Shawn Stevenson: Welcome to The Model Health Show. This is fitness and nutrition expert, Shawn Stevenson, and I'm so grateful for you tuning in with me today. Listen, I'm dedicated to bringing the very best people in the world in their respective fields your way to help you to transform your life. A big part of our evolution as human beings is success, right? This word, like what does that even mean? I remember being in college, there was not a Success 101 class. If there was, I would have taken it, alright? We're not really taught about how to be successful whatever the endeavor might be, whether it's relationship success, financial success, health success. How do we actually achieve it? And of course there are tactics, there are secrets to all of it, but success is really a mindset, and there are certain key principles and insights that we all need to learn, and it's just really a travesty today that this isn't something that's readily available until you get connected to the person that I have for you today, alright? It's going to blow your mind. Before we get to him, and listen I'm here at his home, and we'll talk all about it, it's just one of the most incredible experiences already. I want to tell you about our sponsor today who's been a lifesaver as I've been on the road. I've been on the road, number one, Phenomenal Life Cruise with Eric Thomas. Eight days, seven nights on a cruise ship, I was trapped, alright? It was incredible, an amazing time, and we did a couple of speaking engagements, Q&A's, just hanging out, having some fun, island hopping, but wow it can really take a toll on your body, especially the food on the boat. I did the very best I could, you know how I roll, but I had my Organifi, my go-packs. So I got my green juice supplement in to make sure that I wasn't missing any of the key nutrients that my body really needs to stay optimized, right? And so those go-packs were my lifesaver. I was back home for like three days, hopped out to San Diego where I just spoke at Fitness Business Summit, Bedros' event, and we'll put his episode in the show notes. Absolute classic. Incredible event, probably the best fitness-related event I've ever been to or been a part of. But again on the road, tons of Q&A, speaking, a lot of stress, running around. Organifi, total lifesaver, alright? I highly recommend if you're not already on Organifi's green juice, pop over there and get yours today, alright? The reason that I love it is it's low temperature processed, so you're actually getting the stuff that you think you're getting from random company X multi-vitamin. 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It's www.Organifi.com/model, 20% off, head over there, check them out. And now, it's time for the iTunes review of the week. ITunes Review: Another five-star review titled, 'If you don't know, now you know,' by Vanessa Moo. "This podcast is the gold at the end of the rainbow. I look forward to each new episode. They're each so invigorating and mind-opening. I always listen when I can give my full attention and jot notes along the way. Shawn, you're so relatable and you do a phenomenal job hosting each guest and making even the most technical sciency stuff make sense. Thank you for your time and dedication. You are a superhero." Shawn Stevenson: Thank you so much for leaving me that review, I appreciate it immensely. Everybody, continue to hop over to iTunes and leave me those reviews. Please keep them coming, it keeps me on fire. Alright, and speaking of on fire, let me tell you about our guest today, Ed Mylett. Crazy synchronicities happened for me to link up with Ed, and I'm just eternally grateful. Truly one of the most empowering figures to be around. He's just- like you can't be in his space and not feel elevated, alright? So he's been in the kind of motivation sphere, mindset speaking, under the radar for a long time for folks in my lane. Like it's been like a parallel universe. He's one of those guys when you find out about him you're like, "How in the world did I not know about you my whole life?" Right? He's been killing it for years, impacting the lives of thousands upon thousands of people. Now he's got one of the biggest social media followings in this space, just like- and he's just been in it for a couple of months because he's the truth, alright? And his name is Ed Mylett, and we're here at his place in Laguna, and it's beautiful overlooking the ocean. His house is just disgusting, alright? It's disgustingly amazing, and he's an incredible human being. I'd like to welcome to The Model Health Show, Ed Mylett. What's up, my man? Ed Mylett: My pleasure, great to be here. Shawn Stevenson: Very, very happy to have you on. Ed Mylett: Thank you. Shawn Stevenson: And the first thing I want to do is just kind of dive in, I want to talk about your superhero origin story, because you really are a superhero, man. Ed Mylett: Oh, thank you. Shawn Stevenson: So what got you into this space of personal development, and you're a big guy in the financial space, but you didn't start off- like you weren't in poverty, but you also weren't like one of the rich guys. So you were in an interesting spot in the middle. Let's talk about that. Ed Mylett: Yeah, well I probably got into the personal development space out of necessity. So I think a lot of times when you find somebody who outwardly appears to be pretty self-confident, it's probably because they've had to come from such a space and having to work on it from- I was really inept. I was really an insecure guy growing up. I grew up in a family- I had a good family, right? But like most families, I come from some dysfunction, you know? I thought my family was the only dysfunctional family until I grew up and I started meeting all these other adults like, "Hey, mine too." But the dysfunction in my family was my dad was an alcoholic and had some drug issues, too. And so I think that just for a kid, that can- and my dad's sober, by the way, a long time now. He's my best friend, but when I was growing up he wasn't, and I think that just sewed into me insecurity, worry, fret, anxiety as a kid, and so I knew when I got older I was behind everybody. Other guys were more confident, other guys seemed to have their act together, they were happier than I was, right? So I sort of sought out help, that's what self-help is, right? I sought out the help, and the tools, and the strategies to really transform myself, and I've done that. And so really the personal development side was just literally out of bare necessity to function as a human being and to be happy. And so that's where that came from. Shawn Stevenson: Interesting. You know, I heard you talk about you were kind of in a dangerous spot; not being from poverty, and not being kind of rich and having a silver spoon, but in the middle there. Ed Mylett: In the middle big time. First of all, I don't know if there's any ideal upbringing to go win, right? Because you and I know people that grew up super poor that have been successful, and that grew up wealthy, too. But I kind of grew up in that space that is dangerous because it's like a slow asphyxiation, right? I grew up what I call like middle class, but probably the lower side of middle class, too. So I think there's- and I've told you this, I think there's an advantage sometimes to growing up rich because you've got connections, and you see the right behaviors modeled maybe. When you're poor, a lot of my buddies that are successful now that were poor, they