Welcome to The Model Health Show. This is fitness and nutrition expert, Shawn Stevenson, and I'm so grateful for you tuning in with me today. What do we do when stress is whoopin' our ass? What do we do to bounce back, to be more resilient in the face of stress, to handle the stressors that life is constantly throwing at us?

Sometimes it can feel like we're spinning a bunch of metaphoric plates. Sometimes it can feel like we are a part of target practice, and we are itself the target. And as of now, as of this recording, we have so much data on the impact of unmanaged stress and how it can accumulate in our tissues, in our brain.

And a fascinating report that was published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that today, upwards of 80% of all physician visits are for stress-related illnesses. Stress being a major component of the reasons that are taking us in to seek professional help, from variations of chronic and acute to, of course, the psychological diseases that are rampant today.

So many of these conditions are growing precipitously, and we negate the fact that stress can be a key ingredient in the manifestation of heart disease, in the manifestation of insulin resistance, in the manifestation of Alzheimer's, in the manifestation of depression. The list goes on and on. Now, we might get the depression piece a little bit easier because it's related to the psychology of stress.

But our minds and our bodies are not two separate entities that are operating despite one another or without one another. It's one. It's all integrated together in that amazing person that you are. And unfortunately, we are not given the instruction manual on how to handle all of this stuff because truly, so much of what we're exposed to and what we're dealing with is new We've never been under these kinds of stressors before.

We've had different stressors throughout our evolution, but today more than ever, we need tools, we need insights, we need a blueprint, we need stress resets. And I'm so grateful to be able to share this powerful conversation with you today with a psychologist who is sharing a wealth of science-backed strategies to transform our relationship with stress and to help us to overcome or even reset, and reset when stress is getting its tentacles into our lives at such a deep level that it is becoming a thing that we are struggling to manage.

And so when we have those acute issues and we need a stress reset, she's got your back. But the overarching meta perspective, how can we change our relationship with stress so that we're not getting massively stressed out in the first place? And without further ado, let's get to our special guest and topic of the day.

Dr. Jenny Taitz is a clinical psychologist and an assistant clinical professor in psychiatry at the University of California, Los Angeles. Dr. Taitz completed her fellowship in psychology at Yale University School of Medicine and achieved board certifications in both cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavioral therapy.

Passionate about spreading hope and science-based practices to a wider audience, her work has been featured all over major media from The New York Times to The Wall Street Journal, the Harvard Business Review, and much, much more. Dr. Taitz is here to teach us how to transform our relationship with stress and how to utilize stress resets to soothe our mind and bodies in just minutes.

Let's dive into this conversation with the incredible Dr. Jenny Taitz.

I'm so excited to talk to you today. People are stressed out, as And we have the one and only Dr. Jenny Taitz here with us. How you doing today?

DR. JENNY TAITZ: I'm doing great. Thank you so much for having me, Shawn.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Of course, it's my pleasure.

Let's start off by talking about the impact of stress. This is something that we all obviously experience, but a lot of times we don't have a conscious, intentional relationship with stress. And so for many of us, it is impacting our bodies, it is impacting our life outcomes. So what's the impact that stress can have on our biology if we're not managing it?

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah, so Shawn, you said it well. Stress so far, like stressful is the most commonly used word people use to describe 2026 so far.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Ooh.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: So people are feeling stressed and then in terms of the impact of stress on your body, I find it really interesting that a study looking at more than 28,000 people found that the combination of stress and the belief that stress was bad actually correlated with premature mortality and dying from stress related cause, causes.

So stress itself isn't bad, but the belief that, "Oh my God, I'm stressed. What's this doing to my heart? What's it doing to my lifespan? Is it giving me cancer?" That is where the problem with stress lies. And so one of the things that I really wanna do is help people improve their mindset over stress. What if stress is the price of a meaningful life?

You can't have a rich life without some amount of stress. Most of the things that matter to us do entail stretching our bandwidth and having a lot on our plate. So it's okay to have some amount of stress, but we wanna circumvent the stress that we're causing by thinking, "This is killing me.

This is too much. I can't." Or doing the things that really stress us out more, like acting on our stress-fueled instincts that kinda hurt us and the people around us.

SHAWN STEVENSON: I love this. One of my favorite quotes from the book, and you shared this from Dr. Mark Seery, was, "A history of some lifetime adversity predicts better outcomes than a history of high adversity and a history of no adversity."

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah.

SHAWN STEVENSON: So just keeping this in mind that the adversity that we go through, the stressors that we experience, even those things that we feel like, "This might be too much for me to handle," these can actually create more resilience. It can create more meaning and purpose, and these are some of the things you direct us to.

You kinda help us to change the volume on stress in the short term and long term in the book. And this is what I really love about it, is that you give short-term solutions because sometimes we can manage stress better than we are, of course, and then oftentimes long-term if we're changing the way we're perceiving stress, as you mentioned, it can be a game changer for us.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Absolutely, yeah. I call these resets, which is in the moment, like quick Control, Alt, Delete, and also buffers. How do you just increase your coping skills in ways that are meaningful and kind of preventative medicine?

SHAWN STEVENSON: Yeah. I love this. So let's talk about this perception of stress. As you mentioned- Our perception of stress, again, this is some, "Oh, it's, like it's killing me.

It's so difficult. I can't make it through this." These kind of oftentimes unconscious beliefs about these stressors in our lives, these do in fact lead to higher blood pressure, higher levels of stress hormones poor sleep quality, and shorten our lifespan potentially as well. But simply reframing how we perceive the stress can change everything.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Totally and Shawn we're such interesting creatures. It's like we're like, "I'm so stressed. I deserve this," totally unhelpful treat, even cigarettes or, junk food. I mean, it's like we're so stressed about stress and then we go down these rabbit holes that don't serve us. It's like paying, an emotional...

It's like a high-interest credit card emotionally and also physically. But in terms of improving our stress mindset, people, your listeners and people might think, this is something I hear from patients all the time, I've thought this for a long time. These are, like, my beliefs around stress, my beliefs around emotions."

