift that this situation is going to give me so that I can now create the life that I truly am born to have?'
Alright so now to change and break free of the past you must, must, must, must begin to change your identity. You have to change your identity.
This is the driving force, again, to stay congruent with who you believe yourself to be. So here are some action steps.
Number one, and we've talked about this a little bit already today. Number one is to work on your self-talk. To stop the past dominant thinking, we have to begin to speak to ourselves differently, and starting to speak to ourselves like we would do somebody that we love.
Right? We speak to our children in a certain way, or our best friend a certain way, but then we speak to ourselves like just trash, like somebody we might even hate. Right?
Now awareness trumps everything. Whenever you hear that voice come up saying that you're not good enough, you're stupid, you're ugly, you're whatever it is, these negative things that we say to ourselves, you catch yourself and you say, "No, no, no, no. We don't talk to Susan that way."
And you've got that other voice, that stronger voice to put that negative voice in check. We love you, right? Start to cultivate that love and speak to yourself in a kind manner.
Right? Check yourself when you're speaking to yourself in a detrimental way. So work on your self-talk.
Next, get yourself in healthy social circles. This is huge. We are in fact a product of our environment, but we are also creators of our environment.
We can create, and engage, and get ourselves in social circles that uplift us, that are healthy. This is one of the biggest tools that got me from where I was to where I am.
Next up, share your story. This is huge to break free from the past. Share your story. Open up whether it's with a family member, family members, friends, or professional counseling. Open up.
Stop carrying this stuff around because one of the greatest gifts I've seen is just when you speak stuff out, you process, and you can start to hear the things, and see them for what they are versus what we're carrying around in our mind, and looking at these things in these distorted fashions.
Finally, immerse yourself in positive reminders of who you want to be, and what you're claiming for your life. Alright?
So whether that's a vision board, whether that's having sticky notes posted up, pictures, different things that remind you of who you are, who you want to be- who you want to be, and the life that you want to create. Alright? Have those positive reminders.
Maybe it's your screensaver on your phone, alright? Something that reminds you frequently. Alright? So that's number four, we've got one more, five things to quit this year to achieve your greatness.
Number five is to quit perfectionism. Alright? This is from my guy, Craig Ballantyne, alright? He's big time into perfectionism. I definitely erred on the side of having that perfectionist trait as well.
So here's the thing, one of the things that often stops us from having the life and the results that we truly want is perfectionism.
And what this is, is wanting to be great, or even perfect at something stops people from taking the first step oftentimes.
So wanting to be great or even perfect at something can stop you from taking the first step, and it can definitely stop you from finishing.
There's two sides to this. It can stop you from starting, and it can stop you from finishing, this concept of perfectionism. Now listen to this, because it goes deep.
There was a study published in the 'Journal of Health Psychology' that tracked 450 older Canadians over six and a half years, and the study found that people with higher scores on perfectionism were more likely to die prematurely.
Taking all these other risk factors into the equation, their perfectionism score was correlated if it was higher with dying sooner of all causes.
Whoa, I didn't know it could do that. I know it can probably make me a little bit annoying to my friends, but to kill me? Wow, that's bananas.
Roots of perfectionism, let's see where this is coming from. Not many people look forward to struggling and working through challenges. This is where perfectionism, some of the- this side of the equation goes.
Because we'll have this thing like, "If I'm not going to be perfect at it, why even try? Why even try?" And I get that. I totally get that because nobody wants to struggle, nobody wants to be the new person in something. Or, most of us don't.
But here's the thing, being new and not being good at something, that's where the growth is. That's where the fulfillment in life really is.
It's not even achieving the thing, it's the process of becoming. That's where we really find joy, that's when we find our greatness, alright? It's the process of becoming.
So just keep this in context. With perfectionism, to kind of move that to the side, and to take action on the things that we want to do, and get past the idea of being perfect.
Understand that it's who we become in the process that truly creates our happiness. It's not creating a perfected human unit because I love this quote from Dr. Paul Hewitt and Dr. Samuel Mikail, and this is from case studies they published.
They said, "All components and dimensions of perfectionism ultimately involve attempts to perfect an imperfect self." You'll never be perfect. Never be perfect.