knew what they didn't want. They were fighting, they learned to struggle, they grew up sooner, right? They couldn't make excuses, they had to learn to be self-resilient. The middle is difficult because good is the enemy of great, right? And so it wasn't horrible, it wasn't like there wasn't food on the table, it wasn't like I didn't get a present on my birthday, right? So you kind of start to think that's what life is. No one in my family ever talked about dreaming, or winning, or being wealthy. The same time, they weren't really running from something either. So there's like- there was no stimulus. The stimulus when you're poor is to get out of it, the stimulus when you're rich is to replicate it. There was no stimulus from where I'm from. And so probably the rarest background when you meet somebody that's successful is the middle. It's actually the rarest that you meet somebody, they're from the middle. And so a lot of your listeners come from that place, because most people are in the middle, right? And so I'm sort of I think an example of some of the things maybe you would need to do to get out of that space, to move from good to some form of greatness in your life. Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, it's comfort. That word comfort can be a killer. Ed Mylett: It's so true. Shawn Stevenson: So that's exactly why I wanted you to point that out, is because so many of us do come from that, and also we're maybe existing in it right now. Ed Mylett: So true. Shawn Stevenson: And how important is it to stretch ourselves, and to really kind of get comfortable with discomfort? Ed Mylett: You do, you need to do that. Malcolm X is a guy that I've read a lot about, and Malcolm- my favorite quote of Malcolm X's is, "That which you do not hate, you will eventually tolerate." And so there has to be this point in your life where what you want is so much greater than where you are, you're in such discomfort. In other words, the gap between what you're dreaming of, what you're destined to do, what you're capable of, you're aware of it compared to where you are, that tension between the two has a pull power to it, right? And so it's important all the time that wherever you are in life, that you're chasing that next version of you. There's this thing I'm just unbelievably passionate about that is that I have this theory that- I've told you this before but I think at the end of this life, there's this place you come to- and I'm a Christian, so I think at the end of my life, I want the Lord to go, "Hey well done, good and faithful served." It doesn't matter what your faith is, you probably are aware there's history being made, or an accounting. But I also think He's going to go, "Hey by the way, this is who you could have been." I think He introduces you to the person you were capable of becoming. I really believe that at the end of your life you're going to get introduced to the person you could have been, you were destined to be, that He made you to be. And so I'm chasing that dude. Every day, I'm chasing that dude. That's the pull power for me. Every decision I make, the things I go through in my life, whether I'm going to go to the gym, whether I'm going to make a phone call, how I'm going to eat, does it get me close to that guy? Because I think the best end of a life is "Well done" by the Lord, and your identical twins with that person. The bad end of a life would be I meet this man I could have been, and we're total strangers. I mean we're just complete opposites. I know nothing about this guy, there's no familiarity at all, and it means that I went down these easy roads, I took the comfortable road. The comfortable road will never lead you to the person you were destined to be ever in your life. And so if you don't become obsessed with chasing that person, you end up never meeting him. Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, powerful. Ed Mylett: That's big for me. Shawn Stevenson: Incredible. Ed Mylett: Yeah. Shawn Stevenson: So you were initially feeling pulled towards baseball when you were younger. Ed Mylett: True. Shawn Stevenson: How in the world did you go from baseball to the financial spectrum where you operate today? Ed Mylett: Just like your story, which we were talking about today. Everything in your life happens for you, not to you. I'm just a huge believer in that. And so my baseball dream ended, I had an injury, probably gave me a premature end to a career that would have ended anyways in hindsight, because I played with enough great players that I kind of know there was a gap in just God-given ability level. Not work ethic, but I think to be the greatest there has to be some proclivity for it and work ethic, right? And so I kind of maxed out my limited abilities. And so when I got released I ended up moving back home with my parents, I couldn't find a job, I was depressed, I spent about a year in my parents' house just broke in every way; financially, spiritually, mentally, physically. And I remember I was living in my mom and dad's house, same bedroom I grew up in, same posters on the wall, same damn teddy bear in the room. Shawn Stevenson: What poster? Tell me a poster. Ed Mylett: Poster was of- this is crazy, my poster was Jim Plunkett who was the quarterback of the Raiders. That tells you how old I am, no one in this whole video that's watching this knows who Jim Plunkett was. And I had Heather Locklear, who no one knows either, but she was a model. So those two were on my wall. Shawn Stevenson: She was on 90210 as well. Ed Mylett: She was on 90210. She was on T.J. Hooker too, the cop show, by the way. Most people don't remember that. So those were my two posters. And I remember my dad came home- my dad had just gotten sober, and my dad said to me, "Hey I met this guy at a meeting, and I got you a job. You get your ass down there tomorrow morning at 6:00 AM. Get down to this house and get a job." And I'm like, "Okay I have a college degree." You know, I'm being picky for a year watching Maury Povich reruns every day on TV, and Jerry Springer. I go down there at 6:00 AM, I walk in, I said, "Hey my name's Eddy Mylett, I'm here for the job." They're like, "What job?" I remember this vividly, right? And I'm like, "I don't know. They just told me you'd know." And they go, "Well we have no idea who you are, and we don't know what the job is." They said, "Do you know who's hiring you?" I said, "I don't remember." And they go, "Well then you need to come back." And I go to the door and I go, "Wait a minute, his name's Tim." They're like, "There's a lot of Tims." And I go, "Well I know he must be an alcoholic because he was at a meeting with my dad." They said, "Oh, drunk Tim. We know Tim." Right? And where I was, was a place called McKinley Home for Boys, it was a group home- a campus of group homes. All my boys were wards of the court. They were removed from their families either because their parents were incarcerated, killed, or were molesting them. And I ended up in cottage eight. Cottage eight, I had twelve boys, they were seven to ten years old, and I walked through that door that morning not even knowing what the job was, and it transformed my life. I mean in an instant, brother. I just saw these eyes, these little boys, and they just wanted someone to love them, and believe in them, and care about them. And I'd have this big belief that people that go through any dysfunction in their family or abuse as a kid, I think our eyes are different. We just have these different eyes, man. And so I could connect with these guys. Mine wasn't as severe as theirs, but I knew what it was like to have that kind of anxiety, and that kind of stress, and that kind of pressure put on you as a little boy, and I became like their father. I was there with them on Christmas, and Halloween, and their birthdays, and I lived with them, and it changed my world because in that instant I went from being this athlete who was ego, recognition, significance, going to get rich, it's all about me. Always when you're a good athlete - you knew this growing up - it's always accolades. All of a sudden in that instant it became about serving people, making a difference, and it became, "Oh this is what makes me happy." Shawn Stevenson: Yeah. Ed Mylett: "Oh I was actually born to serve and help people. Crazy." That never happened playing baseball. And while I worked there, two years into it, the financial business that I'm in came along. And I started in it part-time, and I was the rare young business man who approached the business world from a place of service, and giving, and not making money. Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, interesting. Ed Mylett: And ironically, the more I served people, the more I made a difference, the more I contributed, the more I was rewarded financially. I didn't do it for that reason, but that's what happened. So that's how I got into the business was actually- and again if my dad wasn't an alcoholic, he's not at that meeting, I don't get that job, and if he wasn't an alcoholic I wouldn't have connected with those boys. So all of that in hindsight happened for me, right? Had I met the financial business before that, I would have flown out of it. I'd have been about ego, making money, and when that didn't happen I'd have left. So it happened in the right sequence. Shawn Stevenson: Wow, life qualified you. We just talked about that. Ed Mylett: I love how you say that. I've never heard someone say that, it's so powerful and true. Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, you know what? Full disclosure, this is why I wanted to have you on the show to talk about this. I mean you have a couple hundred million dollar worth, right? And to come from where you came from, there were a process- it wasn't all sunshine and roses once you made this decision. Ed Mylett: Sure. Shawn Stevenson: So let's talk about the early days, right? I know some things happened, maybe some lights got cut off or something like that, like you went through stuff. Again, life qualifying you. And so now you even have a different perspective about- I mean even at the start of the show just saying how beautiful your home is. I mean this is absolutely gorgeous and just amazing. Ed Mylett: Thank you. Shawn Stevenson: But it's not about the house for you. It's something else. Ed Mylett: Well no, and like any entrepreneur, there's a lot of people out there listening to this that are starting a business, and I would say entrepreneurism is the best self-awareness program in the history of the world because you're going to learn a lot about yourself when you start a business. You're going to learn how resilient you are, how tough you are, how you deal with adversity. It's a self-improvement program with a big compensation package attached. It's going to require you to improve in order to go get what you want, right? And I believe in both those things. But like most entrepreneurs, I'd get it going, and then it would come backwards. I'd get my business growing, it would come backwards. And so I had huge financial adversities, and like embarrassing ones, like shameful ones. Like when Kristi and I just first got married, and I remember thinking, "Man, the power got turned off, our phones got turned off." She goes out to work one day, and I'm like- she goes, "My car got stolen." I'm like, "You've got to be kidding me. Now her car gets stolen. What's going on?" Right? Except it wasn't stolen, it was repo'd. Shawn Stevenson: Oh man. Ed Mylett: So that was even worse. Then about two weeks after that, the water got turned off. You could have everything turned off- I've said this before. You could have your power turned off, the lights, you could function. You get water turned off in your place, you can't bathe, you can't brush your teeth, you can't cook. Water is the worst thing, right? And so we would have to get up in the morning, newly married, total shameful as a man I couldn't provide. We're living in this apartment, we'd have to walk down the stairs freezing cold, and we would shower at our pool's outdoor shower. And I'd just protect her, and let her be covered, and just the shame of us brushing our teeth down there. And then have to go out in the world and go, "I'm going to win. We're going to change the world," right? And so I always tell people to this day it's a great- we're looking at it right now. There's this beautiful Pacific Ocean out there, it's a great blessing, and I look at it every day. Honestly I wake up and I'm like, "I cannot believe we're here sometimes." But a lot of mornings, brother, candidly- not every morning, but many mornings when I pull that shower and the water comes out, instant gratitude. Just to this day. It was so shameful and so painful that just when I see water come out of the faucet and hit me, I feel grateful. And it's just from those days of being without it. Shawn Stevenson: This is- again this is why I wanted to have you on, man. Is that there's also this groundedness, you know? You've achieved a lot, a lot of success, but I think that there are some basic principles that people look past like gratitude. Like this is actually- so let's talk about this. I wasn't planning on talking about this with you, because there's something very specific I want to get to, but where does gratitude come into play? I mean it sounds very kind of airy fairy. Ed Mylett: Yeah, it's airy fairy to everybody. Gratitude is the antidote to almost everything negative in your life. Gratitude is- love is the most powerful emotion, but gratitude is the emotion that will deliver you the most joy in your life. I'm just telling you. And so I'm constantly taking inventory of what I'm grateful for, small and big things. I'm a gratitude addict because the normal human being, and my normal proclivity, is to worry, is to stress. I was grown up because what was going on around me, I was wired to be a worrier. "Is Dad coming home? What if Mom and Dad are fighting? What's the environment going to be like? What's Dad's state going to be when he gets home?" You know? And so I grew up worrying all the time. So as I got older, the antidote to that was being grateful. And so I'm constantly trying to seek things out I'm grateful. I mean small and big things. I mean like it sounds hokey, but like I have this experience, humans have it, like sometimes just the wind just hitting you the right way is like, "Man, thank you, Lord." Right? So I'm constantly trying to find things that I'm grateful for because your mind goes to work on finding the things you want it to find, and for me I want it to find stuff I'm grateful for. And the more successful you become - that's why so many successful people are so unhappy - it's the next material thing. And what most people think is - here's what they think - "I'll be happy when." It's the most common human condition. "I will let myself feel gratitude and happiness when I find the right person in a relationship. When I get a certain amount of money. When I buy that car. When I buy that home. When I get that promotion." So they delay their happiness until- and that until never arrives, it never shows up. So I always talk about being blissfully dissatisfied. Learning to live blissfully, being happy, but dissatisfied with others. No relationship between being dissatisfied and unhappy. You can be happy and still dissatisfied at the same time. And so happiness to me is gratitude. So I'm constantly trying to find things. Like just you being here today, and getting to know you, it's like I'm grateful for this time. Your beautiful wife. What a wonderful way to spend a day, what a wonderful experience, like I'm grateful for that. And I make sure I remind myself. I interviewed you earlier today, right? I remember in the middle of the interview going, "I'm so grateful for this man. I'm just so grateful he's here." You know? And so I'm constantly seeking anything I can find that I'm grateful for because it makes me happy. Why wouldn't I do that? Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, amazing. Thank you for sharing that. Now let's talk about some of the principles, you know? Because in that situation where you know again, water being turned off, really struggling with- man, I mean I can really identify with this, you know? And how it even impacts your manhood, you know? And just the ideas that we carry. Ed Mylett: It's shameful. Shawn Stevenson: But going from that place to achieving the success that you have, what are like one or two principles, like changes in your psychology that must have taken place? Ed Mylett: Two musts, I'll give you the two huge musts for me. One was my self-confidence. I grew up not a very self-confident person, and so you have to have high self-confidence. Any world class athlete, you and I both know, their self-confidence level is through the roof. And when they go in a slump, when they're not performing well, what's going on? They've lost their confidence. They haven't lost their ability to shoot, or hit a ball, or hit a golf ball, they've lost their confidence, they've lost their swag. So where does confidence come from? Like I knew I had to become more confident. Confidence comes from this- because the disease of lack of confidence is you're obsessed with what everybody else thinks about you. What are they going to think? What are they going to think? What are they going to think? That's the symptom. The disease is you're worried about your reputation with everybody else because you don't have a good one with you. If your reputation with self is exemplary, you're not concerned about your reputation with others. So self-confidence comes from one simple thing. It comes from keeping the promises you make to yourself. That's it. If you begin to consistently keep the promises you make to you, you will begin to stack upon that self-confidence. And so I set up my life where I started to keep promises I made to me, whether that was what time I got up in the morning, what I put in my mouth to eat, when I trained and worked out. I can't control outcomes, but I can control activity. So in my business life, "I'm going to make fifteen phone calls today." I'd make my fifteen and I'd be conscious of saying, "I did what I said I was going to do. I did what I said I was going to do." And through that process over a period of time every day, every hour that went by, I kept keeping more and more promises to me, I began to trust me, my self-confidence level transformed. That was number one. Second thing was my identity. You'll never exceed in your life what you think you're worth. Everyone talks about this, but you'll never exceed your identity anytime in your life, and your identity is your self-worth, what you believe you deserve. Okay? Now self-worth and identity are like a thermostat. It sits on the wall of your life, it sets the entire temperature for your life. So you have a spiritual thermostat, a financial, a business, a physical one, a wellness one. So if that thermostat is set at let's say financially at eighty degrees, it's set at eighty degrees, no matter what you do, you've already experienced it. If you start to heat your life up, you start having abundance come into it and you're doing activities that are better but you haven't changed your identity, you will find a way to cool your life right back down to where your identity is eventually. You'll make a bad investment decision, the car will break down, it'll all seem unconscious but you will get back to eighty degrees of money, okay? The reverse is also true. You start to go broke, your car gets repo'd, the water gets turned off, you find a way to heat it back up and get it back to eighty degrees again. So the key in life is to have self-confidence and change that thermostat level of what you think you're worth. You could be in the best business model with the best opportunity, the best products, the best everything, and you will not exceed eighty degrees of identity if that's your identity in your life. Happiness has an identity, faith has an identity, and so the key thing is how you shift that identity, right? And that identity then is shifted through a couple things, but the biggest one is associations. The biggest way we change our identity, let's say you hung around a guy worth a couple hundred million dollars, if I'm 150 degree'er financially, and you're an 80 degree'er through proximity, over time I will heat you up somewhere in between the two of us. If your faith- if you struggle with your faith or your relationships, but you surround yourself with people that have great faith or great marriages, through association, yours improve. So the biggest way I changed my identity is through who I hung around. Hanging around lastly is also- I don't have to physically be around you. I can read your book, I can read a book from you on health, on sleep, and when I read that book I'm not just reading pages, I'm pretending as if I'm with you, I'm associating with you. And so a lot of my identity shifts came from books I read, and things I listened to, and people that were live in my life at the same time. That's how I changed it. Shawn Stevenson: This is blowing my mind. Listen, I didn't tell you this, but that was the specific thing when I said earlier I want to get to, I want to talk about identity because this is something that I've been pondering a lot the last couple of months. And also with myself, and understanding that as I change levels, and things I've been struggling with, you know? And so seeing this in my clinical practice, and just working with people over the years, it's not just a change in your tactics, right? You know, when we're looking at somebody, just say their goal is to lose fifty pounds Ed Mylett: Yes. Shawn Stevenson: We often don't understand what is required. We know the steps, the tactics, but we don't really understand that you're going to be a different person, right? Ed Mylett: You've got it. Shawn Stevenson: Your identity has to change because you see yourself as this person. The number one driving force of the human psyche is to stay congruent with the ideas we carry of ourselves. Ed Mylett: Congruency is huge, isn't it? And that's why in your space you'll see people short-term get well, get healthy, lose the fifty pounds. But oftentimes, if they don't change their identity, we'll come back in a year or two, those fifty pounds are back, and sometimes fifty aren't back, sixty are back because they stopped taking the steps, the tactics, and the strategies because