People think those are really fixed. But those are actually incredibly malleable. In looking at first-generation college students, if they're exposed to a 30-minute online training that teaches them stress is okay, most people feel stressed, you can get through stress with the right supports, and your body's stress response, even knots in your stomach, is your body filling with oxygen to support you- Yeah

pursuing your goals. If you learn to accept stress as a construct and accept stress in your body, people that are taught to do this, it's called a synergistic mindset, actually lower their cortisol and also are more likely to complete college and reach their goals. And so this isn't something like, "I've always thought this."

And we need to, in tandem, we need to work on our beliefs around stress, but also what do we make of emotions? Because if you're thinking like, "I don't feel that stressed, I just feel really anxious, I just feel really sad, I'm really mad," also to really realize that emotions are valid, helpful, can motivate behavior, and like stress, they come in waves.

They're transient.

SHAWN STEVENSON: I wanna talk about that because you just said knots as well. So you have a chapter in the book, Turning Your Knots Into Bows, and one of the things that a lot of people are trying to do when they're stressed or feeling anxiety is to, quote, "Calm down. Calm down." And there's a conflict with that approach to things.

Talk about that.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: I love that so many patients of mine tell me, I'm like... They come to me and they're like, "I've had panic attacks for 10 years, and I've tried every breathing technique." And I'm so moved by how hard they've tried, and also so sad and frustrated that people, too many people have been given the wrong advice.

Can you imagine if you've gone running and you're short of breath, and then you're told to take a slow, deep breath? It's just physiologically kinda ridiculous. And so rather than calming down, what we need to do, people find this really surprising, but the gold standard treatment for panic attacks is called interoceptive exposure.

I am not the most arrogant person, but if you've got panic attacks I got you. This is something that's so treatable. And so what is interoceptive exposure? It's let me write down what do you feel when you're super anxious or really stressed. Maybe you feel short of breath. Maybe you feel sweaty.

Maybe you feel dizzy. Maybe you feel like you're hyperventilating. Let's write those down. Let's literally give you a recipe. Let's spin you in a wheely chair for 30 second, 60 seconds. Let's help you hyperventilate. We can do that for 60 seconds together. Why don't we practice welcoming these stress Related sensations.

So when they come out, you're like, "Bring out the welcome mat. I got this." Because a lot of anxiety and a lot of stress is the combination of what our body's doing and what our mind is telling us.

And so if our body is revved up because we got a good workout in, we're like, "Cool, this is great. Success."

"That was a great great hour of my time at the gym." But when it comes to anxiety or stress, when we feel things and we're like, "Oh my gosh, it's getting worse." "I can't deal with this. Maybe I should look online. What does this mean? Is it a heart attack?" Obviously if that's, seems if you're having exact symptoms of heart disease and you struggle with cardiac challenges, that's a different scenario.

But for many people, if you fear your body's stress response, recreating those exact physical sensations before the stressor allows you in those moments to kind of think, "It's okay. Welcome." What a difference it would be to have a welcome mat for uncomfortable sensations rather than stress about stress in your body.

And the chapter called, Turning Knots Into Bows sounds so silly, but people told on the way to take a GRE exam, which is the entrance exam for graduate schools, which is pretty hard to get if you're told that knots in your stomach are actually a sign that you're doing well, that's great.

People told that actually do better and are less stressed than people that are trying to make that go away. And so I'm all about breathing exercises. Those are great, but those are more like preventative medicine. In those moments, I think to reframe some of the discomfort in a more adaptive way.

It's almost like those Chinese finger traps. The more you fight, the more you're stuck, but the more you kinda lean in, the more it lets go.

SHAWN STEVENSON: This is awesome. This is awesome. And this is just kinda speaking to, There's this kind of revolution happening right now with people choosing stress, like ice baths, for example, doing the cold plunge, or adding in time-tested breathing strategies like the breath of fire or chaotic breathing and things like that.

I actually did it this morning after I did some reading in your book, and then I did some chaotic breathing, and this is something that actually helps me to calm down. Yeah. I'll do the chaotic breathing, and then I just c fall my mind gets very quiet, and so but these are things that if somebody didn't expose me to these ideas, I just wouldn't have known.

Yeah. And I wouldn't have known how quickly I can get myself to calm down. But ironically, I'm doing something that you would think is an even bigger stressor.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Exactly. And that makes me think of a tool in the book that people love. It's an acronym called TIPP, T-I-P-P, temperature, intense exercise, paced breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation.

And my big sell is everything takes five minutes and is rooted in science. And so if you're like, "Oh my gosh, I love that idea of in that moment, I would love a Control-Alt-Delete, how do I do that? What is my Control-Alt-Delete?" This is one, and you don't have to do the whole set of four. You could pick one to stack them if you want.

But literally taking a salad bowl full of ice water, holding your breath, setting a timer for 30 seconds, taking a deep breath, feeling putting your face into the ice water activates your dive reflex. We all have this incredible mammalian dive response where a human body without oxygen submerged in cold water, your blood flow is redirected from non-essential to essential organs.

If you're wearing an Apple Watch, your heart rate would quickly come down. Good luck thinking like no one cares about me while your face is in cold water. It's really hard to be, like, in a mental spiral when you're so physically grounded, and so that's the temperature. And again, people are like, "I don't have money for an ice bath."

You don't need an ice bath. No one yes, maybe you do need an ice bath but from a mental health perspective the ice face bath is powerful sufficient. Yeah. Yes, totally. An intense exercise. If you're about to go into a really stressful situation with a loved one or a boss, taking 60 seconds, 90 seconds to do some burpees, squat jumps, pushups, whatever it is.

You don't, it doesn't mean 90 minutes at the gym. It's 90 seconds of something that will kinda change your physiology. And then paced breathing, we o- we often breathe about 18 breaths per minute, but if we could get it down to six breaths per minute by breathing in and out for five through our nose.

We could do this together.