Even the term- we barely use that for anything. Even a perfect game in baseball, it's not really perfect. Alright? It's just like the other team not getting certain stats.
But you're not throwing every pitch perfect. Pitch Perfect. I saw part three, we've got this thing in the family. But it's just important to understand that a perfect game- oh my goodness, in wrestling.
I remember I used to watch WWF when I was a kid, there was a wrestler named Mr. Perfect. Everybody hated him. Alright? He was one of the most despised wrestlers ever, alright?
But anyways, that's neither here nor there, but just understand like perfectionism isn't going to lead you to success, alright? It's who you become in the process.
But striving towards it, understand that the process of striving towards it, that can be a noble goal of working to be perfect, but just understand it breaks the process.
Not letting perfectionism bind you because it's not perfect. So I hope that makes sense.
Also, instead of the beginning of things, what about the finishing or following through? It's not perfect, it's never done, and so we don't put the project out there, we don't put the book out there, we don't advance in our relationships because it's not perfect. Right? We're not fulfilled and happy in a relationship.
Right? And so what we're doing in the context of, for example, putting that work out there, that blog post, or that book, or some project, or whatever the case might be, and we keep on trying to refine it, and refine it, and refine it, and refine it, and never putting it out there, and letting the world experience what we've created.
Why we do that, is that we tend to look at what we've created with updated knowledge. Even if you created it yesterday or last week, and you're looking at it, you're new.
You're new every day, every moment, and looking at it with updated knowledge and experience, you're always going to find things wrong with it, and that's okay.
That's the beauty of it, but at some point you've got to stop and just put it out there. You've got to stop and let it go. You've got to stop this idea of perfectionism, that it's got to be perfect, and just- because when you actually let it go and put it out there, then you can access the traits and the qualities that are necessary to take the next thing you do to another level.
Alright, so I hope that makes sense. Again, it's the process of becoming. So here are some action steps for this one.
Level one, you don't need to be perfect, you just need to get started. Alright? You don't need to be perfect, you just need to get started.
That's the key to accomplishing what you're here to accomplish this year, alright? Clean slate, you can accomplish incredible things, you just need to get started.
Number two, go a little bit further each day. Get a little bit better each day. That's the key to ultimate success because it's compound interest.
I'd rather get 1% better than moments of like 10% better over here, 0.5% better over here, 0% better over here. 1% better each day, compound effect, exponential growth from that. Alright? That's the key.
Level two, this is with the finishing side of perfectionism, stop letting perfect get in the way of the good, and stop letting perfect get in the way of done.
Alright? You've got the whole world, so much opportunity, so much greatness within you this year, and I want to see you accomplish great things.
Stop letting perfect get in the way of the good, alright? Again, this is a great opportunity, and I hope that I helped to kick off your New Year with some added insight and inspiration, and if you got some value out of this episode, please share it out with the people you care about.
Alright? And of course you can tag me on Instagram, and Twitter, and all that good stuff. If people aren't on social media, like you've got a friend or family member, send it in an email, alright? Text them a link to the episode, share it.
Sharing really is caring, and helping folks to really change their paradigm, changing their thinking so that they can access their greatness as well.
Alright, we've got some incredible, incredible things lined up for you this year. Alright? So truly, be ready. Alright? I appreciate you immensely.
This is your year, let's get out there and execute, alright? Take care, have an amazing day, and I'll talk with you soon.
And for more after the show, make sure to head over to www.TheModelHealthShow.com. That's where you can find all of the show notes, you can find transcriptions, videos for each episode, and if you've got a comment you can leave me a comment there as well.
And please make sure to head over to iTunes and leave us a rating to let everybody know that the show is awesome, and I appreciate that so much.
And take care, I promise to keep giving you more powerful, empowering, great content to help you transform your life. Thanks for tuning in.
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Dear Shaun,
Thank you so much for being inspiring everyday.
I was feeling really down as i am stuck in between of the relationship, financial and career crises. This episode was very inspiring and you made my day.
I agree with all what you said for pleasing people. I am myself a people pleader and it is one of my weakness as people always take me for granted. I really want to get over it, please do a master class for it.
With lots of love from Pakistan.
Stay blessed, stay happy.
With lots of prayer for your, your staff and family,
Sidra Faisal