of this identity thing going on. And what your word- and by the way I love, and I've said before myself, is to be congruent with your identity. You will do everything in the world to become congruent with your identity so you'd better put a governor on it. And any time I ever want to make a change, if I want to make a leap of anything, like I'm in this space now where you're dominating now in the podcast space. Okay, I know that I have to change my identity about that. How am I doing it? Hanging around you, hanging around Andy Frisella, right? Hanging around the people in this space that are incredible at it, because through association I can change that identity of mine. I can do all the tactics, all the strategies, all the things you teach me, but if my identity is still way down here, that's the result I'm going to produce. Shawn Stevenson: Man, this is powerful. Ed Mylett: Yeah. Shawn Stevenson: I want to talk more about this subject because I want to help people to be able to make that shift, change their identity. Ed Mylett: Sure. Shawn Stevenson: So one of the big keys that you share, which I'm so grateful for, is the power of association. I cannot stress that enough. I mean that's literally what got me from chronic illness, depression, just lost, is starting to be around mentors. For me it was virtual, you know? This was like way back in the day, around 2000-2001, and like participating in like these online summits. And I would buy the CDs, and I'd listen to them in the car, and just like really starting to reprogram my thinking. I immersed myself in that world. Ed Mylett: Yes. Shawn Stevenson: Right? Ed Mylett: Me too. Shawn Stevenson: That's one key is association. What's something else? Like if people are really needing to make a shift in that identity, what else do we need to do? Ed Mylett: Let's talk about the mentor thing quickly, and then I'll give you one more tip. Seeking a mentor out, right? So there's different levels of influence. So people would say, "I need a mentor." Right? "I need mentors, mentors." That's powerful because you do need a mentor. But think about with your children, who has the most influence over them? Okay when they go to school every day, what do you worry about most? You worry about who your children associate with, who their friends are. So teachers are like mentors, they're this distant person who sort of teaches you things, and tells you what to do, and they do sculpt our children. But let me tell you who has the most influence over them; friends. So I did read, I did listen, I did go through those strategies, but on top of that I tried to make friends, I tried to turn my mentors into friends because friend is the highest form of influence. The second we change identity it's awesome. It's an incredible amount of activity in a short period of time. So the other way we can look at identity is like a water line in the pool, right? And so if you do a short amount of activity that you've never done before, you hit a new water line, that will alter your identity somewhere in between where you were and the new line. It jumps a stage. So when I'm trying to shift identity I'm going, "Okay I've got to work on my associations, work on my identity, literally be thinking about my self-worth," but at the same time I try to do compressed activity into short windows of time. Do a tremendous amount- like a 90-Day Madman Cycle, or a challenge of something that I do that alters me. Because when you do something in a short window you've never done before, it alters or changes you. We've had that happen in the negative. Within a short window of time, if you lose a family member, or some loss happens, it changes you, doesn't it? And the same is also in a short window of time some great things happen, you're just different in that short window. So change can happen like this, it can happen in short windows by new associations and through bursts of activity in short windows of time. That's my usual formula for changing my identity. Shawn Stevenson: Oh, I love it. I love it. There are so many things I want to ask you about including- I want to talk about some routines. Like you talked about, having that massive action in that short amount of time, but that consistency is really a key to success. So we're going to talk about that right after this quick break, so sit tight, we'll be right back. Alright we're back and we're talking to the legendary Ed Mylett, and before the break I mentioned that I want to talk about habits, alright? So what do you do, Ed? Like let's talk about this. Do you have like a morning routine? Is that something that's important to you? Ed Mylett: I do. I have an audio on that too, and I'll plug in my audio. It's free, but it's on iTunes. I have a morning and an evening routine that I go through. The morning routine involves a lot about getting cold, it evolves going through a gratitude ritual, breathing, moving my body, all that's on my iTunes on my podcast, or else you can download that kind of stuff. But I do- here's the thing that I get asked all the time. "How do you stay motivated all the time?" People ask me that all the time, and the answer is I didn't, and neither did you to become successful. The separator in life is really important. People think the most inspired motivated person wins. No, not really. It's the person who can work on the days they're not inspired and motivated. It's what do you do when you're not feeling great? What do you do when it's not your best day? How do you do that? What carries you through is rituals and habits. So when you're fatigued, when you're tired, when you're under pressure, you react reflexively. And so successful people rely on habits and rituals, not just their inspiration and motivation level. Of course we're both professionals at being motivated and inspired, but that's not every day, every minute. And so what do I do? I work on the days, because my habits and rituals carry me through. And so for me, here's how I look at my life and my day. If I can control the first thirty minutes of my day and the last thirty minutes of my day, I have a whole lot better chance of the middle of my day being controlled. And so I am a freak about the first thirty minutes of every day. It's really about the first forty-five minutes, and I'm obsessive about the last forty-five minutes of every single day. That gives me some illusion in my mind a measure of control. The other thing it does, it delivers to me habits and rituals that serve me that I do every day that are consistent. It gives me comfort in stormy times. That ocean out there is raging at the top right now, right? The waves are crashing. At the bottom of that ocean it's completely calm. At the bottom of that ocean is the habitual part of the water, right? It's the part of the water that stays the most consistent, that's why it's so calm. Okay? So when you see someone out of control, their emotions are up and down all the time, this is someone who's without rituals and habits. Successful people have those. Shawn Stevenson: Interesting. Ed Mylett: They do, and so it keeps me calm, it keeps me comfortable. The other thing it does, it gives me confidence because it's something I can deliver on that I promised myself. I can control what time I get up. I can control whether I pray. I can control whether I ask my gratitude questions. I can control whether I go to the gym and work out. And when you start a day delivering on the first five or ten promises you make to yourself, that's a