Doing that for five minutes lowers your blood pressure, as you can imagine. And then progressive muscle relaxation. It's so nice to get a massage, but you can be your own masseuse. You could literally tense your forehead, release it. I don't even like to do this because when I start to tense I, I get stressed, but just even trying to relax, like noticing is there tension in my face.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Yeah.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Release it. Even in your jaw, shoulders, bring them down. Going through head to toe, tense and release each muscle group kinda makes you aware. And so in just literally five minutes between the cold water, the kind of energy that you get from the exercise, or attribution of "Of course I'm short of breath 'cause I did some squat jumps."

Yeah. And then slow breathing and a little self-guided relaxation. You could change this moment and change someone else's moment. 'Cause a lot of times our stress is so contagious.

SHAWN STEVENSON: That part too, that was another big revelation that you pointed out in the book, is that, you doing these practices yourself and being able to have these stress resets and just managing yourself better, it absolutely influences the people around you.

Especially if you're going from somebody who might have had a temperament to... Because sometimes people don't even know the difference if they've just been exposed to you in a certain way. But if you've been more of like a stress ball yourself, and then suddenly you start to have these practices and your stress thermostat changes, it helps to calm the other people around you as well.

It's so powerful. We were talking about this before we got going about, as of this recording, we've got the NBA championship going on. And the Knicks and the Spurs and it's New York City is crazy right now. They're saying if they win, they're going to tear down the Statue of Liberty and carry it across the city, put Jalen Brunson's face on it.

They're saying the Statue of Liberty's gonna get pregnant. They're saying it's just, it's crazy. It's gonna go crazy. Cats and dogs are gonna start getting together. But with that being said, we all have these very powerful deeply embedded in our genes to connect and to mirror each other, right?

We have these recently discovered mirror neurons, but then we have the entire social brain that's kind of been diagnosed or pointed out. And with this being said, we deeply influence each other, and we hear these things in personal development you're the five people that you...

You know all this stuff. Yeah. But truly, we cannot help but be influenced by the people around us, and so this is encouraging me to encourage myself and others to be more of a thermostat rather than a thermometer.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: I love that.

SHAWN STEVENSON: And you can set the tone in the room and the energy and bring it to it rather than just kinda be a, at the mercy of what's going on around you.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Love that. There's research coming out of University of San Diego, University of California San Diego, where managers that have good mindsets around stress that stress is okay, emotions are transient, you don't need to worry if you feel really anxious, it will come down, their whole team members are more able to regulate their emotions.

And so our beliefs around emotions are contagious. Our stress response is contagious. And we know this. If you're super stressed and there's a calm person, that's automatically regulating. But and I've been told, I don't know what it's called, there's a technical name for it, that pilots are trained during turbulence to speak in a calm voice for this reason.

Imagine if you were on a plane and there's tons of turbulence and they sound really panic-ridden. That's not great for the energy of the plane. And so

SHAWN STEVENSON:  Keep it to yourself. Yeah.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: No, so they literally are trained. There's a specific name for it. Yeah. It's not coming to me, but...

SHAWN STEVENSON: Wow. Yeah, that's great.

I wanna circle back really quickly to calm down and this kinda command we'll try to get ourselves to calm down and turning knots into bows. There's another perspective to take, which is instead of calm down, get excited.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah. So research by Alison Wood Brooks, who's at Harvard finds that when people are told to calm down, let's say before singing karaoke, which can be stressful for some people that are more socially anxious or less adept at singing being told to calm down doesn't work as well as being told, "Get excited," because it's a similar physiological response how you feel when you're excited versus anxious, but the interpretation, the appraisal is more positive.

So can we make it more positive? A lot of people tell me when they start dating, "I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous." Actually, you're actually really excited. This is you're nervous because you care, because you finally met someone that you feel a chemistry with. We could call that excitement. Or if you're going for a job interviewing, it really looks like the perfect fit, and it would be a dream next move, we can call that excitement versus "I'm so anxious.

I'm so anxious." Yeah. I mean, I think to reframe it, these are the things that matter to us. And the thing about excitement is it allows for the physiology. Yes. It's like a good workout versus the I need to somehow... And if you're too calm and one of the reasons for writing this book was seeing so many patients and so many people that I care about over-lean on benzodiazepines, medications like Xanax, Klonopin.

This was like a big subplot in the last White Lotus season. But this idea that oh my gosh, I'm too revved up, I need to take a pill. When you take a medication like that's heavily sedating in high-stakes moments, it's like, how can you win the the next game if you're, ... if you're, like, on a medication that makes you so sleepy?

And we need to win in our lives, and so we need to kind of- Wow ... normalize. Let's get, let's accept the energy, but let's channel it in a healthy direction.

SHAWN STEVENSON: One of the most important nutrients for human health, this should be of no surprise, it should be written in the sky. It's vitamin C. It has so many benefits from supporting our immune system function to supporting our sleep quality and even supporting our mental health.

Vitamin C is believed to be a bonafide stress buster. It reduced stress by supporting the adrenal glands and allows a person to bounce back more quickly when under stress. In a randomized double-blind placebo-controlled trial published in the journal Psychopharmacology, looking at the stress of public speaking and other stressors, scientists found that those who received vitamin C supplements experienced less stage fright, maintained more balanced blood pressure, and had a faster recovery of their cortisol levels.

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So again, you've got nothing to lose but better health to gain by utilizing Paleovalley's Essential C Complex. Head over to paleovalley.com/model right now for 15% off. That's P-A-L-E-O-V-A-L-L-E-Y.com/model for 15% off storewide. And now, back to the show. Yeah, thank you for this. This is, of course, we've talked about this over the years, and, what's...

there's obviously pros and cons and perspective with all of it, but we wanna have treatments like that when they're necessary. But the way that things are kinda constructed now is that, just a hyper-medicalization of emotions without giving education around our emotions and what they are, what they're doing, and so many people are coming in just feeling like a victim and just looking for a solution.

And so a physician wants to help to provide relief, and the person wants relief, so why not? The problem is the addictive quality, obviously, and the problem is not getting to the root cause. And so we kinda get in this vicious circle, and this is what I... Another reason why I love this is that we are so powerful.

One- another quote from your book that I love, this was from Dr. David Jobes, is that, "People are really good at getting better if you give them the right tools." I love that so much.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: And I just wanna say that David Jobes is a pioneer in suicide prevention, and that is his mantra. Even if you are suffering so much that it feels like your life isn't worth living, if you give them the right tools to get them through the night, they can build a rich life.

And I, and I just wanna come back to what I had said I am for psychiatric medications, but in certain situations, but benzodiazepines are a specific category. Prolonged use leads to cognitive decline, issues like dimension, so the, that's something that's a little trickier, and kind of the mindset is like, "I don't wanna feel my anxious.

Let me get out of it." But maybe people in crisis moments might need those. But generally speaking, some of these tools can work just as well if you're able to access them, and this is why I wrote this book because people might think "Therapy's really expensive. It takes a lot of time. I don't have the time or the money.

Give me something fast that works." And you don't need to take something. You could do something. You could learn something. And again, people are good with, at getting better with the right tools.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Let's talk about some of these tools.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yes.

SHAWN STEVENSON: All right. So you have a couple of categories of the stress resets.

So you have stress resets for intense times this is on-the-spot treatment.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah

SHAWN STEVENSON: And then you have stress resets for building resilience as well. And so let's focus in on, I need some help right now, and you broke this down into three different categories as well. We have stress resets that are targeted towards the mind, so the mind resets.

So let's talk about a couple of these.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah, and Shawn before we get there, just a way to frame this if you're thinking mind, body, behavior, you just think about a recent time that something was, like, a little stressful. People unfortunately tend to make things a lot worse when things are a little stressful.

We tend to take something small, make it really bad. And someone was just telling me they found out that a friend of theirs, a good friend, had a party and they weren't invited. And so they automatically go to, "No one likes me. No one's ever liked me. No one will ever like me. I will never be part of a group.

I work so hard and no one cares." And then they feel really sad, heavy, they're totally procrastinating on their work, isolating, not picking up the phone when it's ringing or text messages are coming in. So that's what we do. We take something upsetting, and then we make it so much worse. What ended up happening, the person's other friend planned the party and did a pretty poor job of going through a thorough guest list and didn't know her, and so it was a totally innocent mistake, and this person apologized.

Yeah. But it's like we do this. It's something like someone calls you out of the blue, and you're like, "Oh, no, what happened?" And it's 'cause someone just wants to say, "Hey," "How are you?" And so we need to kind of intervene. We create this stress cycle of, thinking the worst, tensing up, acting in stress-fueled ways, and so I wanna interrupt at each point in the cycle and also exponentially improve how you cope along the way because if you think more flexibly, you're not gonna be doing the hard stuff.

And I tell a silly story in my book, which I just retold in my TED Talk, but just the smallest things, just to double down on this point. One morning my husband was, like, pouring a bottle of milk for my toddler at the time. He's now seven. But he's just literally pouring a gallon of milk, spills some milk.

He gets really into cleaning. He's cleaning aggressively. He's in a rush. He's cleaning like he's on the floor of the Knicks game. And he's, he ends up cutting his hand on the kick plate of, in our, of our fridge. He's thinking "How could this happen?" "I'm in a rush," "What the hell?"

And then he is so tense. We don't have any bandages in our house. He ends up going to the drugstore. You cannot make this up. He literally got into a fender bender on the way home. That is what we're all doing. And the poor Uber driver. That is, that is our stress is contagious. This is what turned into milk is a fender bender, and it's...

we all do this in different ways, where someone hurts us, and then we hurt them back, and then it's such a big, such a big thing, and so we need to intervene. And so a mind reset is a quick way. What can that person do in the moment when they weren't invited to the party, or my partner do in that moment when he's "My life is unfair."

It's "Your life is fair." Like yeah "your life is pretty good." What can we do? And so mind resets are things you can do in those moments. Awesome. You want me to share some?

SHAWN STEVENSON: Of course, yeah. So if you got one

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah. So a couple mind resets. I try to give people a full buffet.

Different things work for different times for different people. One mind reset that I like is even noticing your state of mind. Are you in emotion mind? Are you in reasonable mind? We all metaphorically and somewhat literally have different sTaitz of mind, where time, there are certain times that we're governed by emotion.

Automatically, when we're rejected, we are in emotion mind. Probably first thing in the morning, if you haven't eaten maybe you're in emotion mind. And so to even just create this own internal spam filter, "I'm in emotion mind." Let's not get into the weeds of what I'm thinking. Let's cut it before we get too deep in the torture that our mind can easily create.

Thank you, emotion mind. And so even just calling out emotion mind. I think also anchoring, like taking a quick moment to ground yourself, feel your feet on the floor. What am I thinking? What am I feeling? What am I about to start doing? Because if you're going five miles an hour, a lot easier to do some damage control than if you're going 100 miles an hour, and we tend to go pretty fast in stress-fueled moments.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Can we stay here for just a moment? Yeah, please. Because you're talking about thinking about our thinking.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah.

SHAWN STEVENSON: And I know from just life experience that there was a time where I was my thoughts. I was just so attached to them that the thinking was just happening, and I was just a part of it. And then for me, it was meditation where I was able to start to witness the thoughts, and then I would start to be able to choose the thoughts or to conversate or associate with the thoughts in a different way.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Right? And so for many of us, we're in that same kind of loop where our thoughts are happening and we are at the mercy of these thoughts. We are the thoughts.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah.

SHAWN STEVENSON: And so you're talking about thinking about our thinking, anchoring ourselves in and starting to ask simple questions.

DR. JENNY TAITZ:  Change our relationship with our thoughts.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Yeah, just what am I thinking right now? Yeah. So self-assessment and kinda self-awareness.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah. When we were talking earlier about where we are from and background, and I mentioned that I lived in New York for a number of years, I have this vivid recollection.