confident day you've begun. And when you finish the day keeping the promises you make to yourself, you go to bed and I think you rest better, as we've talked about earlier, you sleep more peacefully, and you wake up more confident that you can deliver. So that's how important habits are for me. They literally control the beginning and end of my day. Shawn Stevenson: Perfect, and of course we'll link this up. You've got an epic podcast that just came out recently and it's already just killing it. Ed Mylett: Thank you. Shawn Stevenson: So we'll put that in the show notes, but let everybody know still what's the name of your podcast? Ed Mylett: Maxout with Ed Mylett. You can get it on YouTube or any of the other platforms. Shawn Stevenson: Perfect segue right here, because I'm all about the segue. When I think about this, I think about Paul Blart. Ed Mylett: Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Shawn Stevenson: So let's talk about Maxout. Ed Mylett: Okay. Shawn Stevenson: What is this concept? Like what does this mean for you? Ed Mylett: Well maxing out means getting the most out of every day, and I'll give you the analogy. We talked earlier about meeting the person that you're destined to be, right? Well that doesn't happen at the end of your life, it happens every single day by maxing out your passion, maxing out your joy, maxing out your work, maxing out your workout, whatever it might be. And my son was a little boy, he was six years old, and we went to this carwash, I'll never forget this. I'd see the same man there every day reading a newspaper, every Saturday. And we were there and he's a nice man. And he said to me, he goes, "How old is your little boy?" And I said, "Oh Mad," that's my son's name, "he's six years old." And like most parents would say, he says, "Well enjoy the six-year-old, because when he turns seven, the six-year-old is gone forever." Which is true, we all have kids. He goes, "And when he turns eight, that seven-year-old is gone forever." And I was young and kind of cocky then, I didn't mean to be offensive, and I said to him, I said, "Sir, when did that process stop for you?" And he just stared back at me, and he goes, "I don't know." And I thought to myself I never want that process to end. In other words, the twenty-four-year-old me should never be the same when I turn twenty-five. That guy should be gone forever, and the twenty-six-year-old should be gone forever when I turn twenty-seven. But for most people, somewhere in their life in the middle there, the twenty-five-year-old is a lot like the twenty-two-year-old. The thirty-five-year-old is the same person the thirty-three-year-old was. They stop that growth, and as you know, there's a cellular regeneration in your body all the time, right? But people don't regenerate themselves. There should be a better version of you every year of your life. Just like the six to seven to eight-year-old, should be the forty to forty-two-year-old, the twenty-five to the twenty-six-year-old. So maxing out is that process, and that process happens by maxing out my workout. Everything I've got into it, everything I've got in my relationship, everything I've got in my joy. It's not cheating myself, it's not setting a low standard, because what we get in our life is our standards. Habits and rituals deliver us on whatever standard we set which is governed by our identity. And so I'm huge on setting massive standards for me. So even when you leave here when we're done the interview, I will ask myself, "Did we max out that conversation?" Meaning did I get the most out of it? Did I give it everything I've got? I'm huge on not being able to control outcome all the time. I can control my effort, so I'm obsessive about effort all the time. And so maxing out is related to your effort level in everything that you do. Shawn Stevenson: Powerful. Ed Mylett: Yeah. Shawn Stevenson: You also mentioned something there, because just if somebody's looking- like the Captain Obvious version with max out, this is related to lifting weights. Right? Ed Mylett: Sure, yes. Shawn Stevenson: So I'm curious for you, when did you get interested in fitness? You know? So after baseball, like did you immediately just keep working out like doing Kobe Bryant thing, or was it more like- Ed Mylett: It was a little bit during baseball. I'll tell you a good story. I had a mentor, I had someone who got me passionate about it. So I graduated high school 150 pounds, I'm 5'9" - 5'10", I'm not a big dude. First thing they did when I got to college, they were like, "You need to gain weight. Right? You need to gain weight." And I'd never lifted weights before, never really wanted to lift weights, and my- you know who Jon Gruden is? The coach of the Raiders? Shawn Stevenson: Of course, yeah. Ed Mylett: Okay, Coach Gruden who was Monday Night Football, now he's the coach of the Raiders, was my strength and conditioning coach my freshman year of college. Shawn Stevenson: Oh that's crazy. Ed Mylett: Isn't that crazy? So I walk in the gym, he's like, "Let's go!" Just a nutball, right? Like a maxed out nutball. And I always wanted to please coaches, I was always a coach pleaser, and so I decided I was going to stay early and leave late. So I got addicted to training in college, I liked how it made me feel about me. I liked how it was a place where effort mattered, right? Because I'm not gifted athletically. We were talking earlier before we got on the camera, you're brilliant, man. Like I don't have an incredibly high IQ, right? So I'm kind of one of these guys like I'm average in many ways, so what needed to be extraordinary about me was my effort level. And in working out, I could see results as I put in the effort quicker than I could like in business. It wasn't quite the delay, although there's a delay. So I got addicted starting in college, and I've just always sort of lifted weights since that time. Now my fitness has ebbed and flowed over time, and then what happened to me when I was thirty is I had an uncle who I look a lot like, die of a heart attack at fifty years old. I resemble him a lot. And long story short, I decided to go get my arteries checked when I was thirty, and I did the check, and the doctor comes back, and the doctor was a great influence. He knew how to get leverage on you to make change. So you do this scan, you take lunch, you come back. I come back from the scan and the guy goes, "I'm looking for Edward Mylett." He looks into the lobby, I'm the only dude in the lobby, the doctor- he knew what he was doing. And I go, "That's me." He goes, "Oh my gosh." And he goes- he's playing me, he goes, "I can't believe these arteries are in that young a body." And he goes, "Son, you need to come back here." I went- he got my attention. We sit down and instead of just going through the diagnosis, first thing he says to me, he goes, "Do you have any kids?" I said, "Yeah." I said, "I have a little boy, he's two, and my wife's pregnant with my daughter." He goes, "Do you have any interest in being at your daughter's wedding?" Imagine what that does to a dad, right? I go, "Yeah. I got a scan, right?" He goes, "Okay, just so you know, you're not going to be there. Some other man is going to walk your daughter down the aisle." Imagine how that gets you as a dad. I went, "What are you talking about?" He goes, "So you need to listen to me carefully. If you continue the path you're going, you will not be there for your daughter's wedding, you will not be there to see your son graduate high school, and some other man is going to be having breakfast with your kids someday." Swear to God, that's exactly what he said to me. I'm like- right? What's in the damn scan? You know, and so what it was is I had some blocked arteries already, and he said, "We can fix this though if you do the nutritional program I tell you, you get on the right supplementation, you start really getting serious about your fitness and training." So I was already a workout guy, but this got me serious now about nutrition. This got me serious about my health, my energy, my wellness because I had leverage. To this day when I travel, and I'm tired, and I don't want to get up in the morning to work out, I swear to you I go, "Bella's wedding." It just goes off in my head, "Bella's wedding," and I go. I have leverage, I've got a reason. Because the other thing that delivers in our life is our reasons need to be huge. Shawn Stevenson: Yes. Ed Mylett: My daughter is a huge reason. Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, talk about that, Ed. You've got to talk about that. We need something to tie it to. Ed Mylett: Yeah, well you have to have- everything in your life- like it's great to have a great identity, it's great to have all these big plans, and all that other stuff, and great habits and rituals, but if your reasons aren't massive. See that's the one thing people set all these goals, they don't link to it compelling monster reasons. Emotional- deep emotional reasons. Typically your reasons, by the way, are always going to be other people or your dreams. People are like, "I don't know what my reasons are." Yes you do. They're your big dreams or other people you're doing it for. And so in my fitness, oddly enough I do it for my daughter. I do it for the other people, I want to be here for them in their life. And so any monster goal you have, the fuel, the drive, the energy, the thing that's going to compel you to be congruent is going to get you through all this crap you're going to go through. The separator is your reasons. Shawn Stevenson: Yes. Ed Mylett: So I linked every goal- I have a podcast on that, too. A goal-setting one. Every single outcome and goal that I have that I want to do, I link to it massive emotional reasons that create a change in me that I want them. People think that people like you and I are somehow freakishly disciplined people or way different. No, I have habits, rituals, and reasons backed by self-confidence and identity. That's my formula. Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, love it. Love it. Man, there's so much I want to ask you about. I want to ask you about one more category, and I want to talk about financial fitness. Ed Mylett: Okay. Shawn Stevenson: If you can, I know this is a pretty big question, but what are one or two things that folks can do to start to- if financial health is kind of in their struggle. Because we want to see success in all areas of life, that's what I'm really dedicated to because what I grew up around and what I was taught was that you had to sacrifice one for the other, right? So I've known a lot of people who were very financially successful who struggled in their health or in their relationship. Folks with great relationships would struggle financially, right? So what are one or two things that people can do to start to become a little bit more financially fit? Ed Mylett: Wow, by the way, I'm so glad you asked that. What a wonderful question. You're the best interviewer ever. Like your questions are so good. Financially, my formula is this, and you're never going to hear this because there's all this stuff on social media now about borrow, borrow, borrow, borrow. First off, the Bible says, "Owe no man nothing." So I didn't get rich by creating debt, and I can just tell you that I don't care about what type of debt you have, but the one thing financially is you do not want to borrow money if you can minimize it against a depreciating asset. If you borrow money for something that's going to appreciate like a home or an investment property, I'm pretty cool with that, although I still think you should be careful with debt. But I see far too many people borrowing money against something that depreciates like cars that they don't need to have just to impress other people, right? Or clothes they don't need to be wearing. And so don't- on credit cards. Don't borrow money against stuff that goes down in value as much as you can. The second thing is live below your means. Any person listening to this can get financially independent. You have to pay yourself first. So believe it or not, as crazy as it sounds, when I was broke I still found a way to pay myself. Save $25, save $50, because if you can't save money when you're making a little bit of money, you are not going to save money when you make more money. You think you will, but you won't. You continue to spend it. And so there was literally a year when I started to make money - you want to get really wealthy - I made several multiple six-figures one year and we lived in a $700 a month apartment. I just saved, and saved, and saved, and saved, because my confidence in business came from my ability to acquire and save money over time, which took me awhile, but to me peace of mind is saving and cash. Cash is king. Not enough people are obsessed with saving cash. And so live below your means, don't borrow money against stuff that depreciates, and save money. And here's a biggie, start reading about money. Start to familiarize yourself. Pick up some books on finance, start to know what you're talking about. Save your money. Here's the last thing, only put your money in something, if it's $50 or $50,000, that you completely understand. If you don't understand it, set it in the bank until you understand. Because too many people are investing in stocks, mutual funds, crypto this or that. I'm not saying don't invest in those places, those are good places potentially to invest, but if you don't understand them, your money should not be in there. You're not a professional gambler. Shawn Stevenson: Yeah. Ed Mylett: You're a saver and an investor. Those are probably my biggest ones on saving money. Shawn Stevenson: That's powerful, oh my gosh! Listen, one of the things that I've done, and it's just worked out so well, is just automating it, you know? So like for my savings, and even for my son's car, which I think he might have a car by the time this comes out, he has no idea how much I've been saving for him because he's had his pre-requisites in order for him to get it, you know? Maintaining a certain GPA, him earning his own $1,000. He thinks I'm just going to like maybe triple it, but I'm going to do a lot more for him. Ed Mylett: Wonderful. Shawn Stevenson: Because I mean it's just been on automatic. I just set up an account, every single month certain money comes out and goes into that account for him. Ed Mylett: I think that's paying yourself first, by the way. I think that's paying yourself first. It's just- it's gone. It's like a payment to yourself. Right? Everybody has these auto debits for their mortgage payment, or their rent payment, their car payment, their insurance payment. How about the payment to you? Shawn Stevenson: Yes, you're absolutely right. Ed Mylett: Please do that. Please do that. The thing that scares me the most is seeing people who don't save money. It blows my mind. I rarely do it anymore, but when we go to the mall on the weekend and I'm watching people walking