I went to grad school in the Bronx at Einstein, and literally day one, I'm like all excited. I just graduated college. I'm like starting my doctoral program. The dean of students says this really inspiring thing, which is like, "20% of you will not make it till second year, to second year." There's a 20% fail rate for first year or whatever.

People don't make it. I'm like, "Oh my God, what am I gonna do next year?" "What am I gonna do next year?" And then the first series of exams "Oh my gosh, I failed." Oh, and at a certain point it's "Thank you, mind." This is just "This is what my mind does 'cause I care."

And so it's so different to have a playful, humorous relationship. Can I see that as like Susie from Curb Your Enthusiasm coming to tap me on the shoulder in an annoying voice, rather than taking that so seriously of "Shoot what are the jobs for someone that has half a year of psychology training?"

It's so liberating to know yourself and know that the 6,000 thoughts a day that you have are not all factual or helpful.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Yeah. Wow. Oh, it's so crazy that you said Curb Your Enthusiasm, because when we were talking about the Knicks earlier, I thought about Larry David... and Seinfeld, who were on courtside.

We're connected. We're connected right here. So I wanna ask you about another one of these, which again, the ability to self-assess and just to think about your thinking, just to slow down, as you mentioned, is so powerful. But again and it could just take a minute, just a minute to do that, and instead of catastrophizing and making things worse and worse and worse.

Right. But also, I mean, again, you have so many tools in here, and I think what's gonna happen at, when people read this is something's gonna jump out "Ah, that's, that seems like it's for me. I wanna try that." And there's some that are interesting that I never thought about before that I've done just low-key and I've never talked about before. One of them is to for a stress reset, is to sing your thoughts.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah, so this is getting at the same idea of cognitive diffusion. It sounds a little silly. When you take your thoughts from like right here to kind of get some working distance and play with them, you change your relationship with them.

They go from like scary and stressful to humorous and playful. And all of this, I should just say, is getting at this thing, which is one of the biggest causes of stress. One of the key causes of chronic stress is actually not having a stressful life, which unfortunately a lot of people have, but it's rumination, getting stuck in your thoughts, overthinking, something bad happened, you're thinking about it for hours later, days later, weeks later, constantly replaying, talking about it.

So this interrupts rumination. So singing your thoughts, if you have a constant thought that bothers you, "I'm not good enough. People don't care about me." What if you sing that thought? What if you sing I'm a loser to the tune of Do You Believe in Magic? I'm a loser is not a helpful thought. If you could quickly notice that thought, sing, I'm a loser, it kind of loses its edge.

Or I learned this from a client changing your whole relationship with thoughts itself. What are thoughts? Thoughts can't hurt me to the tune of Haddaway's What is Love? Baby, don't hurt me.

What are thoughts? Yeah. Thoughts can't hurt me.

SHAWN STEVENSON: I love that. I, there's multiple

DR. JENNY TAITZ: What's what are your

SHAWN STEVENSON: I mean, I'll just

thought songs? If there's something I... This is one of the things that my family does. We make up these jingles a lot. Especially me and my wife, let me say that, and they're so sticky. We'll make these little jingles. They usually happen at night, like, when it's time for bed and somebody'll start saying something, and I can't recall any of them No

because... Anyways, but it'll be like, for me, and even if I'm by myself and something maybe is going wrong or I made a mistake on something, I'll just like you know, stop trying to be mad at me 'cause I can't fix it. Yeah no. Da-da-da. I don't know. I just start making up stuff and kinda talking to myself or rapping to myself or singing to myself that this silly thing just, let me think about something.

I'm very big on efficiency.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah.

SHAWN STEVENSON: And so even if I take an extra trip in the kitchen, I'm just like, "Bro, you blew it." Come on. We're trying to get this stuff done. Yeah. And I could... If I wasn't as healthy as I am Yeah ... I could see myself having a little bit of OCD Yeah ... or whatever. But just having a little more space as well, and so being kinder to myself.

And kind of what I'm doing when I'm singing these songs, I'm kind of making fun of the silliness in me getting upset

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah ...

SHAWN STEVENSON: about something that is usually not worth it.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah. And we could do this with ourselves. Obviously, it's so helpful and it's so liberating, and we could also do it with other people.

My son, one of my sons has this thing where he's "If you don't give me Starbucks, I'm not going to school tomorrow." Ugh. And just to laugh at it and not even respond to it you could easily go down a whole rabbit hole of "You have to go to school. What are you saying?

Don't threaten me." This isn't, you I'm the mom, you're the kid. But what if you just create a rap of I'm not going to school, and it becomes a joke?

SHAWN STEVENSON: Mm-hmm.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: And obviously you could have a longer conversation about if you want Starbucks, you could earn it but in those moments where you. That's another good song too.

Yeah. Yeah. But at the moment, it's so many people get stressed out by other people's stress. If you could diffuse their stress it, again, creates this positive ripple effect.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Amazing. Let me ask you about, and you mention this too, this is one you talk about, is catch yourself catastrophizing.

And this is one, again, I highly recommend people checking out that portion because we are all susceptible to that one. And one of the things that I, was a continued thread through the book was, oh, my God, just things even can be difficult, they can be, quote, bad, but we don't have to make it worse, and some of us are very gifted at making things worse when we don't have to. So I just wanna mention that point, and definitely check out that section. But another one, and it, you had this great little wheel with it, is to name that emotion because I think sometimes we can get caught up in emotions and just not even know what it is.

And so just being able to slow down, check out that wheel of fortune, we name that emotion so we can better relate to it.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah. It's like I, it's like you automatically enter reasonable mind instead of emotion mind when you name your emotion. It's like when you kinda categorize it, you can get some working distance from it rather than being steeped in the deep end of the pool.

Yeah, name it to tame it. And it sounds like Yeah ... oh, it's so simple, but that actually activates the parts of your brain that are essential for regulating emotions.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Amazing. Name it to tame it. So these are mind resets. Then you have body resets as well. And I think again, we can enter into a reset through multiple

There are many paths to the goal.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah.

SHAWN STEVENSON: And we're going to influence the whole system, no matter which route we're choosing. So what are some of these body resets? Let's talk about that

DR. JENNY TAITZ: So body resets are anything to change your body.

SHAWN STEVENSON: And this would be like the tips that  we talked about.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Tip totally is a body reset.

Even half smiling. You're sitting in traffic, your air conditioning's not working well. It's so tempting to start to make faces that don't help you and that make you maybe more impatient and frustrated and prone to rumination. But if you can ever so slightly relax your face into a quarter of a smile, like a Buddha smile or a Mona Lisa kind of smile, that automatically kind of primes you to be in a more accepting state mentally and physically.

It's hard to imagine having that face with this in your shoulders. And so just, yeah, taking a moment to, you're really stressed, half smile. Even in a conversation with someone, someone's really stressed coming at you, can you respond with a half smile? It will probably make you more equipped to respond better.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Smiles are contagious too.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah.

SHAWN STEVENSON: But what is it about a smile?

DR. JENNY TAITZ: So there's something about facial feedback. And if you can subtly relax your face, that kind of quiets your mind, makes you more primed to accept whatever is. There's some studies, I'm not prescribing this, but there's some studies that people who get Botox injection are it improves their mood because a part of our experience of sadness and anger has to do with making those angry faces and sad faces.

And so even just learning to become your own Botox administrator with your, easing your face. There's that piece.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Yeah. Then on the other side though, with, kind of the addiction with Botox and fillers- Yeah ... it can distort

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah. I'm not basically yeah, my whole thing is I could give you what you want at no cost with no side effects.

Yeah, I'm not prescribing Botox. And I just want to be clear, if you are upset with someone because they legitimately hurt you, that is not a time for half smiling. Your face is a powerful form of communication more powerful than words. But If you're sitting in traffic and the cars aren't moving Yeah

or you're sitting at your desk and you're struggling to complete something, relaxing your face could be like an inroad towards continuing to be able to sustain that goal in a way that's a little bit more compassionate and effective.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Wow, that's so powerful. Over time, even babies, obviously babies smile as well Yeah

when they're happy. This is some very what fires together, wires together Yeah ... as well, like how we've been trained, our mind and body. And so that subtle smile starts to activate different nerve pathways. Yeah. So we're literally changing potentially I feel safe ... like the neurochemistry Yeah what our hormones are doing

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah

SHAWN STEVENSON: just by taking control of our facial expression. Yeah. That's so interesting.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: And people like you would probably see this more than I do, or maybe we both see it, but, when I'm exercising, if I'm doing weights and I'm intentionally half smiling, the person that I work with is like, "Oh my gosh, it's not hard enough."

I'm like, "No, it is. It's hard," ... but I think it's easier with a smile. Yeah. I don't know why we have this mindset that like if we're doing something hard, we really have to fight it. It's no, why don't... I'm so grateful that like my body's able to do this, and I have this moment to do this, and the music's nice, and I got stronger Yeah

from two months ago. And like, why not? Why do we need to be so tense? And if we think about scrolling on our phone, maybe we're like not half smiling, but if we can face our life with more of a half smile, that opens up a lot of space for gratitude and connection and acceptance.

SHAWN STEVENSON: What a great place to train your your smile Yeah

and your disposition, in the gym. Yeah. Because there's certain exercises that, I even call them like ugly face exercises. Like lateral raises for some reason, just like you tense up. But you're also training your body, and there's a sense of aggression there too, which again, there's a place for that.

But also, we can kind of encode our bodies, we're encoding ourselves even with the music that we're listening to, to replicate or kinda automate certain programs. And so this is a stressful environment, and there was some research done at Harvard looking at strength training and how this helps to build resilience.

Because you are challenging yourself in a controlled environment- Mm-hmm ... and that will bleed over into your day-to-day life.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah.

SHAWN STEVENSON: So what if we're training like our body, our mind as well

DR. JENNY TAITZ:  And your mindset that through pain, like we are more able to do things. We have more flexibility and ability.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Come on.

This is awesome. So you're just providing, again, just something that listeners and people who are watching might already be doing. You might already be doing And try

DR. JENNY TAITZ: this. Don't just listen. Like right now, can you try a half smile? The next time your mind sends you a really annoying spam thought or call

See that, sing it. Don't... Yeah, try these things.

SHAWN STEVENSON: That reminds me of something else you said in the book. You said frequent flyer thoughts.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah.

SHAWN STEVENSON: What is that?

DR. JENNY TAITZ: No, I think we all have certain thoughts that come up over and over again. Maybe they're tied to core beliefs, the ways we fundamentally see ourselves.

I'm not good enough. I'm an imposter You know? I'm not worthy. Notice those, like rather than every time they come really get sucked in. Just call them out. See them act differently than what they want you to do.

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to take advantage right now. Head over there, check them out. Now back to the show. Yeah, I love that. This reminds me of something that within that same context of a frequent flyer thought, it's often rooted in obviously our id-identity, how we see ourselves, and the power of... There's a process the brain just automatically does called instinctive elaboration, and so it's really based on the questions that we're chronically posing ourselves.

So what is that frequent flyer question we're asking?

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah.

SHAWN STEVENSON: So when I was like struggling with my health back in the day, it was why me?

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Why is this happening to me? Why won't somebody help me? And reframing that too, how can I feel better?

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Or how can I- So beautiful ... feel more energetic today?

Yeah. Or even reframing, even a question like why me could be, based on my perception, something empowering.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Why me at that time was I'm by myself, my life conditions. I've been through all these terrible things in my life. But today, if I was to pose myself that question, why me, it's because I am strong enough-

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah

SHAWN STEVENSON: to overcome this. And not only that, I'm gonna be a bigger blessing to the world because I'm gonna have gifts and insights to share-

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah ...

SHAWN STEVENSON: Based on what happened, right? So thinking about your thinking- Yeah ... and what is your dominant question. What is a question that you're chronically asking yourself?