out of there with six, seven bags and I'm thinking, "My God, like you don't need all this stuff. Wouldn't that be cool to put that $200 a month away in savings someday for your children's college, someday for your retirement, someday to buy your dream house?" The best thing of living here, of living at the ocean, or having a jet, or all the material things I have, is I own them all. There's no mortgage on this home. There's no mortgage on my Idaho place. There's no mortgage on my jet, there's no debt on any of my cars. Now it hasn't always been that way, but the way I got there was by saving a bunch of money when all my buddies were blowing theirs on stuff to impress other people that gets dated anyways, right? And so stuff you buy that you think will impress other people is really only cool the first or second time you wear it or use it anyways, right? And so be really careful about that. I love the auto pay idea, that's paying yourself first. Shawn Stevenson: Yeah, that's powerful. These things are so simple, but how often do we do that? Ed Mylett: But that's a habit and a ritual though, right? That serves you for the big reason of getting your son the car. That's awesome. Shawn Stevenson: Ed, this has been phenomenal, and I mean I'm truly just blown away by you. Your energy is infectious, your experience, and just your willingness to share, I'm just very grateful for that, man. Ed Mylett: Oh it's my pleasure. Shawn Stevenson: Final question. Ed Mylett: Sure. Shawn Stevenson: What is the model that you're here to set with the way that you live your life personally? Ed Mylett: The model for me is that I'm about maxing out in my life, but the model for me is that I've learned from the mistakes that I've made, and I'm just - it sounds as hokey as you can be - I'm trying to get better every single day. Every decision I make, I just want to get better because you know what? I don't compete with other people, I don't compare myself to other people, this is my life, right? And so the model for me is this, and I just want to say this to everybody, there's probably a point in your life where you were given a script of who you were supposed to be whether that's your parents, or your friends, or your spouse, and we live too often in our lives some other person's script. Right? Someone else's script. And remember this, you're the lead character in the story of your life, and the person who controls that script is you and your God, and at any point you can decide to step into a new chapter, you can step in to be a whole new leading character. And too often- at the end of the movie, you know at the end of the movie there's the credits? Shawn Stevenson: Yeah. Ed Mylett: There's like leading character, leading woman, but if you watch long enough eventually you get down there it's like cab driver number two, trucker number three. They don't even have names at the end of the movie, right? Most people live their life worrying about cab driver number two, bouncer number three instead of your life is about those leading characters, that is five, or six, or eight people around you that you love. So my model is I live my own script. My model is I control that script, me and God. I can write a new chapter, I can- right now you get off this podcast, you can decide to step out into a whole new character. Maybe not dramatic, maybe you're just a little bit more confidant woman, a little stronger, a little bit more dedicated to your focus, a little bit more focused on keeping the promises you make to yourself. You just start stepping into that new place, and for me, I write new chapters every year. I'm not interested in reading the past chapters. My past chapters are either stories I've made up in my mind about how I great I was or biggest failure stories we repeat to ourselves. I'm about the new chapter right now, not even in the future, right now writing that new chapter. That's my model is I control the script and I know I control the script with God's blessing. Shawn Stevenson: Excellent. Ed, let everybody know where they can find you online, and also about your podcast. Ed Mylett: My podcast is Maxout with Ed Mylett. You can find that on iTunes, or Stitcher, Spotify, all that stuff. And online, www.EdMylett.com. And then obviously Instagram, Facebook, Twitter @EdMylett on all of those places. Shawn Stevenson: Excellent. Ed Mylett, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning into the show today. I hope you got a lot of value out of this. I'm just blown away. I'm so pumped right now, and just really feeling grateful. You know? I'm really trying to bring something that's really tangible as far as gratitude to the table, you know? Somebody who is incredibly successful, and a term like that might again seem airy fairy, I don't even like that term, but something that doesn't really matter. Like this is new age, like gratitude, attitude. No, it really is powerful, it's valuable. He said it's an antidote, right? It's an antidote for many of our struggles, and it immediately changes your state just when you become grateful. And so I want you to keep that in mind, and also one of my big takeaways, and something I didn't really go back to is the fact that he said if you want to become financially successful, to make it a study. Right? Make it a study, this isn't just going to happen on accident. Don't invest in things that you're not sure about, you know? So make it a study. If you want to become great in relationships, we need to make it a study. If this isn't your wheelhouse and something that you've grown up in, then you have to learn about it, right? So that's why you're part of this community with The Model Health Show, is you decided to make health and nutrition and fitness a study. And it can be fun, it can be engaging, it can be amazing, it can be life transforming, right? So if finances have been a struggle for you, make it a study. There are some wonderful books for financial success, right? Tony Robbins has one, who lives somewhere close to here I believe, and there's many other books out there, and I'll put a couple in the show notes, you know? Just some basic stuff, but things that you need to know about. You know, same thing with your health and fitness, and something that I really am just eternally grateful again to be able to have brought to the table with 'Sleep Smarter.' If that's been a struggle for you, make it a study, you know? You learn about it, and it's immediately going to start to integrate itself into your life, alright? So I appreciate you for making The Model Health Show part of your study, and making me a part of your life. And listen, I've got some incredible guests coming up and some incredible show topics, but none more powerful than today with Ed Mylett, so make sure to check him out. Go check out his podcast, I'm telling you it's going to be a game changer for you. Alright? I appreciate you immensely. Take care, have an amazing day, and I'll talk with you soon. And for more after the show, make sure to head over to www.TheModelHealthShow.com. That's where you can find all of the show notes, you can find transcriptions, videos for each episode, and if you've got a comment you can leave me a comment there as well. And please make sure to head over to iTunes and leave us a rating to let everybody know that the show is awesome, and I appreciate that so much. And take care, I promise to keep giving you more powerful, empowering, great content to help you transform your life. Thanks for tuning in.