And jumping in and grabbing the steering wheel on that- Yeah ... and maybe start to reprogram that, that question.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah. I talk about this in the book. If you tend to ruminate, instead of why, switch into how thoughts. Why did this happen to me? How can I make today better than yesterday? Yeah. How can I do this the way that I would want to lead by example or

SHAWN STEVENSON: So we have the mind resets, body resets, which is really covered very strongly with the tip drill.

And I wanna move on to behavior resets when we need them. And one of them is, and this is, again, this, don't miss with the simplicity. Take a walk outside.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah, so much happens. I mean, literally, that affects longevity, blood sugar. I mean, you know all the things. I mean, even just being outside is a perspective shifter.

You need to be smart. I mean, you need to, like, when you go for the walk, don't be looking at your phone and replaying the frustrating thing that happened earlier. Really be on the walk. But doing something so simple expands your viewpoint, maybe gives you an opportunity to feel grateful, changes your...

You literally, you change... there's so much research about just walks and longevity and health, and I just even like the stance of taking one, putting one foot in front of the other is so empowering. And one of my favorite tools in the book is opposite action. Do the thing that's opposite. If you feel stuck instead of doomscrolling or doing something passive that you won't feel good about later one foot in front of the other.

Let's one opposite action. I interviewed for the book a someone I met once on vacation. I met this guy, I was like, "You're so cool. Can I have your number? And I'm gonna call you some time for, to interview for a book at some point." And he's " I'm pretty private, but I guess you could" "... you could call me, and I'll see if I want to."

So this guy was crazy. He was actually shot in the face. Yeah. And he went back to work. He was a police officer, and he was offered, full retirement, all his benefits, and he decided to go back to work. And I was like, "How did you go from the hospital to going back?" And he said he, there was, like, a 5K that he did every year since he was, like, 13, 15 years old.

And he was like, "I just kept thinking, I am going to do whatever it takes to get back to that 5K." And even if that, my PT exercises, my... And so just doing something, like one foot in front of the other, can seem like a small thing but paves the way to doing something that most people can't do.

SHAWN STEVENSON: That's amazing. It's symbolic, one foot in front of the other. Like a simple walk. 

DR. JENNY TAITZ: And seeing more than, yeah, and seeing more and things happen, right? You see a cute puppy. You know you bump into someone Aw ... you haven't talked to. Yeah

SHAWN STEVENSON: I love this. Okay, so just again, and everybody's experienced this, simply getting out of your environment, wherever you were possibly ruminating or, going through a struggle moment, going outside and just changing that environment, and also it tends to bring you a little bit more to the present, if you're present, like you said, not walking and staring at our phone or whatever the case might be.

And these, also these natural inputs. Humans today, as of the latest data, the average American spends 90% of their time indoors Yeah ... over the course of a year. But some, depending on where you live, that could be upwards of 99%. Yeah. Not to mention your time in vehicles. We need these natural inputs. That's the only time, really, we're getting exposure to natural light inputs.

Even if it's coming through a window, of course, like Yeah ... it's filtered, the UVA, UVB, that the content of those rays from what allows life on the planet, most of us are never really getting any Yeah ... consistent inputs from that. The fresh air, which air quality indoors is five to upwards of 100 times, worse.

And so we're getting all these inputs, yes, but simply it's really a state change, just immediately. 'Cause your brain knows "I'm literally changing locations." And I remember this incredible study some researchers did at Stanford, and looking at creativity and problem-solving. And so folks that were facing a task, and what we tend to do is we keep hitting our head against the wall- Yeah

trying to figure something out. "This is, this one way to do it. I gotta figure out this one way." And simply going for a walk, 15- Yeah ... 20-minute walk led to a 60%- More creative ... increase in creativity Yeah ... and something specific called divergent thinking.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Love that

SHAWN STEVENSON: . So thinking outside the box- Yeah ... and creative ways to solve this thing that you were just looking for this one solution for.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah, and coming back to the mindset also, I love that. There's also something about you seeing yourself as "I take good care of myself. I choose real self-care and self-compassion rather than staying miserable." I know things are really hard, but if you can be part of pivoting towards what will actually help, that's a really powerful shift.

SHAWN STEVENSON: This is great. All right. Let's go to Be Your Own DJ and Get Weightless.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: So this is, seems a little silly, but there is a song called Weightless that was designed with sound therapists that is so sedating. You're not supposed to listen to it while you're driving. So if you have insomnia or if you have a loved one with insomnia, this is great.

And so I was really, one of the inspirations for this book, like I mentioned, was seeing so many people struggle with leaning on things outside themselves, like medications that can have serious side effects down the line, especially if they're used over time. And I was struck by a study at Penn that found that people that were about to go into surgery, half of the people, it was a study, half the people got like a benzodiazepine medication, half the people listened to this song, and literally the song had almost the same anti-anxiety properties as the medication.

And so we think "This is so stressful, I need something big," but literally songs can be soothing, they're side effect free. And so we think, again, like this song is just one example, but we think things are really hard. There's so much that's challenging. I need something big. But actually small things, it's like little wheels on a suitcase, like small solutions that are inexpensive and accessible can be game changers.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Wow. We gotta put that in the show notes. It's called Weightless.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Weightless by Marconi Union, and there's like a long version if you want a like nine-hour version. There's a f- you could listen to a shorter version. There's all this stuff about it. It doesn't have lyrics. The song is a little unpredictable, so your mind's not trying to figure out what's next.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Yeah. This is it was, unfortunately, it's just now kind of emerging as far as medicine but it's been something humans have utilized for thousands of years, and really looking at sound as medicine. And of course, there are places where it's used in medicine today, like ultrasounds, for example. Yeah.

But when we are experiencing that, whatever this particular song or any kind of auditory input, this is changing our brain chemistry instantaneously. Yeah. Right? And so we're creating, ... it's a frequency, and we're literally, our cells are all, our trillions of cells can't help but be impacted.

It's such a powerful thing if you think about it, and we don't use this to our advantage. We're mostly, again, at the mercy of what's going on in the world around us. Yeah. Because we have an external sounds, but we also have our internal sounds as well and our internal voice. This is why even, of course, we know that humming, right, and the sound of humming can help to be relaxing or change a state.

But even if you think about humming, if you're just sitting quietly and you're thinking about yourself humming, you're getting a lot of that same neurochemistry, and it's so powerful. So I love this, having this asset that we can tune into. But this leads me to this other one, which this could be a part of maybe a toolkit that you have ready for yourself.

And in another behavior reset, you talk about building your own hope kit.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah, so building your own hope kit is literally collecting objects that mean something to you or playlists that are powerful. A lot of times when we're down, we wanna listen to music that's mood congruent, that's similar. It's like a you're watching a sad movie, there's a sad soundtrack going on with it.

We don't wanna do that in our lives. If we wanna feel better, we need to change the input. And so having a hope kit, a few things, whether cards people left you, songs that uplift you actions you could do. Go count how many cute babies you see on your way to the park. Doing something to actually fill yourself with hope actually creates hope in, even in terminal cancer patients or people that feel suicidal.

Looking at mementos that actually remind you of past times creates real feelings of hope and positivity. I have one. It includes pictures of my grandparents holding me as a baby. Actually, photographs are powerful pain relievers, like looking at pictures of loved ones. I like music. I love Drake, like listening to some Drake.

My grandparents holding me as a baby. My marathon medal. I ran the marathon postpartum, and that's like a sign to me, like I can do hard things. I can do anything. Put your mind to it. Doing ... Yeah, 'cause in those moments, we just are so tunnel-visioned. Emotions off emotions. We get stuck in the same emotional pattern, but if we can have a perspective shifter, something that's kinda like a hug even if there's no one around, it can be a real nice dose of...

What would be in your hope kit?

SHAWN STEVENSON: Wow. I immediately thought about this picture of my grandmother hugging me on my wedding day Oh man, that gets me. That really gets me. And fortunately I get to see that every day. Sometimes I, I don't pay attention to it, but it's sitting in my office. Definitely, and I'm a vibe guy, so definitely I, and my son will tell you I've got absurd amount of playlists for different moods. You know what I mean? And so I do access the power of music 

and I also have this practice. I have a journal, because what this is really about and what I'm hearing from you is that, all of us forget sometimes, and we've, everything that we've been through, we have made it. We're still here. And so I have this journal where I've kinda tracked a lot of the magical moments in my life, and just a reminder of how powerful I am to affect change and to experience life's magic. Because, again, when you get caught up in the stuff and the stress, you can forget.

Yeah. And so many of the greats, the greatest of the greats of all time, they're just really good at remembering.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah.

SHAWN STEVENSON: They're really good at remembering, and this is a capacity that we all have that we can grow and build. So thank you for asking me that.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah, no, I love that. My friend has his name is Matthew Dicks.

He has a TEDx Talk about homework for life, about literally having a spreadsheet. One column of the date. One column is what happened, and it really helps you remember. Oh, my gosh this cool thing happened five years ago. I probably would've forgotten, or this person said this nice thing to me that would never have stuck.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Yeah. So having, again, this is stress reset behavior. We can go to our own personal hope kit.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yeah.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Take advantage of that, and again, these are all, what we've covered thus far, these are stress resets for intense times.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Yes.

SHAWN STEVENSON: And you have many more. 

DR. JENNY TAITZ: All evidence-based.

SHAWN STEVENSON: And they're all evidence-based, of course.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: And minutes, they only take minutes of your time.

SHAWN STEVENSON: But for more, you also have stress resets for building resilience, and so this is a zooming out, bigger picture things as well. And so I would love to continue this conversation, but we've reached our time together. And this has been so fruitful for me, and already, even, I've had the opportunity to read the book, so I've already made some changes.

And it's, for me, it's just more bringing them to conscious awareness, and the things that I might have been doing or doing sporadically, but really utilizing those to help to reset stress for myself. So thank you.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: That means a lot. Thank you.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Yeah, so where can people pick up a copy of the book, get more information from you, and all that good stuff?

DR. JENNY TAITZ: The book should be available wherever books are sold, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, your local bookstore. And they can find out more about me at drjennyTaitz.com, and I also just gave a TED Talk on a lot of the stuff from the book, some of the stuff from the book, sneak preview.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Amazing. Awesome. So Stress Resets: How to Soothe Your Body and Mind in Minutes.

Pick up a copy today everywhere that books are sold. I appreciate you so much. Thank you for coming to hang out with us today.

DR. JENNY TAITZ: Thank you. This was so much fun.

SHAWN STEVENSON: Awesome. 

DR. JENNY TAITZ:  I appreciate you.

SHAWN STEVENSON: The one and only Dr. Jenny Taitzz, everybody Thank you so much for tuning into this episode today. I hope that you got a lot of value out of this.

We're just adding tools to your superhero utility belt. The most important thing is to take advantage of what you've learned. We've gotta stop letting stress just jump in and take control of our lives. Yes, stress is a part of our lives. We're not trying to run from stress, and we're not trying to get all up in arms when stressors that oftentimes we feel are unnecessary.

That's the thing, just "I don't want this stress," and that fighting against it instead of acknowledging our ability to cope with stress and to handle stress and to metabolize stress is creating more stress. And so life is just going to happen. It is what it is. We're going to be exposed to stress and dealing with stress, but we have these stress resets in our hands, and also we have the ability to expand our awareness, to transform our perception of stress, and to know truly, backed by science, that understanding that we are strong enough and we have the capacity to overcome and adapt to the stressors that we're faced with is the key to making stress something that makes us more health affirming and to add to our longevity versus to be health detracting and to burn away that capacity much faster.

So the power is in our hands truly, and I appreciate you so much for tuning in. If you enjoyed this, share this out with somebody that you care about. Keep this conversation going, and we got some incredible master classes and world leading experts coming your way very soon, so make sure to stay tuned.

Take care, have an amazing day, and I'll talk with you soon.